The Addams Family 2: Still Trying To Live Up To The Live Action Version

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Addams Family are back once again, and this time they are going on a road trip.

Whilst this is not a great film, it still pales deeply when compared to the live action version, it is better than the first animated film which did not seem to understand the IP. This film at least seems to understand the characters better and uses them in a way that feels truer than what we got the last time around.

There are a number of wonderfully weird moments sprinkled in throughout this film that I feel enhance it, they help to tap into the odd sensibilities of the franchise and play on its macabre sense of humour to a great degree. Some of these moments are better than others of course, but most are at least somewhat entertaining.

My issue with this film is that the central story of Wednesday, voiced by Chloe Grace Mortez, not fitting in with her family and then believing herself to be adopted, being kidnapped, only to then be rescued and reassured by her actual family, the Addams, is contrived. How many times will we have to repeat the same stories over and over again in Hollywood before writers come up with something new? Honesty it is getting to a point where I can accurately predict the endings of films within the first few minutes, please freshen up your story telling.

Overall, a slightly better version of the previous film though the story focus does hold it back.

Pros.

It understands the characters more

There are some deeply strange moments

The sensibilities are there

Cons.

The whole Wednesday story

Fester’s side arc

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Howl: Somehow British Public Transport Is Made Even Worse

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A train breaks down in the middle of nowhere and to make matters worse werewolves begin to terrorise those on board.

This is a fairly strong British werewolf film, is it Dog Soldiers good? No but few films can be. There is something so intimately familiar to the British experience within this film, the grubby train packed with angry people that breaks down; I have been there many times. Well maybe not recently in these Covid times.

Speaking of Dog Soldiers I enjoyed seeing Sean Pertwee appear in this film, he is always a very welcome presence as far as I am concerned. However, they kill him off almost immediately which is of course a huge missed opportunity. The cast we do get more time with are all serviceable though no one is particularly stand out.

The werewolf makeup effects and design were interesting, and we do get several good looks at them over the course of the film. I liked that this film felt like it was creating a fresh take on the creatures rather than trotting out standard genre cliches, the glowing eyes I thought were particularly effective.

Overall, a passable film that is fun to watch but one that won’t blow you away or stay in your mind long after watching.

Pros.

The werewolf design and makeup

The very British scenario

The ending

Cons.

Killing of Pertwee early

Pacing issues

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Anna And The Apocalypse: The Version Of High School Musical That The Disney Channel Rejected

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A Scottish highschool finds itself in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

I had heard lots of positive things about this prior to watching, however I did not end up liking it. The people I spoke to about this film prior to watching it had left out one key aspect, namely that it is a musical. I really didn’t like that part of the film.

The songs in this film aren’t good. Yes, that is a personal taste thing on my part but every time someone started singing in this film I started to cringe. It felt like a knock off High School Musical clone without the talent, zombies aside. I understand what they were trying to do merging horror and musical elements is a novel idea, accept Sweeny Todd did it about ten years earlier and then there is Rocky Horror so maybe not so fresh an idea after all.

The horror elements are okay but again nothing game changing. For me the best part about this film was seeing Paul Kaye get to have some fun as the evil schoolmaster. Kaye is a tremendous actor, and he was the only reason I kept with the film.

Overall, Paul Kaye is always fun but everything else just doesn’t work.

Pros.

Kaye

It is unintentionally hilarious

Cons.

The songs are Disney Chanel reject quality

The elements don’t come together well

It is cringey

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American Horror Story: Take Me To Your Leader

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of teens have a run in with aliens and find themselves pregnant as a result.

I very much believe that this season of AHS has been designed to kill the show, as those responsible for it want to move on to better things. Do you remember the time when AHS was actually scary? I do but seemingly those writing the show now don’t. The ending of the episode where all the teens find themselves pregnant is not scary in anyway, it is hilarious at how dumb and contrived it is; worse yet the show seems to want you to laugh.

So far this half of the season feels like the discounted one as a lot of the top name talent of the show doesn’t return and we are left with less than stellar actors filling out the cast. Now that is not to say there is no talent here as Neil McDonough is always a treat, but sadly even he can’t save this episode.

AHS fans have been clamouring for aliens to return since the era of Asylum, and the show has teased them out for so long, yet this is what we get? It goes beyond anti-climactic.

Overall, please let this season end.

Pros.

McDonough

The opening scene is strong

It is hilarious entirely unintentionally

Con.

It is not even trying to be scary anymore

It feels like a joke

They manage to ruin aliens

Ryan Murphy’s influence is slowly killing the show

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Nightbooks: We Need More Of Krysten Ritter In This Role

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young boy, Winslow Fegley, obsessed with all things horror is kidnapped by an evil witch, Krysten Ritter, and forced to write her scary stories.

I enjoyed this film quite a lot, it turned out to be much more narly and hardcore than I was expecting it to be, and it managed to create some great horror visuals over the course of its runtime. In some ways this was more scary than a lot of the adult horrors out there.

The best thing about this film is easily the performance given by Ritter. By now you should all know that Ritter is an incredible talent, but if you didn’t know it for some reason this film proves it to you. She manages to pull off so many different emotions with just her face alone without even the need for words. She captures comedy, sadness and intense anger and rage completely, and manages to make her character both sympathetic and loathsome.

Even the child actors were fairly good, that in and off itself is a big deal as child actors are never good.

Overall, a lot of fun.

Pros.

Ritter

The scares

The ending

The characters

Cons.

The Hansel and Gretel twist was a bit too obvious

American Horror Story: Winter Kills

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The vampire like monsters finally meet their comeuppance and the black pills go nationwide.

Why? Why do you kill off your most interesting characters, Belle, Frances Conroy, and Austin, Evan Peters, within the first half of the episode without even giving them one strong final scene? Moreover, why do you keep the boring and unlikable characters alive? It makes no sense. If it was not for Leslie Grossman I would have just turned this episode off.

This program doesn’t even feel like AHS anymore, it feels like a poor imitation. Where once the show had strong writing that all fit together nicely and worked to enrich the whole now we are given plot holes and throw away characters just for the sake of it.

It becomes strikingly apparent during the second half of the episode that other than Grossman none of the actors playing the characters left alive can really act and their wooden performances become all the more glaring thanks to extra screen time. In that vein, the child actor playing Alma is shockingly bad in her performance and becomes almost cartoonishly evil by the end of the episode in a scene that is more than a little bit dumb.

Overall, this first half of the season was a train wreck that has forever tarnished AHS.

Pros.

Grossman

A few interesting scenes

Cons.

The performances aren’t good

The child actor

The ending

It taints the legacy of the show

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Bad Candy: Forget Razor Blades In Your Treats It Is Far Worse Than That

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A myriad of scary stories happening around a small town on Halloween.

I have mixed feelings about anthologies very often they turn out to not be very good and one particularly poor segment can easily ruin the whole thing. However, here I found the good to outweigh the bad and the wider creepy atmosphere to bring all of the film’s parts together in a nice cohesive way, even the weaker parts.

Now, I won’t say every part of this film is great there are several earlier segments that are incredibly forgettable. Moreover, the effects are never very good, but in that lies a certain B movie esque charm, you can tell they are trying there best with what they have available.

The best thing for me about this film was the imagery that it creates, whether it is the detailed segment on the man that stuffs razor blades into kids Halloween treats or the vampire/ demon creature that along with his army buddies hunts down wrongdoers over the course of the evening. The film manages to make both original and classic concepts feel fresh and interesting, the segment about the old man lacing chocolate with chemicals was particularly effective, as was his punishment.

Overall, a surprisingly strong horror anthology that holds up despite some weaker elements.

Pros.

A few good memorable scares

Most of the segments work

The performances are good

Cons.

A few of the segments are on the weaker side

The effects look rough

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Child’s Play: How Not To Do CGI

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Chucky is reborn in a new world of tech and online interactivity.

This film is a travesty on multiple levels.

To be bluntly honest with you it took me three sittings to finish this film as each time I watched it I couldn’t stand more than about half an hour of it.

The only reason this film has a 1 is because of Aubrey Plaza as the mum, she is great as always, but she could do so, so much better than this. Honestly this film is just so terrible that no matter how good a performance any of the actors give it is quickly overshadowed.

I strongly disliked the new high tech Chucky. I thought the idea of modernising him and drastically changing what his powerset is to be stupid. It felt like a jaded executive being like ‘oh what do young people like today? Lets make him do that’. I think this film truly sullies the character. Both in terms of personality, as they don’t bring back the original voice actor, and in terms of appearance as he now just looks like an awful CGI mess. Nothing against Hamill of course but he can’t hold a candle to Brad Dourif.

Overall, I am glad this film did poorly enough to kill any chances of spawning sequels, this version of Chucky should be taught in writers rooms so that people know what not to do with the character.

Pros.

Plaza

Cons.

The child actor

Everything about Chucky

The story is dumb and convoluted

It does not need to exist

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We Need To Do Something: Ozzy Osbourne’s Breakthrough Performance

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family find themselves trapped in a bathroom during a freak storm, or possibly a supernatural apocalypse, and have to find a way to escape and survive.

This was an unexpected treat. The reviews weren’t good, so I went into this with low expectations, but I have to say I was blown away. I actually found this film to be scary, which when you watch as many horror films as I do you become desensitised, so to be scared is a sure sign of quality. I found the hand licking scene with Ozzy Osbourne to be the best fright of the film and it stayed with me for days after viewing.

I enjoyed the family dynamic and seeing the characters interact on screen especially as relations began to breakdown and things got gradually to a fever pitch in which everyone was at each other’s throats. I thought all the actors gave good performances but the two I would like to highlight are Sierra McCormick and Pat Healy as they stood out particularly.

I thought the ending was genius as it left things ambiguous as to what was actually going on outside. Ending on the door finally opening and then screams was a masterstroke as it leaves it up to your imagination which is far more satisfying than giving you an answer which has the possibility to underwhelm.

Overall, a horror film that actually scared me, I highly recommend.

Pros.

Healy and McCormick

The ending

Ozzy Osbourne

The scares and the threat

Cons.

A few slow scenes

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American Horror Story Double Feature: Blood Buffet

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

This episode explores the origins of the little black pills and shows how each of our titular vampire/monsters fell under their sway.

This was a better episode than the last, but not by a huge margin.

I thought this episode was better as it ditched the main family and focused on the characters that are actually interesting. In that respect Frances Conroy’s character proves to be a very compelling focus for the episode, watching her go from an abused housewife to a powerful woman not afraid to grab life by the reigns was an enjoyable experience and Conroy did a strong job throughout.

Evan Peters on the other hand……. Where to begin with the drag scene, honestly just why? There was no need for Peter’s character to be dressed as a woman, there was no need for him to badly lip sync a song, the whole sequence just felt off. To me it almost felt mocking to those who perform drag. The character hadn’t been stated in any previous point in the show to have done drag to pay the bills in his backstory before, so I wonder why it was forced in here. Honestly, the whole scene is just so poorly done that it is none stop cringe.

Macaulay Culkin gets some fun scenes, and I would say this is the best episode for his character so far as he is actually given something to do and has some agency of his own.

Overall, better but not by much.

Pros.

Culkin

Conroy

The origins storyline

Cons.

Peters

The bad cringe

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