Spellbound: Rachel Zegler Is Banned From The Press Tour

Summary

Kids learn about the wonders of divorce from an early age.

So the plot of this film is that a royal couple argue a lot and it turns them into monsters and only when they realise that they cannot be together any more can they turn back into their old selves. Is that message on the nose enough for you? Or does it need to reach into your living room and clip you around the ears?

Moreover, the film stars one of the most unlikeable people in Hollywood right now in Rachel Zegler, who is an overly opinionated young person who thinks she knows better than people twice her age. The question is am I talking about Zegler the person or her character in the film? It’s a trick question, the answer is both.

Furthermore, even with all of that aside the film has no charm, when you consider that the director is the same person who directed the original Shrek one of the most charming animated films ever, you are left to question what happened?

Overall, Skydance animation really need to overhaul their approach because so far they have been making dud after dud and surely they can’t afford to keep that going forever.

1/5

Pros.

It is short

Cons

Zegler

The message

It is generic

It is badly paced

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Moana Two: Sailing The Seas Of Mediocrity

 Summary

We take to the seas once again, why? Well there isn’t really a reason for that.

This film is one of the worst written animated films I have seen in a long while. It is abundantly clear that Disney just think that kids and families will eat up any old slop so what’s the point trying to make it good.

Moreover, much like more soulful animated fare from this year like The Wild Robot there is no charm here. They try and have it be oh this is a big emotional journey and it wants to make you feel, but you don’t. It is hollow and soulless and at times feels like they have taken the carcass of the first film ripped any remaining meat from its withered bones and just thrown it out in cinemas.

I question narratively what is the point in this film it doesn’t really change the status quo all that much and it doesn’t develop the characters in any meaningful way, it just feels like you’re going through the motions repeating things you liked more in the previous film.

Overall, don’t waste your kids life on substandard animated films.

1/5

Pros.

The water looks pretty

Cons.

It is a cash grab

It adds nothing to the characters or the world

It has no charm

It is boring   

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The Wild Robot: Rewilding In The Extreme

Summary

A robot lands on a planet and tries to help them complete tasks.

So on the surface of it this film doesn’t have much going for it, the premise is a little uninspired and doesn’t do much to get you to engage with the film, however, the film really manages to deliver on the emotional stakes.

I found the film to be quite emotionally impactful and I really ended up caring about the interpersonal relationships of the characters by the end of it. I would argue that this emotional resonance manages to balance out the lack of charm, as unlike other DreamWorks’ film such as Shrek this film didn’t have the same sort of personability or even humour.

I would say that Lupita Nyong’o was the right choice for the role of the robot as she doesn’t have to put in much in the way of emotion into her performance. A lack of emotion seems to be a hallmark of Nyong’o’s acting style.

Overall, an emotional rollercoaster of a film without much charm on the character side of things

3/5

Pros.

The emotion

The ending

The animation

Cons.

A lack of charm

Nyong’o

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Paddington In Peru: A Little Bear Goes A Long Way

Summary

Paddington, Ben Whishaw, goes to Peru.

Perhaps it was because I had been so looking forward to this film for month or because of how big a fan I am of the franchise that I ultimately left this film feeling disappointed.

Now this is still a very good film, it is as charming as ever and it is nice to see Paddington having a number of sweet moments with his aunt, they were genuinely very effecting and made me tear up. The Hugh Grant cameo at the end was also sublime.

I think my issues with the film came threefold, firstly I missed Sally Hawkins in the role of Mrs Brown, Emily Mortimer, was fine but she just didn’t match the same zany energy Hawkins had in the previous two films. Secondly this film missed out for not having Paul King directing it as compared to his style this film felt visually and cinematically a little flat, it felt far more paint by numbers in terms of gags and quirks than the previous two films.

Thirdly, I liked seeing more of Paddington’s back story be explored that was nice and see even smaller cub Paddington was lovely, however, I would have preferred a Windsor Gardens based adventure. That is not just because more of the classic Paddington gang could have been in it such as Peter Capaldi’s Mr Curry, but also because the new setting just didn’t add much to the film overall or give the adventure anymore of a flavour. I suppose what I am getting at is a normal Paddington story is wonderful and quirky and London based this felt like a generic adventure plot line grafted onto a Paddington script.

A final point before we close, Olivia Colman really needs to fire her agent. She has become typecast, and whilst she had a few funny moments and one great musical number here for the most part it is incredibly obvious that she is the villain and she is. All she can seemingly play is manic women often with an evil streak and that’s fine but her schtick is starting to wear out. She needs to play against type soon.

Overall, a good film in many ways but undeniably a step back from the previous two films.

4/5

Pros.

Aunt Lucy

Hugh Grant

More classic Paddington moments

The opening song

Cons.

Sally Hawkins looms large over the film as does Paul King

Olivia Colman is typecast

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Beetlejuice Beetlejuice: Aging Like Fine Wine

Summary

The Juice, Michael Keaton, may have aged, but much like wine it has got better not worse.

This film truly felt like a blast from the past, it doesn’t feel like we get films like this anymore, silly and fun with no mention to politics of moralising. It was nice to see the world that we all remember from the 80’s original further expanded, I thought that this film added a lot of much needed clarity and hopefully if we do get a 3rd film it can do more of this.

The returning cast all gave great turns, and Jenna Ortega did feel like a natural addition to this world and the family, however, I would say her sub-plot was the weakest of the film. On that note some of the more interesting plot lines such as Beetlejuice’s wife, Monica Bellucci, do feel a bit short changed as they don’t go anywhere meaningful.

It is nice to see Tim Burton being Tim Burton again and I would say for fans of the director this is a must see return to form, it feels like everything he was doing in his pre 2012 career again rather than some of his more questionable recent turns.

Overall a fun film that won’t set the world on fire.

3/5

Pros.

It is fun

It explores the world

The returning cast

Cons.

Some weaker plot lines and some unfinished ones

It never hits the heights of the first

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Paranorman: We All Need To Listen More

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young boy, voiced by Kodi Smit-McPhee, can talk to dead people and needs to use his gift in order to save the town.

I think Laika is one of the best animation studios, mainly this is because they are not soulless CGI studios owned by massive studios like Disney, or Universal. Laika along with places like Aardman and Ghibli are some of the few truly original studios left and I think that is incredibly important. The studios talents are on full display here as we see a very gothic inspired world that also has a lot of call backs to classic Americana and the creature features of the 50s and 60s.

There is also something beautiful and timeless about the message of people hating things that scare them even if they pose no real threat to them. It makes the weak and confused message of a contemporary release like Inside Out 2 look so much worse by comparison. In my opinion that is what a lot of recent animated films are missing good central messages.

Overall, a sweet and seasonally appropriate film that is beautifully animated.

4/5

Pros.

The message

The animation

The characters

The world

Cons.

A few pacing issues

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Despicable Me 4: Everybody Wants To Rule The World

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Gru, voiced by Steve Carrell, is back and this time he’s on the run.

In my opinion this is easily the best animated film of the summer and a template for what animated films should be. We had some laughs, we had some emotions and we had a good sing song at the end. There was no heavy themes no need to talk about real world politics, and no literal embodiment of Joy crying twice as there was just no hope left. My biggest take away post seeing this film is that it is for kids and Inside Out 2is for white middle class liberal women who want to relive their girlhood whilst drinking a wine cooler.

Would I say this film was up there with the second and third Despicable Me films no probably not, but I would place it ahead of the first film. My primary reason for this is that I found the plot whilst entertaining to be a little light of stakes. Yes, Cockroach man, voiced by Will Ferrell, is funny but do I buy him as this big bad threat to Gru and his family not really. I also thought that though the idea of Gru taking an apprentice has some good legs, the Poppy, voiced by Joey King, storyline didn’t really explore it, instead wanting to be far more of a genetic Gru is blackmailed storyline. I suppose when they do a sequel if they bring her back it could lead to some interesting moments for the character.

As for the minions, the most important characters in a Despicable Me film I would say they have some stuff to do and do have a number of funny moments but lack as much screen time as you would want or expect. The super minions is an interesting idea but they don’t do much with it.

Overall, good but not the best in the series

4/5

Pros.

The sing song at the end

It is fun

It has some emotional moments

It is well paced

Cons.

Poppy needs to do more

We need more time with the minions

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Garfield The Movie: A Tale Of Two Kitties This Is Not

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Garfield, voiced by Chris Pratt, is back on the big screen.

So I am a big Garfield fan, I grew up watching the films and have watched every episode of Garfield and Friends many and I mean many times over. As such I was very excited for this film and it was the film I was the most excited to watch this year. Sadly, this wasn’t really a Garfield film.

Yes, you have John and Odie, him liking food and even his teddy, but really that is where it ends. Garfield may get into zany adventures but he is not some sort of heist/action character. Think about the films, in the first he took down someone who wanted to use Odie for evil, but he did it in a very Garfield way, lazy and sarcastic. In the second he saved a manor from being sold off, again he did this by teaching the animals about goofing off and eating. You see in both cases the problem is solved by him being himself, not him being something he isn’t. Here we see Garfield have to become a cat of action and learn to live in the real world and go on heists for some reason. Why is it that every film now must be about a heist.

There are some okay moments here don’t get me wrong I don’t think its awful, I just don’t think its Garfield.

The father and son stuff really for was whatever as we have seen it all before in other films, and you know exactly where each beat is going. They do nothing new with it.

My only positive for the film really is that the beginning stuff with kitten Garfield and how he first met John is adorable and heart-warming. That was a really good way to start the film it is just a shame the rest of it was so very eh.

Overall, fine but this is not a Garfield film.

2/5

Pros.

A few nice moments

A really strong beginning

Cons.

It isn’t Garfield

The father son stuff didn’t work

It was incredibly predictable

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Inside Out 2: The Increasingly Depressing Life Of Riley

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Riley, voiced by Kensington Tallman, is going through changes.

Please believe me that won’t be the only reference I make to Big Mouth during this review.

So  before we get into this I want to head off the complaint of ‘oh this film wasn’t for you’, films are made for everyone they are made for a mass audience, so yes it is. People of all ages can enjoy any film they want and take different things from it. My question is who was this film made for, because in the audience when I saw it there may have been one child but by and large it was an adult crowd.

Anyway moving along, I thought this was a decidedly average sort of film, it had a few good moments, namely whenever Pouchy showed up, and it had a number of odd choices and messages that I think ruined the film in a number of ways. Widely, both mostly cancel each other out, but I would say that this film is probably below average in terms of Pixar’s wider output.

I think the most baffling decision about this film is how it is not fun in anyway. Riley is going through a hard time and is sad in a lot of the film having to find a way to fit in, dealing with her friends leaving her, and the emotions are going on a quest to save the old pre-puberty Riley. However, as Big Mouth teaches us you cannot stop changes, you cannot go back to the happier and more innocent days of your childhood, and the emotions realise this over the course of the film with them having a heavy time of it. Joy, voiced by Amy Poehler, literally cries several times over the course of the film. A fun time at the movies for the whole family.

Speaking off Joy is quite irritating here, so the central conflict of the film happens as the new puberty emotions show up and take over with Joy and co sent away, she then goes on a quest to get the old Riley back. However, not only is this futile but has a terrible message, the film seems to suggest for the most part that one should not accept change and must always be a good person and be positive otherwise they are inherently bad. This makes little sense and lacks any idea of nuance. Though Anxiety, voiced by Maya Hawke, does go a little crazy by the end people need anxiety to get anywhere in life, having anxiety is normal. The film does try and have Joy learn a lesson and learn that she needs to be less of a control freak but it then rewards this by letting her be in charge again. Joy at times has a karen like mentality in how she treats almost all of the other emotions, which is to say badly.

Moreover, another thing I thought was weird was that the film spends a lot of time, and I mean a lot, showing how Riley wants to be a hockey player. Now this is normal however, whenever the film seems to think that Riley is being a bit too masculine, in a traditional gender norms sort of way, it has to go out of its way to make her goofy or silly. To me this is problematic, as what would be so wrong with her being tough and wanting to be a hockey player and doing it earnestly, why does she need to have all the goofy I’m a teen girl shenanigans unless they are worried about how she will present from a gender norms point of view. I could understand if these moments were supposed to be for comedy and that’s why she’s goofy but the whole rest of the film entirely neglects comedy for the most part so that doesn’t make sense. It felt very traditional in how it wanted to show gender norms and in some ways a bit patronising, as rather than let her be competitive and wanting to be the best hockey player there, it had to tie into a narrative of oh is she a good team player, what about her friends, oh it’s just girls having fun. One has to think if it was a male lead would it be the same or would they have allowed him to be competitive and want to be the best and not made it about him and his friends. In this sense the film can be seen to reinforce very traditional gender roles and be regressive towards female athletes.

Finally, and you know we couldn’t talk about current year Disney and not bring up the w word. For the most part this film is fairly devoid of the identity politics you would expect of current year Disney. However, there is one scene so cringe in this regard that I knew I had to include it in the review, during a part of the film where the emotions are going through a part of Riley’s mind showing dream jobs she had as a child one of them is a supreme court justice. This to me stood out because what kid is that politically aware, most kids want to be a dinosaur, a princess, an adventurer or some other sort of thing like that no kid has ever said they want to be a supreme court justice, I don’t believe that. The fact it was included in the film screams to me of the obsession that liberal women seem to have with RBG again not all liberal women but a lot of the Hollywood ones for sure. Look at the ham-fisted inclusion they did in Book Smart, again just because these Hollywood people are political they should not assume that teens or kids are, as most aren’t. It is just such an odd and out of touch sort of inclusion that it made me roll my eyes.

Overall, it is fine but not really an enjoyable trip to the cinema.

2/5

Pros.

Pouchy

It is not as woke as it could have been

Cons.

It does not let Riley be competitive or fully into hockey, it lessens it to not scare people off

The supreme court justice line

It is very sad

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Thelma The Unicorn: Netflix Just Doesn’t Care At This Point, They’ll Just Put Out Any Old Garbage

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A pony, voiced by Brittany Howard, decides to be a unicorn for reasons.

This is why Netflix will never be taken seriously as a film studio. This is why when the CEO is saying oh Barbie and Oppenheimer would have been just as big if they were released on Netflix no one believes him. Because for every good film Netflix puts out accidentally, there are 100 of these and films like Atlas, by that I mean utterly trash soulless pieces of garbage made as some sort of way to get a clever tax write off or maybe clean some cash, in my opinion.

So is there any heart or charm to this? Do you even need to ask me? Nope it is entirely soulless hollow 3D animation that looks just like everything else and that honestly for the amount of money Netflix likely put into this looks terrible.

The message of it is better to be yourself than be someone or something you are not is pretty on the nose here, I understand it is a kids film but you don’t have to treat the audience like they are dumb. Outside of that is there anything of good substance for your kids to mull over, or for you to mull over, not really there are some horrible references to things people over at Netflix think kids like, but it is all just the usual cringe.

Overall, if Netflix want to be taken seriously they need to cut production in half, they need to stop pumping out garbage all the time and take stock of what and who they have and try and retool anything they can’t cancel and cancel anything that is not locked down to try and turn these projects around. Netflix needs to start caring about quality over quantity.

1/5

Pros.

It is not offensively bad

Cons.

It is soulless

It is hollow

It is vapid

It message is obvious

It is ugly to look at

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