Creed III: Why Talk About Your Issues When You Can Be Violent Instead?

Summary

Adonis, played by Michael B. Jordan, has to beat up someone from his past.

I will lay this out right here at the start of the review, I am not a fan of boxing movies and the Creed films have always just to me felt incredibly repetitive. I watched this as I had heard good things, but it ended up being the same old structure rehashed. A new threat emerges, it is established as legitimate, they best or beat the hero in some way, then the hero beats them. It is tiresome and repetitive.

I thought the film really had something when it was discussing and Adonis and Damian, played by Jonathan Majors, were physically abused as kids. This would have allowed the film to talk about deeper themes that can’t just be solved by random violence, but guess what it all just devolves into a punchout. Adonis beat up the abuser when they were kids causing Damian to pull a gun to defend his friend and go to prison, now he’s out and angry and the only way to settle old trauma is with a fight. It is boring.

Despite him now being somewhat problematic Jonathan Majors is the best part about this film and acts circles around Jordan at every turn. I also thought that Tessa Thompson did a really good supporting turn here, and her emotions when Adonis’ mum dies feel very genuine.

Overall, yet another needless sequel that tells the same story we have seen done time and again.

2/5

Pros.

Thompson and Majors

It has a good soundtrack

Cons.

Jordan lacks any range

The story is repetitive

It is afraid of any kind of deeper conversation about violence

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Mummies: The Fight Back Against The British Museum

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A trio of mummies travel from their land of the dead into the human world.

It was nice to see an animated film that was a, not from Disney and b, didn’t feel incredibly American. It was nice that this film had more of a British feel to it, certainly it added a certain sense of charm that no doubt boosted my likelihood of enjoying the film.

I think Joe Thomas did a really good job of anchoring the film and was easily the best voice actor of the bunch, outside of Sean Bean as one could never surpass him. For the most part the voice cast was used well, it was strange that the female lead had a different voice for talking and singing and wider still that they used a white voice actor for the talking voice and an African American R and B artist for the singing voice, it feels problematic.

The songs for the most part aren’t good and feel like they were just added into boost the runtime of the film, which is very short even with them, the only one that was good, in my subjective opinion, was the final rendition of Walk Like An Egyptian.

Overall, a fine Easter holiday distraction for kids, with enough British charm to keep everyone interested.

3/5

Pros.

Thomas and Bean

It is funny

It certainly has British charm

Cons.

It is a noticeable different when the film swaps between the female leads talking voice and singing voice

The story feels very familiar

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Furies: Taking Back The Night In Saigon

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An abused young woman, played by Dong Anh Quynh, joins up with a female outfit dedicated to violently taking down the male dominated criminal underworld of Saigon.

In many senses I was expecting more from this film. I can’t speak to the film that this serves as a prequel to as I haven’t seen it, this was my first entry to the franchise. From the trailer I watched prior to viewing I was expecting beautifully choreographed brutal fight scenes, ala The Raid, but this was a million miles away from that. What surprised me the most in this regard is just how bloodless this film is, like you see people getting shot and stabbed but in terms of genre standards you don’t see much blood. Moreover, the action itself isn’t all that brutal as shots aren’t lingered on to their full effect, there are a lot of quick cuts to give off the illusion of rapid movement, but this isn’t in the films benefit.

Furthermore, the narrative of women getting their own back on evil men is nothing new. In a sense this film feels very similar to the rape revenge sub-genre but with a more action leaning. What’s more, there aren’t really any twists and turns to keep you guessing either, from a narrative lens everything is incredibly obvious and you are never in a position to be surprised. Even when you get the twist at the end you have already seen it coming.

Overall, a subpar action film that doesn’t deliver the goods.

2/5

Pros.

An introduction to Vietnamese cinema

A killer soundtrack

Cons.

The action is bloodless and often cut away from

The story is very pedestrian and familiar

It has pacing issues

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The Boston Strangler: Boston Has Never Looked So Washed Out And Grey

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The story of the Boston Strangler is rebirthed yet again to fit within the modern fad of true crime.

This film is serviceable, that is probably as much of a pro as I am going to give it. There isn’t anything inherently wrong with it, but if you view this alongside films like From Hell or Fincher’s Zodiac then you will see where it falls down.

Keira Knightley does all she can to save this film and her American accent is a thing to behold all its own, but it simply isn’t enough. The film takes what could be quite an interesting true crime story and drags it out and pads it until it is boring and you have long since stopped caring.

The film tries to address the sexism of the period, which we would all just assume is rampant anyway, but again doesn’t go anywhere with it beyond the standard, it was bad back then narrative. Although you can understand why the film does it, the more time it takes out to show us the homelife of Knightley’s character the more you tune out as people are hear for the grizzly crimes and the murder investigation not to learn more about Knightley’s characters strained relationship with her mother.

Overall, a crime thriller without any real bite. Bland at best.

2.5/5

Pros.

Knightley is trying her best

It has some good chills

When it is showing the actual investigation it is interesting

Cons.

Too much filler and padding

Brutal pacing issues

A wasted supporting cast

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Champions: Anyone Can Be A Hero

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Woody Harrelson plays a basketball coach who after getting into a drunk driving accident has to coach an intellectually disabled basketball team.

This film has its heart in the right place. Though some have said that it comes across as patronising towards intellectually disabled people or the issues they face, I found that despite its sometimes questionable messaging that this film was at its heart an uplifting film. Not only that but it goes out of its way to spread inclusivity and the message that anyone can be a champion and that people are so, so much more than how others classify them.

Moreover, I think Harrelson is just curmudgeonly enough to pull this role off. Though I think that the sudden change from this character being a self-interested narcissist to learning to love second place and to be happy with what he has was incredibly rushed. I think his performance commands real emotion and that he has great chemistry with his on-screen love interest played by Katlin Olsen.

The plot is incredibly cliched and generic and all the hallmarks of classic feel good sports films make an appearance, so much so that you could turn it into a bingo game fairly easily if you wanted to.

Overall, a happy uplifting film that doesn’t always land its’ the message.

3/5

Pros.

Harrelson

Olsen

It is uplifting and restores your faith in humanity

Cons.

It is incredibly cliched

It can come off as patronising at times

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The Mandalorian: The Pirate

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Mandalorians are called upon to serve.

I think for the most part this is a great episode of The Mandalorian and showcases the show at the top of its game. Having a fairly large urban warfare sequence wherein we got to see the Mandalorians fighting pirates in the streets was quite cool. I would have liked to see a bit more variety in the armour worn by the Mandalorians, in terms of colour and different elements but clearly the costume department had a budget.

I also thought the final tease that Moff Gideon, played by Giancarlo Esposito, has escaped was nice. I have a feeling that he won’t be the big villain of the season as everything is quite clearly building to the return of Thrawn. Maybe Gideon will have been captured by acolytes of Thrawn or maybe Gideon will have been working for him all along. Either way knowing that Esposito will be coming back to the show in the future gives us something to be excited about.

My one issue with this episode was the stuff with Bo-Katan, played by Katee Sackoff. I don’t understand how she can be the one to reunite all of the Mandalorians despite her not having the dark sabre or even wanting to rule, it seems totally alien to her character to want to go back to a leadership position after how badly things have gone in the past, but maybe the show will address that.

Overall, a good episode but the stuff with Bo-Katan at the end dragged it down for me as it didn’t seem to fit her character.

4/5

Pros.

Seeing the Mandalorians in action

The teases of things to come

Moff Gideon’s escape

Din’s speech

Cons.

Where they take Bo-Katan by the end of the episode and the fact it feels totally out of character for her

Also the New Republic are just awful

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Star Wars The Bad Batch: Plan 99

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Bad Batch faces their darkest day.

I thought this episode felt very impactful, but at the same time I can’t help but be a little let down by it.

The good first. It was nice to see Tech get one final hero moment, it was so clear the season was building to his death, but I didn’t see that until after it had happened. The death was quite emotional and had me welling up a bit whilst watching it, for what it is worth I don’t think he is dead and think he will be back next season. Look at Echo and Maul.

I also thought it was nice to see the Batch finally get their will to fight back at the end of the episode, even if it did take them being betrayed and having Omega kidnapped in order to do it. I think the next season really does need to have the Batch be fighting back against the Empire and less focused on this idea of retiring, they need to accept that Echo was right.

Now the bad. I didn’t like the fact that other than a quick look in at the end of the episode Crosshair barely appeared in this two part season finale. In my head I thought he would escape with the Batch or at least die saving them but no he just stayed strapped to a table the whole time. I found the whole thing very disappointing.

Overall, a good season finale that sets up a lot of interesting things to come, but I found the lack of Crosshair disappointing.

4/5

Pros.

What it sets up

The emotional impact of Tech’s death

The Batch finally getting their groove back

Sid’s betrayal

Cons.

A distinct lack of Crosshair

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Star Wars The Bad Batch: The Summit

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Bad Batch attempt to rescue Crosshair and the other imprisoned clones.

In many senses this episode was anti-climactic.

My main issue with this episode is how it can’t stand on its own and exists almost only to prop up the final episode. Adding to that is the fact that a lot of the things that happen in this episode feel forced, it feels like plot contrivance after plot contrivance all to get the Batch to a specific point despite the fact that they aren’t behaving like they normally would do at any point along the way.

I quite like Saw Guerra as a character and think there is a lot to explore there with his ideology, as such I was happy to see him show up in this episode. However, his whole attitude towards the Batch and how he just happened to be there at the exact same time felt incredibly poorly set up and again to repeat the word of the day contrived.

Overall, a weaker episode made to set up what comes next without having enough to stand on its own.

3/5

Pros.

Returning faces

Hemlock and Tarkin

The things to come

Cons.

It feels contrived

The characters aren’t behaving like themselves

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Kill Her Goats: Softcore Porn Posing As A Slasher Film

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A trio of girls spend almost all the run time posing nude in front of the mirror or taking showers and then at the very end a goat slasher guy shows up to kill them.

Though that summary is a slight hyperbole it is pretty much true. This film is soft core porn, which hey no judgement if that is what you want to watch it for, but in terms of it being a horror film it really isn’t one. For me I found this film to be an act in awkwardness and uncomfortability, I found it to be fairly tasteless and felt a little seedy after watching it all the way through.

The actual slasher segments, which makes up hardly any of the films runtime are fine they are perfectly serviceable and much of what you would expect. Some of the kills do feel a little fetishised, which again added to the ick factor for me, and what I mean by that is that the camera will zoom in on the woman’s boobs as she gets run through or something like that. This film it is pretty clear only has one focus.

The only thing I can give this film props for is that they named the town after the late great Wes Craven which I thought was a nice touch.

Overall, you’ll need a shower after watching it.

1/5

Pros.

The Wes Craven thing

Cons.

It is pervy

It fetishises the kills in an uncomfortable way

The story is largely nonexistent

It makes the slasher sub-genre look bad

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Marlowe: Neeson Appears In The Golden Age Of Hollywood, The Every-man As Ever

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Liam Neeson does his best Humphrey Bogart impression

I feel that as a long time Neeson fan I will be kinder to this film than a lot of people but even for me it never really gets beyond passively watchable. It is fine.

The truth of the matter is you have seen this film countless times before and there is nothing new or exciting being put forward here for you to be interested in. The mystery is entirely predictable and goes on exactly as you would expect. Moreover, something I thought was odd was the fairly light and fluffy tone this film has when compared to other Neo-Noir film, and yes some dark things do happen but by and large this film is almost goofy, having Neeson able to knock people out in one punch.

The films cast is impressive, there are a number of well-known faces who come to call. However, none of them are really given enough to do to elevate them beyond a glorified cameo, but hey everybody has to eat and they probably just came along for the paycheck.

Overall, you will get something out of this if like me generic Liam Neeson action films are comfort viewing and you can almost always get some kind of corny enjoyment out of. However, if you want a serious Neo-Noir film that is good in its own right then look elsewhere.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It has a goofy charm

Neeson is always excellent

Cons.

It is generic

It is incredibly predictable

It wastes its supporting cast

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