Blue Moon: Ethan Hawke At His Most Manic

This was another one that I unfortunately couldn’t see in cinemas as it simply isn’t out where I am yet. I had to find it online to watch it and be ahead for awards season.

Honestly, this film won’t be for everyone, not much happens, it is a talkie. It is mainly about Hawke’s characters with the other people around him, and him coming to terms with his own irrelevance, even if he still thinks he’s someone. It’s a character piece and some may find that slow.

There is a depressing edge to the film, as Hawke’s character is a tragic one and one that you can see the bleak future set out before him, and that gives the film a wan undertone throughout.

It is also a film that is very interested in old Hollywood and is Hollywood giving itself a pat on the back, if you find Hollywood making films about Hollywood clawing or unnecessary then you like won’t like this.

Overall bound to be divisive for it’s length, tone and subject matter, but still very watchable.

2.5/5

Pros.

There is a charm

It has a few funny moments

The pace works well

Cons.

It can be depressing

It is yet another film about Hollywood

The characters can be a little irritating

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The Choral: Another Depressing Film About The War

Summary

A choir sing songs in Yorkshire during the War.

So I like to support the British film industry, but this just didn’t seem to be coming out in my region anytime soon, so I decided to simply use a VPN and watch it on streaming.

I probably would have resent paying a cinema ticket price for this, mainly because it is depressing. It is the usual Oscar bait sort of film, there is a lot of diversity, it is sad, and there is some sort of allegory. The issue with it is that these sort of films are ten a penny and so this is nothing remarkable.

There is also a horrible scene wherein a character who is presented to you as sympathetic throughout the film coerces his ex into a sexual act when she is now with someone else. This then makes the fact that this does not get mentioned again or cause any further conflict in the film seem odd, the fact the film still wants you to root for him thereafter seems like a moral failings.

Overall, another depressing film about the War.

2/5

Pros.

It is well shot

The period feels real

Cons.

It is Oscar bait

It is depressing

The assault

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All’s Fair: Ryan Murphy Shouldn’t Be Allowed In Hollywood Anymore

Summary

For a while I have been on the precipice of cancelling Disney +, but this show pushed me over the edge.

So you have a girlboss show about female divorce lawyers, who all of course have messy person lives. Because in the year of our Lord 2026, we need Hollywood to show us that women can be anything, even though this was already established years ago by Legally Blonde with regards to the Law.

It is very clear this series was created by Ryan Murphy as it feels like his sort of incredibly vapid writing, that reflects how no one really talks. Murphy seems to have a real issue writing for women and really doesn’t seem to understand them, the way the heroines? Behave herein makes them instantly dislikable from the off and over the course of the show you actively root against them.

I don’t know why Murphy is trying to force Kim Kardashian on us as an actor, but I will say she gave a better performance in the ‘leaked’ sex tape than she does in any of the projects Murphy tries to stick her in. In many ways Kardashian is like a black hole, her inability to act also ruins the performances of people who actually can act like Naomi Watts.

Overall, who is this for?

0.5/5

Pros.

It helped me fall asleep

Cons.

The characters are dislikable

The writing is awful

It is cringe

Kim Kardashian

It is slop designed to destroy your brain

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Ella McCay: A Lisa Simpson Issues Episode

Summary

A Lisa issues episode of the Simpsons stretched for over an hour.

So I want Hollywood to learn, most people outside the US don’t care at all about their government, or seeing their officials have to negotiate themselves out of law breaking. You, US reader, may care, but the rest of us don’t. This is a film about an elected official who breaks the law and has to find their way out of it which flopped, to no one’s surprise.

Really the only redeeming thing I can say for this film is that Emma Mackey is great, she has a real energy throughout the film. You care about her character and want her to be okay. That is about it.

The side plots about the womanising father or the brother and his ex-girlfriend kill time but do very little else. Jamie Lee Curtis plays a version of the same character she has been playing for the last twenty years, and is quite unbearable at times.

I would argue if this was a quirky sardonic sort of film done in the style of The Thick of It then maybe it could have been good, but American’s don’t understand subtlety so that was never going to happen.

2/5

Emma Mackey

It is watchable

Cons.

The side stories add nothing

No one cares about US politics outside the US

It is predictable

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Emily In Paris Season 5: Making You Want To Burn A US Flag

Summary

The cultural cancer that is Emily In Paris is back for a 5^th season.

I thought that after reviewing the earlier seasons and then taking a break I was done with this show, but I decided to revisit it.

In light of modern events, the idea of American Exceptionalism particularly in Europe is more than a bad joke. Rather than help its allies out The US government would rather hangout with dictators and white supremacists, as such the US is pretty loathed right now by most of thinking Europe. The fact that the US thinks it can lecture Europe on policy, and encourage extremist parties in Europe , and maintain friendly relations is a joke, once again it is bad.

Europe didn’t need Emily’s brand of loud over the top, omg look at me energy, back when the first season came out, but now the idea of an American coming to Europe and telling them how to be, and being met with anything other than hostility is ridiculous to the point of being absurd. Emily doesn’t just spit on the French but the Italians get it this time as well. Every negative cultural stereotype you can imagine happens to Emily almost as soon as she arrives, seems nowhere can be as great as the US which seems to have multiple school shootings per day.

This show was conceived as mindless slop but has become so culturally loaded that I am surprised Netflix even allows this to air in Europe anymore.

Overall, this is why the US is loathed globally at the moment.

1/5

Pros.

At times this almost read like a knowing self-aware parody of American’s abroad, but that would be too clever for this show.

Cons.

American Exceptionalism was never real.

It is a hurtful collection of stereotypes

The characters are unlikeable

It is slop

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Pluribus: Lesbian Rape

Summary

An interesting show about an end of the world type scenario, which then asks you to sympathise with a rapist.

Lets crack into it, I enjoyed this show until the penultimate episode. Carol was abrasive but you still bought her struggle to restore humanity from the hive mind it had turned into. Carol is a lesbian, and over the course of the show she comes to find a fondness in one of the infected, who is part of the global hivemind and has to do whatever Carol says, this is problematic as this woman is now herself she is part of the hivemind, she may not even have been bi or a lesbian before, she is a person who is not in control of her own body. Then to add to matters Carol sleeps with this woman who is not in control of herself and has to do whatever Carol wants this is rape, it is not informed consent. No two ways about it.

This is a fundamental issue as there is no way to fix what Carol has done or redeem her. The show has her turn against the hive mind in the end as it is stealing her eggs, rather than you know a turn of heroism she now wants to kill it out of spite.

Morality in Hollywood folks.

2/5

Pros.

The first seven episodes are good

The premise is interesting

Cons.

The lead rapes someone and the show asks you to like her afterwards

The character is fundamentally ruined

The writing breaks the show

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The House Maid: The Most Shocking Thing Is Seeing Sydney Sweeney Eat A Fat Sandwhich

Summary

Amanda Seyfried won’t apologize for calling Charlie Kirk hateful even after he died, nor will she apologise for starring in this slop.

Female slop is the easiest way to categorise this film, it is like one of those cheap romance/crime novels you can pick up from any supermarket made for the mass market, and mainly used for Instagram stories to show people what you are reading. The twists and turns are incredibly predictable, if you have ever watched a thriller, drama, or have the imagination of anyone over the age of 6 I am sure you can see where it is going from the start of the film. It feels like a big budget CW made for TV film, except it doesn’t star teens, it stars older actors who should know better.

The film itself is long and bloated, and feels like a film that is so afraid of actually going there and giving you something new that it just reheats greasy left overs it knows will make you smile at first but be sick later. When the film tries to shock you it just reminds you how dumb it assumes you as an audience member are.

Neither Sweeny nor Seyfried can do much to liven the film up and don’t even seem interested in trying.

Overall, yet more slop from Hollywood.

1/5

Pros

It is unintentionally funny

Cons.

It is predictable

It is boring

It is safe

Neither of the actresses want to be there.

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Chirsty: The Left Will Only Support Films About Lesbians If They Star Left Wing Luvvies

Summary

Sydney Sweeny takes on the role of a legendary boxer.

This film was hard to find for me thank goodness for the internet.

This film reminded me somewhat of Sweeny’s turn when she played a whistleblower facing her life being destroyed around her, I feel like she really does have a great propensity for dramatic work and is more than just her body. I think she delivers a solid performance here, despite, what washed up has been Ruby Rose has to say about it.

Throughout the film you really emote with Sweeny’s lead and feel for her and her situation, particularly in the second act of the film, it works as a sports film in the way that the journey and the personal struggle become the thing that defines the film, and the main thing that makes you as an audience member enjoy it. I wouldn’t quite call it Rocky in terms of being inspiring, but I would say it is a lot more real.

I think the main reason this film is not getting more attention is due to the perception that Sydney Sweeny is right wing and so is being shunned by a lot of the film journalists that would normally call something like this stunning and brave.

Overall, Sweeny is good and the film works well as an inspiring sports film with harsh dramatic turns.

3.5/5

Pros.

It is inspiring

You believe the personal struggle

Sweeny is good

It is well paced

Cons.

It does get a bit depressing at times

The third act needed tightening

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Wake Up Dead Man Knives Out Three: The End Of A Deal

Summary

Rian Johnson gives up.

The first Knives Out film was good, the second was bad, but the third is meh. Whilst it is better than the second film which was out and out trash, it is an effort in passive watching and little more. By that I mean the film feels very low energy and as though it was done just to make another one rather than out of a genuinely good idea, or need.

Josh Brolin commands the film admirably, but everyone else is just turning out for the pay check, even Craig’s fateful inspector feels like a flanderised version of himself from the previous films. Craig’s Blanc feels at times almost cartoonishly impotent or incompetent, and behaves at times in a way that is entirely alien to how we have seen him up until that point. Bad character writing.

The commentary of the film is on religion and how it divides us, but I suppose if done in a more effeminate way, is still good I guess, would arguably be the message of the film. Personally, I am not very religious, but I can imagine how if you were you might find elements of this film highly objectionable.

Overall, this feels like it was done to satisfy the Netflix demand for new content and not out of need, or due to some great new idea.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

Brolin

It has a few laughs

Cons.

There are too many underdeveloped characters

The preaching

It feels purposeless

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Roofman: Randomly Showing Juno Temple’s Nipple

Summary

The real life story of a man who lived in a Toys R Us after breaking out of prison, and then becoming infatuated with one of the workers there.

It is very hard to give this film a coherent review, there are aspects about it that work: the lead character is very likable and you do root for them and want to see them reunited with their daughter, in this respect Channing Tatum does a good job. However, there are also aspects that really don’t work: there are decisions made in the film in a narrative sense that make no sense at all, you just don’t buy it at times.

Also the writing of the film particularly when it is Tatum interacting with the church group, is so horribly cringe that you want to escape. I like cringe comedy but this is so painfully cringe that it makes you want to scream, I’ll also add that the film is not trying to be cringe which makes it all the worse.

It is nice to see Kristen Dunst back in a major role, I feel like we see a lot less of her these days, I know she was in Civil War but she used to be far more regularly on our screens.

Overall, a film with heart but also a lot of cringe.

3/5

Pros.

It has heart

It is weird but in an interesting way

There are some funny laughs

Cons.

The plot holes

The cringe

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