Starfleet Academy Episode 1+2 Review

They said this wasn’t your parents Star Trek and it isn’t, that was good, competently done science fiction. This is feeling porn. Feelings Porn is a new phrase that I am coining, it is when every episode has to have a character cry, when everyone talks about their feelings, when all the male characters are soft and when masculinity is dead. This show is that in spades..

Honestly I am bringing you my review of these two episodes rather than the series as I don’t think I’ll be watching anymore. As many of you know I didn’t like Discovery but thought Strange New Worlds could be okay at times, but this is just YA slop. I don’t know why Kurtzman is still in a job I really don’t.

It is exactly what you would expect, minimal to no action, lots of quirky one liners and awkward comedy and of course every character is LGBTQ+ something. It is so stunning and brave that you won’t be able to tolerate more than about two episodes of it.

It feels like glee in space, minus some of the singing. I don’t know who thought that this was the way to push the franchise forward rather than you know Kirk and Spock and actual science fiction.

No doubt this show complete it’s 2 season run and then disappear. Hopefully the Kurtzman lead vandalization ends soon.

Overall, not for fans of Star Trek

0/5

Pros.

None

Cons.

It is cringe

It is preachy

They hate the fans

It feels like parody

It is badly paced

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Man VS Baby: Putting The Christ Back Into Christmas

Summary

Rowan Attinkson puts the Christ back into Christmas.

I mean that in several ways, he calls the Baby Jesus, this show features a school nativity plot line, and also it has moral lessons about helping the less fortunate at Christmas. This is a million miles away from other recent TV heroes such as LGBTQ+ rapist Carol on Pluribus, or the sea of other morally grey protagonists.

This short series is the short of slapstick you would expect of Atkinson and some times it does get a bit long in the tooth it is quite true particularly as it starts to escalate with the introduction of a dog later on in the run, however, for the most part it lands. Atkinson here, much to his personal chagrin, is probably one of his nicest and most self-less characters and goes out of his way to befriend and be nice to nearly everyone he meets, as referenced by the end feast scene.

Whilst this is more of what you would expect from Atkinson it is a nice winter warmer and does a lot to restore your sense of hope in your fellow man, and gives you a nice positive glow that few shows these days do. Just think of what Netflix could achieve if they made more things like this and less CGI slop about gay kids and monsters.

Overall, one of the better Christmas programs from the season.

4/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It is funny

It has charm

It has old school appeal

Cons.

It gets a bit repetitive in the end

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All’s Fair: Ryan Murphy Shouldn’t Be Allowed In Hollywood Anymore

Summary

For a while I have been on the precipice of cancelling Disney +, but this show pushed me over the edge.

So you have a girlboss show about female divorce lawyers, who all of course have messy person lives. Because in the year of our Lord 2026, we need Hollywood to show us that women can be anything, even though this was already established years ago by Legally Blonde with regards to the Law.

It is very clear this series was created by Ryan Murphy as it feels like his sort of incredibly vapid writing, that reflects how no one really talks. Murphy seems to have a real issue writing for women and really doesn’t seem to understand them, the way the heroines? Behave herein makes them instantly dislikable from the off and over the course of the show you actively root against them.

I don’t know why Murphy is trying to force Kim Kardashian on us as an actor, but I will say she gave a better performance in the ‘leaked’ sex tape than she does in any of the projects Murphy tries to stick her in. In many ways Kardashian is like a black hole, her inability to act also ruins the performances of people who actually can act like Naomi Watts.

Overall, who is this for?

0.5/5

Pros.

It helped me fall asleep

Cons.

The characters are dislikable

The writing is awful

It is cringe

Kim Kardashian

It is slop designed to destroy your brain

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Stranger Things: The Final Episode

It is a shame we didn’t get more of this across the season. It would have been nice to have had this set up better, rather than have a 30 monitor Will coming out scene.

The action was good and the scope was good, for the first hour, it was fun seeing the gang fighting the military and Vecna, although the latter didn’t get to do much. Having Eleven’s friend die gave us some stakes. It is a real shame more characters didn’t die to give the finale a more final feeling rather than just to be continued.

I had issues with the ending, it makes no sense that Sarah Hamilton would just let them go, it makes no sense that the show wants you to believe that even with an 18 month time jump Nancy and Robin are good friends despite never sharing a scene together, it is also horribly paced and the ending wrap up takes longer than it does to beat Vecna.

I am glad they didn’t go down the road of oh Vecna was actually a goodie all along or try and redeem him, the scene of Joyce cutting his head off was earned. I really hated that we had to have a follow up scene to Will’s coming out between him and Mike that just added to the needless subplot, but hey they didn’t have him kill Vecna with a rainbow so that’s progress. Also I really hated the Jonathan and Steve scene wherein they set up Jonathan saving him hence why they have been quarreling all season.

It is also incredibly telling they gave Mr Wheeler nothing to do and made Hopper incompetent meanwhile Nancy was a deadeye.

Overall, it was better than the rest of the season but not hugely, they also forgot that Demegorgoans exist in the finale battle.

2/5

Pros.

It had some epic moments

It brought it to an neat end (this won’t be the end they’ll do a sequel series)

Cons.

The Will’s gay plotline went nowhere

Vecna didn’t have much to do

The plot holes

Emily In Paris Season 5: Making You Want To Burn A US Flag

Summary

The cultural cancer that is Emily In Paris is back for a 5^th season.

I thought that after reviewing the earlier seasons and then taking a break I was done with this show, but I decided to revisit it.

In light of modern events, the idea of American Exceptionalism particularly in Europe is more than a bad joke. Rather than help its allies out The US government would rather hangout with dictators and white supremacists, as such the US is pretty loathed right now by most of thinking Europe. The fact that the US thinks it can lecture Europe on policy, and encourage extremist parties in Europe , and maintain friendly relations is a joke, once again it is bad.

Europe didn’t need Emily’s brand of loud over the top, omg look at me energy, back when the first season came out, but now the idea of an American coming to Europe and telling them how to be, and being met with anything other than hostility is ridiculous to the point of being absurd. Emily doesn’t just spit on the French but the Italians get it this time as well. Every negative cultural stereotype you can imagine happens to Emily almost as soon as she arrives, seems nowhere can be as great as the US which seems to have multiple school shootings per day.

This show was conceived as mindless slop but has become so culturally loaded that I am surprised Netflix even allows this to air in Europe anymore.

Overall, this is why the US is loathed globally at the moment.

1/5

Pros.

At times this almost read like a knowing self-aware parody of American’s abroad, but that would be too clever for this show.

Cons.

American Exceptionalism was never real.

It is a hurtful collection of stereotypes

The characters are unlikeable

It is slop

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Marvel Zombies: The Woke Zombies Of Disney Marvel

Summary

Marvel Zombies, a cool comic book, becomes yet more girl boss Marvel fare.

In the classic Robert Kirkman comic run, the Zombies were made up of people like Reed Richards, Ant Man, and Captain America. Here they are made up of Okoye, Wanda and Carol Danvers, can you see what is going on.

Perhaps this will help.

We begin this series following Ms Marvel, Kate Bishop and Riri Wiliams, we then meet Blade, Yelena, and the Red Guardian. Following that we meet Shang Chi and Katie. Do you see it yet. Two things are happening here, firstly it is a girlboss show which ends with Riri, Kamala and Wanda, and secondly that there are close to no popular male heroes from before phase four, amongst the ranks of the living.

They also can’t quite seem to decide what sorts of zombies they want to have, intelligent zombies that can talk or mindless zombies that can’t. You’ll notice that zombie Clint Barton and Zombie Cap don’t say a word, whereas Okoye has many a monologue. Do you get it yet.

I feel like I am just repeating myself at this point. One thing I can say with certainty is that Disney + killed Marvel dead. Whoever is in charge of Marvel’s output on Disney + needs the sack.

0.5/5

Pros.

It has a few good moments that lean towards horror

Cons.

The characters are all phase four wash outs

It is a girlboss show to it’s core

It makes pops at legacy characters

It has awful Marvel humour in it

It ruins a great comics run

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Pluribus: Lesbian Rape

Summary

An interesting show about an end of the world type scenario, which then asks you to sympathise with a rapist.

Lets crack into it, I enjoyed this show until the penultimate episode. Carol was abrasive but you still bought her struggle to restore humanity from the hive mind it had turned into. Carol is a lesbian, and over the course of the show she comes to find a fondness in one of the infected, who is part of the global hivemind and has to do whatever Carol says, this is problematic as this woman is now herself she is part of the hivemind, she may not even have been bi or a lesbian before, she is a person who is not in control of her own body. Then to add to matters Carol sleeps with this woman who is not in control of herself and has to do whatever Carol wants this is rape, it is not informed consent. No two ways about it.

This is a fundamental issue as there is no way to fix what Carol has done or redeem her. The show has her turn against the hive mind in the end as it is stealing her eggs, rather than you know a turn of heroism she now wants to kill it out of spite.

Morality in Hollywood folks.

2/5

Pros.

The first seven episodes are good

The premise is interesting

Cons.

The lead rapes someone and the show asks you to like her afterwards

The character is fundamentally ruined

The writing breaks the show

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Stranger Things Season 5 Part Two: Stunning And Brave

Summary

This ladies and gentlemen is the moment Stranger Things died.

So the first half begun a worrying trend, or focusing on new characters which in turn limited the amount of time we got with the old ones, see Holly and Derek. For the second part you can add in Kai, an older character reintroduced, so technically like a new character, and much like Holly and Derek no one cares about her, she takes up time and gets in the way of character dynamics you actually care about.

Not that much actually happens in these episodes, mainly it is just characters talking in a room, Dustin and Steve have an argument, Nancy and Jonathan break up and then get back together? It is hard to tell, and Will says what every character has known since the first season and once again tries it on with his straight friend who isn’t interested. At times I skipped over some of these long drawn out monologues and pointless scenes as it was just a waste of time. Having Will come out isn’t brave or new it is about ten a penny with most Hollywood shows and films now, it was just cringe. You had a bit of action as Max left the Henry’s world but really that is it. It is just needless character drama.

What is the upside down, the mystery that has span the show, it is just a place in-between dimensions, and it is a gateway to a scary dimension, how clever how original.

Honestly, Paramount who just signed a deal with the Duffer Brothers should cancel it, as this is Game of Thrones all over again.

Overall, this season will make the rest of the show unwatchable.

0.5/5

Pros.

Mrs Wheeler finally getting something to do.

Cons.

It is boring

It wastes time with characters you don’t care about

Everything about Will

Nothing happens

What the upside down is

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Futurama Season 10 Overview: Dead Behind The Eyes

Summary

Season Three of the Hulu/Disney run may be the worst.

As you know I am a huge Futurama fan, I enjoyed the Fox era, I enjoyed most of the Comedy Central era, I enjoyed the films, however, the Disney/Hulu era for me has been the most contentious. As you know when I reviewed the first season of this era I didn’t like it, outside of one or two episodes, then the second season came out and I was warmer towards it without it being anywhere near the old stuff, I ended my review of last season on a positive note thinking that it was only up from there. Then they made this season……. Which may be the worst in the shows history.

I think the main thing ruining Futurama in the current moment is the modern dayisms and the lectures, older episodes took political problems or concepts and made them into something fun or treated them as an aspect in a wider adventure, like classic Star Trek. Here it just becomes the writers talking at you.

I will go through this season quickly to make my point. The first episode opens with one of the famous Bender being insecure or threatened episodes, these are always good, and this one is serviceable, its about his height rather than one of his long standing insecurities. There is a better Bender episode later in the season. You will see he is one of the two bright spots of the season. The second episode may well be the worst of the series as a whole. It is a climate change episode wherein they repeatedly say if only this information, that the earth was heading for a climate emergency, was available in 2025, and then go it is over and over again. They also condemn the people of our modern age for not doing more to stop it despite having the information. Despite trying to put this in an adventure it just turns into a lecture its awful. Then you have a horrible Fry and Leela episode where episode now being engaged, she just decides randomly she doesn’t like him as the episode needs a conflict and then sets up a narrative that she is going to get into a relationship with someone else, again. How many times across the show have they done this, it is not trolling the audience it is just disrespecting the world and the characters at this point, they are a couple you went there stick with it, stop breaking them up for episode drama, It is cheap and lazy. The double whammy of these two episodes back to back almost made me stop watching all together. Then you have a very generic and forgettable adventure with talking numbers, it isn’t good but at least it isn’t as horrible as the two previous episodes. The fifth episode of the season starts out as an episode about the parents being upset that kids today are on their phones, you can feel the age of the writers, but actually ends up turning into a delightful tale about Kiff and his son bonding. Kiff, Amy and Bender are the bright spots of the season. The Sixth Episode is about the rapture and has a very solid premise but the payoff is weak and feels like some of Rian Johnson brand audience expectations subversions. The seventh episode is a commentary on Pizzagate, multiple years after it happened and you could interpret it to be an attack on MAGA, it is boring, cringe and played out. Then you have a Zoidberg episode, which despite messing with cannon and still not bringing back his girlfriend, is sweet and does land in the feels. Then there is the second adventure of Bender where he becomes a truffle farmer which is entertaining, it is Bender being Bender. Finally you have an incredibly dull finale that has an overly convoluted premise.

So out of ten episodes you have two strong episodes in Sacred Screenless and Crab Splatter, Two entertaining episodes with Bender in the Trouble With Truffles and Destroy Tall Monsters, then a few mixed bag or generic episodes with The Numberland Gap, Wicked Human and The White Hole, then three outrightly bad episodes with Murderoni, The World Is Hot Enough and Fifty Shades of Green. As such there are only four entertaining or good episodes in a season of ten episodes, that means you are more than likely to find a bad or generic one, that is a shocking inditement on the show.

The worst thing about this season is how it has moved away from being from science fiction adventures to the writers lecturing the audience about what they saw in the news, or some political event that has already faded from memory. This is what happens when the magic is lost from the writing and you are just writing to fill an episode count.

I would say that if the next season is not better I hope this series ends as I don’t want to see it further tarnished.

Overall, a truly bad season.

2/5

Pros.

The four good episodes

Bender, Amy and Kiff’s character work

Cons.

The lectures

It is dated

It ruins the Fry and Leia engagement.

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Love Meghan At Christmas: A Fake Christmas At A Fake House

Summary

Meghan Markle is back to save Christmas.

Much like the Grinch here Meghan tries her best to seem affable to get guests to come around to her house and desperately appease her, but if they say something she doesn’t like she will steal their presents. You get this vibe when Prince Harry who you imagine has been kept forcibly locked under the stairs for the past season arrives in the final few minutes and thanks his wife ‘for having him’. I imagine his SS costume that he was going to get for Christmas will have gone missing now as Megrinch teaches him a lesson.

Jokes aside this is more of what Meghan does best hosting various Z list celebrities and having them speak wellness speak, as Meghan pretends that she is listening. All the while she is thinking about her campaign for President on the democratic nomination. The guests she has for the special are a mixture of cringe, quiet and pandering, they all make the same awkward small talk, some with more of a feeling of duress.

Meghan tries to pull out all the stops including wearing Christmas pyjamas and does manage to make it feel Christmassy, despite her being fake, not in her own house and with her kids off and out of sight.

The cringe never ends.

Overall, a funny experience if you watch it ironically and see how weird and out of touch Meghan is.

3/5

Pros.

It is funny not intentionally

It is short

The discomfort is real

Cons.

It is very fake feeling

It is more of the same

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