Monster House: The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

A possessed house is eating people.

So this is a classic of yesteryear often appearing on a lot of most underrated animated films lists. For me growing up this was a regular staple, I watched this film a lot, and watching it now I still think it holds up.

Whilst the animation is quite ugly it never strays too far into the uncanny valley, so unlike something like the Jim Carry Christmas Carol you are never left feeling disconcerted. I would also argue that despite this animation issue the film manages to be quite deep and effecting.

The love story at the heart of the film, I won’t spoil anything, is well done and quite a novel take on that sort of storyline. It helps you to empathise with the house and to feel a lot of emotion at the end of the film. I wouldn’t say it is an emotional gut punch in the way some animated films are, but I would say there is more than enough to get you a little misty eyed.

Overall, an animated classic that you really should check out if you haven’t already.

3.5/5

Pros.

It has a beautiful love story

It is well written

It has engaging characters

The ending is bittersweet

Cons.

The animation is a little rough

The sidekick kid can be annoying

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That Christmas: An Epitaph To The Sorry State Of Modern Britain

Summary

Richard Curtis should retire and Netflix should issue a public apology.

Where to start with That Christmas? There are so many things wrong with it that I honestly don’t know.

First and foremost it doesn’t understand the UK, it was written by an Englishman and yet it depicts a south coastal city in the winter as having knee deep snow and having frozen ponds and bodies of water. For those of you not familiar with UK weather that is incredibly unlikely unless maybe you were at high altitude or it was particularly cold but otherwise it is nonsense.

Then you have all of your horrible and dating ‘modern day tropes’ one of the characters is really into militant veganism and so releases all of the Turkey’s to die or later be recaptured, another goes off on multiple climate change lectures and of course has all the answers despite being a child. Then there is the fetishisation of the NHS, our free public health service here in the UK if you’re unfamiliar, with their being a whole subplot about a single mother, voiced by Jodie Whittaker, being selfless and working on Christmas Day and needing to be treated like a queen when she returns home. It has the sickening and fake over sentimentality of when people were banging pots and pans in Tribute to the NHS during the pandemic. She is doing her job, and arguably being a bad parent, yet we are supposed to give her some applause? Of course every different race imaginable is depicted as it’s a Netflix film and they don’t seem to understand that not every part of every country is the same as what they see on the streets of LA, especially not the monied parts of southern England.

Finally, it struggles as a Christmas film without a message. All good Christmas films have a message as well as being entertaining, but what does this film have to say? Communities should come together? Christmas is about the people and not the presents? Old people caused global warming and so are evil? All of these things have been said before, more intelligently and with more depth, by trying so hard to appeal to a modern audience the film is left saying nothing.

Overall, Netflix spits in your face and tells you it is Christmas snow.

0.5/5

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

It doesn’t understand the UK at all

It is horribly dated

It is cringe

It feels the need to lecture

It has nothing new to say

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Mufasa: Disney Are Hunting Their IPs into Extinction

Summary

Disney continues to mine their IPs.

So this is a hard to like film, it has no reason to exist, it is based on a straight to video sequel/prequel that few watched and fewer still like, it has a lead cast solely based on nepotism and of course her dad may have abused an underage girl. All of these things create a negative air surrounding the film and try as you might it is hard to separate the two.

I decided to give the film the benefit of the doubt and attend, and honestly my major emotion with it was boredom. It is more of the same we saw in 2019 with the photo realistic CGI animation that lacks any of the warmth or the charm of the original animated film. I never saw the direct to video sequel/prequel that this film is based off of so I cannot say how well of a translation this is to that.

The new Lioness is of course a girl boss and she has to have no respect for her ancestors in anyway, as they are inherently stupid and male. Blue Ivy Carter, Beyonce and Jay Z’s nepo baby, doesn’t manage anything above a flat tone for her few scenes, but she didn’t get the role based on acting ability.

The actual ‘main’ story following Mufasa is about what you would expect nothing too shocking, and in that rests the issue with this film. It just doesn’t justify its existence.

Overall, a soulless, mirthless, waste of time.

1/5

Pros.

It is over quickly enough

Cons.

It is boring

It is nothing new

It has girl boss elements

It is a rehash and truly feels like an IP being mined

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A Christmas Carol: Jim Carry Does A Yorkshire Accent

Summary

A Christmas Carol is animated and Jim Carrey attempts to do a Yorkshire accent.

As a child this was my favourite version of the Dicken’s classic, however, now watching it all these years later I find it has rather lost its charm. In many senses this suffers from the same sort of problem as The Polar Express and that is to say that the animation leans a little too closely into the uncanny valley and comes off as quite menacing and upsetting at times.

I appreciated Carrey’s performance and thought it was a high point of the film for sure, even his questionable Yorkshire accent for the Ghost of Christmas Present. His Scrooge really does feel the part in a way that a lot of the other on screen depictions just don’t.

I would argue that the ending needs a bit of work as when the transformation happens and Scrooge becomes nice rather than this feeling happy and like a personality shifted, it comes across a little bit manic here and a little as though Scrooge is having a breakdown. I would have said a positive but more subdued performance would have worked better here than a louder and more over the top one.

Overall, though a novel idea to animated the classic Christmas tale it is not without its issues.

2.5/5

Pros.

Carrey

Some impressive visuals

It is entertaining

Cons.

The animation can be too uncanny valley

The ending is a little too manic

It has pacing issues

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Spellbound: Rachel Zegler Is Banned From The Press Tour

Summary

Kids learn about the wonders of divorce from an early age.

So the plot of this film is that a royal couple argue a lot and it turns them into monsters and only when they realise that they cannot be together any more can they turn back into their old selves. Is that message on the nose enough for you? Or does it need to reach into your living room and clip you around the ears?

Moreover, the film stars one of the most unlikeable people in Hollywood right now in Rachel Zegler, who is an overly opinionated young person who thinks she knows better than people twice her age. The question is am I talking about Zegler the person or her character in the film? It’s a trick question, the answer is both.

Furthermore, even with all of that aside the film has no charm, when you consider that the director is the same person who directed the original Shrek one of the most charming animated films ever, you are left to question what happened?

Overall, Skydance animation really need to overhaul their approach because so far they have been making dud after dud and surely they can’t afford to keep that going forever.

1/5

Pros.

It is short

Cons

Zegler

The message

It is generic

It is badly paced

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Moana Two: Sailing The Seas Of Mediocrity

Summary

We take to the seas once again, why? Well there isn’t really a reason for that.

This film is one of the worst written animated films I have seen in a long while. It is abundantly clear that Disney just think that kids and families will eat up any old slop so what’s the point trying to make it good.

Moreover, much like more soulful animated fare from this year like The Wild Robot there is no charm here. They try and have it be oh this is a big emotional journey and it wants to make you feel, but you don’t. It is hollow and soulless and at times feels like they have taken the carcass of the first film ripped any remaining meat from its withered bones and just thrown it out in cinemas.

I question narratively what is the point in this film it doesn’t really change the status quo all that much and it doesn’t develop the characters in any meaningful way, it just feels like you’re going through the motions repeating things you liked more in the previous film.

Overall, don’t waste your kids life on substandard animated films.

1/5

Pros.

The water looks pretty

Cons.

It is a cash grab

It adds nothing to the characters or the world

It has no charm

It is boring

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The Wild Robot: Rewilding In The Extreme

Summary

A robot lands on a planet and tries to help them complete tasks.

So on the surface of it this film doesn’t have much going for it, the premise is a little uninspired and doesn’t do much to get you to engage with the film, however, the film really manages to deliver on the emotional stakes.

I found the film to be quite emotionally impactful and I really ended up caring about the interpersonal relationships of the characters by the end of it. I would argue that this emotional resonance manages to balance out the lack of charm, as unlike other DreamWorks’ film such as Shrek this film didn’t have the same sort of personability or even humour.

I would say that Lupita Nyong’o was the right choice for the role of the robot as she doesn’t have to put in much in the way of emotion into her performance. A lack of emotion seems to be a hallmark of Nyong’o’s acting style.

Overall, an emotional rollercoaster of a film without much charm on the character side of things

3/5

Pros.

The emotion

The ending

The animation

Cons.

A lack of charm

Nyong’o

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Paddington In Peru: A Little Bear Goes A Long Way

Summary

Paddington, Ben Whishaw, goes to Peru.

Perhaps it was because I had been so looking forward to this film for month or because of how big a fan I am of the franchise that I ultimately left this film feeling disappointed.

Now this is still a very good film, it is as charming as ever and it is nice to see Paddington having a number of sweet moments with his aunt, they were genuinely very effecting and made me tear up. The Hugh Grant cameo at the end was also sublime.

I think my issues with the film came threefold, firstly I missed Sally Hawkins in the role of Mrs Brown, Emily Mortimer, was fine but she just didn’t match the same zany energy Hawkins had in the previous two films. Secondly this film missed out for not having Paul King directing it as compared to his style this film felt visually and cinematically a little flat, it felt far more paint by numbers in terms of gags and quirks than the previous two films.

Thirdly, I liked seeing more of Paddington’s back story be explored that was nice and see even smaller cub Paddington was lovely, however, I would have preferred a Windsor Gardens based adventure. That is not just because more of the classic Paddington gang could have been in it such as Peter Capaldi’s Mr Curry, but also because the new setting just didn’t add much to the film overall or give the adventure anymore of a flavour. I suppose what I am getting at is a normal Paddington story is wonderful and quirky and London based this felt like a generic adventure plot line grafted onto a Paddington script.

A final point before we close, Olivia Colman really needs to fire her agent. She has become typecast, and whilst she had a few funny moments and one great musical number here for the most part it is incredibly obvious that she is the villain and she is. All she can seemingly play is manic women often with an evil streak and that’s fine but her schtick is starting to wear out. She needs to play against type soon.

Overall, a good film in many ways but undeniably a step back from the previous two films.

4/5

Pros.

Aunt Lucy

Hugh Grant

More classic Paddington moments

The opening song

Cons.

Sally Hawkins looms large over the film as does Paul King

Olivia Colman is typecast

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Beetlejuice Beetlejuice: Aging Like Fine Wine

Summary

The Juice, Michael Keaton, may have aged, but much like wine it has got better not worse.

This film truly felt like a blast from the past, it doesn’t feel like we get films like this anymore, silly and fun with no mention to politics of moralising. It was nice to see the world that we all remember from the 80’s original further expanded, I thought that this film added a lot of much needed clarity and hopefully if we do get a 3^rd film it can do more of this.

The returning cast all gave great turns, and Jenna Ortega did feel like a natural addition to this world and the family, however, I would say her sub-plot was the weakest of the film. On that note some of the more interesting plot lines such as Beetlejuice’s wife, Monica Bellucci, do feel a bit short changed as they don’t go anywhere meaningful.

It is nice to see Tim Burton being Tim Burton again and I would say for fans of the director this is a must see return to form, it feels like everything he was doing in his pre 2012 career again rather than some of his more questionable recent turns.

Overall a fun film that won’t set the world on fire.

3/5

Pros.

It is fun

It explores the world

The returning cast

Cons.

Some weaker plot lines and some unfinished ones

It never hits the heights of the first

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Paranorman: We All Need To Listen More

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young boy, voiced by Kodi Smit-McPhee, can talk to dead people and needs to use his gift in order to save the town.

I think Laika is one of the best animation studios, mainly this is because they are not soulless CGI studios owned by massive studios like Disney, or Universal. Laika along with places like Aardman and Ghibli are some of the few truly original studios left and I think that is incredibly important. The studios talents are on full display here as we see a very gothic inspired world that also has a lot of call backs to classic Americana and the creature features of the 50s and 60s.

There is also something beautiful and timeless about the message of people hating things that scare them even if they pose no real threat to them. It makes the weak and confused message of a contemporary release like Inside Out 2 look so much worse by comparison. In my opinion that is what a lot of recent animated films are missing good central messages.

Overall, a sweet and seasonally appropriate film that is beautifully animated.

4/5

Pros.

The message

The animation

The characters

The world

Cons.

A few pacing issues

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