Clown In A Cornfield: Clowns Are So Overused

A group of clowns is terrorising small town America.

I had been meaning to watch this for some time, but I hadn’t gotten around to it until recently, and as I have I found myself quickly becoming disenchanted with it. For a start it presents itself as a horror comedy film, yet it does not really stand up slasher cliches rather it just replicates them.

The clown twist is perhaps the only novel thing about the film, although we have seen it in other films before, just not really in slasher cinema. Once the clowns take over mid-way through the film things start to get more interesting and become more crazy. The teen angst of the first act really slows things down.

The film ends with a decided meh, and that is how I would describe the whole effort really, an effort in meh. It fails in its attempts to be either scary or funny and doesn’t make fun of sub-genre tropes or try and do anything really knew with them.

Overall, it is a streaming film through and through and one that should never have been released in cinemas.

1.5/5

Pros.

A few good kills

It is short

Cons.

The teen angst

The ending

The pacing

Some of the other twists

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A Haunting In Connecticut, Ghosts Of Georgia: A Waste Of Katee Sackhoff’s Time

Summary

A family living in Georgia experiences a haunting in Connecticut.

There is something very noughties about this film, the editing style and the shifts between black and white and colour is quite jarring. Stylistically it feels almost out of place with the decade this film released in, and the effect has a repetitive quality to it.

The lead is terrible, it is hard to say if it is her or if it is the writing, it has her lay in a night gown on her side in a filled bath to show that she is troubled, but it is safe to say that she has taken a class in the Alaqua Cox school of acting as her expression does not really change at all during the film. It is a shame that this film wastes Katee Sackhoff as the secondary female lead she would have been much better in the main role, she easily outshines Abigail Spencer as every turn.

The horror and mystery of the film is very much been there done that, it focuses on a creepy old man ghost hanging out with and bothering a little girl, seen it before, and has the ghosts of this former stop on the underground railroad be central to the horror. It is very early jump scare sort of techniques as they are all very predictable.

Overall, other than Sackhoff there is very little about this film to make it recommendable.

2/5

Pros.

Sackhoff

A few unintentionally funny moments

Cons.

The horror is very predictable

It feels generic

The black and white to colour shift is jarring

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The Lord Of Misrule: Posh Lady Vs The Folk Devil

Summary

A posh English Vicar, Tuppence Middleton, runs afoul of an ancient God.

There is a good sense of place here, and a certain folk tradition, however, as the film progresses you start to realise you have seen this before. The good and fresh ideas that this film presents in the first act that then get turned into repetitive slop in the end.

The mythology of the film’s antagonist is interesting but never fully explained, which feels like a missed opportunity. Ralph Ineson is as always great, however, his character makes little sense, as the opening frames his character in the procession to see off the beast and having lost a son to it, yet then being the evil cult leader servicing the beast in the end.

Whilst I appreciate what this film was trying to do in terms of aesthetics and an adherence to British folk tradition, it was just creatively hallow.

Overall, good ideas wasted with generic storylines.

2/5

Pros.

The ideas

The setting and the feel of it

Cons.

The ending

Making Ineson the villain again

You feel like you have seen it before

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Pirates Of The Caribbean World’s End: Bring Back Johnny Depp

Summary

The pirates cast realise that there is no film without Jack Sparrow and so go to Davy Jones’ locker to get him back.

Watching this re-release makes one even more confident in the belief that Johnny Depp is the heart and soul of the Pirates franchise. Not only does his performance anchor the film, but he is a truly likable protagonist, something that modern Hollywood is lacking.

Despite being a long film this film flies by, and has something for everyone with great action, romance and laughs. There is even a little horror peppered in here and there, for people like me. For the most part the film works well across the board.

The main issue with the film is that there are filler scenes that could easily be cut out, as I said earlier for the most part the film is well paced, however, these filler scenes make the film feel just slightly slower at times and that holds the film back.

Moreover, the film leaves far too many lose ends open and I know they thought they were going to do more films, and did, but considering this is the last film with Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom you would think that they would have given them more of a conclusive ending.

Overall, a near perfect film that just has a few slow scenes holding it back.

4/5

Pros

The action

The romance

The comedy and the horror

It feels like a good ending for the franchise and Jack

Cons

Will and Elizabeth deserve a more definitive ending

A few bloated scenes

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Demon Slayer Infinity Castle: Filler At It’s Most Heinous

Summary

The Demon Slayers are back and now they are having to defend themselves from waves of Demons in the Infinity Castle.

So as the first of the big three Demon Slayer movies to end the series this was better than the previous season, the Hashira Training Arc, which was filler incarnate. Here we got some good fights and the plot advanced along, in many ways that was the problem.

As the plot advanced you were like here we go we are getting somewhere finally things are happening outside of the needlessly long flashback sequences. You had hopes they might even make it out of the infinity castle in this film, and then they hit you with an egregiously long back story for one of the upper rank demons. I understand that the character was important as he had killed the fire hashira in a previous season, but I don’t think anyone was crying out for over half an hour worth of backstory for him.

I would have liked to have seen more from the other characters and see other fights rather than have this one fight dragged out for so long. It did once again feel like filler which is becoming a clear issue with Demon Slayer in both series and film formats as it comes to its end.

Overall, it does advance the plot some and you do get to see some cool fights so I am not entirely cold on it, but I do wish they would work on the filler content and the pacing of these films before they release the next two.

3.5/5

Pros.

The fights

The plot advancement

The scale

The animation itself

Cons.

The pacing

The filler

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Peacemaker Season Two: The Orgy Scene Shows Why Gunn Should Have Stayed Cancelled

Summary

Peacemaker, John Cena, is back and if the prolonged orgy sequence in the first episode is anything to go off James Gunn is indulging all of his questionable tastes.

So I really enjoyed the first season of Peacemaker and thought that it was funny and irreverent, however, that was several years ago and tastes change. What I thought whilst watching this season was that it felt like it was written by a group of teenagers on Reddit. It had a deep sense of immaturity and as though it was just doing things for the shock value of it rather than because they made sense narratively.

Moreover, the whole idea of multiverses has proven universally unpopular across the board, so why Gunn thought to wove that thread into the second season is a little beyond me. The multiverse angle I suppose allows them to fix things from the previous DCEU and reset things going forward, but it still feels like a cheap trick.

The message, the broader progressive sort of call and response, also feels a lot stronger this time around. It is more overt here and it was pretty overt in the first season. In many ways this project feels like Gunn unchained and if it proves anything it is that he needs caging. There is a reason that the Guardians’ films are his best and that is due to the fact that he had oversight and was not allowed to have all the Guardians have an orgy together at the start of the second film.

Overall, James Gunn needs to step away creatively from these films and tv shows, as he is going to run the new DCU into the ground before it has even begun.

1.5/5

Pros.

A few funny lines

Hardcourt, Jennifer Holland, is still excellent

Cons.

The message

The need to be shocking and vulgar

The writing is far more lazy and simplistic

It has pacing issues

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Downton Abbey, The Grand Finale: The Scandal Of A Divorcee Having A One Night Stand

Summary

We return for one last trip to Downton Abbey.

In many ways this film was unnecessary, a lot of it felt like filler, and it didn’t really need to be a thing. However, it was nice escapist entertainment, and allowed you to return to a simpler time for an hour and change.

It did meaningfully close out the series/film saga in such a way as to suggest it is in fact the end. Homage was paid to the earlier seasons of the show, and moments that fans would remember, there was a sense of change that permeated the film, and whilst no major characters died there was enough done to provide a sense of finality.

I would say that Mary, Michelle Dockery, has the most boring plotline, with her being scandalised for her divorce, even in high society people would not have been so precious about it at that time. This stretched incredulity a bit too much. Coupled with the fact that she then had a one night stand and was blackmailed for it, it all seems very American and over the top. That is not what Downton is.

The plotline about Mary taking over Downton and becoming the lady of the house was far more well done and in keeping with the series.

Overall, a solid if somewhat unnecessary third film.

3/5

Pros.

It is fun escapism

There are some cheer worthy moments

The ending hits the right note

Cons.

It is unnecessary

The divorce storyline

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Karate Kid Two: Daniel In Okinawa

Summary

Daniel, Ralph Macchio, goes to Japan.

In many ways I feel similarly about this film as I do the third film in the franchise, really it didn’t need to exist. In many ways it would have been better to have gotten a Karate Kid prequel about a young Mr Miyagi, Pat Mortia, learning Karate in Japan then this.

We see the beginnings of brat Daniel here as well, when he is a whiny little prima donna. There is still some good training sequences wherein he is learning new moves and his interest in Japanese culture is nice to see. However, in how he treats Mr Miyagi and those around him it is clear to see which way the character is heading.

There is some rather outdated and offensive depictions of Japanese culture which feels quite jarring on the rewatch, and the villain of the film imbibes a lot of these qualities and feels almost cartoonish at times. The ending of the film really feels like a natural end point for Daniel’s story.

Overall, it is interesting to have a focus on the background lore of the first film and to explore what Japan looks like in this world, however, more needed to be done to justify this films existence and Daniel is incredibly annoying at times.

2.5/5

Pros.

The focus on the life and lore of Mr Miyagi

Going to a new location

The training sequences

Cons.

Daniel is irritating

It doesn’t need to exist

It is badly paced

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The Fountain Of Youth: Indiana Jones For Beta Males

Summary

John Krasinski does his best Indiana Jones impression.

I don’t understand why Apple TV thought we needed a new globetrotting Indiana Jones esque adventure movie. The last Indie film should have been proof enough against that concept.

Moreover, where films like Indiana Jones and National Treasure were commanded by having a strong lead who was believable in the role, here if anything Krasinski is too soft. He doesn’t have the gruff toughness you would want out of this role, he seems far too affable and silly. He simply reads wrong for the part.

As for the adventure itself it is fairly generic nothing you have not seen before, it is a globe trotting adventure for a magical artifact that in the end they don’t end up taking home as it is too dangerous and needs to be left alone. There is nothing particularly new here, it reads as very low effort adventure fare.

The wider cast are a mixed bag, Eiza Gonzalez is there she has some good fights and has reasonably decent chemistry with Krasinski, Natalie Portman is playing Natalie Portman and is taking an easy pay check. The rest of the cast slip my mind.

Overall, this film shows you why you need a good script and crucially a good idea before you go into filming, simply saying oh they are popular and people like Adventure films, a debatable claim at the moment, is not enough.

2/5

Pros.

Gonzales tries her best

There are a few unintentionally funny moments

Cons.

It is badly paced

It is generic

Krasinski is miscast

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The Sound Of Music: The Best Musical?

Summary

The hills are alive.

I am not a huge musical person I like Sweeny Todd and the Greatest Showman and a lot of the rest such as Grease leave me cold. However, I have to say after years of having only watched parts of this film, that I actually really enjoyed it.

Sure would I have liked more time focusing on the rise of the Nazis and the family having to flee instead of a needless love triangle, of course, but for what it is there is a lot of fun to be had. The songs are all catchy and instantly memorable, I am sure you already know a lot of them, and as such it is hard not to sing along here.

Julie Andrews is infectiously positive herein, and her heroine is nigh on impossible not to root for. She really does inject heart and soul to this film and truly sinks into the character, Maria feels not like some cartoonishly positive person that could only exist in media but like a real person who simply sees the best in the world and wants to help people.

This film is the sort of film one needs to reaffirm their sense of hope every once in a while. It is the very definition of comfort viewing and one that you simply must try if you have not already seen it.

Overall, a wonderful bit of escapist fun.

4.5/5

Pros.

It is fun

The songs are great

It is well paced

Julie Andrews

Cons.

I would have liked more focus to be placed on the rising Nazi threat

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