Jeepers Creepers Reborn: The Youtube Sketch Parody No One Asked For

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The parody film to the Jeepers Creepers franchise.

I liked Iron Sky and enjoyed what they did with it, but that same style was never going to work with a serious horror film. As such what we get is a joke that takes various elements from the previous films and then spits them back at us through a fake out almost spoof lens. This film wants desperately for you to take it seriously, but ultimately it is so damned goofy and silly that it is almost impossible to do so.

Moreover, you can really tell this film was made on the cheap. Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with small budget films, but this one does it in all the worst sort of ways. It gives us lots of close up shots of the Creeper, and he just looks like a dude in body paint. This film goes out of its way to make the Creeper as tame and non-threatening as possible. Also don’t get me started on the baby cult thing.

Really I found there to be nothing redeemable about this film.

Overall, awful just awful.

Pros.

It is laughably bad at times

Cons

It is basically a parody of the series

The Creeper looks awful

The cult of the Creeper thing destroys the monster

It is not scary

It is aggressively average

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Hocus Pocus: Is It The Season Of The Witch

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A trio of witches are resurrected in the modern day by a group of kids.

For a long time I had heard what a Halloween season classic this film was, but had personally never seen it. Now after having watched it I can see the appeal, but I wouldn’t call it a classic.

In my mind this has a very American, very Disney feel to it everything is very comfortably middle class everyone is very white and there is no real peril throughout. Now am I saying that is inherently a bad thing? Not necessarily as sometimes that is the sort of film you want, I enjoyed the whimsy of the film and thought the horror elements were there enough to keep me engaged.

The kids were all fairly bland as they often are in these sort of films, they have very basic issues like relationships and having just moved to town but that isn’t really enough to get you to care about them. The witches played by Sarah Jessica Parker, Bette Midler, and Kathy Najimy far much better and are far more defined, your feeling towards these characters will determine whether you like this movie or not. Personally, I liked all of them and thought they all had their own moments to shine, I would have liked a little more backstory on their part and further character development but it’s a family film so that is unlikely.

Overall, a lot of fun but nothing particularly astonishing.

Pros.

It is fun

The witches are all entertaining

It has a low-fi charm

It has a number of good jokes

Cons.

The witches could be better developed

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Night Of The Living Dead: They Are Going To Get You

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The original zombie film.

Another classic horror film that left me rather cold. Now I can see the merit of the film and I think the social commentary is fairly daring for the time period, especially the ending, but I also thought that the film suffered from pacing issues galore. Whilst watching there were multiple times I thought the film was surely about to end, but then it just kept going.

This film didn’t really do anything new with zombies from my modern perspective, however, it was hugely influential to their development at the time. I thought the zombies here were more goofy than scary, I understand that it was a low budget film but the make up on the zombies doesn’t even look remotely convincing, they look more like angry people who have had a bad day then the undead.

I thought the performances across the board were fairly solid with Judith O’Dea and Duncan Jones both being worthy of being singled out for praise.

Overall, a very important film at the time but one that struggles in the modern landscape.

Pros.

The performances

The social commentary

It is watchable

Cons.

It is goofy

The zombie make up effects aren’t very good

It has terrible pacing issues

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She-Hulk: Ribbit And Rip It

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

She-Hulk finally brings in Daredevil, played by Charlie Cox, and it produces one of the best episodes of Marvel Disney + content yet.

This was a magnificent episode, Tatiana Maslany was great and so was Charlie Cox. The central case of the episode really did just play second fiddle to the blossoming relationship between Jen and Matt, which by the way when that hit it was the biggest fist in the air moment ever. I think Jen is at her most likeable here and you really do feel for her when Matt goes back to New York. I personally hope that maybe in the last episode she moves out their and starts her own practice and the two can explore things a bit more, but hey maybe that is just a fan fiction dream.

I also really enjoyed the end of the episode were things took a sharp dark turn. At first I was about to role my eyes that the big villain of the series is an organisation of incels, but then I thought about it and realised that it was actually perfect. The fact that not only do they steal Jen’s blood but they also try and slut shame her makes the fight so personal, and I really liked the fact that we saw her truly hulk out at the end, my one note is that I would have liked to see her go way more savage like full on berserker, but I guess this isn’t the audience for that.

Overall, this episode made up for all the wine mum jokes, all the awkward feminist rants, all of the man hating and the god awful mess they made of Titania.

Pros.

Jen really comes into her own here

The surprisingly dark twist at the end of the episode

Seeing Jen sort of hulk out

Bringing in Daredevil

Jen and Matt were a great couple

Cons.

I would have liked to see Jen go way more hardcore at the end of the episode

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The Birds: Why Is Hitchcock A Cinematic Icon? I Don’t Get It

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A woman with too much time on her hands, played by Tipi Hedren, starts getting attacked by birds.

I am going to say something that within some film circles is the highest form of blasphemy so get ready. I don’t really like the films of Alfred Hitchcock, I think they are often slow and badly paced, and more often then not seem to think they are smarter than they actually are. His films have a certain smugness to them, the only one I actually like is Psycho.

Anyway, I did not think this was the worst film I have ever seen but I did think it was boring. Scene after scene of Hedren’s characters personal drama as she obsesses over a man she met in a pet shop, played by Rod Taylor. Honestly it is quite a ways into the film where the titular birds start to turn bad until that point you would be forgiven for thinking you are watching some old fashioned drama/romance film. The pace during this early section is so bad that it almost made me turn it off.

I enjoyed the cinematography and the shot choice and would even go so far as to say a few of the shots were quite inspired, but this didn’t make up for the wider short comings of the film. Chief amongst these I would say were the performances that frequently felt quite wooden.

Overall, painfully slow.

Pros.

A few strong shot choices

Visually a beautiful film

Cons.

It is badly paced

The birds don’t turn bad until way into the film

The performances are fairly wooden

It is boring

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Bros: Insulting Your Audience

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The first big studio rom-com to feature same sex leads, if you ignore Love Simon and a few others.

Honestly I just didn’t think this film was very funny. Somewhere in between all the jokes about how straight people are lame and the gross out sex gags I found myself questioning why for such an important film for a number of reasons they didn’t do their best to at least give it a good script and a few passable jokes. The humour of this film is at times aggressively unfunny and by that I mean that the film is actively angry at you for not laughing along with it, thinking that every joke made is the peak of comedy and that you are just a philistine for not laughing.

Another thing going against this film is the star Billy Eichner. Now I have seen Eichner before in a few other things and I stand by the idea that in small doses his particular shtick is funny, however, being exposed to it for over an hour proves to be unbearable. Additionally, Eichner’s character really isn’t particularly likeable and I found it hard to root for his happiness. Adding to that are the comments Eichner has made post release wherein he has said the reason the film has underperformed is not because of a weak script or unfunny jokes but because audiences are homophobic. Though this is true to an extent, it reeks of someone on the defensive lashing out because their ego got hurt, it also does nothing to make an audience want to see the movie because why support a star who is calling them names?

Overall, this film is important there is no doubt about that, but sadly what we got was incredibly mediocre with a leading man who is ill suited to the task.

Pros.

It is an important step forward for diversity within film

It is watchable

Cons.

Eichner is no leading man

It is unfunny

It has terrible pacing

It repeatedly lampoons straight people and then expects that audience to come out and support the film.

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She-Hulk: The Retreat

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Jen, played by Tatiana Maslany, heads to a retreat for a few days to try and get over the fact a guy she likes hasn’t text her back.

Once again the show promised Daredevil and didn’t deliver, like I have said before I am now convinced that he won’t show up until a post credits scene in the final episode and he will have been used to try and draw in audiences who don’t care about a show about a whiny, spoilt white girl who has a series of wine mom issues and first world problems.

I would say however in favour of this episode that it is probably one of the better ones of the series and has Jen actually think about how she views herself which I thought was interesting to see. I liked the character growth she got, and thought that bringing back Tim Roth’s Abomination was a very good idea. Fun was had.

I didn’t like that during her therapy scenes they used actual tweets about the She-Hulk show as why she feels bad about herself, as I think this just makes the show look petty. Likewise I also think it is a bad look when one of the main stars of the show Jameela Jamil has to go on the record saying about how much the show has upset men, as though all criticism against the show is sexist. It makes the whole production look like it has a chip on its shoulder.

Another thing that I thought was bad, please do believe though I am finding all these negatives with the episodes it probably is one of the better ones, is the fact that Jen’s latest potential love interest is revealed to be a villain. This continues the shows obsession with every none established male character having to be bad or incompetent in some way, though I suppose her therapy buddies do kind of balance things out on that front.

Overall, better but still not good, luckily there is only a few episodes left.

Pros.

Maslany and the focus on Jen

Bringing back Roth

The therapy scenes

Cons.

Still no Daredevil

Continued man bashing

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Village Of The Damned: Beware The Stare

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After a mysterious incident all the women of a small town fall pregnant, a while later their offspring develop otherworldly abilities.

I want to preface this review by saying that I have never read The Midwich Cuckoos before, as such I was unfamiliar with the story. Had I seen one of the other numerous adaptions beforehand or shared some familiarity with the story I may not have enjoyed it as much.

I thought this film was really well done, it did a lot of work with atmosphere and had a show but don’t tell sort of approach to the film’s monsters. I have always found there to be something slightly disconcerting about little children especially when they gather together as such this film was bound to trigger fears in me. I thought the ‘evil’ kids here had a well-acted alien quality to them and I don’t know if they were inspired by the classic idea of the black eyed children within folklore, but if so they added a whole new dimension to it.

I also thought the pacing was really well done, far too many modern horror films try and cram in as much artsy imagery and subtext as they can bloating the film into a multi-hour behemoths which then lose sight of their scares, whereas this film does it right. I thought the runtime was tight and left just the right amount of plot to the imagination.

Overall, a very effective creepy kids movie.

Pros.

The scares

The atmosphere

The pacing

The performances

Cons.

It is a little antiquated

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Andor: Aldhani

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Andor, played by Diego Luna, embarks on a heist and the embers of the rebellion begin to form.

I think this was a very good episode and way better than a lot of the other Disney + Star Wars shows we have had so far, however, I would say that it is a step back from what we got last week. This is very much a talking set up episode, which by no means is a bad thing as we will get to, but it does mean that the episode suffers with pacing issues. I think the worst thing about pacing in this episode is where it leaves off on, as the ending of the episode just feels like a random cut to black in the middle of a scene.

I enjoyed the scenes with Stellan Skarsgard’s Luthen, it is nice to see that he is a man of many faces. I have no idea where his story is going but I am excited to find out. Moreover, I thought his scenes with Mon Mothma, played by Genevieve O’ Riley, were really strong, and I thought that O’ Riley was really starting to shine in the role.

I also thought the heist planning scene was a lot of fun later in the episode, I liked the fact they built a model diagram and that yet again it seems like Cassian will be doing a suicide mission. I thought the two stand outs of the Cassian scenes were Faye Marsay as Vel and Alex Lawther as Nemick, both instantly created memorable and likeable characters who I want to see more off.

Overall, a slower episode but still one that is a lot of fun.

Pros.

Seeing more of Luthen

O’ Riley’s Mothma

The heist planning scene was a lot of fun

Seems like there is a lot to be excited for later in the season

Cons.

Pacing issues, mainly where they choose to end the episode

Not a lot happens

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The Horror Of Dracula: From Transylvania To Klausenberg

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A retelling of the classic Dracula tale.

I have long heard that this is one of the definitive takes on the classic novel, however, now after seeing I think that it lacks a certain something. Obviously, I am approaching this old film with modern sensibilities so some things will be lost in translation, but I think that it really suffers from clearly being very low budget. Now I know Hammer Horror was low budget and campy and that was all part of the charm, but I think here due to limitations Dracula, played by Christopher Lee, was able to be set up as a truly terrifying threat.

Moreover, I also think that this film makes a number of odd changes to the book that seem to serve no purpose other than to be confusing, as for the most part it is just swapping around character names and backstories somewhat. I don’t really understand why the film did this as it certainly didn’t add anything.

However, the incredibly strong positive this film has going for it is the legendary Christopher Lee, who easily blends into the role of Dracula and I thought was able to make the role his own and put his personal spin on it. Lee saves this film from mediocrity.

Overall, a very average film pushed up by Christopher Lee.

Pros.

Lee

It is very watchable

The final battle

Cons.

It makes strange changes to the source material for no real reason

It’s low budget hurts it in places

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