Horns: Where Brooding Meets Teen Angst

Horns is a fantasy horror romance film directed by Alexandre Aja, based on the Joe Hill book of the same name. The plot sees Ig (Daniel Radcliffe), have to clear his name after the brutal death of his girlfriend, aiding him in that effect is the fact that he has started to grow horns. These horns allow people to be completely honest with Ig and tell him their darkest thoughts and desires.

Having for once read the book, before viewing, I can honestly say that this film is a pale imitation. In the process of turning a novel into a film obviously a lot of things will be left out, there has to be some degree of translation, but this film misses out keys themes and plot lines from the book whilst also shoe horning in moments to act as a kind of fan service to book readers.

The obvious demonic metaphor is more easily conveyed here, as we can see his transformation. Though said change is interesting initially, it soon becomes a bit repetitive. Ig is surprised that people don’t seem bothered by his horns, this makes sense the first time not the 30^th. The final devil design is okay it is a little underwhelming as I was hoping for something grander.

The acting is okay, Radcliffe manages just about to keep an accent for the entirety of the runtime, but he is not as strong an actor here as he is today. For me this film just felt a bit too teen angsty, trying too hard to be edgy, I don’t know maybe I have just outgrown it.

Overall, it is perfectly serviceable, but it does not fully embrace the concept of the book and it feels too broody which becomes cringey the longer the film goes on.

Pros.

A few strong moments

The transformation

Cons.

It beats plot points over the head

It leaves key details out

It feels very teen angsty

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Hellbound,HellRaiser 2: I Never Knew Hell Was This Boring

Hellbound Hellraiser 2 is a slasher horror film directed by Tony Randel. The film serves as a continuation of the first film with hero Kirsty (Ashley Lawrence), venturing into the world of the cenobites to try and save her dead father. However, once she arrives she realises that there is more afoot than she first thought.

So, Clive Baker’s involvement with this film is much less than in the first and you can feel that in all the worst ways. Clearly, this sequel was made because the first was a success, but without a reason other than that for it to exist. It doesn’t add much to the first film and honestly, throughout its entire runtime it never justifies its existence.

The plot is messy and muddled, there is a lot of different things going on at the same time, far too many, and things quickly get muddled; this film goes out of its way to be exposition heavy and it really suffers for it. The issue with the writing in this film is it explains its lore a bit too much and unless you’re taking detailed notes you won’t really understand what is going on, but you will feel bored.
Also the cenobites themselves are worse here as they are the main focus. Part of the reason Pinhead (Doug Bradley), was so effective in the first film was because he was a demon of few words he was enigmatic, the few scenes we had teased us but didn’t give anything up; he was given limited screen time. However, here he is front and centre and by giving him this limelight he is demystified and though he is not the main villain here, that is some other throw away character, his presence is felt far too much.

Overall, a sequel that shows everything wrong with the concept.

Pros.

Some cool imagery

Cons.

Overusing Pinhead

Far too much exposition

So many throw away characters

It never justifies its existence

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Blood From Stone: Even Vampires Go On Benders, Blood-lust Quenched

Blood From Stone is a vampire western film directed by Geoff Ryan. The plot follows decades old vampire Jure (Vanja Kapetanovic), as he goes on a rampage killing human victims left and right. Revealing himself in the process.

When I first thought vampire western, I imagined it literally, and while this is not that, it is so much more. This feels more like a character study to me, a study in what happens to a person, or in this case a vampire, when they have been denied something they desire for a long time. We see that relapse in all its gory splendour here.

This is a tale of two vampire primarily and though Darya (Gabriella Toth), is a strong character in her own right this is really Jure’s film. I would be remiss if I didn’t take this opportunity to say that both Toth and Kapetanovic both give terrific performances. There is something broken in Kapetanovic’s performance which just feels so right for this role.

The horror of this film is not really the sort that makes you jump; it is more akin to dread. Think about how you feel when you watch a biopic knowing it’s a sad ending, or when you watch a film about banker robbers knowing they can’t keep getting away. You get that feeling right from the off and you know it is all going to end poorly, but you can’t help but watch and hope that it doesn’t.

Overall, a very tragic but also fascinating film that enthrals you from the get-go.

Pros

Kapetanovic

Toth

The horror

The sense of dread

The ending

Cons

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Borat 2: Timely?

Borat Subsequent Movie Film (Or Borat 2), is a mockumentary comedy film directed by Jason Woliner. The plot this time around sees Borat (Sasha Baron Cohen) and his daughter Tutar (Maria Bakalova), venture back to America to try and restore Kazakhstan’s lost honour.

The long-awaited sequel arrives! To thunderous applause from some, I however, am more mixed. I thought though there were funny moments to be had, and Borat as a character is still charming and easy to watch, everything this time around just felt a bit more fake. I know Cohen went undercover for the role, but the people seem just a bit too eager to go along with everything he says and for the most part, don’t question anything, which is more than a little odd.

The film does struggle in my mind to justify its existence. Yes, it does deal heavily with American politics, so I guess an argument can be made for that being timely, but for the most part it just treads down paths that have already been done better by others before it.

The daddy daughter dynamic was fun, and it did lead to some nice heart-warming moments. I found Bakalova to be a lot of fun, she even managed to upstage Cohen a few times. It was quite a breakout for her.

Overall, though there is still some fun to be had this film doesn’t further the characters very much and feels slap dash to meet the election. I do hope this is the last we see from this character for a while.

Pros.

Cohen

Bakalova

A few good jokes

Cons.

It doesn’t justify its existence

It is disappointing and pails in comparison to the first film

It feels fake

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Honest Thief: Jai Courtney Always Popping Up When You Least Expect Him, And Certainly Don’t Want Him

Honest Thief is an action thriller film directed by Mark Williams. The plot sees successful bank robber Tom (Liam Neeson) try and confess to his crimes after meeting a woman, who he falls in love with, he hopes that by confessing they can have a life together. However dirty cops frame him for the murder of a fellow agent, and he must prove his innocence.

So, this is about what you would expect, it is your standard Liam Neeson schlock, he uses his skills to defeat the baddies prove that he is a good guy and that’s that. There, that’s the plot summed up in a line. However, for me I am not watching these films for their plot I am watching these films to watch Liam Neeson in ever more preposterous situations, and hey I was not disappointed here.

Ultimately, the film is quite generic. It is nothing you haven’t seen before, there are some tense moments that give the film so watchability, but really the only thing that keeps you invested is Neeson, if he wasn’t in it this film would be trash.

Jai Courtney is in this film, yes he hasn’t just faded into obscurity as you and I had believed far from it he is the villain of the piece. In this film he reminds us all why he is rarely cast, though it is fun to watch him be terrorised by Neeson.

Overall, your enjoyment of this film will come down to how much you like Liam Neeson and his schlocky action films.

Pros.

Liam Neeson

How over the top it is

It is almost funny at times, obviously unintentionally

Cons.

Jai Courtney

It is generic

The action leaves quite a lot to be desired

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Over The Moon: Emotionally Prepare Yourself For This One

Over The Moon is an animated fantasy film directed by Glen Keane. The plot sees Fei Fei (Cathy Ang), struggle with her father moving on after the death of her mum, so she ventures to the moon to prove that love is eternal and forever, based on the notion of the Chinese Folktale of the moon goddess and her lost love.

Comparing this to Pearl Studios other recent feature Abominable, this is the worse of the two. My main complaint of the film is that it is just too sad, it is depressing especially for a kid’s film and I left it feeling bummed out. I understand a lot of kid’s films deal with dark themes but this one fails to balance the tone; the songs and the bright colourful characters aren’t enough.

That said the songs are probably the best part of this film, moon goddess Chang’e (Phillipa Soo), has a number of great songs that are really fun and lively; and also impossible not to dance along to. Chang’e is probably the best of the supporting cast, who are mostly wasted in forgettable minor roles. This film has people like Sandra O, Ken Jeong and John Cho in it, but it barely uses them.

Also there is something about the animation style that I just don’t like, I think the character models look a bit too CGI, a bit too clean, there is something quite uncanny about them that I found disconcerting over time.

Overall, quite an emotional story that will connect with some more than other, though it doesn’t balance its tone and ends up feeling depressing. Likewise it wastes its talented cast and has some iffy animation.

Pros.

The songs

Chang’e/ Philippa Soo

Trying to have a mature conversation in a kid’s film

Cons.

The animation is off

It is depressing

It wastes its talented cast

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Witches (2020): Suitable For Kids?

The Witches (2020) is a family fantasy horror film directed by Robert Zemeckis. The plot follows a young boy (Jahzir Kadeem Bruno), who discovers that Witches are very real after he and his Grandmother (Octavia Spenser), become targets.

This is not like the other film version in a number of ways, there is a clear effort to set this one apart from the other adaption as well as the book version, there is a lot of added material that is not in the book or other film. While not all of this new stuff works, I am glad they added new scenes and plot lines as it allows this film to feel like it stands on its own rather than just being another remake.

There are also a lot of things in this film that I question whether they are appropriate for a children’s film. There are mentions to things like suicide, which is used as a sort of joke, as well as the arms scene which I would specifically draw light to. The arms scene is actually quite scary, there is something about the uncanny valley nature of the scene that adds to it and makes it scarier, it looks like something out of the recent IT films only better done.

I didn’t like the ending, I thought having them all stay mice doesn’t really work and pushes the film into a ridiculous territory that makes it end on more of a jokey note, which cheapens the entire experience.

Octavia Spenser is terrific and makes the film as well.

Pros.

Spenser

The new additions

The arms scenes/ some genuine scares

Cons.

Not really suitable for kids

The ending is laughably bad

The supporting cast, namely Tucci is given nothing to do.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Unhinged: Bait

Unhinged is a thriller film directed by Derrick Borte. The plot sees angry man Tom Cooper (Russell Crowe), have a mental break and go on a rampage after his wife leaves him, he takes to the streets to harass, terrorise, and kill people who he deams rude drivers or those who slight him.

This is the film that told the pandemic to do a hike and came out in cinemas anyway, the film that refused to go straight to streaming and said it was too tough for that. It made you risk your health to prove your machismo.

This film is clearly made for a certain type of person, it takes multiple digs at modern culture, and seems to hate anything that was popular after the year 2000. The weird way that the film gives Tom Cooper’s character anti hero like qualities is troubling as it is almost condone this character, that is clearly the villain here.

The central family that become Cooper’s victims are so incredibly bland that I seem to have purged them for my mind, all I can remember is that the kids is incredibly irritating and talks in a way no other human child has ever talked before.

The pulpy schlock of it can only go so far before it just starts to feel lazy, the scares don’t really land because the film can’t seem to decide whether it is secretly trying to praise Cooper and his actions.

Overall, a skinhead action film if ever there was one, that seems to be at odds with the modern world and proud of it. Crowe is clearly trying which makes the whole affair sadder as it shows how far he has fallen.

Pros.

Crowe is trying

Cons.

The central family is generic

The kid is annoying

It can’t seem to settle on how it wants to depict the violence and aggression

It seems to be oddly dated

It has some unpleasant undertones

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Tenebre: Inspiration Comes In Many Forms

Tenebre is an Italian giallo mystery film directed by Dario Argento. The plot follows American novelist Peter Neal (Anthony Franciosa), who while in Rome promoting his new book becomes wrapped up in a string of murders that seems to have taken inspiration from his narrative.

This film sits somewhere in between The Bird With The Crystal Plumage and Cat O’ Nine Tails for me, which is to say it is somewhere in the middle of those two extremes, it is a pleasant middle ground. This is a clear return to his roots for Argento as it is far less supernatural in delivery then this other late 70’s early 80’s films and goes back to ‘classic’ giallo; though it still does have a religious spirit to it.

I thought the pacing was strong and the mystery kept you guessing up until the last minute. The twist is nothing new, it has been done many times before, but I didn’t see it coming here and though familiar it still had the desired effect and I was shocked.

The kills, which are a big part of Argento’s contribution to giallo, where somewhat anti climatic for me, compared to his earlier films. Yes, they were suitably bloody and theatrical, but it felt like he was running out of ideas here.

The acting is quite strong, Franciosa is left to do most of the heavy lifting which he does with ease, whilst also captivating your attention for the entirety.

Overall, good but not quite BWTCP levels. A break may have been needed.

Pros.

The mystery

The pacing and acting

Back to his roots

Cons.

Weak supporting cast

The kills lack enthusiasm

3/5

Reviewed by Luke