iCarly: iReturn To Webicon

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Carly, Miranda Cosgrove, and co go to an awards ceremony only to end up trapped in a forest with Carly’s ex.

Yikes…. Bar the incredibly sexist episode, oh wait there have been a few of those, anyway those aside this is probably the worst episode of the revival series so far.

Why? Well because the premise breaks down to a few out of date jokes about Fyre Fest, and a pointless love triangle that maybe has Carly get back with someone who treated her like dirt, because that is a healthy message to send out to your young fans.

Moreover, the B plot about Freddie, Nathan Kress, and his app is just boring. It really feels like the latter half of the series did not know what to do with Freddie and instead got hung up on the app storyline for some reason. This is a shame as the earlier parts of the series really gave Freddie a lot of great character work.

The only positive thing I have to say about this episode is that I like the romantic pairing of Harper, Laci Mosley, and Double Dutch, Poppy Liu. I think the two have great chemistry and it will be a benefit for the series going forward to watch the two play off each other. Also I am always a sucker for a good romance arc.

Overall, a good episode for Harper, but pretty bad for everyone else.

Pros.

Harper and Double Dutch

A few funny moments

Cons.

The Freddie’s app side plot is dull

The Carly love triangle sends a bad message

Fyre Fest was several years ago, move on

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The Bronze: Does Anyone Really Care About Third Place?

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Hope Ann Gregory, Melissa Rauch, is a former Olympic bronze medallist who now spends her days in an American small town with her adoring public. However, after her life reaches a breaking point she ends up coaching the next generation of Olympic talent, much to her annoyance.

Usually I enjoy films under the Duplass Brothers Productions banner, but this was a rare misfire for me.

My problems with this film begin and end with the central character. There is nothing likeable about Hope, though in the beginning that is kind of the point even by the end of the film when the character journey is supposedly complete she is still a trash person and that makes her very hard to root for as a character. She does have a few funny lines, but it really doesn’t make up for how nasty the character is considering we are supposed to like her.

Moreover, the comedy of the film didn’t really work for me either. As I said Rauch has a few funny lines that work, but widely most of the jokes aren’t good and end up falling flat. A few are particularly bad eye rollers.

The ending also didn’t work for me. This is mainly due to the fact that it did not feel earned, the character does not feel like she has gotten to a place where she would do what she does in the end, frankly I find it unbelievable and that proves poor writing.

Overall, a weak comedy film.

Pros.

It is watchable

Rauch has a few funny lines

Cons.

Most of the jokes don’t land

Hope is a deeply unlikeable lead

The ending

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The Protege: Mid Fight Scene Sex, Is This Shoot Em Up?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Assassin Anna Dutton, Maggie Q, sets out on a path of revenge after her father figure/ assassin mentor is killed.

This was a surprise treat, at first I was worried that it would just be a boring and generic action thriller, however as it went on I found the film to have far more personality, humour and charm than I was expecting it to.

This is not the most original action movie in the world, the plot has been done countless times before and no doubt better. Moreover, it is also insanely predictable, and it is clear from a mile away when all the twists and turns are coming.

However, where this film rises above its rather average station is in its performances. I have loved Maggie Q as an action star since I first saw her in Nikita, not only does she pull off action well, but she also has really strong cocksure energy and plays a badass well. A large part of my enjoyment with this film is from watching her interact with the other characters on screen.

In that regard Q is joined on screen by Michael Keaton and Samuel L. Jackson, both provide strong support though I would give the edge to Keaton. I enjoyed the romance/rivalry between his character and Q’s I thought the dynamic was funny and well used, leading to several great scenes.

Overall, a charming action film that whilst not reinventing the genre does prove to be entertaining and very watchable.

Pros.

Keaton

The charm

Cons.

It is obvious

It is a little too familiar

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Our Ladies: Life In A Small Scottish Town

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of Scottish school girls head up to the big city, in this case Edinburgh, for a school choir competition, however they are far more interested in drinking, partying and hooking up.

Damn this one is an unexpected punch in the feels, get ready so it doesn’t take you by surprise as it did me. You have been warned.

The premise as I described it to you above seems pretty breezy and fun, and though the film has elements of that there is far more going on below the surface. The plot of this film is far deeper than you might give it credit for and it runs the gambit of commenting on such issues as terminal disease, inequality, homophobia and many more. In many ways, this film tackles both the high points and the low points of life and doesn’t shy away from either.

I found this film to be depressing, but maybe that was the point, maybe you were supposed to leave it reflecting on how these girls have less life opportunities than other people based on their location, gender and class background. However, that is not to say I didn’t find any moments of enjoyment in the film, I did. There are several moments in the film that are not only enjoyable but cheer worthy.

I thought all the performers herein were entertaining and endearing and by the end of the film I cared enough about the characters that I wanted them to have a happy ending, sadly that is not how it pans out.

Overall, a surprisingly dark tale of teenage angst, love and life.

Pros.

A few funny moments

Likeable characters

Well-paced

Cons.

It is too dark

It leaves you feeling depressed

Father Of The Year: Join The Army Today, A Propaganda Film

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two young men try to find out which of their fathers would win in a fight.

Yes, this is lowest common denominator stuff, it is a post-Netflix deal Happy Madison production after all. However, unlike some of the more Sandler centric fare I found myself laughing.

I think a big part of this is due to David Spade who does a good job here, he is the right amount of stupid, annoying and endearing to create a character that works across multiple levels as the film progresses. In the beginning there is something funny about watching him fall naked out of a truck pool into the street, at this point you are decidedly laughing at him not with him, and then as the film progresses you find yourself warming to his stupid brand of comedy and by the end you actually like him, or at least I did. There is a whole audience/character journey there.

I thought the relationship herein were sweet and gave the film a nice sentimental edge that makes up for some of the more mean spirited gags. I thought the father son relationship between Ben, Joey Bragg, and Spade’s father character was actually quite well done and heart-warming over the course of the film. I also thought Ben’s relationship with Meredith, Bridgit Mendler, was sweet. Mendler has a lot of fun when she is on-screen and often ends up stealing the scene, however it would have been nice if the film had given her more to do beyond just being Ben’s love interest.

Furthermore, this film has a weird fascination with the American Armed Forces that I didn’t care for, this is not just a little aside but instead becomes a whole B plot. It feels at best like a paid advert at worst like propaganda. Stop trying to condition people to join the army. Moreover, and this might just be my interpretation, but have you ever noticed in how a lot of Sandler related films he casts his real life wife in negative roles. Yes, if you watch a lot of these films she is usually given the domineering, mean or controlling roles, just look at her character here, a wife who treats her husband awfully until the moment he swears at her kid. I won’t make any comments on this trend, but I will ask this, is Sandler and Co trying to tell us something here?

Overall, at times a funny and endearing film however some of the more overt themes drag it down.

Pros

Spade

The jokes

The relationships

Cons.

The army propaganda

The female characterisation

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iCarly: iPlan A Flawless Dinner Party

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Carly, Miranda Cosgrove, cooks a meal for her new beau and his Grandmother in order to impress them- rather unsurprisingly it goes awry.

This is the definition of average. A wham bam thank you mam no thrills kind of episode. Neither the A or B plots are very good and the whole thing leaves you just going meh.

The A storyline is predictable as hell and plays off the women in competition or hating each other for the sake of it, or worse yet being territorial over a man angle to an eye rolling extent. Clearly the writers of the show were not content with the sexism of last weeks episode and needed to continue it here as well. Moreover, I find it worth noting how much of a big deal the show makes out of the fact Carly can’t cook, not just in this episode where it is plot centric. Does the show care if the male characters can cook? No. However, it does like pointing and laughing at Carly for not being able to, is it because she dared to deviate from a gender stereotype? Maybe.

The B Storyline of Spencer’s, Jerry Trainor, relationship endings felt needed. By that I mean the storyline of his relationship had run its course by the previous episode and there didn’t seem to be anywhere else they could take it, so this was inevitable. It had its wholesome moments, but I am not too sad to see it go.

Overall, the lazy sexism and poor writing makes this one of the weaker episodes of the revival.

Pros.

It is watchable

Freddy, Nathan Kress, continues to be a shining light on a troubled sea of poorly written characters

Cons.

It is sexist

It is played out

It is deeply unfunny

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Attack The Block: Aliens Should Have Thought Better Than To Attack Inner-City London

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Aliens land in a London council estate during Bonfire Night, a gang of youths are the only thing standing in their way to world domination.

Personally, I think this film is a little overrated. It is a mostly good film sure, but it is not a classic as some seem to view it as.

I dislike the way the characters in this film talk, the street slang sort of language is quickly overdone, and worse yet it perpetuates stereotypes about the youth of the working class; there will be plenty of people in the same situation that don’t talk like that and that aren’t in gangs. So presenting the majority of the tower block being criminal in some fashion feels a little off to me.

Moreover, the film lacks the charm of an Edgar Wright picture, if you will pardon the comparison. The characters feel hard to root for or care about because they don’t really do or say anything to make you like them. The only two that I felt any kind of positive feeling towards are Luke Treadway’s Brewis and Nick Frosts Ron, the latter of whom I only really like because Wright has conditioned me to always find him charming whenever he is on screen.

The thing I will give this film credit for is the scale and spectacle of it. For a modestly budgeted film they do a lot with the effects and the way they build tension. So much so that even though you only ever see the aliens for a moment here and there it feels like more, and enough is left to the imagination to make it interesting.

Overall, as a one off I think this film is a fine watch, it doesn’t need a sequel though, however.

Pros.

The scale and spectacle

Treadaway and Frost

The aliens

Cons.

None of the characters are particularly likeable

How it portrays working class youths

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The Last Mercenary: Daddy’s Coming

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A mysterious secret agent, Jean-Claude Van Damme, must return to France after his son finds himself in some legal trouble.

I think a big part of the reason this one didn’t land for me is the humour. As I have said before humour is subjective, personally for me I didn’t find any of the jokes particularly funny, not only that but I found a few of them actively cringe. The issue with action comedies, is that often these sort of films do neither well and fail in both regards as a result of trying to incorporate the other, obviously there have been examples where it has worked but more often then not it is subpar.

I thought Van Damme was on top form here and he is clearly trying his best, sadly the film never fully uses his talents in a meaningful way. Van Damme gets all the best lines, and the film goes out of its way to make him ‘cool’. This is a good thing, but sadly one that has a knock on effect for the rest of the cast, as no one has anywhere near the presence that Van Damme has, and the rest of the actors simply end up fading into the background.

The action here is again fairly standard. You would think with a huge action star like Van Damme they would try to push the boat out a bit in what they have him doing, but this film takes it the other way and keeps things tame- much to everyone’s disappointment.

Overall, slightly below average. Watchable in a pinch.

Pros.

Van Damme is trying

It is watchable

Cons.

The action

The rest of the cast

The humour

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iCarly: iCan Fix It Myself

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Carly, Miranda Cosgrove, seeks to become a mechanic after she feels ripped off by one and wants to save the ‘life’ of her beloved car Vin Diesel.

This was a very lukewarm episode of iCarly for me. I thought the A plot about Carly trying to be a mechanic was cringe and ended up undermining the points it was trying to make. The first half of the episode focuses heavily on feminist talking points about female empowerment and Carly seizing control of her own life. Then the second half of the episode admits she was wrong to think that, that in fact she should have always just asked the man to fix it and then to push back into regression even further Carly even agrees to go on a date with him. Really guys? The sexism here is ridiculous. The moral of the episode is entirely undone by the pay off at the end.

The B plot about Harper’s, Laci Mosley, cousin faking her kidnapping is better considerably. Though the series is struggling with giving Harper something to do, I think the introduction of her cousin has greatly added to her character and given her a new dynamic to play off. I liked the build up and pay off of this plot and thought it gave Spencer, Jerry Trainor, a number of memorable moments that are also funny to watch.

Overall, I am surprised this episode got made, did no one see how deeply sexist the A plot is?

Pros.

Spencer

The B plot

A few funny jokes

Cons.

It is deeply sexist

Nearly everything about the A plot is awful

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Free Guy: Stop Killing NPCs

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A non-playable character Guy, Ryan Reynolds, figures out that his whole world is a lie and has to come to terms with that whilst also trying to stop it from ending.

The trailers for this film miss-sold it. They make the film look like a blockbuster action film, and whilst there certainly are action elements within the film, it often happens in the background. The film instead is far more character driven with the bonds and relationships they form being front and centre throughout. If I had to categorise this film I would say a comedy, possibly a romantic comedy.

I thought the film was very wholesome to watch and that this overriding sense of positivity made the film feel very watchable whilst also giving it a rootability. You quickly become attached to Ryan Reynolds’ Guy as well as the real world game designers that are trying to help him, these characters are played by Jodie Cormer and Joe Keery. The romance at the heart of this story, originally between Cormer’s Millie and Reynold’s Guy and then between Cormer’s Millie and Joe Keery’s ‘Keys’ is really the heart of the film. Personally, I thought the romance was sweet and well done, it made me feel something.

The Truman Show esque moments are easily the most fascinating of the film as Guy and his fellow NPC’s have to come to terms with being ‘not real’. I think the real strength of the narrative here is that the film leans into this and shows different characters processing this information in different ways. It would be very easy for the film just to show everyone freaking out, but it doesn’t do that.

I understand why the film features so many streamers, but it does get to feel a little like overkill by the end of the film. It would be better if the film only featured one or two streamers and used them sparingly throughout the film, it goes in the other direction for I think rather obvious reasons.

Overall, a good film to watch once. Does it need to be seen in the cinema? Probably not.

Pros.

Reynolds

The love story

The comedy

The Truman Show vibes

Cons.

Too many streamers, used cynically

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