The Emperor’s New Groove: A Hidden Gem Of Disney

The Emperors New Groove is an animated family film directed by Mark Dindal. The plot sees Emperor Kuzco (David Spade), be turned into a llama in order for villains to try and usurp this throne. The mighty Emperor must team up with a village peasant (John Goodman), in order to reclaim his birth right.

So despite this film coming out long after the golden years of Disney Animation, I think that this is one of the best Disney films possibly ever, but certainly of the early 2000’s.

The comedy and the charm are what really make this for me. I am a big David Spade fan and usually find him quite amusing, but I enjoyed how this film’s humour played off his personality as was often quite self-deprecating. I thought the choices of narration that breaks the fourth wall was also quite an inspired idea, one that makes the whole film feel more engaging.

I enjoyed the very distinct feel of this film and how because of the unique colour pallet and style it felt different from all the other Disney animated films. A film having a strong personality is always a good thing.

The supporting voice cast also do a good job, with Goodman and veteran Patrick Warburton being the standouts. There characters both feels very well realised, which makes them far more compelling.

Overall, an often-overlooked Disney gem.

Pros.

The unique feel and style

David Spade for the most part

The voice cast as a whole

The comedy

It is very watchable

Cons.

Spade does get a bit annoying at times

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Mulan: Remove The Dragon Remove The Heart, A Superhero Story

Mulan is a fantasy action film directed by Niki Caro. The plot sees young woman Mulan (Yifei Liu), defy Chinese society by riding off to take her fathers place in battle, thereby becoming a solider and later a legend.

So before I get into this I want to again address my bias. The lead actor Yifei Liu defended the police’s brutal response to the Hong Kong protests, which is a sickening fact, but one I nevertheless tried to remove from by mind while watching so I could stay objective.

On the scale of Disney live action remakes this felt comfortably along side the Lion King. The reason for that is though there are a few changes, that are mostly insignificant and hurt the film, it still feels very familiar to the original animated version.

By removing Mushu and the songs from this film, you get a very joyless experience, that tries to go for realism and sticking to the source folk tale, until it gets bored of that and puts in magic and shape shifters just for the hell of it.

Furthermore, the film totally undermines Mulan’s personal journey by having her already be quite competent right from the off. In the original animated version, Mulan was terrible when she started off and got gradually better over the course of the film, here she starts off already quite a good fighter and then becomes a superhero by the end. I am not kidding with the superhero thing, when she becomes herself, she is cutting down groups of men twice her size in seconds and hitting people with arrows who are incredibly far away with ease; it is deeply unbelievable and laughable when you consider the realism angle.

There is also quite a bit of China pandering throughout, where they will randomly say how great the country is and how honourable and proud its ways are. I found this to be as off putting as bad product placement, but I am not hugely surprised Disney did it as they’re clearly aiming this one more at China than anywhere else.

I found Liu to be a likeable enough lead, the jokes they kept in from the original still worked for a laugh and she had enough charisma to keep the film afloat.

Moreover, the villains were improved from the original, we get a new secondary antagonist introduced, who seems very interesting, but the film does very little with her. The reason I say they’re more improved this time around is because they’re far more imposing and threatening.

In that same vein the action is also well done and is easily the standout point of the film, the battle scenes are well done and well-choreographed, with a clear martial arts inspiration. They were the saving grace of the film.

Overall, a deeply needless film that fails at being realistic and ends up as a pandering joyless experience with some cool fight scenes.

Pros.

Yifei Liu is a likeable enough lead

The villains feel more scary

The action is well executed

Cons.

The failure at realism

It is joyless and hard to get through

The pandering

Ruining Mulan’s arc

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Sucker Punch: Rape As A Plot Device

Sucker Punch is an action adventure film directed by Zack Snyder. The plot follows young woman Babydoll (Emily Browning), who finds herself accused of a crime she didn’t commit by her abusive stepfather. She is committed to an institution and escapes into a world of fantasy, where she fights Nazis and does various other stuff.

I will hand it to Snyder this was ambitious. The imagination on display, however sick and twisted it might be, is staggering. Sadly it doesn’t save this from being a disturbing mess of a film.

The various fantasises that Babydoll and co go to feel oddly random, there is not much rhyme or reason as to why these are their fantasises, which comes across as poor set up stemming from bad writing.

Secondly, this film is a teen action adventure so why is there a constant, and I mean from the off, rape threat throughout? This isn’t an interpretation this is what the film uses to drive its narrative, there are several scenes where it is implied without question and a few more where it is conveyed in a more subtle way. I am not going to lie to you this is deeply off putting and feels exploitative, it is hard to finish.

I feel like in Snyder’s head this was going to be a big empowering female epic, but it goes right the other way and feels creepy and icky to watch.

The only pro I will give it is that Oscar Issac is more menacing in this than I think he has ever been before; he gives one hell of a performance.

Pros

Oscar Issac

The imagination

Cons.

Using rape as a plot device

It feels exploitative

It makes no sense

It is depressing in the extreme

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

End Of Days: Arnie Died For Our Sins

End Of Days is a fantasy action film directed by Peter Hyams. The plot sees muscles for hire Jericho (Arnold Schwarzenegger), become wrapped up trying to stop Armageddon. Jericho must protect a young girl, Christine (Robin Tunney), from turning into the reincarnated wife of Satan (Gabriel Byrne). His mission is to stop Satan consummating the union before the stroke of midnight of new years eve thereby brining about the end times and save Christine from her diabolical destiny.

So there is something almost therapeutic about watching Arnie beat the crap out of the Devil. This film does not really require much attention to watch and is a great passive viewing experience. It is dumb and the more you think about it the dumber it gets, but that is part of the fun here.

The film manages to be genuinely quite tense and scary when it wants to be. It uses Lucifer’s powers to get effect creating some chilling scenes. I also enjoyed the powerless feeling Schwarzenegger’s character had for most of the movie, it is interesting to see him play a character who can’t just punch or explode his problems away; though he does in the end.

Byrne is a lot of fun as the Prince Of Darkness, he plays the character with a lot of wicked menace but is also not afraid to crack a cool one liner every now and again, so that this film is not a completely dower affair. I also enjoyed watching his character interact with Schwarzenegger and I thought the two had great on-screen chemistry.

Overall, a great action horror thriller, there aren’t many of these types of films that work, but this one does to great effect.

Pros.

Byrne as the Devil

Schwarzenegger’s powerlessness

The tension and the horror

A few cool one liners

Cons.

The ending undoes the helplessness and Arnie just blows everyone up.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Scooby Doo And The Legend Of The Vampire: Rock On

Scooby Doo And The Legend Of The Vampire is an animated family film directed by Scott Jeralds. The plot follows Scooby (Frank Welker) and the gang as they head to Australia for a music festival, once they get there they find some strange goings on resulting in them coming face to face with a local vampire called the Yowie Yahoo.

So this was another classic from my early 2000’s childhood, I decided to revisit it as the animated Scooby Doo films prove to be great comfort viewing. I have to say I enjoyed it, it held up well. Also unlike Monster of Mexico this film did not rely on cheap stereotypes for characters, and actually had some well written Australian and Aboriginal characters (for a kid’s movie at least).

Though I talk a great deal about the problems with formulas I have to say the Scooby Doo formula works well, you know what you’re going to get and there is some comfort in that. I found the villain, the Yowie Yahoo to be quite interesting and I enjoyed the throughout rock feel of the film, which I thought was boosted incredibly by the return of the Hex Girls from The Witches Ghost.

Overall a fun and entertaining Scooby Doo adventure with interesting new characters and a terrific reunion.

Pros.

An interesting monster

Not using stereotypes

The rock feel of the film

The return of the Hex Girls

Cons.

A tad predictable

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Iron Sky, The Coming Race: Facebook News Got It Right

Iron Sky The Coming Race is a Finnish German Austrian comic science fiction action film directed by Timo Vuorensola. The plot this time around sees the surviving humans now living on the ruined Nazi moon base, however, there existence is threatened by the fact that the base is falling apart. So the daughter of James Washington (Christopher Kirby) and Renate Richter (Julia Dietze), from the first film, Obi (Lara Rossi) must lead a team to find a new element within the hollow Earth to power up a spaceship and save the last of her people.

So yeah as you can guess this film goes fully out there and has a race of lizard people being present throughout human history and saying that the Earth is hollow. I think these new twists added to the mythology of the film and helped this sequel to feel different enough to stand on its own. Furthermore, the ending twist of the Soviets having a base on Mars is inspired and hilarious; if a little predictable.

My issue with this film is that though the new characters introduced therein are good, they just aren’t as good as Washington and Klaus (Gotz Otto), from the first film. In terms of likeable lead characters this film defiantly has a void that isn’t filled by the new cast. Whatsmore by having Renate having a backseat for most of the film I feel almost cheated out of seeing her as the badass leader of the remaining humans, (this happens off-screen).

Overall, this is still good and entertaining and by embracing further wackiness it does justify its existence, but it should have been a direct follow up with a bigger focus on Renate and should have kept James around. A bit of a disappointment.

Pros.

The Red Planet twist at the end

Further embracing the weirdness

Renate’s final scene

Cons.

The new character struggle to be likeable

It just isn’t as good

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Iron Sky: They’re Back

Iron Sky is a Finnish German-Austrian comic science fiction action film directed by Timo Vuorensola. The plot reveals that the Nazi’s were not defeated in World War 2 rather they fled to a base on the Moon to plan a counterattack. We follow Renate (Julia Dietze) and Klaus (Gotz Otto), two of the Moon Nazi’s who are tasked with going back to Earth to prepare for an impending invasion.

I really enjoy this film; I have been meaning to watch it for a while and finally did, and I have to say it lived up to what I hoped it would be. The film fully executes the comedic nature of its premise, it is not afraid to get silly with it. The sense of humour of the film is quite zany and dark, but I have to say it kept me very entertained.

Easily the best character in the film is James Washington (Christopher Kirby), the model turned astronaut who unwittingly discovers the Nazi’s hidden fortress. He has a lot of the best lines in the film and made me laugh a lot.

This film does something I thought was impossible, it makes spoof movies good again. The spoof as a genre has had some great success, but in recent years it seemed to be dead after a lot of misfires in the early to mid 2000’s. However, this film and its well-done spoof elements prove there is still some life in the genre yet.

Overall, a wonderfully wacky good time, I whole heartedly recommend.

Pros.

Not afraid to get silly

Fully lives up to the premise

Christopher Kirby

The space battle at the end

Cons.

It becomes a little repetitive towards the end and some of the jokes don’t land.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Cats: Eye Bleach

Cats is a musical drama film directed by Tom Hopper. The film is a big screen adaption of the famous theatrical musical of the same name.

So, yes I watched this to see if it was as bad as everyone said and yes, I can confirm for you all it is trash. Copies of this film should be burnt and we as a species would be better if we could erase it from our collective memory. Here’s how I got there.

Right from the off, the design and look of the Cats themselves is off putting, they’re too humanoid and also weirdly sexual. I don’t know if Furriers where the secret target demographic for this film, but it is weird, the casts are often shaking what would be their human sexual organs and yeah, its uncomfortable.

Secondly there is no real plot, from the opening moments of the film we are bombarded with songs telling us about what cats are and what their world is, but they don’t really explain anything, and you have no idea what is going on. There is also a song very early on in the film that takes place in a graveyard and I personally found something very disconcerting about this one, like it made me panicky and troubled and I can’t really tell you why.

I understand that it is a musical, but the constant songs get to be a bit much, there are other musicals that have actual lines of dialogue in-between their songs, but this is not one of those films. The acting is blatantly not there, most of the actors seem to either be there for an easy pay day or because they were forced into it (at least that is how they appear when they are on-screen as they clearly don’t want to be there).

Overall, this is as bad if not worse than you have heard.

Pros.

It is bizarre.

Cons.

The furriness of it

The design of the Cats themselves

The lack of a basic plot

The repetitive non-sensical songs

The terrible performances.

0/5

Reviewed by Luke

Rise Of The Guardians: Forgotten Dreamworks

Rise Of The Guardians is an animated film directed by Peter Ramsey. The film sees the immortal guardians of children, Santa Clause (Alec Baldwin), The Easter Bunny (Hugh Jackman), The Tooth Fairy (Isla Fisher), and Jack Frost (Chris Pine), team up to defeat the evil entity know as Pitch (Jude Law).

So for the most part this was very generic family fantasy fare, the plot went the way you would think it would with an unlikely outcast hero rising to the occasion to save his friends and the world from evil. Same old same old. In many ways I don’t need to tell you what happens in this film because without seeing it you will be able to predict it.

The characters are likeable enough and the voice actors are giving it a valiant try to inject some personality into otherwise quite vacant character husks. However, the script certainly does the film no favours and often feels like it is caught between two different ideas; mainly in regard to tone.

The one positive I will say for this film, is the animation itself is great. It is very distinct and has it owns style that separates it from the rest of the DreamWorks line-up. I especially enjoyed how they showed the nightmare powers of Pitch on-screen, I thought it was very visually interesting to look at and that it also had an impressive scale.

Overall, very standard fare, you will have seen many other animated films just like this. The cool animation and strong voice acting won’t be able to change that fact. Very much a meh.

Pros.

The voice acting

The animation style

Cons.

Incredibly predictable

The characters feel very one dimensional

The tone cannot stay consistent

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Old Guard: Missing Something

The Old Guard is an action fantasy film directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood. The plot sees a group of immortal warriors get a new member. However, at the same time sinister forces gather to expose their existence to the world and use them for evil experiments.

I had such high hopes for this film, I had it on a few minutes after it dropped on Netflix and I have to say I have not been this disappointed for a film in a long time.

There were cool aspects to the film don’t get me wrong, but my issue with it is that it does not capitalise on these in any meaningful way and instead uses them for style over substance thrills. A good example of what I am talking about is the central mythology of these immortal beings, there are so many questions, so many implications and the explanation we get is incredibly lacklustre. This is most likely set up for a sequel.

Moreover, I enjoy seeing Charlize Theron in these very action heavy roles, she has a great physicality and is a very believable ass kicker, however I would have liked something more from her performance here. Much like a lot of other things in this film, it doesn’t matter if the character has motivation or is interesting as long as they’re constantly doing and saying cool things. It gets boring and repetitive fast.

Overall, this film let me down in a lot of different ways, it has its moments, but is severely missing something.

Pros.

Theron’s fighting prowess

It has interesting ideas

Cons.

It never builds on or does anything interesting with these ideas

Theron’s character lacks any kind of personality

It gets boring and samey quickly

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke