Cabin In The Woods: The Old Gods Want Blood

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of friends go out to stay in a cabin in the woods, insert Family Guy joke about saying the title of the film, and of course once they get out there things start to go awry.

I am a big fan of this film, minus the pervy Joss Whedon elements but we will get to those, and think that if you are a fan of the slasher genre this is a must watch. There is something so smart and so loving about this film, it both sends up the slasher genre but also revels in its tropey goodness. I think the entire meta reading of this film, as we the audience are the old gods wanting to see our slasher films play out the way they always do is entirely novel and well done.

Likewise the film does a good job of making you care about the characters, with Chris Hemsworth’s character being a delightful revelation. Hemsworth plays the dumb jock but the film goes out of its way to flip that cliché and do something new with it, the same can be said for the rest of the archetypal roles of the slasher. In that regard I thought Kristen Connolly’s Dana made for an excellent final girl and I liked that she failed to prevent the disaster at the end as it made her feel more genuine and real.

Furthermore, as a huge horror fan I got a lot out of the vending machine of monsters scene inside the facility where we were treated to tons and tons of references and homages, it was easily my favourite scene of the film.

Sadly, now we must talk about the issues. A lot of these issues boil down to one thing, camera angles and pervy intent. A lot of the female characters in this film are shot in a way where the camera is often not looking at their faces and is instead looking at other areas, this becomes incredibly transparent as the film goes on. I would like to blame this on Joss Whedon as we know he has a habit of doing this kind of thing from his other work, however Drew Goddard is not above suspicion as well. Regardless it is needless.

Overall, a strong film made stronger if you are a hardcore horror fan.

Pros.

Hemsworth

Connelly

The ending

The vending machine of monsters

Cons.

The perviness

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Titane: Pushing The Boundaries Of Bad Taste

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young woman, played by Agathe Rousselle, goes on a killing spree and has sex with cars.

Clearly the director of this film has been having some conversations with Ti West and is being taught in the school of being edgy in a horror film for the sake of shock value. Within the first ten minutes of this film you have a car accident, a protracted surgery scene, a scene were a young girl passionately embraces a car, then a cut to when she is an adult and an almost rape scene. Yes, all of that did almost make me turn the film off, but no I decided to stick with it and believe me it got worse.

The car sex scene that happens again fairly early into the film is entirely needless. I am no prude but this scene is just unnecessary, it is too long, too graphic and too fetishized. If it were used in a film by a male director it would be labelled problematic and never allowed to see the light of day.

Furthermore as the film progresses it begins to deal with ideas around gender, now there could be something of merit here if the film had something intelligent to say with it, but no, it is just used as a gimmick to try and seem trendy.

Overall, I don’t really know what more to say, don’t watch it.

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

It is needless in almost everyway

It tries too hard to be edgy

It does nothing interesting with the ideas around gender

It is unpleasant and depressing to watch

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Halloween: Jamie Lee Curtis’ Birth As A Scream Queen

5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Laurie Strode, played by Jamie Lee Curtis, and other residents of Haddonfield are stalked by a mysterious masked killer.

To me, and this might be a controversial opinion, this is easily John Carpenter’s best film. This is a horror film that is firing on all cylinders and gets every little detail right. I think for me the strongest aspect of this film is it’s score, the composing is masterful and the timings are perfect: the non-diegetic sound here really adds a lot to the film and enhances it.

Moreover, this film does a lot with a little in terms of scares. Unlike the newest instalment in this franchise that has been criticised by some as being too violent and bloody, here there is a minimal amount of actual violence but the threat feels even more intense than it does in Halloween Kills. I believe that is because this film put a greater emphasis on the killer stalking and watching his targets then it does on him actually killing them, the thrill is in the chase after all.

Finally, the cast across the board is superb with Jamie Lee Curtis earning her scream queen status with ease here, her performance is incredible particularly the Boogeyman line after the killers escape at the end.

Overall, a magnificent slasher film and one that still holds up as one of the best.

Pros.

The tension

The threat

Jamie Lee Curtis

The score

The ending

Cons.

None

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Jeepers Creepers: If You See A Body Being Thrown Down A Pipe Don’t Investigate It

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A brother, played by Justin Long, and sister, played by Gina Phillips, are terrorised by an otherworldly entity as they are driving home from university.

Before I get into this film I just want to address the director. Yes, I know that the director of this film is highly problematic for a number of reasons, if you don’t know them look them up, but I tried to push that out of my mind whilst watching this film and just enjoy it for what it was.

This film and its sequel have always had a special place in my heart, as I grew up watching them. Whether it was as a child or now these films have always managed to creep me out, there is just something about them. From the unnerving car chase to the misadventure down the drainage pipe and everything that comes after this film does a really good job in building tension and creating a terrifying atmosphere. It is nice to see a horror film that isn’t solely reliant on jump scares.

Moreover, as I have previously said in other posts the creature effects on the antagonist are incredibly good. The monster looks both demonic and alien as well as simply nightmare fuel. I also appreciated how this film never really went out of its way to explain the creature or what it is doing adding to the mystery and the tension.

My main gripe with the film really comes in the form of the dumb decisions the characters make. Yes, like in many other horror films the sibling duo here make all kinds of stupid mistakes over the course of the film, worse still the film even draws attention to them and makes fun of them for doing them saying things like how it would be a terrible decision if they were in a horror film. As I have said before calling out bad writing that is reliant on cliches doesn’t suddenly make it good, it just makes it fee lazy as you are admitting that you couldn’t be bothered to fix it.

Overall, this is an underrated horror gem.

Pros.

The creature

The tension

The atmosphere

The ending

Cons.

Dumb decision making

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Night Teeth: Driving Miss Bloodsucker

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Benny, played by Jorge Lendeborg Jr, finds himself in the middle of a vampire turf war after he covers his brother’s, played by Raul Castillo, shift as a driver.

I enjoyed this film and thought that it had enough uniqueness to it that it stands out within the vampire sub-genre. It is very stylised and this again helps to give it flair with an almost comic book esque aesthetic, the action again reflects this with a lot of the big fight scenes feeling straight from the page.

Lendeborg Jr is a fine leading man, but he is greatly outdone by Debbie Ryan as Blair, one of the two vampires being driven around. Lendeborg Jr and Ryan have an undeniable amount of chemistry together on screen and their romance is very believable. Moreover, Ryan’s character is also the most complex with her being this killing machine but also longing for more, with the idea that she has been forced or conditioned into this life never too far from the viewers mind.

The two areas where I felt the film was lacking was its villain and its originality. In terms of villain we have Alfie Allen as victor the big bad vampire boss who is making a play for the whole city, now the issue with Allen’s character is that we really aren’t shown him doing very much yet we are expected to believe he is a threat. This becomes a big issue when you get to the final part of the film where he is supposedly super powerful and unbeatable yet we hadn’t got a whiff of that before as it is not well set up. Moreover, in terms of originality, though I said the film is fairly unique it is also quite reliant on past tropes which serve as a disservice to it.

Overall, a strong vampire film that benefits from casting Debby Ryan.

Pros.

Ryan

The romance

Some interesting new ideas

Cons.

A little too reliant on tropes

Alife Allen is wasted

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Chucky: Give Me Something Good To Eat

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Chucky, voiced by Brad Dourif, continues his relationship with Jake, played by Zachary Arthur, and further tempts him over to the dark side, encouraging him to kill.

I found this episode to be slightly weaker than the first. This is mainly due to the fact that it is lacking in logic, why would Chucky risk being found simply to kill the housekeeper it makes no sense? Maybe he doesn’t care if he is caught and just wants to kill, which seems to be the implied answer, but even then this would lead to him being destroyed, which means no more killing, so you would think he would be smarter about it.

I am enjoying seeing Jake slowly starting to consider what Chucky is saying, becoming a killer, I think it is a nice fresh angle for the series to explore. I thought the teens were especially loathsome this week when they mocked Jake’s fathers death during a Halloween party, maybe Chucky is right, maybe he is actually trying to help Jake.

I thought the slow building of tension here was done well as obviously these killings can’t keep happening around Jake before he will get held with suspicion, so clearly something is going to happen and I am excited to see what.

Overall, a weaker episode because the logic doesn’t quite line up but it is still a good and interesting watch.

Pros.

The Chucky/ Jake relationship

Building the tension

Questioning Chucky’s intentions

Cons.

The gaps in logic

We need more time per episode

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The Uninvited: Stop Hating The Perceived Homewrecker, She’s Not Done Anything

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film follows a young woman, played by Emily Browning, who has recently come out of a mental institution returning home again. However, after she arrives she becomes more and more concerned about her father’s new girlfriend, played by Elizabeth Banks, who she begins to believe is plotting against her.

I will admit the twist with this one got me; I was not expecting it. I enjoyed that the film took the cliched trope of the evil home invader and flipped it on its head. Furthermore, I thought that Banks, rather than Browning was in fact the star of the show, as she gave off a real sense of menace and stole every scene she was in.

I thought Browning was okay, but her performance did nothing to elevate the character or the role, and she just became a very generic protagonist.

Something that I thought was odd about the film was the way in which the supernatural elements early on clashed with the thriller aspects of the rest of the film. It seemed this film could not decide what it wanted to be so tried to go for both, which hurt it as the initial supernatural stuff jars against what comes later, though I suppose could actually be read as an early clue.

Overall, an interesting thriller film with a solid twist that is let down by its choice of leading lady.

Pros.

Banks

The twist

Good tension

Cons.

Browning

The supernatural elements

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Oculus: Smashing Mirrors With The Power Of Boredom

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A pair of siblings, played by Karen Gillian and Brenton Thwaites, reunite after years apart to finally kill the evil mirror that destroyed their family when they were children.

I thoroughly enjoyed Hill House however, everything else that Mike Flanagan has failed to impress me. He has consistent pacing issues across his works that make them hard to watch, if I was asked to describe this film in a word it would be slow. There are so many needless flashbacks and asides throughout the film that it becomes distracting and more so irritating.

The horror here is okay there are one or two good scares but there is also an over reliance on jump scares that takes away from the film as a whole. Likewise, the mirror itself is left fairly open ended, it might not even be evil and it might just be the children’s way of coping with their dad killing their mum, this isn’t in and of itself a bad thing. However, it becomes a bad thing when the supposed power range of this mirror becomes all over the place, at one point in the film it can only slightly interfere with electrics and other it can fully manifest itself and attack those around it.

I thought the sole positive about this film was Karen Gillian, Gillian is clearly trying hard to make this work and whilst she does leave an impact it is not enough to save the film.

Overall, a slow and often boring horror that makes you want to switch off.

Pros.

Karen Gillian

One or two good scares

Cons.

It is slow

There are far too many flashbacks and asides

Crippling pacing issues

Not specifying how powerful the mirror is.

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Slashers: The Next Evolution Of Game Shows

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

In a dystopian version of Japan people from around the world compete in a game show called Slashers which pits real people against a series of killers in life or death games for big sums of money.

I enjoyed this film a lot. Many times I think whilst watching horror movies that I have seen it all before and that the genre has nothing left that can surprise me and then I watch something like this and am pleasantly surprised to be wrong.

I felt a strong love of slasher films emanating from this film as well as a love for Japanese culture and horror. Connections can be drawn between this and Battle Royale as the two share a fair bit of common ground.

The thing I liked most about this film was its knowing references to cliches and tropes within the genre, with one character, played by Sofia De Medeiros, going so far as to take her top off as to have better odds of surviving. I liked that the film played with genre and tried to do something fresh with it.

I found the characters to be compelling both contestant and slasher alike, I thought each had just enough personality to make them interesting and make you root for them.

My one complaint of the film would be that its message, who is the real monster those doing the slashing or those at home paying to see it, felt a little trite and played out and the film spends a bit too long on the morality of the genre rather than just aiming to have fun with it.

Overall, a wonderful surprise only slightly let down by a been there done that message.

Pros.

A love of the genre

A strong concept

Fun to watch

Interesting characters

Cons.

The message needs freshening up a bit

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Insidious 3: The Least Scary Villain In A Horror Film Ever

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After the death of her mother Quinn, played by Stefanie Scott, reaches out to the spirit world to try and contact her, and obviously because this is a horror movie, something other than her mum reaches back.

In my mind this is the worst of the Insidious films. This is mainly due to the demon antagonist of this one. Whoever designed it should be let go as there is nothing creepy about an old man with an oxygen tank, nor should there be. Furthermore, in terms of how easy it is to defeat this villain, simply by removing his oxygen mask, there is no threat at all there. In the first film The Man With Fire On His Face would be a lot worse of a villain if you could just turn off his music and that’s it he’s done.

The film tries to do something with ideas around mobility, Quinn is confined to a wheelchair for most of the film and so centres a lot of its scares around that. This isn’t a total failure as it does lead to a few good scares however, more needed to be done with it for it to be explored in any satisfactory way.

Another failure of the film comes with its characters who are instantly forgettable. We get the usual stock characters of the misunderstood teen, the boy she has a crush on, her parent, and then of course the paranormal investigators. None of the characters in this film are served by it, even veteran of the genre Lyn Shaye can’t save it, and they give her a much bigger role so she gets the chance to try.

Overall, a sad state of affairs but one that provides us with the crucial lesson of not all horror films need to be franchises.

Pros.

A few good scares

Cons.

The characters are awful

The villain is weak

They don’t develop their ideas enough

They waste the talent of Lyn Shaye

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