The Damned: An Ode To Those Lost At Sea

A fishing team based on the coast of Iceland comes into some supernatural trouble.

Whilst the idea of a group of people being hunted down one by one by some supernatural entity is hardly new, this at least tries to add a lick of new paint to it by drawing inspiration from Scandinavian folklore rather than the same old well of monsters.

The twist at the end of the film, is one that I think is fairly played out, I didn’t see it coming, but when it hits it is somewhat of a damp squib, I would say the film would work better without it.

I appreciated that the film gave a lot of attention towards creating an atmosphere rather than just relying on cheap jump scares that become formulaic after a while. Particularly in that regard I found the use of the scenery and location to be effectively used to create a sense of isolation that really scores the entire film.

Overall, a January gem that should not be missed.

4/5

Pros.

It has a great atmosphere

The location is used to great effect

Interesting mythology

It is smart

Cons.

The twist

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Wolfman: The Dark Universe Takes Another Blow

Summary

The domestic abuser shared universe is added to.

It is odd now that in two film based on classic Universal monsters that there has been an undercurrent of domestic abuse, if they make a Frankenstein film where he attacks the Bride then it will be even more deliberate.

The ideas behind this film are so played out and trite that you consider if it was written by AI bringing back other werewolf films, the werewolf does not want to harm his family yet is ultimately a threat to them, cue cringe metaphors about inner conflict.

Julia Garner was okay on Ozarks but she really doesn’t suit the role she is cast in here, the idea of her as a mother is a little silly, she also has next to no on screen chemistry with Chrisopher Abbot. Seeing their happy family scenes at the beginning which presages almost all Blumhouse films comes across as two people who are strangers to each but who are trying to pretend to be in a relationship.

The werewolf form also looks awful, but I won’t spoil it too much for you

Overall, a flop for Blumhouse to start the year off right

1.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It is not the worst thing Blumhouse has ever made

Cons.

The transformation and werewolf form

Garner

The writing

The lack of chemistry

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The Advent Calendar: Belgium Really Seems To Have A Thing Against Disabled People In This One

Summary

An evil advent calendar leads to the deaths of a bunch of people.

I am all for horror being depressing but come on. I mean everyone in this film seems to hate the main woman, played by Eugenie Derouand simply for existing. Even her supposed friend steals the guy she is into and lets her go home with a horrible man who attacks her. It is pretty bleak.

This is done to make it better when the calendar kills a lot of these folks but still, it doesn’t make for nice viewing. Even I who have been round the way with horror many times, find seeing a disabled woman being sexually assaulted and then violently thrown out of a car and having to crawl back into her wheelchair, which takes quite a long time making it even more uncomfortable, to be needlessly over the top. It is not so much that this film is scary but it is incredibly depressing.

Overall, if you’re looking for a horror film to depress you more than it scares you look no further than this.

1/5

Pros.

It tries something new

Cons.

It is depressing

It is badly paced

A majority of the cast do very little

It is boring at times

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Demon Slayer Hashira Training Arc Series Overview: A Waste Of Time

Summary

The new season of Demon Slayer has one goal, to waste your time.

So if you have read my other season reviews for Demon Slayer then you know I often have the same complaint, the pacing and the filler, more often than not each season will have a few good episodes and then lots and lots of filler around it, this is where that shifted.

I wish I could tell you that the change is a good thing but it isn’t, this season was almost entirely filler far more than the other seasons. Basically the whole of the season was just the character’s training, which I know is what the season is called, but there is no build up to a grand show down as there was with the other seasons, no here it basically just builds up to a pretty disappointing death and then the cast are thrown into the pocket dimension with a big to be continued vibe to it.

I like the characters and I like seeing them interact but this was long drawn out nothingness, and the fact that there wasn’t even a satisfying pay off at the end of the all the filler makes it doubly annoying.

Overall, this is just killing time until the films and everyone knows it.

1/5

Pros.

It has a cool ending

Cons.

It is all set up and no pay off

It is all filler

It is boring and badly paced

It hits the same beats over and over again

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Nosferatu: Lily-Rose Depp Is Even Worse Here Than In The Idol

Summary

Robert Eggers is back with his most vapid film yet.

So I am a huge fan of Robert Eggers in my mind he’s 2 for 3, The Lighthouse being the odd one out for me. However, in his forth entry we see him move away from his art house roots and move closer to the mainstream than he ever has before, much to his and the film’s detriment. This film could have felt deeper and as though it had more to say if it had used more of Egger’s art house flourishes, what this film reeks of to me is of a man wanting to make a commercially, as in main stream approved film, as such his usual motifs and themes have to be dumbed down. I wouldn’t be surprised if after The Northman flopped Eggers felt he needed to make a commercially successful film in order to prove he was more than just an art house director.

The film itself is a pretty close version of the Dracula story/ or here Nosferatu, there are some changes to the original German silent film, quite noticeably in the villains appearance. If you have seen either the original German film or other versions of Dracula you know where this is heading. I found the fact that they stuck with the original film’s ending but changed it to rather than just drain her of blood here he did that whilst also having sex with her to be an odd choice, but hey they did it to get the punters in as they felt the need to try and sell this as some sort of erotic horror film. Alas anything to sell tickets.

Finally we move to the biggest issue with the film Lily-Rose Depp. So I have seen her in quite a number of films now Yoga Hosers, Wolf, a forgotten science fiction film, and now this and honestly she gave her best performance in Yoga Hosers. At least there she shows a variety of emotions here she has one face for the entire film, distant and robotic. Her husband who she thought dead isn’t, distant and robotic, she is having relations with a vampire, distant and robotic, she is trying to convey the threat posed, can you guess what I am going to say. Honestly, there are scenes in this film where she is rolling around and having fits, but also maybe possibly orgasming at the same time, its an odd film, and it shouldn’t be but is massively comical. Mainly this is due to Depp’s poor acting, increasingly it seems that she is becoming the actress that will take her kit off and that has a lot of sex on screen but that won’t make up for a lack of talent. Anya Taylor-Joy in this would have done a much better job.

Overall, a massive misstep.

2.5/5

Pros.

Some good cinematography

I liked the old timey dialogue

The rats were a nice touch

Cons.

Depp

It is a familiar story

It wastes time

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Monster House: The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

Summary

A possessed house is eating people.

So this is a classic of yesteryear often appearing on a lot of most underrated animated films lists. For me growing up this was a regular staple, I watched this film a lot, and watching it now I still think it holds up.

Whilst the animation is quite ugly it never strays too far into the uncanny valley, so unlike something like the Jim Carry Christmas Carol you are never left feeling disconcerted. I would also argue that despite this animation issue the film manages to be quite deep and effecting.

The love story at the heart of the film, I won’t spoil anything, is well done and quite a novel take on that sort of storyline. It helps you to empathise with the house and to feel a lot of emotion at the end of the film. I wouldn’t say it is an emotional gut punch in the way some animated films are, but I would say there is more than enough to get you a little misty eyed.

Overall, an animated classic that you really should check out if you haven’t already.

3.5/5

Pros.

It has a beautiful love story

It is well written

It has engaging characters

The ending is bittersweet

Cons.

The animation is a little rough

The sidekick kid can be annoying

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The Heretic: Soft and Bumbling Until He Locks You In A Cage

Summary

Hugh Grant is a religious fanatic.

I don’t believe this film would be even half what it is without Hugh Grant. His performance is pitch perfect, he goes from silly to downright sinister in seconds and the flip is chilling. Even when he is being evil he is still incredibly charming and has his little mannerisms that make it a bit hammy and over the top in the best way. If you are familiar with Grant’s filmography you’ll know what I mean.

As for the film itself I hesitate to call it a horror film, it really isn’t , despite how it might have been marketed it is a thriller film. In terms of thrillers it is not something that you haven’t seen before, it has a lot of very familiar elements in it, it is just with Grant’s performance you cannot really notice it.

I would argue that this film is Sophie Thatcher’s first real misstep in terms of her early career, as she is totally outshone here by Chloe East who gives the much wider and more likeable performance. Thatcher’s character never really demonstrates a wide range of emotions whereas East has to act a lot of different emotions at once sometimes.

Overall, definitely one to check out for Grant alone, however, don’t go in expecting too much originality.

3/5

Pros.

Grant

East

It is watchable

Cons.

It is not very scary

It has been done before

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Rare Exports: Refining The Santa Trade

Summary

A Finnish youngster, Onni Tommila, and his father, Jorma Tommila, find wild Santa Clauses and elves after a glacier is drilled and decide to make some money.

So despite the outlandishness of that premise this film is not a comedy, not really, it is more so an action horror film with a silliness to it. I found the film to have a number of scary moments, and I would say the action was strong in the last third of the film, hence I am happy to call it an action horror film. The jokes were few and far between so I wouldn’t say to watch this if you are looking for a laugh.

I found it interesting to see a Christmas film from outside the Anglosphere and to see how they approach it, I am relatively new to Finnish cinema but I must say that they have a way with vistas, between this and the other Finnish film I have seen of Sisu I have to say the Finnish really have an eye for cinematography.

I found the idea of evil Father Christmas/Elves to be refreshingly different and not go in the way I was expecting it too, so that’s a plus as well.

Overall, an interesting and fresh film, with some slight pacing issues.

4/5

Pros.

It is fresh

It has some good scares

The action is also good

The ending sets up interesting prospects for the future

Cons.

Pacing issues

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The Life And Many Deaths Of Christopher Lee: A Tribute To An Icon

Summary

A film about the life and times of a British cinema legend Christopher Lee.

So I have been having some what of a Christopher Lee kick recently as you might have been able to tell if you keep up with my reviews and as such when I saw this film existed I knew I needed to watch it.

I fully believe that this film can make anyone into a fan of Lee, not only is it informative but also funny and very personable. Whether it is finding out that Lee fronted a metal band later in life, or his exasperation at being called a horror icon by a BBC journalist and the following strop, it is impossible to end the film not liking him.

The documentary also has insight from some key industry figures particularly if you like horror, Joe Dante and John Landis both give insights into a man they knew well, as well as his family. I think your enjoyment of this film will be enhanced if you are a fan of Lee or horror generally, but I would argue you could still enjoy it regardless.

I would argue that they could have got a talking head from his later career maybe someone from his Burton or Star Wars era, but they did counter this by getting Peter Jackson to talk about his role in the Lord of the Rings.

Overall, a wonderful loving film about an icon of Cinema.’

4.5/5

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Hellboy The Crooked Man: Rivaling del Toro

Summary

Hellboy, Jack Kesy, is back.

Despite this film coming and going and getting zero fanfare at all I actually rather enjoyed it. This film set itself apart from previous iterations of Hellboy in two key ways, firstly rather than being a fantasy action film this was straight horror, and secondly rather than focusing on Hellboy’s destiny as the right hand of doom it instead focused on his mother. Both of these things helped the film to feel fresh.

In terms of horror, this film’s low-fi feel add it to the horror by making it feel more gritty and real, the practical effects work also went a long way to giving the film an atmosphere and a more realistic edge. The film’s villain I would say is the most effective of all of the iterations and has some genuinely creepy moments.

My one complaint of the film would be that it felt like a sequel, by that I mean the film assumed a certain level of knowledge around Hellboy’s origins and back story, and starts you off in the middle of an adventure. Personally, I think for people unfamiliar with the character this could be quite confusing.

Overall, a novel new direction.

4/5

Pros.

The horror

The practical effects

The tone

It feels like a Hellboy adventure ripped straight out of the comic

Cons.

It is not very accessible for new watchers

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