We Need A Little Christmas: Why Not Just Let A Stranger Into Your Lives?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A recently widowed single mother, played by Erica Durance, struggles to connect with her son, however with the help of a friendly neighbour, played by Lynn Whitfield, she is able to get through to him and have an enjoyable Christmas.

Yes, I have started watching bad Hallmark Christmas films. Though Christmas is still a while off yet, it is never too early to inject a little Christmas joy into your viewing habits.

That aside this film was aggressively average, not only did nothing interesting happen throughout the entirety of the film, but also there were so many plot holes that I fell down one and have never gotten out of it. The main one that irks me is that even in small town America, where everyone is supposed to know each other and be friendly, I doubt that one would let a stranger so intimately into their lives so quickly, let alone their child’s life as well.

There is also some subtext in this film about single mothers being incapable that I didn’t like, you don’t have to scratch too far beneath the surface to see the traditional family values schtick which feels woefully out of date. Also there is a pro-military vibe that really comes out of nowhere and which makes this film feel quite conservative, which personally I am not about but that is a personal preference I suppose.

Overall, a decidedly meh Christmas film that falls apart the more you think about it.

Pros.

It is watchable

It is unintentionally hilarious

Cons.

The single mother bashing subtext

The strange pro-military aspects

The mountains of plot holes

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Raw: A Different Side To University Hazing

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young vegetarian medical student, played by Garance Marillier, develops a taste for human flesh after eating part of a rabbit during the hazing process at her university.

I think in so many ways this film is a triumph, I enjoy that it is not fully a horror film as even until the end there are also dark comedy aspects to the film that made me laugh. However, when viewing this film as a horror film it certainly falls within body horror more than any other genre, though an argument could be made for psychological horror as well I suppose. I think when considering this film as a body horror film it feels like a modern update to the early work of David Cronenberg, with a slight tinge of Eastern influence as well. I think if gore is not your thing then definitely give this one a miss, although I would say the gore never crosses the line into gross out territory.

Additionally, I thought that Marillier was a breath of fresh air in this film, feeling both deeply relatable in terms of her university experience, bar the cannibalism, but also somehow ethereal and myth like. I think you would be hard pressed to not like any of the characters here as they are all fairly easy to warm to.

Overall, a fabulous film.

Pros.

Marillier

The body horror

The relatability, feeling both real and fantastical at the same time

The ending

The dark comedy

Cons.

Some slight pacing issues

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Raymond And Ray: Burying A Body In Multiple Senses

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two brothers, played by Ethan Hawke and Ewan McGregor, go on a road trip to bury their abusive father.

I enjoyed this film quite a bit, the nuance of the narrative and the idea of complicated father son relationships spoke to me and I liked how the film handled it and how each brother found closure in their own way.

In terms of a sentiment side of things I thought the film didn’t really have anything new to say, none of its philosophies haven’t already been explored in full. However, despite the plot of the film being quite humdrum I think the performances from both leading men more than make up for it. Hawke and McGregor both go on long journeys with their characters that feel both natural and by the end earned, I would be hard pressed to pick a better performance out of the two of them.

Another thing I think the film does well is balance out its comedy with its drama, making sure to keep the tone just right and never venturing into one or the other too completely.

Overall, thought it is nothing new the performances and character journeys keep this film engaging and enjoyable.

Pros.

Hawke

McGregor

The tone

The character work

Cons.

It is nothing new

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Hocus Pocus 2: This Time With More Alexas

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Sanderson Sisters return again.

I found this film to be mostly charming, I liked the updated humour and thought that the Sisters interacting with modern technology was a lot of fun. The film definitely benefits a lot from making the Sisters front and centre for this new instalment as it gives them a lot of time to shine. This is doubly good as the new lead of the film Becca, played by Whitney Peak, is incredibly dull and forgettable and the originals are needed to step in and save the film from her.

I think the stand out stars of this film were Sarah Jessica Parker’s Sarah, Sam Richardson’s Gilbert and Doug Jones’ Billy. Sarah Jessica Parker brings such a warmth and child like sense of wonder to her role that really helps to separate her character from the other Sanderson Sisters and makes it hard to root against her. Richardson is always very easy to warm to and that is no less true here, he has great chemistry with Jones and the two should get their own spin-off. The return of Billy could have felt in many ways just a nostalgia grab, but Doug Jones really does add a sense of agency to Billy and gives him an arc that adds weight to his return which really does work well.

My main issue with the film is the ending wherein the Sisters are basically redeemed and then killed off, seemingly setting the stage for Becca and her pals to become the new witches going forward. Now this sucks on multiple levels, firstly they shouldn’t have been redeemed the enjoyable thing about these characters was in how cartoonishly evil they were at times, secondly the seeming replacement characters are dull and have no soul or personality, and finally these films are about the Sanderson Sisters so to get rid of them from the franchise would be hugely folly.

Overall, still a good time but the ending spoils it to an extent.

Pros.

The humour

Jessica Parker, Richardson and Jones

It does justify its existence

Cons.

The ending

The new trio of leads are just awful

The Storied Life Of AJ Fikery: To Live And Love In Small Town America

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The story of a man, played by Kunal Nayyar, from small town America whose life begins anew when he adopts a child.

I thought in many ways this film was beautiful, it told a story of life and love and renewed hope when things seem bleakest, in these current times we can all do to be reminded of this. I would say it was happy throughout but that would be a lie as it is a sad ending, however, in that way it is reminiscent of real life, good times and bad.

Moreover, Nayyar was fantastic. Admittedly this is the first role I have seen him in outside of The Big Bang Theory but if this is anything to go by that show was heinously wasting his talents as a dramatic actor, in addition he also had great chemistry with his on screen love interest played by Lucy Hale. Hale for her part here managed to be charming and warm throughout, which as many of you who are long time readers of mine will know is high praise indeed as I think Hale’s career so far has painted her as a bad actor through and through.

My main criticism of this film would be that it tries to add in a lot of needless drama and mystery towards the end by pitting Christina Hendrick’s character against Nayyar as she wanted the child he adopted. Not only does Hendrick not really need to be in this film, as it would work well without her character at all, but also this subplot doesn’t fit the rest of her characters established personality within the film and feels shoehorned in for the sake of petty drama.

Overall, a sweet film.

Pros.

Nayyar

Hale

It is sweet and effecting

It tries to reflect the duality of life and death

Cons.

The needless drama towards the end

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Barbarian: Stay Out Of Basements, Learn A Lesson

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A rental house with a mysterious woman, played by Matthew Patrick Davis, living underneath it turns into a life or death struggle for several of its occupants.

I thought this was quite a smart art house horror film. Clearly there was more to it than a lot of the generic genre fare that comes out in the multiplexes these days, in many ways it reminded me of the films of Jordan Peele, smart horror wherein the themes and broader societal comments become almost more important than the horror itself.

However, I also did think this film had a number of good scary scenes, particularly the death of Bill Skarsgard’s character, as well as the flashbacks with Richard Brake. I think this film can be quite scary when it wants to be and the monster of The Mother is easily a new one for genre diehards to latch onto. I enjoyed that they never fully explained how the Mother was the way she was, because whilst they do say she is the product of copious inbreeding, that doesn’t explain her ability to withstand so much violence done to her by the main characters and then just carry on again in the next scene, there has to be more to it.

The one thing I didn’t much care for was the mid movie twist wherein after the seeming death of our two main characters we then meet AJ, played by Justin Long, an actor turned predator. During our time with him the film goes to great lengths to talk about career ending allegations and guilt, but I feel like all of this has been done better and said in a more timely manner. Not to say that this is no longer and important conversation, it is, but it has really missed the fever pitch when these sort of debates were happening all the time. In addition the way the film handles these topics and conversations lacks any kind of grace or nuance and sometimes feels a little in bad taste.

Overall, a good film for the most part with a few baffling choices made that drag it down somewhat.

Pros.

The monster

The mystery

The ending

Cons.

The MeToo stuff

It doesn’t fully make the most of its premise

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Prey For The Devil: Watch Out For Old Men With Long Tongues

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A nun, played by Jacqueline Byers, sets out to become an exorcist.

Before I get into all the ways this film was lazy trash I just want to give it one thing and that is the fact that it does have a number of good effect scenes where we get quite creepy and disturbing things coming from the possessed little girl, played by Posy Taylor.

Okay, let’s crack on with all the ways in which this film highlights the very worst of the sub-genre. The worst sin of this film is its script which is paper thin, ridiculous to a laughable extent and so incredibly predictable that you might as well stay home and guess how this film will turn out, not only will you be right and save money, but you will also have to give up a lot less of your time. Around about the time the little girl turned out to be the main characters daughter, a moved which is sign posted almost from the get-go, is when I mentally checked out of this film.

There were also a number of moments wherein this film was supposed to be scary but that it actually went the other way and was funny. This can be best seen during the early part of the film where an old man attacks our lead and has a tongue that just flies about the room and then he starts dancing with her, this to me was in no way scary and was in fact actually hilarious is this film supposed to be a horror comedy?

One last thing to note is that the girl power message of this film of breaking the system and that women can do anything men can do feels like it belongs in the nineties, it is horribly trite and overdone and feels almost like the film is overcompensating for something else, but I will let you decide what that is.

Overall, an incredibly weak possession film, but shockingly not the worst I have seen.

Pros

Colin Salmon

It is watchable

Cons.

The script

It is laughable at times when it is trying to be scary

The girl power stuff is incredibly ham-fisted and awfully handled

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Slayers: A Torturous Existence Surrounded In Mediocrity

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of influencers hunt vampires.

Originally I was quite on board with this film, I liked Thomas Jane’s character and I thought the comedy/commentary was pretty on point, and then it has to go and ruin it all by just becoming another generic vampire film.

I think the worst thing about this film for me is that it boils down to the same old same old, some vampires and slayers attack one another until one comes out on top, there is nothing fresh about that. Moreover, a lot of the characters other than Jane’s are deeply unlikeable and irritating: though maybe that is on purpose. For the most part any film about influencers is best avoided.

The horror is not really there at all, the atmosphere is more jokey than anything else and yes they do have a little bit of gore but really that is nothing too shocking, it’s all fairly tame.

Overall, yet another generic vampire film.

Pros.

Jane

The comedy/commentary

It is short

Cons.

The characters are unlikeable

You have seen it before

It is deeply generic

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Terrifier 2: More Isn’t Always Better

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Art, played by David Howard Thornton, is back at it again.

I have been looking forward to this for a long time, and my expectations were both met and not met at the same time.

I liked that the gory carnage of the first film continued on and if anything this film was even more ambitious taking things to a whole new extreme. However, therein lies an issue I have with this film, if anything the violence goes way beyond what the first film had and does cross into a place of being gratuitous and nasty. I think the gross out spectacle of this film is put before everything else and as the film gets carried away with its larger budget it never stops to think about how far is too far.

In terms of story we get more of a classic slasher narrative here than we did in the first film, we are introduced to new final girl Sienna, played by Lauren LaVera, and she and Art do battle. I liked LaVera’s performance and saw quite a lot of a young Jamie Lee in her, I think that if she sticks around within the genre she can easily become a new and beloved scream queen in time. I would say however, that the plot of this film falls apart in the last twenty minutes where things just happen and nothing really makes sense. The film is badly paced and does go on for too long, as you reach the end of the film where the narrative starts to eat itself you are quite ready for it to just be over.

Overall, more doesn’t mean better.

Pros.

LaVera

Art is still a great villain

I liked that this film deepens the lore

Cons.

The violence borders on the tasteless at time

The third act falls apart and then sets fire to the whole film

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Lyle Lyle Crocodile: A Surprising Delight

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A singing crocodile, voiced by Shawn Mendes, enters a families’ life and changes it forever.

Is this the greatest film ever? No. Will this be the film that gets you into the music of Shawn Mendes? Probably not, but maybe.

Though this film will never set the world on fire I think it was a lot better than it had any right being. The best thing about it is certainly the energy and the heart that the film has, this film is a fun ride that is undeniable and during that ride it will make you feel things, you’ll laugh and you’ll cry and by Jove you might even end up liking the songs of Shawn Mendes. Before watching this I had never heard a Shawn Mendes song but now after watching it I can safely say I might listen to his music now, I feel like the film was a good taster for it.

I think the performances across the board were good, especially Javier Bardem and Constance Wu, both gave off real warmth and had us care about their characters. In the case of Wu this film really reminded me of the charm and charisma she had on the early seasons of Fresh Off The Boat I hope she keeps making films where she gets to have fun and show off that side of herself.

There are some rather obvious issues with the film such as weird CGI for the crocodile and incredibly blatant product placement, but to me I thought both of these added to the so bad it is good appeal of the film. Certainly it is more of a goofy watch then a serious film that you have to sit down and experience, it reminded me in many ways of the recent Sonic movies.

Overall, a lot of fun was had.

Pros.

It is a fun ride

It is very well paced

It makes you laugh and cry

Lyle is incredibly likeable and cute

Cons.

It is nothing new, but in a sense it doesn’t need to be

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