Cursed Friends: Finding A Razor Blade In Your Halloween Treats Would Be More Fun Than Watching This

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of friends find the predictions they made decades earlier coming eerily true.

So the opening few minutes of this film could be a cautionary tale all its own, bad effects work, worse jokes and immediately unlikeable characters. Yet what follows is so much worse, the direct next sequence is the gang as tweens walking around and talking about how much they want to ‘shag’ the boy dressed as Austin Powers. If that doesn’t tell you why this film sucks nothing ever will.

I have written quite a lot about the digital future and the pros of streaming, yet this film presents me with a very real case for how it is ruining the industry. Before pretty much every movie studio had a streaming service that they needed to plug with content things like this would get made far less and that was a good thing. However, with today’s need for content at all costs these sort of low effort, unfunny, trash pieces are becoming more and more frequent.

The thing that I think is the worst about this film is how try hard it is. Every joke tries to out edgy the last until honestly it just becomes boring because behind that edge there is no real bite just desperation. In my mind Jessica Lowe’s Erica was probably the worst in this regard, she was both unfunny and unlikeable and most of her jokes were written to be as outrageous as possible. However, Lowe is just one of a truly bad bunch, no one is good here and the fact that Will Arnett even agreed to be in this is nothing short of manically depressing.

Overall, probably the worst horror film this Halloween season.

Pros.

It is not offensively bad

Cons.

It is not funny

None of the characters are likeable

It is trying too hard to be edgy

Will Arnett needs to have some conversations with his agent

It is really just awful

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Bromates: This Film Makes The Hangover Look Oscar Worthy

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After two friends, played by Josh Brener and Lil Rel Howery, get dumped they must try and get on with their lives and get back on the horse, all with the help of each other and their wider group of friends.

So whilst this film had some funny jokes and strong performances from Howery and surprisingly from Snoop Dogg, it just isn’t enough to save it.

I think the worst part of this film is how cringey it is at times. There are multiple scenes where Brener’s character is just out and out humiliated, not in a funny way but in a sad way, and he just takes it and it is hard to watch. I suppose by the end of the film he has grown slightly as a person which I guess you could say is character development, but honestly those earlier scenes are hard not to fast forward through.

Moreover, I think this film is lacking anything new to say about male friendship. It has the same tiresome plot beats that we have seen dragged out over and over again for decades, it is so obvious where this film is going and it doesn’t even have the good grace to be funny to make up for it. There are one or two jokes that land, and they did make me laugh hard, but for the most part the jokes miss by miles.

Overall, watchable but Howery and Snoop Dog are wasted in this. To see a good Snoop Dogg film that features him well check out Day Shift on Netflix.

Pros.

Dogg

Howery

It is watchable

Cons.

It has nothing new to say about male friendship

It is the same old same old

It has some really horrible cringe

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The Blues Brothers: Singing For Their Supper, Which In This Case Is A Catholic Orphanage

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two blood brothers set out on a mission to save the Catholic orphanage in which they grew up. To do this they must put on a musical fundraising performance.

I have had this film on my watchlist for some time and now after seeing it I can see why so many people like it. Though I didn’t think this film was by any means perfect there was enough about it that I enjoyed to make my watching it worthwhile.

I think the film really nailed both the heart and the comedy of its story as it made me both feel and laugh, though I would say the humour was hit or miss and not all of the jokes landed. On top of that when watching this film one has to be in awe of all the musical talent on display as there are some real heavy hitters in this film.

My main issue with this film is that the narrative arc feels overly familiar, and yes whilst this came out a while ago so may have been fresh at the time I doubt it. In addition the film is frequently predictable and goes exactly as you would expect it to.

Overall, it is fun and worth a watch but also very familiar and predictable.

Pros.

It is very watchable

A few funny jokes

Belushi and Aykroyd

The musical talent

Cons.

It is overly familiar and predictable

It also has pacing issues

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Vengeance: Things Are Different In Texas

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ben, played by B.J Novak, heads to Texas to investigate the murder of his one night stand.

Honestly, I think this film has been a little overhyped. Some of the praise I had heard about this film being a ground-breaking first feature for Novak and that it really went to some interesting places seem to have been misplaced. I thought the mystery was okay, average at best, but certainly nothing to write home about in the way something like Knives Out was. The commentary on life and where we are all going is incredibly pedestrian and seems to think it has something new to say when in fact it is just the same old same old.

Sadly for Novak what makes his film good are the supporting performances that in no uncertain terms upstage his performance. Boyd Holbrook and Ashton Kutcher both deliver really strong performances that make this film what it is. Holbrook is incredibly warm and likeable and Kutcher makes for a villain that is both evil but also at times talking some sense.

Overall, fine if forgettable.

Pros.

Holbrook

Kutcher

It is very watchable

Cons.

It has nothing to say

The mystery is deeply average and nothing particularly new

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The Fog: Beware The Rolling Tide

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A mysterious fog rolls in over a small town killing lots of residents.

I enjoyed this film a lot and think that within Carpenter’s work other than Halloween this film is easily his best. There is something so wonderfully gothic about this film, the atmosphere is heightened and used to great effect for the scares which do come in quite naturally. I think as a result of this there is quite an unsettling quality to the film.

One thing I would say in terms of a negative for the film is that when the ghosts do in fact show up they look quite goofy in most of their scenes bar their final few. I think that was more a limitation of the technology of the time, but it does somewhat hold back the fear factor.

I liked that this film was packed with a cast of Carpenter mainstays and thought that all of the central performers did a great job. Adrienne Barbeau was a really strong lead anchor for the film and of course whenever Jamie Lee Curtis came on screen she stole her scene.

Overall, perhaps a underrated Carpenter great.

Pros.

Barbeau

Curtis

The atmosphere

The scares

Cons.

The ghost pirates look a little silly at times

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The Lost King: A Love For The Past

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The story of how one woman with a passion, played by Sally Hawkins, found a lost British King.

I think in many ways this film was very needed, it gave a voice to a story that is mostly unknown to a lot of people and where it is known it is known by the University of Leicester’s false narrative that they were behind the whole thing, which as this film proves they weren’t. In that respect this film gives us Phillipa Langley’s true story and that is important.

Moreover, the film really does go out of its way to make the academics of Leicester Uni into quite hateable villains, and whether in reality this was earned or not personally I don’t know enough to comment, however, here it nicely work to show Phillipa’s underdog struggle.

My main issue with the film is that it is widely depressing. I know that this film is based on real events and that the film is just trying to retell them sad, happy and everything in-between, but for the most part we are shown just how bad Phillipa’s life is and whilst that makes her incredibly easy to root for it also doesn’t make for pleasant viewing. Prepare to watch something happy after this one.

Overall, an important film, but also a depressing one.

Pros.

Giving a voice to the voiceless

A strong underdog story

Sally Hawkins and Steve Coogan are both really strong

Cons.

It is depressing

Pacing issues

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The Greatest Beer Run Ever: Friends Are Worth Risking It All For

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The true story of John ‘Chickie’ Donohue’s, here played by Zac Efron, efforts to support his friends fighting in Vietnam.

This film really wasn’t what I was expecting it to be, I thought based on the name and comedy work that Efron has put out that this film would be raunchy, dumb and more than a little gross out, but in actual fact it is actually quite emotionally engaging and complex. Whilst it is hard to call this film a comedy as it isn’t funny, it is a film with a surprisingly big heart.

I thought Efron was on great form here, this film gave him a number of ample opportunities to flex his dramatic muscles and he pulls this off nicely, conveying the horrors going on around him and the anguish he feels for all to see. In that vein I think this film really does show us the undercurrent of the Vietnam war and doesn’t hold back in its brutality.

Russell Crowe and Bill Murray make supporting turns here to varying degrees of success. Crowe is a very welcome presence and plays off of Efron well when on screen together whereas Murray is seemingly pigeonholed into the old timer who thinks things should go back to how they were in his day. Though it is always nice to see Murray pop up on screen, here he is very much not utilised.

Overall, a surprisingly sweet film.

Pros.

Efron

The message

Showing the horrors of the war

Crowe

Cons.

It wastes Bill Murray

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Halloween Ends: On A Par With The First Film

5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Halloween finally ends

Spoilers

A lot of people have not liked this film, and most of the critical reviews of the film out so far have been deeply negative, I however enjoyed this film a lot. A little context before we get into it, firstly I really disliked Kills and everything it did to the franchise, secondly I went into this film with incredibly low expectations.

Lets get right to the end and start there. I enjoyed that this film killed off Michael Myers, played by James Jude Courtney, I thought the final showdown with Laurie, played by Jamie Lee Curtis was perfect and liked that they threw his body into a crusher just to make sure. In that same category I liked that the film didn’t kill off Laurie as I always thought the idea of both of them having to die for Halloween to end was dumb, I thought it was sweet they let her character be happy.

I also thought thematically this film worked a lot better with the idea of letting evil in and locking it out and protecting yourself being poignant frames for the film. I liked that the narrative of Laurie’s book intensively fed into the plot and direction of the film. Likewise I thought the idea of generational evil with Corey Cunningham, played by Rohan Campbell, being somewhat of the new Michael Myers was a nice twist. I thought unlike other passing the torch narratives this felt a lot more earned and a lot better structured, we see Corey be tortured by the town and finally break and then join forces with Michael even taking the mask from him at one point. However, I also liked that in the end Michael reclaimed his mask.

Lastly, I also really enjoyed how the film played with the idea of Michael being a supernatural entity. The franchise has kind of set Michael up to be almost unkillable, as he is evil itself, however, here we still see that he has regenerative powers seemingly gaining strength from killing but we are also confronted by his age and the fact that he can’t keep going forever. I think these two contrasting elements work really nicely together to give us a whole new side to Michael Myers.

Overall, a fitting end to a beloved horror series.

Pros.

Generations of evil

Killing off Myers

Laurie finally gets closure

The meta narrative of the book feeding into the themes and plot of the film

Giving Alison, played by Andi Matichak, a much bigger role then what she got in Kills

Cons.

None, I thoroughly enjoyed by time with it.

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Dead Again: The Neo-Noir Really Is Running Out Of Road, Let It Rest

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A private investigator, played by Kenneth Branagh, and a hypnotist, played by Derek Jacobi, help a mute woman, played by Emma Thompson, with Amnesia to regain her memory, sadly it is of a horrible murder.

Honestly I can’t shake the feeling that I have seen this film somewhere before. I haven’t actually seen it you see but the plot is very familiar.

I think widely it is the performances that save this film, at its core you have three very talented actors delivering good performances, which make up for the film’s drawbacks. However, the good acting does not carry between the performers as I found the romance to be very stiff and unnatural feeling.

Branagh really does have a knack for the cinematic, however, I don’t think at this point in his early career he has really worked out pacing as this film has quite a lot of issues on that front. The film often ends up feeling like a slog in which you can’t wait for it to end.

Overall, the performances save it from mediocrity or worse, but the film does have noticeable issues.

Pros.

Thompson

Branagh

Jacobi

Cons.

The romance angle doesn’t work

Pacing issues

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Emily The Criminal: April From Parks And Rec Breaks Bad

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Emily, played by Aubrey Plaza, turns to crime after not getting anywhere in life.

I was very excited for this film before I had seen it, and after watching it I am decidedly more mixed on it. The one thing I can tell you up front is that without Plaza in it the film would have been a lot worse.

I think this film clearly highlights Plaza’s skills as a performer, but more specifically her dark side and dramatic sensibilities. Mainly before this role I have seen Plaza in a lot of dark and or quirky comedies and I think outside of the God awful remake of Child’s Play this was the first time I had seen her tackle something more or less straight with no jokes and I think she nailed it.

My main issue with the film as a whole was that it was a fairly generic breaking bad premise. Person turns to a life of crime, person makes money and doesn’t want to stop, and then they encounter negative consequences and either die or get arrested. For the most part this film was fairly generic only lifted above average by Plaza, however, I did appreciate that the ending didn’t skew the way I was expecting it to with Plaza’s character escaping and for the most part winning.

Overall, the film is been there and done that, but it does have a good ending and it also highlights Plaza’s skills as a performer.

Pros.

The ending

Plaza

It is very watchable

Cons.

It is generic

A lot of the plot is very predictable

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