The American Society Of Magical: Race Hate The Movie

Summary

A film meant to stand up an archaic racist trope, becomes just as racist.

If a filmmaker made a film wherein the plot line said there was nothing worse than an upset or threatened man of colour and tried to release it in the contemporary market it would be rightly condemned as hugely racist. However, the idiotic idea that you cannot be racist towards white people is tested to the limit here and proven that you actually can. The way this film generalises about white people and uses blatant caricatures, even for the purpose of comedy, is racist there is no other way to describe it. If as I laid out at the beginning the tables where turned this film would not have been made, yet this film sees the light of day despite an almost pathological hatred of white people seeing them all as villains out to oppress the lead.

Racist humour exists of course one only needs to tune into an episode of Family Guy to see an outdated stereotype of some kind, yet there the difference is that the show doesn’t get up on a soapbox and tell you it is progressive and righteous, it knows it said a racist joke and rolls with it rightly or wrongly. Here however the film thinks it can be as racist as it likes towards white people, making them out to be lazy, stupid, violent and incapable of doing anything other than steal the hard work of those they oppress, and then wants to say it is progressive, when it is actually regressive and divisive.

The most stupid thing about this film is that it doesn’t understand the trope it is trying to comment on. Within films about said trope, it is in the title, the character has no agency other than to serve and help the white characters yet the characters here have no agency and only exist to serve, they don’t want to change the status quo. As such what is this film challenging? What is it updating? It is just repeating the trope again but saying ‘oh look guys we can see its wrong’, but do they do anything new with it? Nope, they just have a character point out how messed up the trope is something that everyone with a brain already knew.

Finally the lecture at the end of the film where the main character finally stands up for himself just feels like hate speech, it boils down to white people are bad, again sub out that for any other race and this film wouldn’t be made, but this film seems to have a bee in its bonnet.

Overall, there is a reason that this film has underperformed and been ravaged by critics it is race baiting plain and simple, the creatives clearly have some prejudice towards white people, in my opinion, and wants to inject that into the film seemingly unaware that it will alienate a large part of the audience. A well deserved flop that hopefully kills the careers of those involved with it.

0/5

Pros.

None

Cons.

It is disgustingly racist

It hates its audience

It preaches and lectures rather than try to be entertaining

It is tonally all over the show

It doesn’t actually update the trope it just recycles it and goes yes we know its bad

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Orion And The Dark: One For The Anxious Kids

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young boy realises that the dark is nothing to be afraid of.

I really liked this film for the most part. I thought that Orion was super relatable, and that anyone who was ever an anxious kid will immediately remember feeling his anxieties, it is like a shared collective trauma. I thought it was a bit weird when we stepped away from Orion and it was about his kid and then her kid, I thought this seemed a little confused and messed with the flow of the film it would have worked better narratively if it had just stuck with him.

I thought Orion’s interactions with and friendships with Dark and the other night entities was all quite sweet. You really believed the friendship between Orion and Dark and when they save each other from death throughout the course of the film at different points you can see they care about each other. It is very wholesome. Plus it was nice seeing Natasia Demetriou get some work she is always great. My one complaint on the character side of things would be that the film had too many and as such some of the side characters came off as wanting and lacking in the personality department, we could see them on-screen but knew very little about them.

Overall, a solid Netflix animated film.

4/5

Pros.

The lead is super relatable

The friendship between Dark and Orion is nice

It is very wholesome

The animation is nice

Cons.

The side characters are underdeveloped

Swapping to Orion’s kid and then his kid’s kid is a bit jarring

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The Boy And The Heron: Ornithophobia

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A boy enters a mythical world in order to save his surrogate mother figure whilst also investigating the death of his actual mother.

I thought this was a beautiful film to look at every ounce of it had the Ghibli magic that we have all come to know the studio for. The world is so dense and rich and easily explorable, and as you go on this adventure there are so many interesting little side stories established but not fully explored allowing your imagination to fill in the blanks.

The actual plot relating to motherhood family and generations feels very personal, and you care about the character’s journey and want to find out what happened to the mums, and the families connection to this other realm. Though the film doesn’t give away all the answers I would say the ending we got was satisfying and feels weighty.

The one thing I would say about this film, and it didn’t bother me personally but I would be remiss not to say it, is that at times it can be very unsettling, especially in the early parts of the film wherein the heron seems like an almost demonic force intent on harming the kid. As such my point is that this aspect of the film clashes with the wider family friendly tone of the film and if you are considering watching this one with your kids it is something to bear in mind, there are a few frights.

Overall, a lovely swan song for a true titan.

4/5

Pros.

It is a fantastic world

The story is impactful

It leaves a lot to your imagination

It is a sweet film

Cons.

It is not always the most family friendly

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The Little Mermaid: The Opening Salvo Of The Summer Movie Season

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Little Mermaid gets the live action remake treatment.

So I went into this with pretty low expectations and thinking it wasn’t really going to be my sort of thing but I ended up enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would. I will preface this review by saying that I haven’t seen the animated original so I wasn’t attached to one version of this story.

I want to say right off the bat that Halle Bailey is a great Ariel and really helps the character to feel likeable and rounded in a live action format. On top of that she also has a very believable and strong romantic chemistry with the male lead, played by Jonah Hauer-King, which helps the film to really work as a date movie. Bailey of course also has a great singing voice and pulls off all the songs truly very well, or as well as can be done with the woeful new songs.

However, the strong cast doesn’t extend across the board Awkwafina is terribly miscast as Scuttle and has a groan inducing rap sequence that also doubles as one of the terrible new songs I mentioned earlier. It is such as a shame the film felt the need to introduce a few new songs as the old ones are still great and are what the audience want, but hey they have to have new songs to try and enter them into awards races later in the year. Awkwafina’s miscasting is somewhat offset by Daveed Diggs as Sebastian who is damn near perfect casting and who makes that Crab the stand out character of the whole film, bring on the Sebastian Disney + show I say.

A final point I want to flag up is that the effects and pacing of this film are both noticeably off and that on a technical level these things hold back the film. The underwater effects look bad and unfinished and I know Disney has bad relations with effect houses but they clearly needed to fix this if they want to improve their CGI, because at times the CGI hear was shocking, especially compared to what The Way of The Water was doing at the end of last year. Moreover, the extra story for Eric and a few other characters is nice but it really doesn’t need the film to be an extra half an hour longer than the original, at the length it is being shown at this film has a second act that drags by at a glacial pace.

Overall, a better live action remake than most of Disney’s others

3.5/5

Bailey

The classic songs

The romance

Digg’s Sebastian

Cons.

The effects and pacing

Awkwafina

The new songs

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The Princess Bride: Your Princess Is In Another Castle

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A story within a story about a young farmhand, played by Cary Elwes, who must go on a quest to save the love of his life, played by Robin Wright, after she is kidnapped.

For the most part I enjoyed this film. Yes, the damsel in distress plot line is played out, but I suppose when the film came out maybe it felt more fresh. That aside I found this to be an entertaining ride.

The comedy was the thing that caught me off guard, I had been expecting more of a straightforward adventure/fantasy film and as such wasn’t really expecting many jokes, but this film does have a lot of them and most of them work well. It certainly made me smile more often than not.

Additionally, I liked the meta aspects of the narrative wherein the story knows it is a story and as such is a bit more playful and knowing both within its narrative as well as its presentation towards the audience.

I think as well that Elwes and Wright have great chemistry and them together as a couple in this feel incredibly natural and rightly paired.

Overall, a lot of fun.

4/5

Pros.

The great chemistry

The jokes

The metaness

It is a lot of fun

Cons.

Some aspects of the film feel quite dated now

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The NeverEnding Story: A Fantasy Classic?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young boy, played by Barrett Oliver, soon finds himself on a quest in a magical fantasy land.

Before watching this I had never seen The Never Ending Story before, I had long heard tale of it being one of the best fantasy films ever made, but it remained a mystery to me. However, now after having watched it I can safely say that Peter Jackson’s original trilogy of trips to the Shire are safe in their spot as the best fantasy films ever made.

Now the film does have some good areas, such as the effects which hold up reasonably well, and the characters which manage to feel different enough to stand out from the generic masses of mythical beings that pad out the rest of the fantasy film genre.

However, where the film falls down for me is within it’s plot. I understand that it is adapting a book so can only do so much, but the premise is just one I have seen so many times before in a cross media context, and that genericness made me start to tune out when I realised the direction the film was heading in. Moreover, the film also suffers from pacing issues which makes it feel far longer than it is and as such far more of a chore to get through.

Overall, a serviceable film but definitely not the classic it is thought as by some.

3/5

Pros.

The effects hold up well

Some interesting and memorable characters

A good score

Cons.

The premise feels very generic

Pacing issues

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Dungeons and Dragons Honor Amongst Thieves: Rolling Hard For Charisma

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A motley crew of thieves, sorcerers and resistance fighters set out on a quest to steal a magical artifact that has the power to resurrect the dead and reunite one of the band with his dead wife.

I enjoyed this film more than I thought I would. I will admit here relatively up front that I am fairly inexperienced when it comes to Dungeons and Dragons and the wider lore of the game, I have played a few sessions of it in my time but I have never been overly into it. So that said I was coming into this world fairly fresh.

I thought that the cast of characters we meet are all fairly charming, Michelle Rodriguez and Justice Smith really shine in their roles as a fearless warrior and a hapless sorcerer, but are probably out pipped by Chris Pine as the master planner extraordinaire. I bought into their motivations and thought that they nicely engaged me over the course of the film’s runtime, so much so that if there were to be a sequel I would say they should return.

The real strength of this film is its comedy, which for the most part really did land for me. Yes, there were one or two jokes that didn’t land or that were out and out bad but for the most part this film was fairly funny. First impressions may suggest that this film is more of an action and adventure epic in the same vein as a Pirates Of The Caribbean, but I would argue that in actuality this film is far more of a comedy then anything else.

Overall, funny and charming, only held back by a weak villain and pacing issues.

3.5/5

Pros.

Pine, Rodriguez and Smith

It has charm, heart and laughs

You engage with the character and buy their motivation

It is fun

Cons.

It has pacing issues

The villain is weak and forgettable

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Record Of Ragnarok: Season 2 Overview

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The fight between Gods and Men continues.

In my mind this first half of the second season is both good and bad. Fairly split down the middle. Unlike in season one where all the fights were interesting, this time around it is decidedly more one sided.

The fight between Shiva and Raiden did little for me, even when the backstories of both tried so hard to get you to care about them. I thought Raiden’s death made little sense, though I did like the fact that he and his Valkyrie found love before they died. However, the fight between Hercules and Jack the Ripper on the other hand was fantastic, easily the best of the series so far. Jack the Ripper as a character is so downright sinister that he is a treat to watch, I like that the series has dipped into his origins and brings him back in the very last episode as there is so much more they can do with him. Likewise I really enjoyed how his episodes have almost a horror quality to them and feel a lot darker than the rest of the show.

I like that with each new season, or halve season in this case, the show is deepening the mythology of its own world and I hope next season dips into more about the Valkyries background and motivation.

Overall, still a very good show and one to watch.

3.5/5

Pros.

Jack the Ripper

A deeper mythology

The fights are entertaining

It manages its tone well

Cons.

I didn’t care very much about the Raiden and Shiva fight

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The Mummy Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor: In Need Of Rachel Weisz

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The O’Connells, played by Brendan Fraser and now for some reason Maria Bello, take on a new undead foe in the form of the Dragon Emperor, played by Jet Li.

A lot of people hate on this film and for the most part I can totally see why, replacing Weisz with Bello is noticeable mostly because Weisz was as big a part of the series as Fraser so her absence feels odd, not to mention the fact that Fraser and Bello have no chemistry at all. I also don’t like that they make Fraser’s Rick some what of a deadbeat dad and give him a backseat in what should be his own film.

However, that said I do think this film has some redeemable parts to it. For me this mainly comes in seeing new undead threats and moving away from Ancient Egypt, I think this is a great idea as it really helps the film feel different, fresh and expands the world of the film to a great effect. Moreover, both Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh are fantastic in their new roles and really do bring a lot to the film. I think Li in particularly easily fills the shoes of Vosloo from the previous two films and is a commanding presence on screen.

I also really, really like that this film features Yetis, but that is just because I find that cryptid creature fascinating.

Overall, certainly the weakest film in the trilogy but not without redeemable moments.

2.5/5

Pros.

Moving away from Egypt

It feels fresh

The Yetis

Cons.

Weisz not returning

Making Jack a bit player in his own film and pushing the son

The pacing issues are quite noticeable

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The Mummy Returns: Some How They Managed To Make The Effects Even Worse

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The O’Connells, played by Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz, do battle with Imhotep, played by Arnold Vosloo, all over again this time bringing their kid, played by Freddie Boath, along as well.

I think in many ways this film really tries to recapture the magic of the first film and in some ways really succeeds in that quest whilst at the same time drastically failing in other areas. I think on the whole this is a diminished sequel that fails to live up to the first film.

My two main issues with this film are that the iffy CGI and VFX work of the first film is turned up to one hundred here and becomes laughably bad. This really hurts the film as it stops it being scary anymore. In addition the child actor playing the O’Connells kid is really quite terrible and his distractingly bad performance also drags you out of the film. Child actors are rarely good in any film but this one is particularly annoying throughout and this is only made worse by how much the film likes to focus on him.

The two things I will give this film credit for however are, one that they raise the stakes from the first film and really start to flesh out the world as a whole and two that they bring back Ardeth, played by Oded Fehr, from the first film and give him a lot more to do which is nice considering he is one of the most interesting characters in the entire series. I would argue quite passionately that it should have been Ardeth that got the spin-off film and not Dwayne Johnson’s Scorpion King but hey.

Overall, a lesser sequel but one that still gets some stuff right.

3/5

Pros.

The wider scope

Brining back Ardeth and giving the character more to do

Still some good moments and scares

Cons.

The CGI work is awful

The kid is incredibly annoying and the film focuses on him way too much

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