A Real Life: This Is Why Folk Hate Americans Abroad

A guided tour of Poland takes a turn for the emotional.

This was a perfectly fine film, but I am left wondering how it was nominated for awards. In my estimation the only reason this got nominated for anything is because the awarding bodies, acutely aware that they have been demonising jews and Israel for the year need to do something to cover themselves in the face of antisemitism accusations, so they do this: much as a racist may remind you they have a black friend.

I thought narratively it was no great shake due to the fact that the reveal was obvious. We have seen the formula of successful friend of family member, here Eisenberg, meets with less successful or wash out friend of family member, here Culkin, for the latter to turn out to be on the verge of suicide or some form of trauma and for the former then have to give them a reason to live again. Film’s as different to this as The World’s End did this narrative.

Moreover, Culkin’s character which was supposed to be sympathetic just wasn’t. He seemed to be an awful person with few redeeming qualities, a perfect example of this is when he berates the guide for giving information. The others or his tour may well have wanted to hear it but because he didn’t he behaves unilaterally. The fact they have a scene later when the tour guide thanks him makes it all the worse, as this scene feels like it is there in order to excuse the character rather than how people would actually behave. There are not enough scenes where you feel warmth towards his character to make you feel anything when the truth about his trauma comes out.

Overall, I am a fan of Eisenburg and will always show up to his projects, however, the writing in this one was a little cliched and weak.

2.5/5

Pros.

There are some fun moments

It does have an emotional core, but that doesn’t make you empathise with the characters

The central duo have a believable familial friendship

Cons.

Culkin’s character is insufferable

The reveal is obvious

The supporting cast are wasted

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Shogun Season One Overview: The Best Series Of The Year

Summary

A series about an Englishman, Cosmo Jarvis’ trip to feudal Japan.

I think this was one of the strongest series of the year, not just because it was well done but also because it was so refreshing. We have been crying out for more Samurai fare for a while, there are some films and series here and there, but by and large the sub-genre at least from a western perspective has been dry for a while. As such this arrived at just the right time.

What I appreciate about this show is that it is both a slow burn and has soap opera like elements but it doesn’t effect the quality of the show. There is enough happening within an episode to make the slower pace and the world building feel rich and meaningful rather than tedious. Moreover, there is enough action and character’s doing things to make the interpersonal soap opera stuff seem few and far between.

I think the characters are all written well and that the story goes to interesting places, I would like to see the war between the clans more fully realised but I suppose that will be something to consider in the next season.

Overall, definitely one of the best shows of the year.

4/5

Pros.

The setting and the world

It feels fresh

It is interesting

It has great characters

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Baby Girl: Those Nichole Kidman AMC Adverts Have Changed Quite A Bit.

Summary

Hold onto your casserole dishes we get yet another erotic thriller for mothers.

Very much like the Grey films this film seeks to fetishize s and m and puts forward the idea of how hot it is for the boss women to be made to bark like a dog for a younger man. Is this actually titillating for anyone, remember folks when erotic thrillers would just be normal fairly vanilla sex but the passion of it is what gave it the heat, now you have stuff like this done for shock value. I am no prude but I do consider what sort of things are being shown as healthy here, and don’t think they are in fact that.

I find the graphic scenes of Nicole Kidman masturbating to not be shocking, to not be boundary pushing as oh we have never had a scene of a woman masturbating before, glass sealing shattered as we have, but instead rather to be desperate. These sort of scenes are not put in to make some bold comment on female sexuality, this comment has already been more articulately made, they are done for shock value and to be like ‘oh look at how graphic we made it that’s sexy right?’ It isn’t it is just desperate.

If Miss Kidman thinks this will make her anymore relevant or hey even get her some awards love it won’t. It will be forgotten about in about 5 minutes and will only live on in the mind of some old neglected housewife who wants it to happen to her.

Overall, a desperate sad attempt at eroticism.

1/5

Pros.

Old unsatisfied housewives might like it

Cons

It is cringe

It is desperate

It legitimising some morally bad things

Kidman is miscast

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Night Bitch: Amy Adams Grows A Tail

Summary

A film about a mother, Amy Adams, who can transform into a dog.

So this film isn’t bad, but I do question who it was for? It is not a fantasy film, nor is it a horror film and I certainly wouldn’t call it a comedy, it is an odd sort of a film that will find it hard to find an audience. It is a drama film about a stay at home mother who is so bored and trapped that to escape from her tedium she transforms into a dog at night to be free. It is full of the angst of being a mother that is now present in a lot of films on the topic, as the mother character wallows in their lack of freedom and how their life was better before they had the kid, mixed with relationship drama and sniping.

Scoot McNairy is quicky building himself a reputation as the weedy sort of husband that is a pushover and basically a man child, he is the source of a lot of the conflict in the film as he is not a great father. The final realisation of his character being that he needs to do more and take over more parenting responsibilities is such an obvious one you question why he didn’t already know it at the start of the film as it is basic information any adult should know.

I would argue that Adams natural charisma is the only thing holding this film together and that with a weaker actor it would fall apart.

Overall, this is an odd film and not what a lot of people would want or expect, Adams is strong but the films platitudes on life and motherhood are all a good few years out of date.

2.5/5

Pros.

Adams

It has a few laughs

It is paced reasonably well

Cons.

It has nothing fresh to say about motherhood

It is not the genre it is sold as, this is a drama film and nothing else

The relationship drama is overplayed

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Mary: Jesus Who?

Summary

Mary, Noa Cohen, yes that Mary is given the girl boss treatment.

So turns out the Angel Garbriel also came to prophesied the birth of Mary as well, turns out Jesus wasn’t so special after all, and that Mary was probably more important than Jesus because of her female power to birth him. I am woman hear me roar, who cares if Jesus died for our sins and was the Son of God, if you believe in that, he was a male and therefore no longer worth being considered special. His privilege has been checked.

There was just no need for this film, I don’t know who it was for? Religious folks are going to hate it as it is the most bastardised version of the Nativity story I have seen recently, the anti-western, anti-Semitic, pro-Palestine/ pro-Hamas folks don’t like it, as they cast an Israeli in the lead role. General audiences don’t care about a long drawn out biblical epic, look at Exodus. It seems to be more of Netflix looking for a reason to burn money.

Overall, if you want festive religious viewing you would be better served watching almost anything else. This is a bible epic designed to make everyone angry.

0.5/5

Pros.

You get a few chuckles out of how bad it is

Cons.

The girl boss stuff

They feel the need to update a story rather than just do something new and fresh

No one will like it

It is too long

It is poorly acted

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The Holdovers: Away At Christmas

Summary

Paul Giamatti plays a man obsessed with ancient Rome and who gets stuck watching some private school kids over Christmas.

Honestly I think this film was massively overrated. I saw why it won academy awards it feels like the sort of film that would win them, but should it have? For example, though Da’Vine Joy Randolph won for her role as a grieving mother, the only performance that stirred me towards feelings any kind of emotion was Giamatti. This final scene where his life has basically imploded is far more emotional that Randolph’s character who mopes and occasionally makes a sassy comment.

I think in many ways like a Pixar film this film was trying to manipulate you with its arc into feeling something into caring, all films do this to a degree, but when the kids father was in an asylum it was clear the film wanted to hit you in the feels. The issue with this artificial approach of course is that it feels disingenuous, it doesn’t feel real or authentic and as such it seems shallow within its emotional resonance.

Overall, a sad film and one that is not all that impressive.

2/5

Pros.

Giamatti

The score is fantastic

Cons.

It is emotionally manipulative in an obvious way

It is badly paced

It is overhyped

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Woman Of The Hour: Anna Kendrick Needs Her Ego Stroking

Summary

Netflix indulges yet another narcissist.

This time it is Anna Kendrick who wants to direct herself in a film she thinks is going to raise awareness about serial killers.

So once again quality is sacrificed so that Netflix can stroke a famous person’s ego. I don’t know who told Kendrick that she was a good director but whoever it was wasn’t a true friend as true friends don’t lie.

You get a fairly standard serial killer story which might entertain you if you are in the mood for some low brow Netflix trash that lacks any kind of substance. Kendrick doing press for this tried to say that the film had all these deep things to say about society, it really doesn’t in anyway.

I found the acting to feel very much like acting and the film and a dislikable almost self-aware like quality to it with it feeling almost like Kendrick was looking into the camera a few times, if this is her directorial style I don’t like it.

Overall, Netflix needs to start putting quality first.

2/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It is short

Cons.

Kendrick is a bad director

The performances are bad

It lacks any originality

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Timestalker: One Of The Most Unlikable Characters In Cinema History

Summary

A woman, Alice Lowe, reincarnates over and over again chasing after a guy who doesn’t like her back.

This film was a vanity project much like Woman of the Year, review coming soon. Lowe’s other films have also drawn from her own life, but here not only is she actor and star but the whole film is an effort in narcissism. This is textual meaning that in the plot of the film the central character and her desire is the plot of the film, there is nothing more to it than that, there is no character growth, she likes the guy then eventually realises he will never be the one for her but then ends the film with him liking her causing a character development regression and undoing the growth.

To make matters worse the film has nothing to say, it is about a thin as a McDonalds paper bag, it is shallow and the character unlikable. You may root or care for her if she wasn’t so self-involved yet she is so you don’t. The film borrows a lot from the dark comedies of Ben Wheatley yet unlike his work in say Sightseers for example, there is no subtext here no broad commentary and crucially no jokes.

I don’t think I laughed once during the entirety of the film, and I would say that no one else in the entire cinema did, but then no one else was there.

Overall, I think it is sad that films like this get made because in British circles Lowe is a minor name, a better film that could have made more and been more highly praised could have been made with this money.

1/5

Pros.

It is relatively short

Cons.

It isn’t funny

It is boring

It has nothing to say

Lowe isn’t very good in it

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Megalopolis: At Least Aubrey Plaza Seems To Be Having Fun

Summary

An old man believes his own hype and makes a mess he calls art.

For all of you who may defend this film and call it art don’t bother. Too often these days if a film flops or is a trainwreck there will be a small group of people, be they political bed fellows of the film’s message or just those wanting to seem cool by liking something everyone else doesn’t.

The issue with films like this is that it makes studios more hesitant to take chances on other big budget films in the future that might be a bit more risky and for what an old man’s vanity. The writing was on the wall for this film when it struggled to get distribution plus the fact thar Coppola’s last few films have been pretty bad.

Rather unsurprisingly this is a mess, it has neither fully formed characters or anything you could call a plot, it is just a series of people and things loosely tied together. The narrative post release is that it is art and supposed to be hard to understand and to figure out, but that just sounds like an excuse to be trash to me.

Overall, Coppola should have stuck to making wine.

0.5/5

Pros.

It is funny bad at times

Cons.

It makes no sense

It has no story

The cast are wasted

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My Old Ass: A Narcissistic Fantasy

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young woman, Meghan Park, comes off age whilst getting phone calls from her older self, Aubery Plaza.

This film was made for a specific type of person, who that is I don’t know. It is not funny and has a really depressing ending, if that sounds like your idea of a good time head on down.

It feels like it is trying to go for the Safety Not Guaranteed sort of feel the oddball comedy vibe, it has a quirky family it has some out their elements to try and drive things along, yet it never actually hits it in a satisfying way.

There is also rather a lot of quite graphic lesbian scenes, which get to a point wherein you question how needed they were for the plot. They could have lent in for a kiss and then moved on, it does feel a little over the top. One cannot hope but feel like if this was done by a male director the film would have got far more criticism for it.

Plaza is as good as ever, the younger cast mostly are irritating as they say meaningless gen z buzz words like ‘omg the world is literally on fire right now’ and oh such garbage, also what is there solution to the world being in such a bad spot is it to help someone or volunteer for a charity nope its to get high and go on their phones. Also the focus placed on the main characters sexuality also felt incredibly modern day, so she’s bi big whoop, we really don’t need the whole big subplot of oh but she’s never liked boys before, when she no doubt had crushes before as they say later in the film she was into Biber.

Overall, maybe one to give a miss

2/5

Pros.

Plaza

A few good laughs

Cons.

It is tonally all over the place

The younger characters are annoying

It is depressing

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