Moana (Live Action): Disney Doesn’t Respect You

Summary, a film that is barely 10 years old is repackaged to you by Disney as they think you’ll just buy anything.

This film is insulting, not in that it’s bad it’s incredibly mediocre, but in how cynical it is. This film was simply made to mine an IP there was no need for it and they didn’t change much about it, it was made as Disney thought kids would just watch anything. Gone are the days of Walt’s standards.

There is precious little to say about the film as they change very little about it, you’ve seen it all before as once again the film is barely 10 years old and most people can remember it. At times it feels like a parody of the original film but you realise it is played too serious for that, a parody would have been better.

Overall, if your kid like Moana just put the original on.

2/5

Pros.

The adventure is still the same

The songs are still mostly the same

Cons.

It doesn’t need to exist

It does nothing new

It is the worst version

If you enjoyed this film review, then please head over to Patreon to support the blog. All reviews, articles and interviews are free, with no early access, sponsorships, or content locked behind paywalls. If you value independent coverage of the entertainment industry, your support over there helps to keep it going. Become a member on Patreon below

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to the Ko-Fi donation page below

http://ko-fi.com/anothermillennialreviewer

Lilo And Stitch: Disney Hates Families

Summary

The story of an alien that comes to earth and befriends a girl that needs a friend, that you have all seen before.

I had never seen the original animated version of this film until recently, I rented it to give back to the animators before seeing this version which I feel hurts animation broadly and which if I wasn’t reviewing I would not see.

So I have to say that this film much like How To Train Your Dragons made changes to the original animated version that I did not like. Namely the fact that the sister leaves at the end, and yes this is done with the little girl’s blessing, but it goes against the whole point of the film which is that families stay together. Of course this is a Disney film in the current year so that idea could not be allowed to stick around, the film even directly address the no one left behind line in order to justify her leaving, and this just feels like they are drawing more attention to the problem.

I have to say the little girl herself is very heart warming and sweet, and she alone is why this film doesn’t get a lower score, even if it doesn’t justify it’s existence. Much like with How To Train Your Dragons what these live action remakes come to be is just poorer versions of the animated originals, with modern changes to make them worse.

The trend of live action remakes really need to end.

Overall, a live action remake that doesn’t need to exist.

2/5

Pros.

A charming child

It has some good emotional beats, which hit almost as well as the film

Cons.

It doesn’t justify its existence

The changes regarding the ending

Missing characters

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, customised film recommendations to suit your personality and tastes, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

How To Train Your Dragons: Dream Works Opens A Slop Factory

Summary

So I was not going to watch this film, but I needed to kill some time and it was on. However, don’t worry I am not trying to put animators out of business, as to make up for seeing this I also rented the original animated film to make sure they were getting money as well.

As I expected before going in to this it is a soulless rip-off of the original animated film, made with as much originality as one can expect from AI Hollywood these days, much like with Disney’s Lilo and Stitch the changes it does make come at the expense of the film rather than as a reason to see this version of it.

The race swaps for Astrid, and the lessening of Hiccup as a character in an effort to give Astrid more to do, and to push girlboss narratives don’t make the film any better and highlight the sort of negative changes I was talking about before.

It is the worst of both worlds both a shot for shot remake but also one that has some small ‘modernising’ changes to it which make it worse. The story is much the same and if you have seen the animation you will just see right through this film for the hollow imitation it is.

Overall, a trend that needs to die in Hollywood

1.5/5

Pros.

Toothless is still fun

It has the same beats as the first film which is good, but they are just hollow recycled parts

Cons.

It doesn’t need to exist

It is inferior to the animated version

The changes make it worse

The live action cast lack any kind of charm

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

The Little Mermaid: The Opening Salvo Of The Summer Movie Season

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Little Mermaid gets the live action remake treatment.

So I went into this with pretty low expectations and thinking it wasn’t really going to be my sort of thing but I ended up enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would. I will preface this review by saying that I haven’t seen the animated original so I wasn’t attached to one version of this story.

I want to say right off the bat that Halle Bailey is a great Ariel and really helps the character to feel likeable and rounded in a live action format. On top of that she also has a very believable and strong romantic chemistry with the male lead, played by Jonah Hauer-King, which helps the film to really work as a date movie. Bailey of course also has a great singing voice and pulls off all the songs truly very well, or as well as can be done with the woeful new songs.

However, the strong cast doesn’t extend across the board Awkwafina is terribly miscast as Scuttle and has a groan inducing rap sequence that also doubles as one of the terrible new songs I mentioned earlier. It is such as a shame the film felt the need to introduce a few new songs as the old ones are still great and are what the audience want, but hey they have to have new songs to try and enter them into awards races later in the year. Awkwafina’s miscasting is somewhat offset by Daveed Diggs as Sebastian who is damn near perfect casting and who makes that Crab the stand out character of the whole film, bring on the Sebastian Disney + show I say.

A final point I want to flag up is that the effects and pacing of this film are both noticeably off and that on a technical level these things hold back the film. The underwater effects look bad and unfinished and I know Disney has bad relations with effect houses but they clearly needed to fix this if they want to improve their CGI, because at times the CGI hear was shocking, especially compared to what The Way of The Water was doing at the end of last year. Moreover, the extra story for Eric and a few other characters is nice but it really doesn’t need the film to be an extra half an hour longer than the original, at the length it is being shown at this film has a second act that drags by at a glacial pace.

Overall, a better live action remake than most of Disney’s others

3.5/5

Bailey

The classic songs

The romance

Digg’s Sebastian

Cons.

The effects and pacing

Awkwafina

The new songs

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, the ability for you to pick what I review next, bespoke film recommendation to fit you as a person and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer