In The Lost Lands: Zack Snyder Is That You?

Mila Jovovich is back for another fantasy action role, but can it live up to her past glories?

I enjoyed this film, I thought it had a great sense of style, and an interesting world rife for exploring. The issue, however, is that this feels like a film set in a world that you are already supposed to know, in other words it feels like a part two rather than a new film. This goes through every aspect of the film from characters to plot points, to the fact that magic and demons exist. None of this is really explored in any detail it is just there.

Jovovich still has it in terms of action and is believable as Sister Alice, however, her chemistry with Batista is none existent. To the point that when they somewhat get together at the end of the film it makes little to no sense.

In a sense despite being directed by Paul W.S Anderson, this feels like a Zack Snyder film. It has a lot of cool looking visuals and a great world ready to be explored, but in terms of storytelling, character development or sense it just is not there.

Overall, style over substance.

2/5.

Pros.

A cool world

Good visuals

The Badlands are interesting

Cons.

The characters are underdeveloped

The chemistry isn’t there

It makes no sense

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Hostages: The Scary Power Of Influencers

Summary

A group of people get stuck in a hotel room.

So I watched this one a little while back in my day job, as a film festival programmer, and normally I don’t cross the streams but I thought that enough time had passed that I would write about it here.

So this is quite a funny comedy film about social media news and the corrupting effects of online fame and how quickly mass hysteria can form. In many sense this film works as it is timely however, I would say that it won’t feel dated as that sense of seeing coverage of something online and freaking yourself out is fairly timeless.

The cast are all strong though I would say that Charlotte Ritchie is probably the star of the show, especially as we see her go darker than she has done in past roles, particularly towards the end of the film. There is a moment where she reminds you just a little bit of Jim Jones or one of the classic cult leaders of the last century.

The humour is not hitting with a joke a minute, but does have a number of good jokes and recurring bits over the course of the film.

Overall, a funny British comedy film

4/5

Pros.

It is funny

Ritchie

The characters are likeable

It is timely but also timeless

Cons.

Not all the jokes land

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Novocaine: The Soft Man’s John Wick

Summary

Jack Quaid cannot feel pain.

So this film had some good gross out moments and the action was pretty solid, but it did not do enough to get past its very so so plot. It sorely wants to be a more comedic take on something like John Wick with him going after the bad guys to get his girlfriend, Amber Mindhunter, back. However, they don’t really explore him as a character beyond this.

The side characters and villains are equally as underdeveloped, they fill the role the script needs them to but they are barely beyond one dimensional and struggle to stay in your mind when they go off the screen

Overall, fluff lacking any kind of substance

2/5

Pros.

The action

A few funny moments

Cons.

The plot is very forgettable

The characters are underdeveloped

It has pacing issues

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Mission Impossible The Final Reckoning: The Geriatric Stuntman

Summary

Ethan hunt is back for one final adventure.

There is nothing final about this film, the idea this is the last Mission Impossible film is a fallacy. This film is terrified of doing anything that has a whiff of ending to it. Killing off characters? Nah, Having people retire at the end? Nah. Actually properly wrapping up the plot? Nah.

There are ridiculous scenes such as where Hunt, Tom Cruise, is falling without a parachute to certain death and yet he magically manages to find one in the next shot. Or when Benji, Simon Pegg, is shot and looks like he is going to die yet lives thanks to some simple medical hack, who knew getting shot was so easy to walk off. The only person they do kill is Luther, Ving Rhames, and even then I would not be surprised if he came back in another film. Honestly the plot armour is so thick here it gets to the point where even if everyone fired off their nuclear arsenals Hunt and co would be just fine.

Then you have the long self-indulgent bloat, the film is on for an ungodly amount of time and why? Does it put it to good use? No it does it to cram in as much pointless nostalgia as possible, remember the security guard from one of the earlier films? No well you are going to meet him and spend a bunch of time with his family. This feels like one of those times where you needed a cruel studio executive to force through cuts and get the film into better shape.

Overall, reheated slop that needs to die off as a franchise. It has had its time, it is over.

2/5

Pros.

Some dumb fun

Pom Klementieff is a great addition

Cons.

It is too scared for meaningful character death

It is bloated

It is boring at times

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Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part Two: The End

Summary

The final battle.

So this the better one of the two-parter. They throw everything they have into the Battle of Hogwarts effects wise and that makes for some great action. I would have liked things to be a little more inventive, like these are wizards and witches who can conjure things out of thin air. Hagrid, Robbie Coltrane could have let lose her collection of magical creatures with a number of pay offs to previous films, but no.

I enjoyed that this film took things away the central trio and tried to give other characters moments this helped to make it feel less like another round of teen angst. I did not like seeing the flashforward at the end and seeing where all the characters ended up as I thought that it was underdeveloped and once again ignored world building to focus on the three characters.

Overall, a much better second half but not one that is perfect

3.5/5

Pros.

The battle

Giving other characters some spotlight

The tone

The pacing

Cons.

They could have done more

The flashforward is not explored enough

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Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part One: The Love Triangle That No One Needed

Summary

Harry, Ron, Rupert Grint, and Hermione set off to find the horcruxes.

So this film is a mess. From top to bottom.

For two key reasons. Firstly, you have the fact that rather than focus on a world that Voldemort, Ralph Fiennes, has taken over and show us what that is like, or show us the Order of the Phoenix fighting back against Voldemort and his forces, we get to follow Ron, Harry and Hermione as they trapes over the countryside.

Secondly, and very much woven into the first reason is the fact that of the Ron, Harry and Hermione storyline a hell of a lot of it is taken up with the awkward sort of love triangle. This just feels far too YA and is not of any interest to anyone. It feels like needless filler to justify the need to split the book into two films. They could have spent that time showing us more of the world.

Something I will applaud the film for is that it does go to some quite dark places and handles the mature subject matter well. When Hermione is being tortured in Malfoy manner it feels very distressing and real, and in this moment the series really does manage to shed its childlike image.

Overall, forget worldbuilding lets have a love triangle instead.

2.5/5

Pros.

The mature tone

A few good battle scenes

The Deathly Hallows story animated is well done

Cons.

Too much angst

A deeply unnecessary love triangle

Little world building

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Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince: Killing Time Whilst J.K Rowling Gets Paid

Summary

Despite war being declared, Harry returns to Hogwarts for a 6th year.

This is only marginally better than the previous film, and you will find that the issues I had with that film crop back up here. For example, there is more filler, lots more. Whilst you may be wondering what Voldemort and co are up to, or how they’re taking over the world, you won’t see any of that. Instead, you get a Ron, Rupert Grint, love triangle and even more needless teen angst.

I will give this film that it at least fills in some of Snape’s, Alan Rickman, back story which is interesting and you get to see more of Voldemort’s horcruxes which again is welcome, however, it feels like the build up to another film. Even the death of Dumbledore, Michael Gambon, feels like it should lead to more but then the film just abruptly ends after the central trio decide to go and hunt down the remaining horcruxes.

The more we see of the Death Eaters the more interesting they appear and yet the film never allows us to spend much time with them, even less with the Order of the Phoenix members. Who get next to no screen time.

Overall, too much angst not enough exploration of characters outside the main trio.

2.5

Pros.

Some interesting wider world stuff

The horcrux plot line

More time with the Death Eaters

Cons.

It is slow

It has too much angst

It feels like filler

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Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix: The Wrath Of A Karen

Summary

Harry Potter faces his greatest nemesis yet a karen, Imelda Staunton.

This ties the first film for being the worst in my opinion, there is so much wrong with this from the fact of how the whole film is an act of filler, both in universe as people don’t believe Voldemort has returned, and also in a meta sense as this delays the inevitable war for future films pushing it down the road.

Furthermore, outside of the ending fight this film is a mess of teenage angst and Moody outbursts, it feels far more like a YA film than a fantasy adventure film. Once again I would like to see far more background on the Order members and get to know them, rather than have to go back to Hogwarts yet again.

Moreover, the idea that Dumbledore, Michael Gambon, would allow a teacher into the school who was hurting students as a means of discipline is just ridiculous, and the film goes oh he can’t do anything otherwise the Ministry of Magic will turn on him as a means of explanation. However, the films set him up as such a powerful force that the Ministry wouldn’t dare, and he would never allow a student to be harmed at Hogwarts. It just breaks its own logic.

The dementor scene at the beginning of the film is really the only good one of the entire film.

Overall, filler in everyway.

1/5

Pros.

The dementor scene

Cons.

It is boring

It breaks its own logic

It is filler

It has too much YA garbage in it

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The CCP Kid

Summary

The Smith family have found something they like more than open relationships, and it’s the CCP.

So as a kid and before I was franchise literate I watched this film and liked it, however, after Cobra Kai ended I went back and rewatched all the Karate Kid films and found that this one is likely the worst.

There are two key reasons why this film sticks out for all the wrong reasons. Firstly, it is a shot for shot remake of the original film at times, yes sometimes they try and riff on it and do something different with certain shots, but for the most part it is shot for shot the same. This isn’t a loving homage its damn near plagiarism.

The second is the fact that this film is so in love with the Chinese Communist Party, a party that harvests prisoner’s organs without consent, a party that commits genocide against its minorities, a party that locks away anyone who speaks out of turn. The fact that this whole film feels like its trying to be a visit China advertising campaign makes me feel a little sick.

Overall, a Temu rip off of an American IP.

0/5

Pros.

None

Cons.

The plagiarism

How in love with the Chinese state it is

Smith is bratty right the way through the film

It is boring

Mr Han is no Mr Miyagi

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Karate Kid Legends: New Blood?

Summary

A new Karate Kid is chosen.

So this was a fairly charming film. I was a fan of Cobra Kai and when I heard about this film I was unsure, especially when it was murky whether it would even mention any of the events from the show, however, I have to say the final stinger of the film with Miyagi-Dough made me cheer a little bit inside.

This is a reverse Jaden Smith Karate Kid and has a Chinese boy, Ben Wang, come to America which was interesting. Personally I think the Smith starring film is easily the worst in the franchise so I was not super hyped about the return of Mr Han, Jackie Chan, though he did have a few funny scenes. It is such a shame that Chan has become a whore for the Chinese Communist Party, and all they have done, I used to like him but him being in this makes it hard for me to watch.

Seeing Daniel, Ralph Macchio, was a highlight and I loved how they honoured the legacy of Mr Miyagi, Pat Morita, and managed to bring together the two schools of Kung Fu and Karate.

Was it a bit formulaic? Yes. Did it repeat plot beats from the franchise? For sure. However, there was enough here to make this special and charming.

Overall, probably the best action film of the summer.

4.5/5

Pros.

Daniel

How they honoured Mr Miyagi

The stinger at the end

It was charming

The action was pretty good

Cons.

It was a bit familiar at times

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