Hell House LLC 3: The Big Finale

Hell House LLC 3 is a found footage horror film also serving as the final film in the Hell House LLC series, carrying on from the events of the previous 2 films. The plot this time around sees the Abaddon Hotel being opened up to the public once again, with the malicious idea behind it being to trap innocent souls in hell, however, there is a twist.

After the ending of the last film this film had a lot to live up to, and until the final 10 minutes I would have said it didn’t. The majority of the film is pretty standard a group of people go to the Abaddon Hotel increasingly threatening spooky stuff happens until they all die. I don’t know about you, but I was expecting more after the ending of the second film, I thought we might get to see demons or at least more of the cult, but we don’t get that, and I was disappointed.

However, the final ridiculous reveals is not only awesome, but it singly handily saves the film. This reveal is that Russell Wynn (Gabriel Chytry), a mysterious millionaire who has been mentioned several times in the series, but never actually appeared is in fact an Angel. Throughout the film we the audience are led to believe that there is something off about Russell that had to do with his car accident years ago, I incorrectly assumed he was going to be a demon or maybe even the Devil himself; how wrong I was.

This film reveals that only an angel can close an Earthly portal to Hell, and that God himself brought Russell back from the dead as an Angel so he could get to the Abaddon Hotel portal and close it, there is a montage showing Russell being there for all the main events of the series and it really helps to create an epic conclusion.

I also really liked Russell’s interactions with the original films cast who show up at the end as ghost who Russell tells to move on, saying he closed the portal they opened. The whole Russell twist is just fantastic on so many levels.

Overall, this film takes the trilogy out with one Hell of a bang. Marvellous stuff.

Pros.

Russell.

The Ending.

The recontextualization of the whole series.

Strong characters/ memorable moments.

Cons.

The editing is a little jarring.

The film before the big reveal is a bit disappointing.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Hell House LLC 2: Once More Into The Fray

Hell House LLC 2 is a found footage horror film directed by Stephen Cognetti, it is a sequel to 2015’s Hell House LLC. The plot picks up 8 years after the events of the first film and shows that the Abaddon Hotel is still drawing people in especially after the documentary shown in the first film went viral. This time around a new group of characters venture into the oppressive depths of the hotel in search of answers and unexplored evidence.

This is very much a middle film, what I mean by that is that it doesn’t really exist as a film in it’s own right, it ties up the first films plot threads and sets things up for the big finale, but as a film taken away from the other two it can’t exist; it is in no way standalone.

However, the two things it sets out to do it does well, as someone who has seen the first film I was able to keep up with the plot as it ran back and forth between all the different characters and tied the first and second film together in many interesting ways. I thought it was interesting to see the characters from the first film come back in relation to the new mysteries as it added more depth to their characters and expanded the lore as a whole.

On the same note, a lot of this film sets up things for the third film, the big finale. It adds to the history of the house and its inhabitants and sets up huge stakes for the third; it teases the literal apocalypse. These new additions are cool and it is nice to see the lore thicken, however I do wish that this film had focused a bit more on itself rather than its predecessor and it’s then forthcoming next iteration, because the plot of this film just feels like an afterthought.

Story wise this is defiantly the worst of the 3 films as there is very little point to it, beyond what I have already explained, the characters aren’t really important, expect for the big bad introduced at the end. You don’t really care about them and their motivations for being at the house feel forced at best.

Overall, this film is crushed under the weight of the other two entries as it tries too hard to set up a wider mythology, however, it is still an entertaining found footage horror film, and it is interesting to see more about the house; definitely still worth a watch just not on the same level as the first film.

Pros.

Still has some good scares.

The wider mythology.

The big bad.

Cons.

Weak characters.

It feels unimportant.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Hell House LLC: A Harrowing Haunted House

Hell House LLC is a found footage horror film directed by Stephen Cognetti. The film is set out like a documentary trying to find out what happened at the Abaddon Hotel. Prior to the events of the film there was a massacre at the opening night of the Abaddon Hotel, but no one really knows what really happened as there has been a massive cover-up surrounding it. So, the team set out to find out what happened, which is made easier as they’re given a bunch of video tapes by the group of people who bought the haunted hotel.

This is a film very much in the same vein as Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity, it is a found footage film about people going missing and a supernatural cult; sound familiar? Most of these found footage films are the same, they follow a formula, group of people start recording on a camera for whatever reason, things start to get scary, one or more of them get possessed, they all mostly die. Hell House LLC follows this formula to the tee, most of the events in this film are predictable and you have seen the same thing play out in many other films.

However, for a samey found footage film this is still an incredibly good horror film. It genuinely scared me and stayed with me long after the credits rolled. Some of the tense claustrophobic sequences with things happening in tight corridors are genuinely frightening because you feel trapped just like the characters; you feel like you’re in their shoes.

The ending leaves itself open to a sequel, adding a new addition to the mythology which is a nice twist. I can’t wait to watch the sequels and I hope they live up to this film.

Overall, a genuinely quite scary found footage film that might not add anything new to the saturated subgenre, but it does manage to produce a lot of good scares and chills.

Pros.

Good scares.

Genuinely frightening.

It stays with you.

Great ending.

Cons.

There is nothing new or original about it.

4/5.

Reviewed by Luke

The Hunt: Politics In America

The Hunt is a satirical horror film directed by Craig Zobel. The plot sees a group of far-left extremists gather together a group of people who have written mean stuff about them online and then hunt them down. They perceive the people they are hunting as right wing and as a scourge to society; the film goes out of its way to satirise the current political climate making a joke out of both sides.

Before I get into the review let me just say that this film is incredibly political, it rams politics down your throat, so if you don’t like that sort of thing don’t watch it. When I first started the film, I didn’t like the politics of the film, I thought it felt jarring and dated, however as the film went on and I saw more of it and crucially more of the satire, I realised that it was actually really well done and funny.

This isn’t a horror film that is the pivotal misconception it is far more of a dark comedy; the film is actually really funny at times and has some great laugh out loud moments. Betty Gilpin who plays Snowball has the majority of these funny lines and is by far the standout performer in this film, she is a great action heroine.

The gore and action of the film is also surprisingly good, these sequences are both tense, but also humorous. The bit when two shopkeepers kill three of the captives at the beginning of the film, is really well done it is tight and exciting.

Hilary Swank plays the films villain Athena and she to is excellent. She plays the manic cult leader type so well it seems eerily real; she is a great love to hate the villain. The fight scene she shares with Gilpin in the final act is fantastic it is well choreographed and Swank brings a great physicality to the role which is matched perfectly by Gilpin.

Overall, this film is not going to be to everyone’s taste, but if you stick with it and let the satire work on you it will make you laugh, Gilpin and Swank are both giving it their all and it makes for a great overall experience.

Pros.

It’s funny.

Gilpin and Swank are both great.

The action scenes are superb.

The premise is intriguing.

Cons.

The politics will be off putting for some.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Boar: Bloody Bacon

Boar is an Australian horror film directed by Chris Sun. The film follows a young family that goes on a trip into the Australian wilderness whilst there they are hunted down and terrorized by a giant wild boar with a taste for human flesh. The film features Australian legend John Jarrett, as one of the men who investigate the fence post destruction and discover the boar.

This is classified as a horror film, but it isn’t, it can’t be. This is a film where you have a man singing and dancing along to Vanilla Ice, and a film where the villain is a giant boar; that alone puts it in comedy horror territory. This film reminded me in a lot of ways of the New Zealand film Black Sheep, both tonally and because of their animal villains.

I enjoyed this film, it was a lot of dumb fun, the boar itself was ridiculously over the top and its kills were gory to the extreme. This film gets the gore just right it is not grotesque, but it does love to show off its bloody spectacle. The special effects on the boar itself are good, you do get a good look at it a number of times and it doesn’t look fake even when it has people hanging out of its mouth.

My one complaint about this film is that it wastes John Jarrett, his character gets killed off fairly early into the film and I kept saying to myself surely that wasn’t his end he must be coming back, but he never does, I understand that in a film like this the characters aren’t important and it is all about the monster, but it still felt like a missed opportunity.

Overall, this film manages to balance comedy and horror well, it makes you laugh when it is trying to be funny and it makes you wince and recoil when it is trying to be scary, a very entertaining film.

Pros.

The boar looks good.

The gore is impressive.

It is funny.

It is good dumb fun.

Cons.

The human characters are underdeveloped and wasted.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Devils Candy: Metal Vs Satan

The Devil’s Candy is a horror film directed by Sean Byrne. The plot follows a family that moves into a new house, once there the father of the family Jessie (Ethan Embry), starts hearing strange songs that lead him to black out and paint hellish pictures. As well as this the former resident of the house Ray (Pruitt Taylor Vince), has become possessed by the spirit of the song and has been sacrificing kids to a demonic entity and now has his sights set on the daughter of the family Zooey (Kiara Glasco), that has just moved into his former home.

This film has so much personality, there really isn’t much else like it. A metal themed horror film, that has periodical interludes which cut to a TV exploring the history of Satan. The metal theme really appealed me to, and I thought it made the film feel very original and fresh.

The film had a great off kilter approach to horror, it always did the unexpected it was never predictable. This film was genuinely scary, the paintings that the father did were scary, the overall atmosphere of the film was tense and oppressive, and the threat posed to the children felt frighteningly real.

This film stayed with me long after I watched it, it left me genuinely unsettled.

My one issue with this film was that it was not fun to watch, it was very grim and unpleasant throughout, however that is what a horror film is supposed to be right? Are horror films even supposed to be enjoyable, surely to be scared is not an enjoyable experience. Whatever your answer to that, I think this film will strike a very specific chord with people and will scare even the most die hard, hardened horror fans.

Overall, I think this film is a triumph as far as metal cinema goes and it is a triumph for horror as well, however it is not an enjoyable film to watch.

Pros.

Deeply unique.

Metal themed.

Genuinely scary.

An off-kilter approach to horror.

Cons.

It isn’t very enjoyable.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

47 Meters Down Uncaged: A Shark Attack Film Where You Want The Shark To Win!

47 Meters Down Uncaged is a survival horror film directed by Johannes Roberts. It is a sequel to the passably alright film 47 Meters Down, a film that didn’t need a sequel. The plot this time around focuses on a group of girls who go diving in a newly discovered cave, only to become trapped and at the mercy of a shark.

I have to say it is hard to screw up a shark movie this badly, I applaud the makers of this film for being this inept this utterly devoid of knowing what people want. This film is laughably bad.

First off, this is an incredibly PG affair, there is very little gore even when the sharks are ripping people apart it is all very bloodless, which to me feels like an effort to try and get this film out to the younger teen audience, but in doing so it spits in the face of what modern shark movies are and that is gritty bloodfests.

Secondly, unlike the characters in the first film who were serviceable, the characters here are your usual collection of teenage girl stereotypes and clichés. They are supposed to be experienced divers for the most part, or at least people who have a basic understanding of how diving works. Yet despite this they spend all their time underwater screaming near constantly, which uses up all their oxygen, someone who has been diving once could tell you that.

What’s more the characters in this film are annoying, they spend all their on-screen time either screaming and crying or doing dumb things that will only make their situation worse, but they don’t seem to care, maybe they want to be eaten alive?

The shark itself doesn’t show up until a third into the film which wouldn’t be that bad if the film without the shark was at all in any way interesting, but sadly this first third is a slog and one that is very hard to get through, when the shark does finally appear it leaves you saying finally an end to this tedious boredom.

Overall, Sylvester Stallone’s daughter made her acting debut in this and if this in any indication for things to come, her career is going to be short and very hard to watch. A train-wreck of a movie from start to finish.

Pros.

There are one or two interesting scenes.

Cons.

The characters are dumb and annoying.

The film manages to ruin sharks.

The acting is incredibly weak.

It has no regard for logic or survival skills, even though it is a survival film.

1/5.

Reviewed by Luke

The Marshes: There Is Something Rotten In The Australian Bush

The Marshes is an Australian horror film directed by Roger Scott. The plot follows 3 young biologists as they venture into the Australian marshland to conduct research. Once they get there, they encounter evil and they must fight for their survival, against ever increasing odds.

This was one of the worst horror films I have seen recently, it fails in so many ways that I could barely bring myself to finish it.

Firstly, the characters are awful, they are devoid of anything even resembling a personality, they are irritating and worst of all they care completely unlikable. The most agreeable character of the main 3 is Will (Sam Delich), he is just bland. Then you have Ben (Matthew Cooper), who is just a dick from start to finish he is deeply unlikable, and the film almost goes out of its way to show you just how irritating his character is. Finally, you have Pria (Dafna Kronental), you is by far the worst, she is annoying and deeply unlikable just like Ben, but what makes her worse is that she just does things randomly with no rhyme or reason, I don’t know if it is just poorly written, but her character can go from having a laugh taking about something one minute to screaming the next second and it is as jarring as that sounds.

Secondly, the film makes no sense at all in any way and if you try and figure it out it hurts your head with its stupidity and poor logic. We have scenes that go from nothing to something important in a second and when you are like okay so is this something guess what it is just a dream, this happens over and over again until it gets to a point where it is hard to tell what is and what isn’t a dream. It’s a baffling story decision and one that makes the film incredibly hard to watch.

Finally, and perhaps worst of all, this film suffers from some of the worst lighting I have ever seen in a film. There are sequences of this film where it is too dark to understand what is happening, these are important bits of the film too, at first I just thought there was something wrong with my TV so I adjusted the setting, but no, no matter what setting I put it on it was still incredibly difficult to tell what was going on.

Overall, this is just a bad film and one that isn’t worth your time.

Pros.

None.

Cons.

It is too long, even though it is only on for 1 hour and a half.

The characters are detestable.

The lighting is egregious.

It makes no sense.

Is it a dream or just a waste of my time?

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Monster Party: Addicting

Monster Party is a horror thriller film directed by Chris Von Hoffmann. The plot revolves around a group of thieves that are looking for their next big payday, they decide to rob a house that one of their number works at thinking that the home owners will be easy marks; little do they know that the family that live there are recovering murders.

This is one of the best dark comedies I’ve seen in a long time, the premise itself is hilarious recovering murders trying to deny the urge to kill and failing miserably. The film boils down to a showdown between Casper (Sam Strike), Alexis (Erin Moriarty) and Iris (Virginia Gardner) and Elliot (Kian Lawley), with bloody results.

This is a film that is not afraid to get gory, it does so often and to great effect, the patriarch of the family gets disembowelled and you see his guts hangout of him, like wise Elliot spends some of the film with a recently cut off hand; it is not for the faint of heart.

This film seems to revel in violence and spectacle, as that the main selling point of this film, the characters are thin and underdeveloped, but they do a lot of cool things. I would be very interested to see more of the cult/ program that is working in the shadows to rehabilitate killers and of course more of Lance Reddick.

Reddick is great in anything he turns up in, but he plays the cult master to a tee here and is as per usual fantastic, it is a shame he doesn’t stick around for more of the film, but at well at least he had a few great scenes.

I thought the ending was a little odd, I get that Casper had now become a killer and isn’t the shy wall flower he used to be, but to see him just go into a strip club and start slicing and dicing makes me question whether we are still suppose to root for him at this point. I also would have liked Alexis and Casper to have ended up together as this was teased a good few time throughout the film, but maybe if they do a sequel they will, who knows.

Overall, a good time, nice and easy to watch with a few good laughs and scares peppered in there.

Pros.

It’s funny.

It’s scary.

It has an intriguing premise.

I liked the cast for the most part.

Cons.

The characters were thin and underdeveloped.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Collector: Schlocky Horror Through and Through.

The Collector is a horror film directed by Marcus Dunstan. The plot follows Arkin (Josh Stewart), a thief whose luck runs out when he decided to rob a rich person’s house. As Arkin moves around the house, he realises something is amiss, he can hear screams and there are traps everywhere, his evening with evil serial killer The Collector (Juan Fernandes), is beginning.

The script for this film was originally intended to be a prequel to Saw called The Midnight Man, but that was quickly shot down and this film was born. This film does not feel like it came out in 2009 it feels like an early 2000’s film in both the best way and also the worst way.

The film is highly stylised, everything from the way the film is shot to the opening credits sequences is dripping with personality. That personality is over the top gritty goriness, the film look grainy it looks as thought it was shot on film even though it wasn’t, I would guess that this is a deliberate choice to make the film look more visceral and real. Personally, I loved it.

I also loved the gore of this film; it wasn’t wince inducing it was just right. It was a similar level of gore to that of the Saw films. The traps were ridiculous and over the top, but also whimsically inventive. Furthermore, I enjoyed the fact that who or what The Collector is never explained, much like the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers The Collectors origin is unknown and that adds to the mystery.

The one thing that I thought was bit much was there was a long drawn out sequence of the family’s daughter Jill (Madeline Zima), getting it on with her boyfriend, it felt creepy and way too long. The Collector himself was watching them as well, it was icky. I think the whole sequence could have been done in a tasteful way, but clearly that wasn’t the filmmaker’s intent, clearly, they wanted to show the audience a soft-core porn scene.

Overall, if you like early 2000’s gritty Saw esque films then you will like this, the traps and The Collector himself are interesting and the ending is intriguing.

Pros.

Not explaining the villain.

The traps.

The horror.

The gore.

Cons.

The needlessly long sex scene.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke