Bob Marley One Love: Music Conquers All

Summary

A biopic about Bob Marley.

These musical biopics are all the same at this point, sure they are based on real life so they can’t do much to jazz it up, but it is always the same the rise, the stardom and then the fall. There is nothing to mix it up and the only difference is the songs that litter the films sound track, honestly I think we need to have a period of time without any more musical biopics to make this repetition sit better, but hey we are getting a Michael Jackson biopic next year that hopefully will address why he slept in bed with children. Hollywood doesn’t listen to its customers any more and that is why box office returns are only getting worse.

Kingsley Ben-Adir does a good job in the lead role and you buy the character. I would say he was the best actor in the piece by quite a wide margin. Lashana Lynch was fine, but mostly forgettable, one could argue that was not her fault as they didn’t give her much of anything to do.

Perhaps if I was a bigger Marley fan I would have gotten more out of it, I don’t know I just think that at this point we have seen similar narratives so many times over that it loses anything special it ever had.

The songs were good but you would expect them to be.

Overall, fine but easily forgettable.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

The songs are good

It is reasonably well paced

Cons.

It is the same the story you have heard before

Nothing is beyond average about it

They waste most of the cast

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Wish: Disney Wanted This To Bomb

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Disney fires a massive blast on their side of the culture war, sadly it has blown back on them in a big way.

I went to see this opening day, there were three other people there that is the strength of the Disney brand these days. Anyway, where to begin with this film that made me turn to my girlfriend and go no more Disney animations ever again.

Firstly the plot is beyond simplistic, like really there is no plot beyond an incredibly ham-fisted social message that everyone is special and unique and if life is ever even slightly unfair it is your duty to totally Karen out about it and that only through revolution can anything ever be achieved.

I mean I may be reading it wrong, but personally seeing how two of the only white male characters were evil and how it was the duty of everyone else to punish them it just felt like yet more preaching and like I was being told this film was not for me. If they had made the King look exactly like Donald Trump I would not have been surprised as that as clearly what they were going for, and this might play in America but outside of America audience’s don’t care for their social justice messages. As you all well know, if you have read my reviews for some time, I don’t mind a progressive message at all but when they decide to lecture and force it down the audience’s throat then it becomes clawing quickly.

The songs were not great either, which seems like an easy thing they could have gotten right, the only one that was catchy was Chris Pine’s song about how ungrateful people are. The rest aren’t terrible but they all come off feeling the same which is fine but it doesn’t do anything to sell the film.

I had heard that the ending of the film basically set up a Disney animated films shared universe, and after having seen it I question whether I was lied to. There is some implication of it but I thought it would be clearly shown, that was half of the appeal to me.

One thing I did like about the film that I will give it a half point for was the absurdity with the chickens that was a lot of fun, but sadly that was all the fun on offer in the entire hour and a half ish runtime.

Overall, another lecture from Disney

0.5/5

Pros.

The chickens

Cons

It is preachy

The real world parallel is right there for all to see and it’s irritating

The songs bar one aren’t good

It isn’t fun to watch

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Babylon: Hollywood’s Continued Love Affair With Itself

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The lives of a group of actors, writers, and others involved in the films industry are forever changed as Hollywood leaves the silent era.

I think this film is at its best when it is going wild, whether that is the hedonistic dance number or Tobey McGuire covering his face in grease paint. When it loses track of the wider points it is trying to make about chasing stardom and your dreams never turning out to be what you want them to be, all of which have been made before and in a much more nuance and layered way that this film, the film is fun. The grotesque spectacle of Hollywood as a playground for broken millionaires does have some mileage, and that is why the party scenes are the highlight of the film.

I think personally, this is one of Chazelle’s most accessible films for me and the only one outside of Whiplash that I could really ever get into. This again was more a result of the gross levels of debauchery and ideocracy that you can’t help but stare at then as a result of the plot. For the most part the narrative of the film is fairly aimless and tries to be insightful whilst going through the motions, all the while you are just counting down the moments to the next manic burst of energy that you know is coming.

Margot Robbie tries her best to anchor the film and keep it afloat but struggles, however, I don’t really think any of the actors in this film would be strong enough to carry it on their backs. Even veterans like Brad Pitt can light up the screen for a few scenes but are then quickly put back in their box as the film doesn’t know what to do with them. Diego Cava’s Manny is a serviceable and likeable protagonist but there isn’t enough fresh about him to really make him stand out against the likes of Robbie, Pitt and a greased up McGuire.

Finally, though no one is watching this film for a history lesson I would be remiss not to point out that by all accounts the version of Hollywood this film portrays is not only not accurate in a historical sense but is also incredibly and I do mean incredibly sanitised. Any notions of racism, sexism or predatory sexual practice, all of which we know would likely have been fairly common at the time are conveniently left out so Hollywood can fetishize its early days and blow more hot air up itself.

Overall, fun when viewed for the wild spectacle and silliness, but when things turn serious the film begins to crack.

3/5

Pros.

Everything about Toby McGuire’s role

It can be a lot of fun

It is fairly well paced for the epic that it tries to be

Cons.

It sanitises and rewrites history on a number of things

It has nothing new or insightful to say yet thinks it does

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I Wanna Dance With Somebody: Hollow And Soulless

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A musical biopic of the life of Whitney Huston, played by Naomi Ackie.

There isn’t much wrong with this film but nor is there anything right with it, once you put the fantastic body of work of Huston to the side there really is nothing left underneath. In many ways this film milks the songs of Huston as much as they can because they are aware that without them they have an incredibly boring biopic that feels just the same as all the other recent musical biopics. Everything happens as if on a checklist and obvious this film tries to stick to real events, I would assume, but it is the same narrative we have seen time and again, the rise to fame followed by the drugs phase leading into a downfall and then attempted comeback ending on an optimistic note. It is just so play by numbers.

Ackie was fine as Huston, her performance wasn’t anything particularly special and I do feel like many other actors could have played the role with more vigour and have fallen into the person more, at no points whilst watching did I think she was Huston just someone playing here and sometimes not particularly well.

My final gripe with the film which I promise will be quick as it is my usual is, why the hell is this film on for over two hours? I know why because they stretch out the musical numbers for every drop they can get out of them, but I guess my real question is when did it become the norm for films to be on for this long? It feels like everything that comes out these days is passing the two hour mark whether deserved or not and that is becoming a real problem for me.

Overall, a deeply forgettable biopic.

2/5

Pros.

The Songs

It is watchable

Cons.

It is incredibly familiar

The acting is so so

It is on for far too long

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White Christmas: Frighteningly Pro-Military

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A Christmas classic featuring one of the most well known Christmas songs of all time.

Personally I can see why people like this film, but for me it left me cold. Maybe it is the outdated views which make parts of it feel problematic or just how into the Army this film is but there was something about it that I just didn’t like.

Moreover, a lot of the songs, outside of the obviously fantastic titular song, ended up sounding the same and in the end the musical numbers became tedious because it was just constantly more of the same rather than any form of variety or range.

I did enjoy the sentimentality of the story, however, and thought that the central kind deed feels very in-keeping with the meaning of the season.

Overall, not a Christmas film that I believe ages well.

2/5

Pros.

The sentimentality

It is watchable

Cons.

The songs

It ages poorly

It is very pro-Army

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Matilda The Musical: Netflix Doesn’t Seem To Understand How To Adapt Books

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A reimaging of the classic Roald Dahl story.

Yes, this is yet another case wherein the original is vastly better than the remake, and I don’t even mean book to film, no what I mean is that the original Matilda film with Danny DeVito was vastly, and I do mean vastly better than this film.

My main issue with this film is that it loses a lot of the cheeky sense of fun from both the original film and the book, this film fundamentally isn’t fun but is instead depressing. Within the DeVito version we never really got a sense that Matilda’s parents were outrightly abusive towards her, yet we get that here. In addition Miss Trunchbull in the original film is a sinister villain at times but also has a core of cartoonish silliness to her that makes her actions seem less outrightly sociopathic and cruel, again this is missing here.

Another thing I disliked about this version of Matilda is the songs. There is no getting around the fact that the songs in this film are not strong, worse yet the film goes out of its way to repeat the same songs or lines from them over and over again to the point wherein you question whether the film is trying to force you to like them.

I will give this film praise for a stellar performance from Lashana Lynch who does make a great Miss Honey, but her performance isn’t enough to save this film.

2.5/5

Pros.

Lynch

It is watchable

It has one or two funny moments, but it is by far not enough

Cons.

Pacing issues

It is depressing and no fun

The songs make everything worse

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Spirited: Dickens Meets Dance

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A modern take on A Christmas Carol with songs and Deadpool.

There are times when this film is painfully cringe, mainly during the songs, but for the most part I enjoyed this updated take on the Dickensian world and think that it is rife for future expansion. Within the classic tale the ghosts were always the most interesting part, and this film knows that and so decides to explore them and their world more thoroughly, which is a smart move.

The songs are easily the worst part of the film and often don’t work. Some of them do land, but not enough of them. The ones that are bad either feel like knock-offs from other musicals or they feel like far too try hardy. The film even makes a joke of calling out the songs, having a whole character whose whole bit is to say really do we need more songs, but as many of you who have followed my writings for a while will know, just because you call out your own bad writing, or in this case bad songs, it doesn’t suddenly make them good.

I think both Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynold do a good job here and their friendship is quite genuinely believable, I would have liked more scenes of the two of them talking and getting to know each other and their worlds rather than all of the singing but hey that’s me.

Overall, a fun Christmas film let down by some bad songs.

Pros.

Reynolds

Ferrell

It is a lot of fun

There are some funny moments

Cons.

The songs aren’t very good

Pacing issues

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Disenchanted: It Is So Much Fun Being Badder

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Giselle, played by Amy Adams, makes her long awaited return.

I thought this film lacked a lot of the same heart the first film had, that is not to say this film is soulless but rather it feels more cynical than the first did. Obviously this film was made to tap into the nostalgia market, because legacy sequels are all the rage right now, and for the most part in that regard it just left me cold. It couldn’t evoke a lot of the same emotions as the first film and often I found it to be nothing more than just fine.

Adams is still trying and that is nice to see, other actors might have just phoned it in and spent Disney’s check. Her and James Marsden, for the few minutes he features, are the two stand outs of the cast for me. I liked that this time around they let Adam’s Giselle explore her evil side, and become a wicked step-mother I think it gave a greater sense of genre parody and also gave Adams more to do acting wise.

Overall, watchable and slightly above average for Disney + fare, but nothing great.

Pros.

It is watchable

Watching Giselle break bad

Adams

Cons.

Pacing issues

It never justifies its existence

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Lyle Lyle Crocodile: A Surprising Delight

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A singing crocodile, voiced by Shawn Mendes, enters a families’ life and changes it forever.

Is this the greatest film ever? No. Will this be the film that gets you into the music of Shawn Mendes? Probably not, but maybe.

Though this film will never set the world on fire I think it was a lot better than it had any right being. The best thing about it is certainly the energy and the heart that the film has, this film is a fun ride that is undeniable and during that ride it will make you feel things, you’ll laugh and you’ll cry and by Jove you might even end up liking the songs of Shawn Mendes. Before watching this I had never heard a Shawn Mendes song but now after watching it I can safely say I might listen to his music now, I feel like the film was a good taster for it.

I think the performances across the board were good, especially Javier Bardem and Constance Wu, both gave off real warmth and had us care about their characters. In the case of Wu this film really reminded me of the charm and charisma she had on the early seasons of Fresh Off The Boat I hope she keeps making films where she gets to have fun and show off that side of herself.

There are some rather obvious issues with the film such as weird CGI for the crocodile and incredibly blatant product placement, but to me I thought both of these added to the so bad it is good appeal of the film. Certainly it is more of a goofy watch then a serious film that you have to sit down and experience, it reminded me in many ways of the recent Sonic movies.

Overall, a lot of fun was had.

Pros.

It is a fun ride

It is very well paced

It makes you laugh and cry

Lyle is incredibly likeable and cute

Cons.

It is nothing new, but in a sense it doesn’t need to be

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Elvis: Tom Hank’s Worst Performance

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An Elvis biopic featuring a career worst performance from Tom Hanks.

Who thought Tom Hanks character here was a good idea? Whoever that person is should be fired, being subjected to Hanks’ performance here is nothing short of cruel and unusual. From the horrible over the top accent, that moves around constantly, to the awful facial prosthetics that become hilariously distracting at times, Hanks is destined for a Razzie nomination for this one.

Moreover, though I enjoy Baz Luhrmann’s style to a degree it is too much here. With the awful pacing and frequent needless asides this reeks to me of a director who was given carte blanche over proceedings and decided to fully embrace their style to the detriment of the film more widely, sometimes it is good to reign in a director. Truly, I think the most egregious thing about this film is its runtime, which is frankly absurdly long.

On a more positive note, this film does include all of the classic Elvis numbers that many of you will be coming to this film to hear, and in that respect you will be happy for the film’s obscene runtime as it gives you a chance to hear more of them and even to hear some totally needless remixes of them as well.

In addition Austin Butler gives one hell of a performance and manages to salvage this film from being a total dumpster fire fueled on by an unchecked director. Butler really becomes lost in the role and by the midpoint in the film you almost entirely forget that he isn’t Elvis himself. To further push that point home, up against Hanks’ ghastly performance Butler looks like he should be winning next year’s Oscar.

Overall, a good time if you like Elvis, otherwise fairly mixed.

Pros.

Butler

You get to here all your old favourites

Quite a detailed look into the life of Elvis

Cons.

Hanks’ performance and everything about his character

The runtime

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