Luckiest Girl Alive: Exploiting Pain

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The struggles of a young woman, played by Mila Kunis, as she makes her way in the world.

Netflix needs to take a long hard look in the mirror releasing this only a few weeks after Blonde, both films which can be viewed as exploitative and as fetishising sexual violence and female misery. I have read to a degree that some think this film could have done with a trigger warning, or to have not gone as hard as it did, but I would argue that the real issue is that the subject matter wasn’t handled well at all, lacking any kind of grace rather being instead a brute force act of shock. I can understand to a degree the director choosing to do things the way they did to show the true horrors of life for a young woman but at the same time I would argue that this verges into a new form of torture porn along the way.

Additionally, unlike other reviewers I don’t think Mila Kunis was the right lead for this film. Though she does have some acting talent which has been shown more in her recent dramatic work I just don’t think it is strong enough to carry this film. If anything the weakness of Kunis’ acting abilities are only brought to the fore here and from that she is crushed under them.

Moreover, the pace moves so breezily by everything that nothing really has a chance to sink in or to mean anything at all. The film aims for these lofty high art goals of replicating the human condition but it comes nowhere close as the technical failings mean it is hamstrung from the opening minutes, the pacing is truly quite bad being both overly long and rushed at the same time.

Overall, yikes Netflix stop profiteering from other people’s grief and pain. Lets hope this new form of grief induced torture porn ends early so we aren’t subjected to more films like this.

Pros.

It tries to tell an important story

Cons.

It is bleak throughout

Kunis isn’t strong enough to carry it

The pacing is awful

It fixates and fetishizes grief and pain far too much

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Rosaline: Reducing Shakespeare To Make Bland Tasteless Garbage

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The untold story of Rosaline, played by Kaitlyn Dever, Romeo’s ex-girlfriend.

Yikes another group of old people trying to right how they think Gen Z talk. This film is deeply unfunny on multiple levels and more often than not crosses over into irritating territory, I didn’t laugh once whilst watching.

Moreover, the titular heroine of Rosaline was deeply unlikeable for most of the film and behaved like a brat who used people for her own ends. Not only did this make her detestable it also meant that she needed to be redeemed by the end of the film in a narrative sense, yet the film just thought that it could cram all of her apologies and soul searching into a 5 minute sequence then move on which makes the whole thing feel incredibly shallow.

In addition to those glaring issues the film also has Rosaline using men for sex and then just chucking them treating them more as bodies than as people, and whilst I acknowledge that there is a long cinematic tradition of male characters doing this, in modern times it is seen as wrong to do so. As such if Rosealine’s character was male and behaved the same way their would be an outcry against this film yet it is okay because she is a woman? Surely for things to be truly equal if anyone regardless of gender just uses a person for their body and doesn’t even treat them like a human being it deserves to be called out as wrong. To ply further scorn, the film also includes an incredibly reductive stereotypical gay best friend character, played by Spencer Stevenson, which feels like it belongs in a film from at least a decade ago.

Overall, a terrible film that no one will fondly remember.

Pros.

A nice central romance

Dever is trying her best

Cons.

The lead is awful throughout

It is unfunny

Some of its characters are reductive stereotypes

It has nothing to say and isn’t a clever play on Romeo and Juliet

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House Of The Dragon: Driftmark

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Things come to blows at a funeral.

I think this may have been the best episode of House Of The Dragon yet. The tension throughout the episode was palpable, and the coming war is just screaming out at this point. Through out the whole of the episode you feel as though you are on a knife edge just waiting to fall over the other side, but that never comes which in my mind was disappointing.

I liked that Alicent, played by Olivia Cooke, finally made her feelings for Rhaenyra, played by Emma D’Arcy known openly and I thought the scene where she tried to stab her was, pardon the overused phrase, edge of seat viewing. However, my issue with this scene was that it felt anticlimactic, as though the show knows what we all want and told us to wait till after dinner. The fact that nothing was done about Alicent trying to kill a princess is shocking, and I for one was screaming at the TV ‘are you really going to let her get away with that’.

In other developments House Of The Dragon much like its forbearer Game Of Thrones is again pushing another incestuous pairing front and centre, but unlike with GOT here you are actually rooting for the couple far more. Matt Smith’s Daemon is great here, as always, and I really enjoyed his sneaky cloak bad scene towards the end of the episode; it is always fun to see him get into mischief.

Overall, I came damn near close to giving this 5, but I felt the ending was just a little anticlimactic.

Pros.

The tension

War is brewing

It is edge of seat viewing

The ending

Dameon and Rhaenyra finally get together

Cons.

It is a little anti-climatic

The Horror Of Dracula: From Transylvania To Klausenberg

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A retelling of the classic Dracula tale.

I have long heard that this is one of the definitive takes on the classic novel, however, now after seeing I think that it lacks a certain something. Obviously, I am approaching this old film with modern sensibilities so some things will be lost in translation, but I think that it really suffers from clearly being very low budget. Now I know Hammer Horror was low budget and campy and that was all part of the charm, but I think here due to limitations Dracula, played by Christopher Lee, was able to be set up as a truly terrifying threat.

Moreover, I also think that this film makes a number of odd changes to the book that seem to serve no purpose other than to be confusing, as for the most part it is just swapping around character names and backstories somewhat. I don’t really understand why the film did this as it certainly didn’t add anything.

However, the incredibly strong positive this film has going for it is the legendary Christopher Lee, who easily blends into the role of Dracula and I thought was able to make the role his own and put his personal spin on it. Lee saves this film from mediocrity.

Overall, a very average film pushed up by Christopher Lee.

Pros.

Lee

It is very watchable

The final battle

Cons.

It makes strange changes to the source material for no real reason

It’s low budget hurts it in places

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House Of The Dragon: The Princess And The Queen

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A time jump highlights the breakdown in relations between Alicent, played by Olivia Cooke, and Rhaenyra, played by Emma D’Arcy, meanwhile Daemon, played by Matt Smith, grieves.

I think again this was a slower paced episode but also one that featured a lot of great performances. Emma D’Arcy is magnificent in every scene they are in, and can communicate a great deal with even the smallest facial gesture, Cooke is also excellent and her character is quickly becoming a love to hate villain.

I thought the Dameon side plot was a little out of left field, but it was nice to see him actually happy with his lady wife as it adds some greater depth to his character. I do think the asides the episode makes to check in with his character slow it down a lot and not in any kind of good way.

The final battle/ red wedding esque fire scene was a very fitting end for the episode and really helped to make it feel as though things are ramping up as we head into the final few episodes of the season.

Overall, a good episode but definitely slower and less interesting than some of the others.

Pros.

Exploring new depths with Daemon

D’Arcy

Cooke

The ending of the episode

Cons.

It is quite slow paced

Some of the breaks away to focus on Daemon’s new life feel quite dull

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House Of The Dragon: We Light The Way

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Rhaenyra, played by Milly Alcock, gets married and battle lines are drawn.

I think this was another great episode of House Of The Dragon. The opening of Daemon, played by Matt Smith, killing his wife was absolutely chilling and reminded us of the monster that he really is. Couple this with the marriage brawl murder later in the episode and we really get quite a lot of violence and mayhem here.

I thought the courtroom intrigue was possibly stronger here then it was last week. I like that the show is very clearly laying down roots, you can see the future planning happening. I think the character work here is also really strong and several characters get a nice amount of development.

If I had one criticism of this episode it would be how much focus they give to Alicent, played by Emily Carey, and her fixation on Rhaenyra’s virginity. I feel like in GOT the character would have used this information to their advantage and not acted shocked for the whole episode, which came across almost as a mixture of naivety and slut shaming. It made Alicent very easily hateable.

Overall, the show is really hitting its stride.

Pros.

The opening Daemon scene

The wedding sequence

The future set up

The ramping tension

Cons.

The way they write Alicent

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House Of The Dragon: King Of The Narrow Sea

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Daemon, played by Matt Smith, returns to court and Rhaenyra, played by Milly Alcock, hits the town.

Things slow down a gear, but that doesn’t make this a bad episode. It is far more intimate and character driven than some of the previous episode we have had and we get a far greater exploration of Rhaenyra as a character.

I enjoyed the sex positive approach this episode took and think that we should see more content like it, for too long young women have been taught to repress their sexual urges and to be chaste, old fashion sounding but surprisingly common practice, so I think it is a good thing that Rhaenyra takes what she wants here in a sexual sense.

I also thought the complete destruction of Otto Hightower, played by Rhys Ifans, was very satisfying. All season long he has been slimy so it is nice to finally see him get his, even though he will probably be back at it in the next episode.

My main criticism of this episode would be that it was the first to really struggle with its pace in a major way and that by having such a personal focus there are a few boring sequences.

Overall, an episode that does a lot right but that also struggles with its pacing.

Pros.

The sex positive approach

The destruction of Otto Hightower

The character focus

Matt Smith is great again

Cons.

The pacing

A few needless asides

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Three Thousand Years Of Longing: Idris Elba Topless For Almost Two Hours

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A woman, played by Tilda Swinton, meets a djinn, played by Idris Elba, and the experience changes her life.

I think the trailers for this film are misleading, they make it seem whimsical and fun when in actual fact there is a quite a sad and melancholic tone that runs throughout the film. In that vein you are never quite sure whether anything that is happening actually is or whether it is actually Swinton’s character slipping into mental illness as such there is a quite an unsettling aspect to proceedings. It will be one of those instances where how you choose to see the film will determine what you take from it, but for me the lead’s mental illness was clear and that took away a lot of the joy for me of this film and actually made it quite sad and depressing.

Moreover, though usually Tilda Swinton is a gifted performer her performance her leaves something to be desired. This is main due to the fact that the Northern accent she is trying to do is quite frankly awful, Swinton is laying it on far too thick and as someone from that neck of the woods I can say with confidence that it is laughably bad.

The only reason that this film got a point from me is because some of its more absurdist comedic leanings made me laugh, believe me this is not a funny film by any means but there were one or two laughs that worked for me.

Overall, not an enjoyable time at the cinema.

Pros.

A few laughs to be had

Cons.

It is depressing

It is unsettling

Swinton’s accent is awful

It is badly paced

House Of The Dragon: Second Of His Name

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The question of who Rhaenyra, played by Milly Alcock, will marry continues to be an issue and Daemon, played by Matt Smith, wins a blood soaked victory.

I truly think that with this episode House Of The Dragon fully manages to live up to the high standard set by the peak of Game Of Thrones. The battle sequence towards the end of the episode with Daemon is truly a majestic feat of television and is as visceral as it is captivating. The episode really comes alive during this part.

I also enjoyed the focus this episode placed on the relationship between Rhaenyra and her father, played by Paddy Considine. I think it is nice to see such a progressive character on Game Of Thrones and it is heartening to see a character within this setting not force their daughter into an unhappy marriage. I think much like the Daemon sequence captures the action of peak GOT, these quieter court scenes also capture the other half of GOT at its best as well.

Overall, a fantastic episode of television, my only complaint is that we couldn’t have had more of it.

Pros.

The Daemon action sequence

The scope and intensity

The quiet court scenes

Putting a focus on the relationship between Rhaenyra and her father

The ending

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The Rings Of Power: My Experience And Why I Won’t Be Reviewing It, Beyond The First Episode

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A new Middle Earth saga begins, one that will leave few happy.

So this will be part review part what went wrong. If you can’t already see, I didn’t enjoy my time with the show.

Let’s get the obvious low hanging fruit out of the way first, yes there is a lot of quiet clear forced diversity in the show, as that seems to be the only thing Hollywood wants to do these days, and yes all of the male characters that Galadriel, played by Morfydd Clark, comes into contact with are weak and stupid and whilst both of these things are mildly annoying I would not say they are the main issue.

I think the thing that made this first episode so hard to watch, indeed I had to watch it in parts because I could only stomach about 20 minutes of it at a time, is the pacing. The pacing is simply awful, not only does very, very little happen but the episodes are on for way too long and drawing out the episodes only further highlights how empty they are.

Honestly, I don’t think this show needed to exist, I think Amazon made it to try and have their own Game Of Thrones after The Wheel Of Time didn’t turn into what they wanted it to be, and I think that is very clear in every frame. For the record I don’t think this show will ever hold a candle to Game Of Thrones unless they make drastic changes to it, which they won’t.

Overall, sadly this show was what a lot of people feared it might be, needless.

Pros.

The visuals are good but you would expect that for the money spent

Clark makes a good Galadriel

Cons.

The forced in identity politics

The pace

The lack of anything really happening

It doesn’t justify its existence

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