Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince: Killing Time Whilst J.K Rowling Gets Paid

Despite war being declared, Harry returns to Hogwarts for a 6th year.

This is only marginally better than the previous film, and you will find that the issues I had with that film crop back up here. For example, there is more filler, lots more. Whilst you may be wondering what Voldemort and co are up to, or how they’re taking over the world, you won’t see any of that. Instead, you get a Ron, Rupert Grint, love triangle and even more needless teen angst.

I will give this film that it at least fills in some of Snape’s, Alan Rickman, back story which is interesting and you get to see more of Voldemort’s horcruxes which again is welcome, however, it feels like the build up to another film. Even the death of Dumbledore, Michael Gambon, feels like it should lead to more but then the film just abruptly ends after the central trio decide to go and hunt down the remaining horcruxes.

The more we see of the Death Eaters the more interesting they appear and yet the film never allows us to spend much time with them, even less with the Order of the Phoenix members. Who get next to no screen time.

Overall, too much angst not enough exploration of characters outside the main trio.

2.5

Pros.

Some interesting wider world stuff

The horcrux plot line

More time with the Death Eaters

Cons.

It is slow

It has too much angst

It feels like filler

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Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix: The Wrath Of A Karen

Summary

Harry Potter faces his greatest nemesis yet a karen, Imelda Staunton.

This ties the first film for being the worst in my opinion, there is so much wrong with this from the fact of how the whole film is an act of filler, both in universe as people don’t believe Voldemort has returned, and also in a meta sense as this delays the inevitable war for future films pushing it down the road.

Furthermore, outside of the ending fight this film is a mess of teenage angst and Moody outbursts, it feels far more like a YA film than a fantasy adventure film. Once again I would like to see far more background on the Order members and get to know them, rather than have to go back to Hogwarts yet again.

Moreover, the idea that Dumbledore, Michael Gambon, would allow a teacher into the school who was hurting students as a means of discipline is just ridiculous, and the film goes oh he can’t do anything otherwise the Ministry of Magic will turn on him as a means of explanation. However, the films set him up as such a powerful force that the Ministry wouldn’t dare, and he would never allow a student to be harmed at Hogwarts. It just breaks its own logic.

The dementor scene at the beginning of the film is really the only good one of the entire film.

Overall, filler in everyway.

1/5

Pros.

The dementor scene

Cons.

It is boring

It breaks its own logic

It is filler

It has too much YA garbage in it

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The CCP Kid

Summary

The Smith family have found something they like more than open relationships, and it’s the CCP.

So as a kid and before I was franchise literate I watched this film and liked it, however, after Cobra Kai ended I went back and rewatched all the Karate Kid films and found that this one is likely the worst.

There are two key reasons why this film sticks out for all the wrong reasons. Firstly, it is a shot for shot remake of the original film at times, yes sometimes they try and riff on it and do something different with certain shots, but for the most part it is shot for shot the same. This isn’t a loving homage its damn near plagiarism.

The second is the fact that this film is so in love with the Chinese Communist Party, a party that harvests prisoner’s organs without consent, a party that commits genocide against its minorities, a party that locks away anyone who speaks out of turn. The fact that this whole film feels like its trying to be a visit China advertising campaign makes me feel a little sick.

Overall, a Temu rip off of an American IP.

0/5

Pros.

None

Cons.

The plagiarism

How in love with the Chinese state it is

Smith is bratty right the way through the film

It is boring

Mr Han is no Mr Miyagi

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Karate Kid Legends: New Blood?

Summary

A new Karate Kid is chosen.

So this was a fairly charming film. I was a fan of Cobra Kai and when I heard about this film I was unsure, especially when it was murky whether it would even mention any of the events from the show, however, I have to say the final stinger of the film with Miyagi-Dough made me cheer a little bit inside.

This is a reverse Jaden Smith Karate Kid and has a Chinese boy, Ben Wang, come to America which was interesting. Personally I think the Smith starring film is easily the worst in the franchise so I was not super hyped about the return of Mr Han, Jackie Chan, though he did have a few funny scenes. It is such a shame that Chan has become a whore for the Chinese Communist Party, and all they have done, I used to like him but him being in this makes it hard for me to watch.

Seeing Daniel, Ralph Macchio, was a highlight and I loved how they honoured the legacy of Mr Miyagi, Pat Morita, and managed to bring together the two schools of Kung Fu and Karate.

Was it a bit formulaic? Yes. Did it repeat plot beats from the franchise? For sure. However, there was enough here to make this special and charming.

Overall, probably the best action film of the summer.

4.5/5

Pros.

Daniel

How they honoured Mr Miyagi

The stinger at the end

It was charming

The action was pretty good

Cons.

It was a bit familiar at times

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Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire: A Traumatic One For The Twilight Fans

Summary

Harry enters the Tri Wizard Tournament and Voldemort is reborn.

So this Harry Potter film is easily the best, you have the expanding of the world by seeing the Quidditch World Cup and seeing other countries and how they use magic, as well as seeing the other schools and how they present. I would say though that this film marked the start of the teen angst which comes to linger and ruin the flow of the latter films, whereas at least here it is minor.

There does seem to be a genuine sense of threat during the tournament and the graveyard seen is able to capitalize on that, with it being quite harrowing to watch Voldemort’s return and the death of Cedric, Robert Pattinson. I would have to like to have seen more of the Death Eater trials but I suppose you have to streamline things for theatrical release.

I think the film manages to do a lot to keep the pace moving along nicely with a good mixture of action and character moments with it never slowing down too much as we will soon see with the later films.

Overall, the best Harry Potter has.

4.5/5

Pros.

It allows us to see more of the world

The graveyard scene

The tension

The pace

The opening sequence at the Quidditch World Cup

Cons.

The beginnings of angst.

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Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban: Rats And Dogs

Summary Harry meets his godfather.

This is easily the second best film in the series, I appreciate the more adult tone of it and think that seeing more of the wizarding world such as during the night-bus scene is a credit to the film. The dementors make for excellent monsters for Harry and co to face off with as they are both evil but also fairly unexplored, we know they are a threat without even needing to see them be threatening.

I thought the film almost had a paranoid thriller aspect to it with the prisoner being on the loose and supposedly out to do Harry harm. There was a great sense of tension particularly after the Fat Lady is attacked that really makes you share in the sense of peril.

Lupin, David Thewlis, is one of my favourite characters as he makes an impression right from the off and you really buy his connection to Harry. Finding out more about Lupin and Harry’s Dad as boys was also interesting. The twist is quite well done and you would not realise it unless you had seen it before, I am talking about Timothy Spall’s reveal of course.

Overall, a fun ride with a great gothic charm

4/5

Pros.

The twist

The atmosphere

Exploring more of the world

The past stuff

Cons.

The pacing is off

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Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets: I Hope You’re Not Afraid Of Spiders

Summary

Harry’s second year at Hogwarts brings killer Basilisks and a look at what is to come.

So this is a much better film than the first, outside of the first half an hour which feels like its aimed younger than the later sections of the film, it all feels very in keeping with what I would say is the tone of the series.

Getting background information into Voldemort and seeing the first horcrux is also interesting and helps to flesh out the character beyond just the name. I do find it difficult that Harry did not know Voldemort’s name was Tom Riddle as surely there must be information available about him in the wizarding world and he would want to know who killed his parents, but anyway.

I like the mystery of who has opened the Chamber of Secrets and why are all these students being killed or turned to stone, it feels just the right amount of horror for a film like this. There is a creep factor to it without it being unsuitable for kids.

Overall, a better sequel.

3.5

Pros.

The horror

The tone

Setting things up for the future

Seeing more of the Wizarding World

Cons.

The first hour feels removed from the rest of the film

Too many side plots and angst

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Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone: Out Of Step

Welcome dear reader to the first in a series of reviews I am publishing over the coming few days which will explore the Harry Potter series a few decades on. We will be talking about contemporary issues with the franchise, mainly around the actors and we will be discussing it in depth. I have watched the series many times all the way through and hopefully we can have an interesting conversation along the way.

So straight off the bat I just want to say that I tried to not let my dislike of the actors particularly Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson spoil my enjoyment of these films. I fully stand with J.K Rowling in everything she has said and I think the fact that these actors, who would not have careers without her, so openly disparaging her is disgusting.

Summary

Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe, a young boy finds out he is a wizard.

So this is my least favourite of the Potter films for the simple fact that it feels so disconnected tonally to the others, and it feels like they don’t do enough to build up to the big Voldemort reveal at the end. Now obviously you are bound by the books, but I think that a scene showing more of the aftermath of the fall of Voldemort would have worked well here, we could also get a tease him being on the back of the teacher’s head.

As it stands it feels very generic fantasy, and that makes sense as it is a first film so clearly trying to find it creative voice, but I would have liked more references to the wider lore and world in this film. I suppose the film does introduce us to a number of characters and locations here so that very basic but necessary work is being done but I would have liked it to feel deeper.

Overall, a slow start and one that feels very disconnected from where the series will go tonally.

3/5

Pros

The effects mostly hold up

There are some enjoyable moments

The ending remains strong

Cons.

It needs more explanation of what happened in the world post Voldemort’s defeat

It feels tonally disconnected from the rest of the series

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Andor Second Season Overview: Rape In Space, ICE, and Unfortunate Comments from Diego Luna

Summary

Andor returns for an incredibly slow second season.

In many ways this entire second season was a step back from the first, there was less action, less character development and even more things left open-ended.

The final arc of the second season wherein we were seeing more of the Partisans on the earlier rebellion should have been the main focus of this season, but instead we got wild weddings, an ICE allegory and far too many scenes of Syril’s mother. The first two arcs were boring filler that really added very little to the overall season. How was seeing Mon Mothma dancing for well over 5 minutes in any way necessary to understand the early rebellion. Gilroy has gone on to say that Kathleen Kennedy fought for him to have his vision but maybe just maybe this is one of those times she should have intervened.

Showing the Ghorman Massacre was interesting and probably the high point of the season but again this was far too drawn out with about 5 episodes leading up to the actual massacre. The pacing of this show is really what kills it for me in many ways. Likewise I thought the finale arc mainly revolving around Luthen’s assistant was a weird move as it prevented us getting closure with seemingly much more important characters in the narrative.

Overall, it is watchable but the pace is so bad it will send you to sleep.

2/5

Pro.

The Ghorman Massacre

Some of the earlier Rebellion stuff

Cons.

The pacing

The unanswered questions

Too many side characters

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Star Wars Tales Of The Underworld: Filler As We Wait For Maul

Summary

We get to see the early life of Cad Bane and the resurrection of Ventress.

So I have to say this series hit a sore spot for me, I have been eagerly awaiting a new animated Star Wars offering since Bad Batch went away and when I heard about this and the character focuses I was excited. However, upon watching, it feels like filler, nothing very epic or of consequence happens, and whilst yes it fills in some blanks it is pretty dull. They managed to have Ventress fighting an inquisitor be over in a few seconds, this should have been a big epic duel like when Maul and Ezra fight inquisitors in Rebels but no.

Moreover, in the Ventress centric episodes we see yet another jedi survivor and it is now getting to a point wherein it is taking away from Order 66, if everyone ended up actually surviving then it wasn’t this big event that it is portrayed as in the Star Wars lore. Seeing the kid talking about Quinlan Vos and the Path made me just want to get a Path show, which could give us either an animated or live action Cal Kestis and Merrin. There are projects that would be a slam dunk for Star Wars they just need to commit to them.

Overall, a sad missed opportunity.

2/5

Pros.

It has some interesting ideas and concepts

The inquisitor design is pretty cool

Cons.

It is dull

It feels like filler

It cheapens Order 66

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