Between The Temples: Mommy Issues

Summary

Jason Schwartzman has the hots for an old lady, Carol Kane.

Even after watching this film and having a few days to think about it I don’t know how I feel.

This is a strange and often uncomfortable sort of film and one that I don’t think I would ever watch again. Below are a few examples of genuine scenes from the film for you to see for yourself.

A scene in which a young woman reads out dirty voice messages to Schwartzman’s character whilst pretending to be his dead wife, he cries and they have sex.

A scene in which Schwartzman’s character professes his love for the old lady whilst his family scream about how she has groomed him, yet then cheer him on as he rushes after her.

A scene in which Schwartzman’s parents try and close the door on the old lady but she won’t leave.

I like cringe and uncomfortable comedy as much as the next fellow, however, I cringed so bad in the cinema watching this that I physically balled up. I would say this went into the bad realm of cringe.

The love story of the film if you can call it that is messed up, I guess that’s the point, and leaves more questions than answers at the end. However, what it does leave you with is a feeling of incompleteness as you don’t understand how Kane’s character feels about the lead.

The main thing I will give this film props for is how Jewish it is and how it focuses heavily on Jewish characters, which in the contemporary media and political landscape is risky, I am glad this film won’t be silenced by the sea of antisemitism.

Overall, an odd and uncomfortable film

2/5

Pros.

It is watchable and some of the cringe comedy works

It is unashamedly Jewish

Cons.

It is too cringe at times

The ending doesn’t feel satisfying

It has pacing issues

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I Saw The TV Glow: A Horrifying Voyage Of Mental Illness

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A couple of people begin to believe that they are characters in a TV show.

So where to begin with this film, I suppose we should begin as we mean to continue and in that vein I will open by saying it is a horrible film.

Not only is it the same art house nonsense you would expect, with symbolism, a story that makes no sense, stunted dialogue and more but it also boasts yet another terrible performance from Justice Smith. Smith really is having a bad 2024 starring in this and the Magical Society, the guy can’t seem to catch a break.

The plot is basically around two mentally ill people who fully devolve into their mental illness and begin to harm themselves, yet it is all okay as their delusions are real so when they mutilate themselves its not real, or is it? On top of all that you have them escaping into this TV show as they are actually the characters from that, or so they believe, and Smith is actually a girl, yet even in the world of fiction they are being horribly tortured by a sadistic man who lives in the moon.

If all that sounds a bit much there is also a lot of allegories for trans people and the trans experience during the film and it is supposed to have some sort of political message. However, it just seems like two people desperately in need of help both physical and psychological, hurting themselves and being tortured. The message seems to be lost along the way, unless that is it.

I have watched a lot of hard to watch horror films in my time, meaning both hard to watch as in they make no narrative sense, and hard to watch in terms of being unpleasant but I must say this has taken the cake.

Overall, don’t believe all the 4/5 star reviews saying it is a masterpiece as it reflects a certain type of politics, it is actually a horrible nasty little film that makes no sense and is a sickening experience to watch, especially the latter torture scenes.

0/5

Pros.

None

Cons.

It is horrible to watch

The message, whatever it is, is lost

The performances are bad

The writing is stunted

The ending is terrible

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Kinds of Kindness: The Wrong Kind Of Experiment

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A trilogy of tales that have no business being together.

I have been a fan of this director for a long time, the Lobster, the Favourite and Poor Things are all terrific films, this however, is a failed experiment. It is a film that wants to be experimental, that wants to challenge audiences, it will not be what you’re expecting it to be, and that is not a bad thing if it works, but it just doesn’t.

We are presented with three tales, one of which is bad one, of which has somewhat redeeming elements but is mostly bad, and one that works well. Sadly the good segment the 2nd segment is not the front or the end of the trilogy but rather smack dab in the middle meaning you don’t get the satisfying good start to the feature nor the big finish to salvage a mixed product, you start the film feeling disappointed and you end the film feeling disappointed.

Now to get into why the segments work or don’t work, crucially comes down to execution. The first segment is about power and control and what we’ll do to have stability in our lives yet the segment doesn’t go far enough to demonstrate this and is far too ambiguous in its ending. Secondly, we get a segment about loved ones and what we would do to have one that we thought lost back, this segment works because the concept is strong enough that it makes up for poor execution whereas the other two can’t be saved like this. The idea of the double is a horror mainstay and it is so for a reason, it is effective. Thirdly, we get a segment about religion and cults which could be interesting there is enough new, novel and intriguing ideas here to create a feature film of its own, however the film squanders the time it has in this segment, it does silly things like have Emma Stone do a TikTok dance when we could be giving the characters a satisfying ending.

In a sense this film reads like someone taking a victory lap not making a film for a mass market audience, but rather making it for themselves and assuming they are enough of a name to draw in audiences.

Overall, a film with a strong series of premises but one that can’t execute on most of them.

2.5/5

Some funny moments

The second segment works

It has a lot of good ideas

Cons.

The first and third segment don’t come together

It is too experimental

The Tik Tok dance

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Everybody Dance

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Children with different disabilities find joy in the art off ballet.

This film is incredibly important as it highlights the power art and dance has to enrich people’s lives. The subjects of this documentary are never presented as victims rather as people with a passion. It’s incredibly important within the narrative of this film that the people featured are never defined by their disabilities but rather their drive to and determination to be great at ballet.

I found this feature to be charming in many ways, it is a very affable tale and it is easy to like the subjects as their enthusiasm for the art of ballet is very palpable. Before watching this I had never been very into ballet but after watching it I am certainly more interested than I was before.

I think what I like most about this film is that it shows off how film as a medium can be used to show the happiness and joy that exists all around us everyday in the world, but that we might not see as we are too busy living our lives and doom scrolling.

Overall, a must see.

5/5

Pros.

It is lovely

It is uplifting

It makes you passionate for ballet

It is the feel good sort of thing you need to see to be reminded of the good in humanity

It never treats its subjects as victim but rather as people

Cons.

None

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The Beast: Love Is An Often Remembered Thing

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A love story is tested against the ages.

This film is not going to be what people expect, in one sense it is a science fiction dystopian film and in another it is a romantic tragedy. The idea of the romance that is central to this film is one that is both engaging, but also deeply unsettling, one could view this film as a horror quite easily.

Lea Seydoux gives a terrific performance as a woman who wants love but can’t remember what it is and is haunted by that fact, she obsesses over prophecy when it is her own memory she’s trying to regain. George Mackay gives an often disturbing performance whilst maintaining a great deal of screen chemistry with Seydoux. If I had to single one out for praise it would be Seydoux she is the anchor of the film.

It is worth saying that this film is not for everyone it is long, bilingual, and it deals with a lot of heavy and complex themes and subject matters. At close to 2 1/2 hours the film can at times suffer from significant pacing issues, however in my opinion these issues are made-up for by the engaging plot which is easily one of the most intellectually stimulating of recent memory.

The ending of the film perfectly subverts expectations, with the audience being totally in the dark as to where the film will leave off. I found the ending both tragically comedic and also strangely affecting.

Overall, a film that will not be to everyone’s taste but one that is well worth the watch if you are a fan of thinking science fiction. This is not for the faint of heart.

Pros.

The themes and ideas explored

The performances

The ending

The dark comedy of it all

Cons.

Pacing issues

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I.S.S: For All The Insomniacs Out There.

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Life in space.

This was one of the recent films that just came and went, did you even know it existed before this review? Maybe you did maybe you didn’t.

For me catching this film on streaming I just think to myself that when Hollywood wonders why no one is going to the cinema anymore it is because of films like this. Boring, forgettable films that have similar premises to others that have come out in the not too distant past and which you remember more fondly than this.

Honestly even after watching this mere hours ago I can barely remember any of the main story points about it, that is how much it stays in the mind. It is just deeply forgettable.

In terms of the acting they have a pretty mixed bag of a cast mostly new people who have yet to cut their teeth or older TV guys still trying to become leading men in actually big films. They are fine if forgettable.

Overall, forgettable dross that will clog up the Netflix algorithm.

1.5/5

Pros.

It is a good sleep aid

It has some unintentional laughs

Cons

It is unoriginal

The cast do nothing

It is boring

It is too self-serious

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The Hate U Give: A Dumb Persons Response To A Serious Issue

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Some teens experience police brutality.

This is one of the most whiney films I have ever watched, I understand that these characters go through a really awful experience yet the film doesn’t have anything new to say about this problem in American society, nor does it want to unpack the emotional toll of it, but rather than whine and appear virtuous whilst doing the bare minimum.

There was a person somewhere behind the scenes being like oh my film is needed it’s necessary it is doing something to change the world, but none of those things are true. This is as surface level as it gets, more over the message of the film is just asinine, police brutality is wrong, did anyone not already know that.

This film feels like it was made as the creatives thought audiences were dumb and needed to be told how to think, but once again everyone already knew what this film had to say.

Amandla Stenberg is also wooden as hell.

Overall, a shallow insipid mess that feels the need to lecture yet has nothing new to say.

1/5

Pros.

It had one good song in its soundtrack

Cons.

It is puddle deep

Stenberg is awful

It is badly paced

It feels like its constantly preaching

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Lime and Vinegar

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two women, Yiseth Brendlinger and Dalma Llinas, come to clean a house and end up getting stuck there.

A lot of drama can be had from a film where characters are trapped in an enclosed space and are just forced to talk. In many senses far more can happen than in even the biggest superhero film and it is in that sense that this film really crosses between being at times a more light hearted affair and something more akin to a drama.

Both of the leading ladies do a terrific job in making you see them as real people, who are relatable and who you can see yourself in. It could be argued that with lesser actors this film would be less engaging as a lot hangs on their conversations and their chemistry with each other in order to make the film interesting, however, both actors are more than capable here and they really manage to enhance the film.

I found this film able to make me both laugh and feel which is a hard task, as to do one is easier but to do both is far more difficult.

Overall, it is a nice slice of life sort of film wherein your connection to the characters is key.

4.5/5

Pros.

It manages both drama and comedy well

The actors have good chemistry

You care about the characters

It is well paced

It is funny

Cons.

The start was a little slow

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IF: A Sad And Upsetting Film That Is Certainly Not For Kids

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Children’s imaginary friends are real and live in an old folks home.

I originally wasn’t going to see this film because it stars Amy Schumer in a minor role, but then I went to the random movie night at my local cinema wherein they show a random new release to the audience and you don’t know what you are going to get and this is what I got. As I don’t go to any of the major UK chains often, this is what I do at my independent local cinema instead, if it sounds different to what you are used to. Could have left, but I thought hey I am at the cinema and sat down now so I’ll watch it.

This is not what you are expecting it to be, it is not some cutesy family film, or a laugh a minute comedy its actually incredibly sad and distressing. Think Bridge To Terabithia sad. The film is incredibly bleak at times and the film plays these moments rather earnestly, what’s more the ending that makes you question whether any of it was actually real or simply the girls means of coping with the fact she may become an orphan just makes it all hit far more. I liked that right at the end we got confirmation that it was all real and that the whimsey could win the day over a gritty and tragic tale of a little girl’s battle with mental illness to cope with what’s happened to her family.

Ryan Reynolds and Phoebe Waller-Bridge are the standouts amongst the cast with the former having some good funny moments and the latter having a lot of heart and emotion.

Overall, not the film that you have been sold, but instead something much more emotional and upsetting.

2.5/5

Pros.

It has some sweet moments

The story is interesting

It is a new idea

Cons.

It is depressing

The premise doesn’t go far enough and their isn’t enough variety in the IFs

It has been not properly marketed

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Life and Beth: The Show You Make When You No Longer Have Any Jokes Left About Your Vagina

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Amy Schumer continues to try and cry out for relevance.

I was subjected to the first season of this during a binge day when we couldn’t find anything else to watch and wherein I was eventually outvoted, and whilst a part of me wanted to get up and go for a walk whilst it was on it was also raining and I didn’t have my raincoat so I had to stay and watch it.

As many of you might know I do not like Amy Schumer, she is not funny, her material is that she likes to use people for sex and then talks about her body in a self-deprecating way, it is neither new nor intelligent. What’s more she had sex with someone when she was sober and they were clearly very drunk so in no place to properly consent, she has told this story several times, this is a thing she did in real life. She is a sexual predator, in my opinion, and if a man told a story about how they took advantage of a woman who was unable to properly consent they would never work again, not so for Schumer.

That aside I knew I wasn’t going to like this show going in but as I was forced to watch it I thought well maybe there could be something I’ll like about it, but no. Essentially, what this show boils down to is a worse version of Fleabag, Schumer’s’ character has to deal with grief, as we all have, whilst being a mess and going around and treating people like garbage. It think it is very deep and a comment on life and what it means to lose someone but its incredibly thin on anything other than generic platitudes, but that speaks to the quality of the writing.

Schumer does fair better here as she doesn’t have to be funny, with it being a comedy drama, and believe me she isn’t. I suppose she is a little bit less irritating and obnoxious here than she was in something like I Feel Pretty yet I digress.

Overall, it is sad that a sexual predator, in my opinion, still gets work.

0/5

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