Summary, a modern audience adaptation of Homer’s The Odyssey with renewed female focus.

Sadly the Editor demanded that someone cover this film and that fell to me so here we are. The film didn’t look good from the trailers and from the other marketing materials but there is still further to fall.

Firstly, not only is Helen of Troy black but also Troy has a black princess. This makes no sense for the region or the time period but hey Troy is clearly Wakanda lite.

Secondly, to address the evil nature of Homer’s original text and how it didn’t focus enough on the female perspective despite being written about a war and return home from it, things only men would have had experience with at the time, we get lots of Penelope action. She is a girlboss running Ithaca turning down all the marriage proposals, as she is married and believes her husband is still alive. This wastes a lot of the film’s runtime goes on for far too long, but hey we needed more female perspective so forced marriages and suitors is the way to go, very progressive Chris.

Thirdly, the idea of Ellen Page as a greek warrior is laughable. If a male child was born like that in ancient Greece it likely would have been left for dead, she has the normal portions for a woman, but hey ho this clearly a very tolerant and progressive ancient Greece.

Fourthly, as is customary of Hollywood you can’t really have villains they have to be misunderstood. Charlize Theron’s Circe both helps the gang but also keeps and rapes Odysseus for 7 years but is not treated like the out and out villain she is. The woman uses a man for her pleasure and that is all that matters in these modern days where marriage is oppressive and men the enemy.

Finally, Odysseus is made out to be a monster for killing innocent people during the Trojan war, once again despite the left’s refusal to accept reality innocent people die in war all the time. He is punished repeatedly by Zendaya, whose presence in this film reminds us all that you don’t need to be able to act to be an actor.

You can tell at times this is adapting the translation and not the original text, the message is very clear. Women are made to rule, to use and punish men as they see fit, and that men are only after power and use women for it and that war is bad.

Christopher Nolan used to be a serious filmmaker this is not serious filmmaking it is a vandalisation of Greek mythology, but hey they refuses to do the press tour in Greece so what does it matter.

1/5

Pros.

There are a few aspects of the classic text it leaves alone.

Cons.

The modern dayisms

Expecting people to believe that Ellen Page is a greek soldier

The terrible acting at times

The pacing and bloat

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