Emily In Paris Season 5: Making You Want To Burn A US Flag

The cultural cancer that is Emily In Paris is back for a 5^th season.

I thought that after reviewing the earlier seasons and then taking a break I was done with this show, but I decided to revisit it.

In light of modern events, the idea of American Exceptionalism particularly in Europe is more than a bad joke. Rather than help its allies out The US government would rather hangout with dictators and white supremacists, as such the US is pretty loathed right now by most of thinking Europe. The fact that the US thinks it can lecture Europe on policy, and encourage extremist parties in Europe , and maintain friendly relations is a joke, once again it is bad.

Europe didn’t need Emily’s brand of loud over the top, omg look at me energy, back when the first season came out, but now the idea of an American coming to Europe and telling them how to be, and being met with anything other than hostility is ridiculous to the point of being absurd. Emily doesn’t just spit on the French but the Italians get it this time as well. Every negative cultural stereotype you can imagine happens to Emily almost as soon as she arrives, seems nowhere can be as great as the US which seems to have multiple school shootings per day.

This show was conceived as mindless slop but has become so culturally loaded that I am surprised Netflix even allows this to air in Europe anymore.

Overall, this is why the US is loathed globally at the moment.

1/5

Pros.

At times this almost read like a knowing self-aware parody of American’s abroad, but that would be too clever for this show.

Cons.

American Exceptionalism was never real.

It is a hurtful collection of stereotypes

The characters are unlikeable

It is slop

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Marvel Zombies: The Woke Zombies Of Disney Marvel

Summary

Marvel Zombies, a cool comic book, becomes yet more girl boss Marvel fare.

In the classic Robert Kirkman comic run, the Zombies were made up of people like Reed Richards, Ant Man, and Captain America. Here they are made up of Okoye, Wanda and Carol Danvers, can you see what is going on.

Perhaps this will help.

We begin this series following Ms Marvel, Kate Bishop and Riri Wiliams, we then meet Blade, Yelena, and the Red Guardian. Following that we meet Shang Chi and Katie. Do you see it yet. Two things are happening here, firstly it is a girlboss show which ends with Riri, Kamala and Wanda, and secondly that there are close to no popular male heroes from before phase four, amongst the ranks of the living.

They also can’t quite seem to decide what sorts of zombies they want to have, intelligent zombies that can talk or mindless zombies that can’t. You’ll notice that zombie Clint Barton and Zombie Cap don’t say a word, whereas Okoye has many a monologue. Do you get it yet.

I feel like I am just repeating myself at this point. One thing I can say with certainty is that Disney + killed Marvel dead. Whoever is in charge of Marvel’s output on Disney + needs the sack.

0.5/5

Pros.

It has a few good moments that lean towards horror

Cons.

The characters are all phase four wash outs

It is a girlboss show to it’s core

It makes pops at legacy characters

It has awful Marvel humour in it

It ruins a great comics run

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Pluribus: Lesbian Rape

Summary

An interesting show about an end of the world type scenario, which then asks you to sympathise with a rapist.

Lets crack into it, I enjoyed this show until the penultimate episode. Carol was abrasive but you still bought her struggle to restore humanity from the hive mind it had turned into. Carol is a lesbian, and over the course of the show she comes to find a fondness in one of the infected, who is part of the global hivemind and has to do whatever Carol says, this is problematic as this woman is now herself she is part of the hivemind, she may not even have been bi or a lesbian before, she is a person who is not in control of her own body. Then to add to matters Carol sleeps with this woman who is not in control of herself and has to do whatever Carol wants this is rape, it is not informed consent. No two ways about it.

This is a fundamental issue as there is no way to fix what Carol has done or redeem her. The show has her turn against the hive mind in the end as it is stealing her eggs, rather than you know a turn of heroism she now wants to kill it out of spite.

Morality in Hollywood folks.

2/5

Pros.

The first seven episodes are good

The premise is interesting

Cons.

The lead rapes someone and the show asks you to like her afterwards

The character is fundamentally ruined

The writing breaks the show

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Cinema Issues: The Death Of The Superhero Genre

In this edition of Cinema Issues we will be talking about the death of the Superhero film.

As this year comes to a close it is important to remember that it is the first, non-covid year, in a long while without a superhero film that made over 800 million dollars at the worldwide box office. Neither DC nor Marvel could manage it despite releasing four films in cinemas this year.

This reflects a larger downward trend in the box office for the genre in Post-Endgame world, and possibly that audiences are done with superhero films. Yes I can hear you screeching into the void, but what about Doomsday, what about Spider-Man, what about Secret Wars. Yes likely all three of them will make over 800 million dollars you’d hope, however, a few large outliers doesn’t change the broader pattern. By and large superhero films are dying and there may be a few characters or big event films than can make money but for many characters this likely means relegation as they will now not be seen as likely earners. This means there could be a world wherein there are only one or two event style super hero films a year, or even every few years. This would be a massive contraction.

It is worth noting that even a supposed reboot, under new creative leadership has not been able to stop this problem for DC, so the Marvel plan to do something similar, sans the new leadership, post Secret Wars may not be the shot in the arm needed to keep things healthy. The fact that even a character like Superman could not be a solid earner for DC will have been noted and will be causing alarm.

The issue we have said before many times really is over saturation, a Marvel centric issue, and the production of a large number of bad films, which both are guilty off. Perhaps if superheroes went away for a few years and came back at the start of the next decade then maybe audiences appetite may have returned for everything rather than just the big films.

One thing is for sure though disrespecting your characters and your audience is not going to get people in the door. Something that James Gunn needs to be reminded off if that Supergirl trailer with Superman being pissed on is anything to go by. Arguably those with the creative and decision making power to save the superhero genre are the ones hastening its end.

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Stranger Things Season 5 Part Two: Stunning And Brave

Summary

This ladies and gentlemen is the moment Stranger Things died.

So the first half begun a worrying trend, or focusing on new characters which in turn limited the amount of time we got with the old ones, see Holly and Derek. For the second part you can add in Kai, an older character reintroduced, so technically like a new character, and much like Holly and Derek no one cares about her, she takes up time and gets in the way of character dynamics you actually care about.

Not that much actually happens in these episodes, mainly it is just characters talking in a room, Dustin and Steve have an argument, Nancy and Jonathan break up and then get back together? It is hard to tell, and Will says what every character has known since the first season and once again tries it on with his straight friend who isn’t interested. At times I skipped over some of these long drawn out monologues and pointless scenes as it was just a waste of time. Having Will come out isn’t brave or new it is about ten a penny with most Hollywood shows and films now, it was just cringe. You had a bit of action as Max left the Henry’s world but really that is it. It is just needless character drama.

What is the upside down, the mystery that has span the show, it is just a place in-between dimensions, and it is a gateway to a scary dimension, how clever how original.

Honestly, Paramount who just signed a deal with the Duffer Brothers should cancel it, as this is Game of Thrones all over again.

Overall, this season will make the rest of the show unwatchable.

0.5/5

Pros.

Mrs Wheeler finally getting something to do.

Cons.

It is boring

It wastes time with characters you don’t care about

Everything about Will

Nothing happens

What the upside down is

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Cinema Issues: The Problem With Will Byers

In this edition of Cinema Issues we will be talking about the character of Will in Stranger Things and the idea of negative representation.

Post season three of Stranger Things all Will is is an LGBTQ+ youth. The writing strips him of being able to be anything other than his sexuality. Worse yet it makes him hopelessly in love with his straight friend Mike. It makes him act out over the course of season four and believe there is a future there despite the fact his friend is straight. Will expects to be accepted for who he is and yet does not accept that for Mike thinking instead that he can still win him in the end, despite sexuality being an immoveable force.

Recently the actor who plays Will, said in an interview that we would get good representation for Will, being gay, in the next lot of episodes, as heavens knows we haven’t had that yet. The writing presents Will as being catty and mean and trying to break apart Mike and Eleven, and then wants us to feel bad for him as he gets rejected, the fact that he cannot accept it and move on is not a thing worthy of sympathy but rather one that makes him, and by default the movement the show so clearly wants to appeal to and represent look worse. If this was a young man going after a woman, trying to break her up from her partner, then being rejected, then acting the victim, then being obsessed and not moving on, in the modern parlance you would say that made them an awful and unsympathetic character. Yet the moral framing here is that he is gay so it is fine. Wrong. It pushes the gay people are manipulative narrative line.

The fact that the first part of season five simply had Will and Robin discussing that they were gay over and over again, and then Will embracing his gayness granting him superpowers, it is very clear the show doesn’t want to do actual representation that matters but would rather boil theses characters down to one thing, and then present incredibly moral questionable choices as good because otherwise people on the internet would get mad.

It is very interesting to compare Robin and Will in terms of characterisation, and how they are written, Robin has far more going on outside of just being a lesbian, even if season five muddies that a bit, whereas Will just has the upside down, which increasingly he is irrelevant for and being gay.

Increasingly the character doesn’t show positive representation on the show but rather stereotypes and boiled down cliches. It is tokenism plain and simple.

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Wild West Christmas

Summary

Women can do it all, from photoshoots, to instructing people on how to do TikTok dances to winning horse and sled competitions after only trying it a few times before.

Is this a girl boss Christmas film, yes maybe. The lead certainly gets very good at things she has little to no training in very quicky, she used to ride horses years ago and now is able to simply pick up the horse riding with a new added component of the sledding/skiing, in a few lessons.

The characters all feel one dimension, and as though they are written by an AI after you have used all the free replies from one of the better models. When I heard Christmas in the Wild West I thought it would be a cowboys and Indians Christmas film and so put it on, I was disappointed by what I found.

The film itself is fairly dull as it doesn’t do anything new or interesting it is just a below standard Christmas Rom-Com.

Overall, dull and predictable.

1.5/5

Pros.

It is unintentionally funny

It is short

Cons

It is dull

It is predictable

It has girl boss elements

Its forgettable

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A Merry Little Exmas: Jameela Jamil Should Have Been The Lead

Summary

Two people who are broken up use other people and then end up back together.

Honestly, this is the sort of film you would expect from Netflix at Christmas it is sappy, generic and feels like it was written by AI. Alicia Silverstone does her best here but she is largely wasted on a script that doesn’t seem to understand morality. As I said in the beginning both the characters use other people as place holders whilst they want to get back with their ex which doesn’t make them likable protagonists even in the slightest.

Jameela Jamil plays her usual persona of tall posh English woman with some relish, I enjoyed that she called out the two lead characters and was allowed to have some fun with the role, she probably had the closest thing to funny moments within the film if you want to call it that.

You would argue that there isn’t a lot to say about this film as it is just exactly what you would expect without much to set it apart or make for an interesting aside.

Overall, if you want a low rent Netflix Christmas film and don’t mind morally bankrupt characters then you’ll like this.

2/5

Pros.

Jamil

It is watchable

Cons.

It is generic

It is slow

The characters aren’t likeable

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Silent Night Deadly Night: Killing Nazi’s and Pedophiles

Summary

Santa’s gonna slay.

So for the most part I enjoyed this film and found it to be charming and over the top, I liked the slasher aspects but also how it was flipped by having the slasher being the hero of the story. The kills were suitably gory, if you’re a gore hound you’ll eat well here.

I thought that the romance between the lead and Ruby Modine was a lovely surprise, I thought it was believable and gave the film a nice centre to work around, the ending wherein Ruby’s character accepted the lead for who he was and believed his Santa curse is also a nice change of pace from running away and acting like the character is evil and pretending like all murder is the same. I thought that the ending wherein she took over the curse also set things up nicely for a sequel.

The only thing I would point to as being a draw back for the film is that at times it is a little depressing in how its styled and how the world looks, there is a gloom to it all and that can dampen the fun a bit.

Overall, a great way to reboot a slasher franchise.

4/5

Pros.

It is fun

The kills are good

The romance

The ending and future

Cons.

It is a bit depressing at times

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Avatar Fire and Ash: The Law Of Diminishing Returns

Summary

An argument could be made that James Cameron has not been a good filmmaker since the turn of the century. His films in the last two and a half decades have not been well written, or well put together, but hey they have done an awful lot to bring 3-D back, oh wait, and they have made digital effects better, they have looked the same in all of his Avatar offerings. He should just retire.

Avatar as a franchise, it should never have been, is in a pattern of diminished returns with the second film making less than the first unadjusted for inflation, with the third expected to make less than the second and you can see why.

In many ways this film reskins things from the second film, one or two new added components. For example take the big water battle at the end of the film, Way of the Water had a very similar battle the only difference is now the Ash clan are also there. Quaritch as a villain is also going through the motions, his character growth in Way of the Water is seemingly retread as he once again has to way his loyalties, at the end of the Fire and Ash he just randomly throws himself to his death, no explanation, that is the depth of the writing here.

There are two unforgivable elements about this film that in my mind show that James Cameron has lost any magic he once had. Firstly, is the horribly written dialogue which is some of the most cringe dialogue I have ever heard, all of the kids in the film, and you spend far too much time with them, talk like human influencers, ‘bro’ being the default response to any question. If you want to make this film more interesting drink every time a character says bro and you will be passed out before the first hour. You also have ‘cuzz’ for some variety. James Cameron clearly doesn’t know young people and doesn’t know to write for them. Secondly is the pacing, which feels more like you’re enduring a torture session than watching a film. Who needs a three hour plus film filled with side stories that you don’t care about that then repeats the same plot beats over and over again. Increasingly it seems based on how low effort things are here that not even James Cameron wants to sit through it.

The only positive I have for it is that Varrang is an interesting new character and I would like to find out more about her fire-bending abilities, not at all ripped off, and that is it.

Overall, not everything needs to be a franchise, James Cameron should retire.

1/5

Pros.

Varrang.

Cons.

It is cringe

It is too long

It has too many needless side stories

It rehashes elements from Way of the Water

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