Scream: Meta Comedy At It’s Most Obnoxious

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Clearly Wes Craven wasn’t done with meta comedy after New Nightmare and so takes it to the nth degree here much to the detriment of the film.

As a teen I really enjoyed the Scream series the first film was probably one of my favourite if not my favourite slasher films, however times have changed and I regret to inform you it does not hold up at all. So much so that I actually prefer Scary Movie a film that was designed to parody this film more than the film itself.

I understand the film wants to be knowing and mock the genre but it does it in such an obnoxious way. Rather than point out tropes and go against them the film just turns them up to eleven, tell me is that parody or continuation? A good example of this is Sidney Prescott’s, played by Neve Campbell, aversion to sex. Yes, the final girl is supposed to be pure and viriginistic, grossly sexist I know, but the film is aware of this trope and rather than subvert it, it just features it more prominently does that constitute parody?

Most of the characters are written as incredibly one note and have one stereotypical narrative role to play, yes again I know this is probably done knowingly but it doesn’t excuse the shabby job done here, they could have flipped it or done something different but no. This type of character is perfectly encapsulated in Gale, played by Courtney Cox, a reporter who will do anything for a story and who doesn’t really care about anyone but herself, for most of the film she is written in the shrew architype then they try to shove in a love plot to make her less hateable and honestly it is insultingly poor writing and character construction.

Also I question whether this film is even a slasher film as barely anyone is killed herein, once again in a further aspect the film is surpassed by the spoof version of itself.

Overall, entirely a rose tinted glasses affair, that which upon further inspection in the cold light of day falls apart easily.

Pros.

A few funny moments, some intentional some unintentional

The killer reveal

Cons.

One note characters

Not in any way subverting the tropes

The weird sexual focus on Sidney and her virginity

It is too meta for its own good

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The Devil Rides Out: Christopher Lee Becomes A Magical Warrior Of The Lord

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A satanic secret society infiltrates British high society and Christopher Lee is all that stands between them and their dastardly ends.

Yes, yes I know this film has some racial undertones and is in many respect problematic, but it was from over fifty years ago so I am not hugely surprised. I have acknowledged these elements but for the purpose of my review I am going to try and look past them as little more than a product of their time.

Without further ado on with the review. Christopher Lee was a fantastic actor; he commands the screen here as Duc de Richleau. He brings such gravitas to the performance it is hard to look away, you really buy his performance consistently throughout.

Moreover, the film handles its stakes very well. Though only small in scale the film makes its stakes feel far grander and it is hard not to get caught up in this battle between good and evil. The tension coursing through the film is often palpable especially when it comes to scenes of mental sparing.

The film is beautiful to look at, even though a few of the scenes look quite poor by today’s standards, especially the car chase. However despite this there is longing towards this style of film making within me wherein whole films are not just massive dumps of CGI that underpaid visual effects people were forced to make during one long weekend wherein they couldn’t go home and were paid below minimum wage most likely.

Overall, there is a charm to this film that we don’t seem to see anymore.

Pros.

Lee

The stakes

The tension

The Angel Of Death scenes

The ending

Cons.

The rather blatant racism

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Antlers: Beware The Call Of The Wendigo

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An investigation is undertaken after his school begins to suspect that a young boy may be being abused at home, however, the reality is actually even darker and altogether more supernatural.

I had been looking forward to this film for a long time and had heard good buzz about it, however, upon watching it I was sorely disappointed with it. Firstly it is needlessly bleak and dark for the sake of it, yes I understand the subject matter is unpleasant but that doesn’t mean the film can’t have any fun at all, honestly rather than scare me this film just depressed me. Moreover, the incredibly muted colour pallet done to fit with this aesthetic makes the film look generic and ugly.

I will give the film praise for its creature effects; the wendigo does look good when it appears on screen and is very distinctive. However, in a film so tied to First Nation beliefs it is noticeable that they only have one person of that background on the cast sheet and only use them to fulfil a mystic role, which frankly feels a little insulting.

Overall, this was executed so poorly that any promise it did have quickly dissipates. The wendigo is neat but sadly not much else about it is.

Pros.

The wendigo effects

The actors are trying

Cons.

It is depressing

It is visually uninteresting for the most part

The lack of First Nation representation

Pacing issues

The Cleanse: Wellness Is A Troubling Industry

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After his life falls apart Paul, played by Johnny Galecki, decides to go away on a cleansing retreat to unexpected results.

This whole same plot line was done far better in a twenty minute episode of Rick and Morty. Basically, during Paul’s stay at the retreat he sicks up some form of parasite that is supposed to represent all of his bad qualities, and as part of the retreat he has to kill it so he can become the person he wants to be. The difference between this and the very similar plot line on Rick and Morty is in the latter it only lasts for twenty minutes and the resolution is infinitely better. I thought from the beginning it was incredibly obvious where the film was heading.

The acting is fine Galecki is serviceable enough, no one really stands out. The thing I would give the film props for is the design of the creatures especially as they aged and became more monstrous, I thought they were well designed and made the appropriate impact.

Tonally this film is a mess as it doesn’t seem able to decide what it wants to be, there are serious moments ruined by a poorly written joke for example. It should really either be a straight horror or a darker comedy and not try for both as the writing just isn’t there.

Overall, some good ideas and strong creature design is balanced by a contrived and easy to guess story with a poorly thought through tone.

Pros.

Galecki

The creature design

Some interesting ideas

Cons.

Rick and Morty did it better

The tone is all over the places and clashes frequently

It is incredibly predictable

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The Grudge: Stop Remaking Foreign Language Horror Films, Learn To Read Subtitles

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

This film highlights why when you hear a Japanese horror film is getting an American remake you should be worried, especially when it is a remake of a foreign remake.

This is the truest January film that I have ever seen. By that I mean a bad film, most know that the big studios dump a lot of their let’s call them troubled productions out in January as a means of writing them off, this is a perfect example of that. It seems that everyone in this film knows it is bad, yet have turned up to be paid.

Talking about The Grudge series from the perspective of the American remakes I always thought it was lesser to the American remakes of The Ring and this film proves why. Not only does it seem afraid of its Japanese heritage, but it also seems content in doing nothing to push the needle forward or indeed even to produce a good film.

It does everything you would expect from a January horror film, it pumps out the jump scares none of which are as scary as the rising cost of cinema attendance, and includes Lin Shaye for the member berries of the Blumhouse Crowd. Honestly Shaye is perfectly fine here.

Overall, this film is not worth your time.

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

It isn’t remotely scary

It seems scared of the series heritage

It is generic

It is dull

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Silent Night: Perhaps The Worst Christmas Film Ever Made

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of people spend one final Christmas together before they are killed supposedly killed by a poisonous gas in the morning.

Where to start with why I didn’t like this film? I suppose the most glaring issue with it was the fact that it preaches absolute faith in what the Government preaches and punishes the characters that dare to think contrary to that. I have read some reviews of the film that say that the message is the exact opposite to how I have taken it and that the point is a critique on mass panics/ mass obedience but I think if that were the case the film needed to do more to show that people were silly to take the pills,

Another wide issue with this film is its preaching. In many ways this can be viewed as an eco-horror as the gas that is coming to kill everyone is of course a result of man’s treatment of the planet. Frankly this rather obvious explanation felt irritating from the beginning, as we get it the planet is hurting but that doesn’t mean it needs to be stuffed into every piece of media as an easy plot point. I would have preferred it if the gas had been sent by some other foreign power.

Moreover, there is an argument to be made that this film is in bad taste. It tries to be a dark comedy horror film, but abandons any semblance of comedy early on and instead tries to become a horror drama film. The bad taste elements come in with regard to the pandemic that we are all living through, there are a number of things here that parallel where we are right now and these elements come across in bad taste at least to me.

Finally, this might be one of the most depressing films you will ever see, there is nothing fun or even really watchable about it and it is so unpleasant that simply finishing it feels like a herculean effort.

Overall, the only reason this film didn’t get lower is because Keira Knightly, Sope Dirisu and Lily-Rose Depp are all trying enough to give the film a few redeemable moments.

Pros.

Knightly, Dirisu and Depp are all trying their best

Cons.

The rest of the cast are not very good, especially Roman Griffin Davis who embodies everything wrong with child actors

It is deeply depressing

It has troubled and flawed morals

The preaching

Chucky: An Affair To Dismember

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The forces of good and evil do battle in a conflict to determine the fate of the Child’s Play universe.

For the most part this was the best episode of the series by far, only in one regard was I left wanting.

I enjoyed the stakes and thought the finale felt genuinely tense throughout, all of the characters on both sides of the fight had moments to shine, particularly Tiffany, played by Jennifer Tilly. It is an interesting direction for the series to go in having Tiffany break away from Chucky, played by Brad Dourif, and head out on her own to do evil. I hope season two continues to explore the fallout of this decision.

The series actually made me care about the teen characters despite moments in the early episodes were they seemed awful, which is no mean feat. By the end of the episode I was fully bought into their struggles and traumas and would like to see them recur within the wider Child’s Play universe.

Now to the negative.

The thing I didn’t like about the finale was how they handled Andy, played by Alex Vincent, and Kyle, played by Christine Elise. Basically, the last few episode went out of their way to build up both of these recurring characters however when it actually came to it in the finale they were given very little to do. Andy gets a few scenes and saves the day in the end but doesn’t have much of a meaningful showdown with Chucky and Kyle is apparently killed off screen…. Yes that’s right a fan favourite character is killed off screen. I hope, I really do, that the second season shows that she is still alive.

Overall, a mostly great finale with only the Andy Kyle stuff feeling underwhelming.

Pros.

Being invested in the teen characters

Chucky and Tiffany

Good stakes

The body count scene at the end

Cons.

Andy and Kyle deserved a bigger role in the finale

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Resident Evil Welcome To Raccoon City: Sony Isn’t Even Trying To Hide The Product Placement

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The first two games in the Resident Evil series are mashed together in what serves as another cinematic reboot of the franchise.

Oh boy this one is going to be divisive.

For the most part I really enjoyed this film, not as much as the earlier Resident Evil films with Milia Jovovich, but those hold a special place in my heart.

The biggest pro I can give this film is that I found it to be genuinely quite freighting, I don’t scare easily but this one did a number on me and stayed with me after I left the film. I thought the film did a lot of good atmosphere work as well as showing how much of a threat the mutants and Umbrella themselves are. I also thought the film was very tense throughout which only heightened this.

The casting… This is where things will get dicey for some. For the most part I thought the casting was good, many won’t like the portrayal of Leon S. Kennedy here, some for bigot reasons as Avan Jogia is playing a race swapped version of the character and others for the fact that he is constantly proven by the film to be inept and a bit of a loser. To those who Leon is there favourite character this will annoy them to no end, however, I was never that attached to Leon. Personally, despite him being a screw up character I actually thought Jogia did a lot with the role and I really liked him, he was probably my favourite character in the entire film.

Kaya Scodelario is great as Claire Redfield and Robbie Ammell is okay as her brother Chris, I think Scodelario is the start of the show throughout and would love to watch a Claire solo film with her in it. However, where the casting falls apart for me is with Tom Hopper as Albert Wesker. Firstly Hopper doesn’t look the part and looks distractingly miscast throughout, and moreover the characterisation of Wesker is all wrong with the film trying to portray him sympathetically despite him being one of the big bads of the Resident Evil universe. I didn’t like it.

The mashing together of the first two games stories worked for me and I felt like they gave both justice and didn’t rush through it. I would have liked Mr X to make an appearance but hey maybe in a sequel. I think there is enough there for both long time fans of the series, like myself, as well as for newcomers who might be unfamiliar.

Two other smaller issues I had with the film was the blatant product placement, it is everywhere, and the drawn out flash back opening, which I found to be quite slow. Personally I would have opened it with the police investigating Spencer’s mansion, but that’s just me.

Overall, I enjoyed myself I thought it did justice to the series and it scared me. Hopper was miscast badly and the product placement and opening put me off to a degree but the good vastly outweighs the bad.

Pros.

Jogia’s Leon

The scares

Scodelario’s Claire

The ending

Cons.

A slow opening

Hopper

The product placement

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Chucky: Twice The Grieving, Double The Loss

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The kids reel after a series of deaths, meanwhile Junior, played by Teo Briones, turns to the dark side.

In many ways this week feels like a build up to the finale, which isn’t necessarily a complaint as there are still a lot of fun moments here. This episode seems to be concerning itself with setting up all the pieces for the final showdown and what a show down it will be.

For the most part this episode is strong, a lot of good moments probably the best of these being Logan’s, played by Devon Sawa, death as it is brutal and memorable and will be one of the defining moments of the series for sure. Moreover, there is another excellent flashback wherein we get to see Fiona Dourif look eerily like her dad and nail the performance once again.

However, this episode is held back from a higher rating by two stupid narrative the decisions. The first being Andy, played by Alex Vincent, deciding to leave his adoptive sister, played by Christine Elise, behind and go on alone. It makes no sense why he would do this; the show wants us to believe he is doing this as a means to protect her yet he brought her back into this world in the previous films so he was fine with endangering her then. It just seems like you would want all hands on deck for the final showdown, no doubt she will conveniently show up. The other being Devon, played by Bjorgvin Arnarson claiming to be done and giving up, only to a few minutes later be back investigating again. This to me just felt pointless and like needless drama to pad out the runtime of the episode.

Overall, good but not great.

Pros.

Logan’s end

Another strong flashback scene

Fiona Dourif

The ending and what it sets up

Cons.

Dumb decisions.

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The Feast: If You’re Bringing Up Long Strands Of Hair Seek Medical Attention

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film follows a Welsh dinner party in which everyone in attendance dies by the end of the film at the hands of a mysterious being.

Though the premise is nothing new there is something so unsettling about this film that makes it good. There is an off-kilter uncanniness that accompanies this film wherein nothing is quite like it seems and everything is filled with clues and hidden meanings, in many ways to truly get everything out of this film you should watch it several times over.

I enjoyed the rural folk horror and thought it did interesting things with a message of environmentalism and not disturbing the natural world. I found the film more uneasy than scary however, there is nothing from this film that stayed with me after watching.

The acting is all quite good. I think Annes Elwy was strong as the lead and played both sweet and sinister well. Most of the characters in this film balance out fairly standard greed and lust issues with far darker under the surface evils to great effect.

Overall, a strong folk horror film that is well worth a watch even if you have to read subtitles.

Pros.

Elwy

The folk horror

The uncanniness to it all

The twist

Cons.

Not particularly scary

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