House: Never Let Your Kid Go In A Swimming Pool, There Might Be Vietnam Demons In It

House is a horror comedy film directed by Steve Miner. The plot sees well known author Roger Cobb (William Catt), move back to the house where his son disappeared some years prior. Why he has gone back he can’t quite say, but as he sets about writing his latest novel he starts to notice odd occurrences and soon he is drawn in to a battle with the paranormal.

Prior to watching this I was not aware that it is a comedy horror film, I thought it was just a straight horror, and was surprised by the number of goofy jokes, family friendly nature of the demons and the musical asides. However, with the new knowledge I have it makes sense.

The demons look quite unlike anything you will ever see, they are 80s in a way that you have to see to believe. Though they look almost comical at times yet they still manage to have a degree of fright to them, you never want to turn your back.

I enjoyed the Vietnam twist and thought the idea of having a solider or someone suffering from PTSD being more open to experiences with the supernatural was an interesting concept. The Vietnam sequences were all done quite well, and the conversation around whether Roger was crazy or not was fun to think about.

The one negative I would say for this film is that it is not scary in any way, and that is not because it is family friendly horror Goosebumps the tv show, or Ghostbusters 2 had moments in that frightened me. The reason I find it not scary is because of how over the top and frankly campy it is, especially with the creature design.

Overall, a good starter horror film with a neat concept, but not scary in any way.

Pros.

It is funny

It has an interesting concept

Catt

Cons.

It is more funny than Scary

It has pacing issues galore

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Nanny McPhee And The Big Bang: The Nanny You Need Is Nanny McPhee

Nanny McPhee And The Big Bang is a family fantasy film directed by Susanna White. The plot sees Nanny McPhee (Emma Thompson), return to help the Green Family, as matriarch Isabel (Maggie Gyllenhaal) is overwhelmed having to run the farm and run after her kids whilst her husband is away fighting in the war.

What a charming film this is. Whilst watching it I had a near permanent smile on my face. It is whimsically inventive fun and the fact it fully embraces its eccentricities is only a bonus in my book. Though the two are quite similar I found myself enjoying this film far more than the recent Mary Poppins film.

That was mainly due to the performance of Emma Thompson as the titular Nanny. Though the character seems tough and foreboding, Thompson puts such a warmth into the character that it is impossible not to love her by the end of the film. I also enjoyed the fact that the film did not go out of its way to explain who Nanny McPhee was, or how her magic work; it allows for imagination.

Moreover, and this may be the most key achievement of all the films victories, is that the children in this film are bearable. Usually, child actors ruin whatever film they are in, but here they are actually okay and because they aren’t so damn annoying you actually end up caring for them. A testament to the performances.

Overall, this is a delight for all the family.

Pros.

Thompson

Gyllenhaal

The children

Not explaining the powers

Maggie Smith

Cons.

The ending was a bit too overly sentimental

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Nativity 3: Taking Christmas Away From Kids, The Further Rise Of The Sociopath Known As Mr. Poppy

Nativity 3 is a British Christmas comedy film directed by Debbie Isitt. The barely comprehensible plot follows Jeremey Shepard (Martin Clunes), an Ofsted inspector who comes to St Bernadette’s. Whilst there he is knocked unconscious by a donkey and loses all of his memory, they then go to New York for a flash mob competition, or something, and Jeremey is also getting married and can’t remember his bride that is also going on.

It is fair to say just from that brief description that this film is far too busy. Not only that, but it is trying to be and do so many different things at once whilst failing at all of them. None of it really makes any sense, and the flash mob storyline feels incredibly dated and more than a little cringe.

Clunes can’t hold a candle to Freeman and Tennent who came before him and passes through the film with as much enthusiasm as someone who has just found a new parking ticket on their car. Mr Poppy (Marc Wootton), the bane of the previous films and easily the worst part of the series is even worse here. We get that he is supposed to be a man-child, but here he is straight up malicious blatantly not caring for others as long as he gets his way.

Whilst watching this film I had one thought in my mind, ‘how long is left’, that says all you need to know.

Overall, give this a wide birth.

Pros.

It makes good background noise

Cons.

It is not funny

It is not charming

The story is incomprehensible and cringe

Mr Poppy might be my most loathed cinematic character

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Nutcracker And The Four Realms: Stay In The Uncanny Valley, Please

The Nutcracker And The Four Realms is a fantasy adventure film directed by Lasse Hallstrom and Joe Johnson. The plot sees troubled outsider Clara (Mackenzie Foy), venture into a strange world in search of a key to one of her late mother’s possessions.

This film is bizarre, it is like it too a good look at Alice In Wonderland and decided to copy it but make it even more convoluted and odd. There is an underlying sinisterness to this world and this film in generally that I can’t quite put my finger on, but there is definitely something off about it.

The CGI does not help the film at all, it ends up looking all a bit too obviously fake and the uncanniness of it all becomes jarring and off-putting the more you are exposed to it.

The only positive I have for the film is that its basic premise and world feel interesting, like there is a fascinating tale to tell there. However, the film as a whole fails to delivery on this and instead churns out yet another mindless, soulless, big-screen CGI fest. The acting is likewise as wooden, with several big-name actors clearly only here for the money.

The big third act twist where one of the key characters turns out to be evil is one of the most obvious reveals I have ever seen in all my years watching films, and I understand the audience for this would be mostly children but come on Disney have some respect for your audience. They are not all mindless and as the final numbers show they refuse to eat your off brand, out of date, cliché riddled, fantasy slop anymore. Do better!

Overall, though there is a sliver of promise here, it is quickly crushed under a mountain of awful CGI, pay check performances and disturbing feeling. Utter trash.

Pros.

There is some promise

It is watchable

Cons.

There is something wrong with it

The CGI is overused and off-putting

The performances are awful

The plot assumes that the audience are brain dead

The twist

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Playing With Fire: John Cena Learns To Cry

Playing With Fire is a family comedy film directed by Andy Fickman. The plot sees a group of smoke dodgers look after three children for a few days and finding out that they are more work than they bargained for.

Will this film win awards? No it won’t. Will it be the best film you will see all year? No again. Will it make you smile? Yes, it will and is that not the most important thing?

I put this film on looking for some wholesome entertainment and I found just that. The comedy is quite good, there are a few laugh inducing moments throughout the film, but mainly you find yourself just smiling at the wholesome fun of it. For me, the slapstick comedy of the film, mainly done by John Cena (who is also the lead), did not really work. It felt juvenile and even then quite base, on the whole Keegan-Michael Key and John Leguizamo steal the show comedically.

The plot was nothing new, it was all fairly standard the twist about the kids is fairly obvious and the decision at the end is signposted from the start of the film, so neither feel surprising. If you are looking for a strong plot then this is not the film for you, it took things that you have seen before and did then again well enough to be entertaining.

I enjoyed the wholesomeness of this film and watching it defiantly improved my mood.

Overall, far from perfect, but it will entertain you and make you smile

Pros.

The comedy

The wholesomeness

The ending is sweet

Cons.

The plot is fairly been there done that and the plot twists and turns are obvious

The slapstick doesn’t work and feels too dumb

Cena is a weak lead

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

SpongeBob SquarePants, Sponge On The Run: Another Feather In Paramount’s Cap

SpongeBob SquarePants The Movie: Sponge On The Run is an animated family film directed by Tim Hill. The plot sees SpongeBob’s (Tom Kenny), beloved pet snail Gary be snailnapped. As such SpongeBob and Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke), must set out on a quest to get him back.

I enjoyed this film immensely, far more than I thought I would. I have not seen SpongeBob in years, but I did use to like it when I was a teen.

My one complaint of this film would be that the animation is ugly, and quite jarring if you go in expecting the old-style SpongeBob animation like I did. The issue with the animation was that it looked too fake, too CGI, and when they added in real world live action elements it became trapped in the uncanny valley.

I really enjoyed the story of the film. I liked the feeling of finality it had to it, I know there is plenty more SpongeBob content on the way, but it was still nice. Seeing all of SpongeBob’s friends talking about how much he meant to them was a touching moment, and the reveals of how they all met was a good pay off for long-time fans.

The highlight of the film for me was the humour and the cameos. The humour often skewed older, a lot of the jokes and references I feel kids off today would not understand, but they made me laugh. I have always enjoyed the absurdist nature of SpongeBob as a show. Furthermore the cameos were terrific though only brief, Danny Trejo leaves a strong impression as El Diablo and Snoop Dogg has a nice little musical number that livens up the first act; of course Keanu Reeves as Sage is magnificent, but that goes without saying at this point.

Overall, this feels like a love letter to the show itself, it feels like it is done with care, it will make you laugh, and the ending will make you cry. Definitely one of the better SpongeBob films.

Pros.

The tribute to Stephen Hillenberg

The trial scene

Matt Berry

The humour

The cameos

Cons.

The animation is horrendous

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Wolfwalkers: Never Cage Something That Is Wild

Wolfwalkers is an animated fantasy film directed by Tomm Moore and Ross Stewart. The plot sees a girl and her father move to an Irish hamlet in the 1600’s to kill wolves and to start a new life. However said girl Robyn (Honour Kneafsey), finds that there is more to the wolves than any of the towns people know and that the pack is being controlled by a mother daughter Wolfwalker duo, who she soon makes friends with.

This film is a heartbreaker, the plot won’t leave a dry line in the house. It has so many layers to it many of them deeply sad it makes for a very melancholic watch. The later scenes between Robyn and her Dad (Sean Bean), are particularly hard to watch, when he keeps making the situation worse and worse before he realises the error of his ways.

I enjoyed the friendship between Robyn and Mebh ‘Og Mac Tire (Eva Whittaker), I thought it was nice to see their friendship develop over the course of the film and to watch them grow up during such a difficult time period, I’m sure there was a metaphor in there somewhere. I thought this part of the story and its innocence nicely contrasted with the more adult moments.

Finally, I thought it was nice to see a return to 2D animation. It has been too long, and it looked really beautiful throughout, you could tell a lot of work had gone into it and it really helped the film to standout amongst the 2020 animation landscape.

Overall, a beautifully thoughtful and heart breakingly sad animated film that you owe it to yourself to see.

Pros.

A return to 2D animation

The friendship between the two girls

The emotional beats

The father daughter relationship

The look at Irish/Celtic mythology

Cons.

It is desperately sad

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Over The Moon: Emotionally Prepare Yourself For This One

Over The Moon is an animated fantasy film directed by Glen Keane. The plot sees Fei Fei (Cathy Ang), struggle with her father moving on after the death of her mum, so she ventures to the moon to prove that love is eternal and forever, based on the notion of the Chinese Folktale of the moon goddess and her lost love.

Comparing this to Pearl Studios other recent feature Abominable, this is the worse of the two. My main complaint of the film is that it is just too sad, it is depressing especially for a kid’s film and I left it feeling bummed out. I understand a lot of kid’s films deal with dark themes but this one fails to balance the tone; the songs and the bright colourful characters aren’t enough.

That said the songs are probably the best part of this film, moon goddess Chang’e (Phillipa Soo), has a number of great songs that are really fun and lively; and also impossible not to dance along to. Chang’e is probably the best of the supporting cast, who are mostly wasted in forgettable minor roles. This film has people like Sandra O, Ken Jeong and John Cho in it, but it barely uses them.

Also there is something about the animation style that I just don’t like, I think the character models look a bit too CGI, a bit too clean, there is something quite uncanny about them that I found disconcerting over time.

Overall, quite an emotional story that will connect with some more than other, though it doesn’t balance its tone and ends up feeling depressing. Likewise it wastes its talented cast and has some iffy animation.

Pros.

The songs

Chang’e/ Philippa Soo

Trying to have a mature conversation in a kid’s film

Cons.

The animation is off

It is depressing

It wastes its talented cast

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Witches (2020): Suitable For Kids?

The Witches (2020) is a family fantasy horror film directed by Robert Zemeckis. The plot follows a young boy (Jahzir Kadeem Bruno), who discovers that Witches are very real after he and his Grandmother (Octavia Spenser), become targets.

This is not like the other film version in a number of ways, there is a clear effort to set this one apart from the other adaption as well as the book version, there is a lot of added material that is not in the book or other film. While not all of this new stuff works, I am glad they added new scenes and plot lines as it allows this film to feel like it stands on its own rather than just being another remake.

There are also a lot of things in this film that I question whether they are appropriate for a children’s film. There are mentions to things like suicide, which is used as a sort of joke, as well as the arms scene which I would specifically draw light to. The arms scene is actually quite scary, there is something about the uncanny valley nature of the scene that adds to it and makes it scarier, it looks like something out of the recent IT films only better done.

I didn’t like the ending, I thought having them all stay mice doesn’t really work and pushes the film into a ridiculous territory that makes it end on more of a jokey note, which cheapens the entire experience.

Octavia Spenser is terrific and makes the film as well.

Pros.

Spenser

The new additions

The arms scenes/ some genuine scares

Cons.

Not really suitable for kids

The ending is laughably bad

The supporting cast, namely Tucci is given nothing to do.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Casper: Addams Family Shared Universe?

Casper is a fantasy family comedy film directed by Brad Silberling, based on the Harvey Comics character of the same name. The plot sees single father James Harvey (Bill Pullman), and his daughter Kat (Christina Ricci), move into an old mansion only to find that it is full on ghosts, some more friendly than others.

This film feels like a good accompaniment to Ricci’s Addams Family films, a natural triple bill if ever you were so inclined. Stylistically, again quite similar.

I enjoyed the friendship between Casper (Malachi Pearson), and Kat I found it to be sweet and deeply endearing, likewise when they shared that dance together at the end of the film, I found that to be a cheer worthy moment. I think the biggest asset of this film is its hopeful tone, it really makes it a joy to watch.

As far as child actors go, I think Ricci gives a good performance, you buy her as the sad little girl. Bill Pullman is very believable as the failing single father who is in mourning but is trying to keep things together for his daughter’s sake, I enjoyed his arc and thought his reunion with his dead wife was a sweet moment.

Overall, if you don’t mind the dated effects, which to me added to the charm, this is quite a sweet endearing seasonal watch.

Pros.

Pullman

The emotional character works

The friendship between Casper and Kat

Cons.

It has some pacing issues

The non-Casper ghosts are overplayed

3/5

Reviewed by Luke