Prey For The Devil: Watch Out For Old Men With Long Tongues

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A nun, played by Jacqueline Byers, sets out to become an exorcist.

Before I get into all the ways this film was lazy trash I just want to give it one thing and that is the fact that it does have a number of good effect scenes where we get quite creepy and disturbing things coming from the possessed little girl, played by Posy Taylor.

Okay, let’s crack on with all the ways in which this film highlights the very worst of the sub-genre. The worst sin of this film is its script which is paper thin, ridiculous to a laughable extent and so incredibly predictable that you might as well stay home and guess how this film will turn out, not only will you be right and save money, but you will also have to give up a lot less of your time. Around about the time the little girl turned out to be the main characters daughter, a moved which is sign posted almost from the get-go, is when I mentally checked out of this film.

There were also a number of moments wherein this film was supposed to be scary but that it actually went the other way and was funny. This can be best seen during the early part of the film where an old man attacks our lead and has a tongue that just flies about the room and then he starts dancing with her, this to me was in no way scary and was in fact actually hilarious is this film supposed to be a horror comedy?

One last thing to note is that the girl power message of this film of breaking the system and that women can do anything men can do feels like it belongs in the nineties, it is horribly trite and overdone and feels almost like the film is overcompensating for something else, but I will let you decide what that is.

Overall, an incredibly weak possession film, but shockingly not the worst I have seen.

Pros

Colin Salmon

It is watchable

Cons.

The script

It is laughable at times when it is trying to be scary

The girl power stuff is incredibly ham-fisted and awfully handled

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Slayers: A Torturous Existence Surrounded In Mediocrity

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of influencers hunt vampires.

Originally I was quite on board with this film, I liked Thomas Jane’s character and I thought the comedy/commentary was pretty on point, and then it has to go and ruin it all by just becoming another generic vampire film.

I think the worst thing about this film for me is that it boils down to the same old same old, some vampires and slayers attack one another until one comes out on top, there is nothing fresh about that. Moreover, a lot of the characters other than Jane’s are deeply unlikeable and irritating: though maybe that is on purpose. For the most part any film about influencers is best avoided.

The horror is not really there at all, the atmosphere is more jokey than anything else and yes they do have a little bit of gore but really that is nothing too shocking, it’s all fairly tame.

Overall, yet another generic vampire film.

Pros.

Jane

The comedy/commentary

It is short

Cons.

The characters are unlikeable

You have seen it before

It is deeply generic

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Terrifier 2: More Isn’t Always Better

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Art, played by David Howard Thornton, is back at it again.

I have been looking forward to this for a long time, and my expectations were both met and not met at the same time.

I liked that the gory carnage of the first film continued on and if anything this film was even more ambitious taking things to a whole new extreme. However, therein lies an issue I have with this film, if anything the violence goes way beyond what the first film had and does cross into a place of being gratuitous and nasty. I think the gross out spectacle of this film is put before everything else and as the film gets carried away with its larger budget it never stops to think about how far is too far.

In terms of story we get more of a classic slasher narrative here than we did in the first film, we are introduced to new final girl Sienna, played by Lauren LaVera, and she and Art do battle. I liked LaVera’s performance and saw quite a lot of a young Jamie Lee in her, I think that if she sticks around within the genre she can easily become a new and beloved scream queen in time. I would say however, that the plot of this film falls apart in the last twenty minutes where things just happen and nothing really makes sense. The film is badly paced and does go on for too long, as you reach the end of the film where the narrative starts to eat itself you are quite ready for it to just be over.

Overall, more doesn’t mean better.

Pros.

LaVera

Art is still a great villain

I liked that this film deepens the lore

Cons.

The violence borders on the tasteless at time

The third act falls apart and then sets fire to the whole film

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Pearl: Who Asked For More?

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An origin story for everyone’s favourite old lady serial killer.

Honestly I have never been a fan of the films of Ti West often they struggle to appeal to me in anyway, some such as House Of The Devil and The Sacrament have shown promise but by and large I just think he is pretty talentless. X this film’s sequel which was released first only really had a buzz because of its goofy premise a slasher vs a group of porn stars, in actuality and in a technical sense the film is actually quite bland and quite a clear copy of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre at times.

The more art house elements of the first one really struck me as delusions of grandeur, West has always dwelt in the shock value area of horror being gross out rather than cerebral, and though some horror filmmakers can crack both, David Cronenberg he is not. The arty elements of X didn’t work because they just seemed jarring and out of place and here they make a little more sense but you just don’t really care.

I think Mia Goth deserves praise for trying to make this character interesting despite West doing everything he can in a scripting phase to make sure she is just your typical psycho who cracks because their dreams are shattered, how fresh, Joker did this exact same thing much better a good few years ago now. I think at its core that is the issue with these films, it is nothing new and the lofty sense of self that it carries around is unearned.

Overall, Fine nothing new or interesting, but not awful either.

Pros.

Goth

It is watchable

A few nice gory images

Cons.

It thinks it is way deeper and cleverer than it actually

It borrows a lot from better films

It is badly paced

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American Horror Story NYC: Something Is Coming

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A killer is terrorising the New York Gay community in the early Eighties.

Admittedly I went into this first episode with rock bottom expectations as last years Double Feature was so bad that I didn’t even finish it, and looking at it through that lens I think this first episode did a lot to inspire confidence and maybe even, if I dare to dream, to have AHS back on course.

I like the mystery being set up with the quest of who or what is big daddy, I am guessing now he will be more than your typical killer, if it does turn out later on that he is just a really muscular dude in bondage gear then I’ll get a little disappointed. Additionally the storyline with Billy Lourd’s character about what is going on on Fire Island is also shaping up to be an interesting mystery.

I think the performance’s so far have been quite good Zachary Quinton is back and is bring a real depraved charisma to his sleezy art dealer/ photographer character, and also Russell Tovey is also a very welcome new addition to the cast.

Overall, though the usual AHS issues are there, in spades, I am hopeful for this series.

Pros.

Quinton and Tovey

Interesting new mysteries

Back to basics feel

Big Daddy seems to be a good villain thus far

Cons.

It is badly paced

Much like with all of Ryan Murphy’s projects it is basically soft core porn

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Final Destination: Don’t Fear The Reaper

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of teens are saved from a grizzly death after one of their number has a vison that forewarns of the events to come, however, once safe death comes to claim each of them in a new design.

I grew up with this series, and though they are a little repetitive, it is the same gimmick every time, they are still some of my favourite horror films. I think this is in part due to the fact they never show death, yes I know some people view Tony Todd’s character as being a physical embodiment but I don’t, and that they keep things mysterious. I think doing this leads to a really creepy atmosphere through not just this film but all of them.

I also think that this first film is boosted in many ways by strong performances from Devon Sawa, it is criminal that he never came back for any of the other films in the series in a major way, Ali Larter and the always incredibly Tony Todd. Todd not only shines here but becomes a favourite of mine throughout the series.

The deaths here are not as inventive or as silly and goofy as some in later entries, but that isn’t a bad thing wholly, I liked the deaths here they felt quite real and grounded, though maybe not the teachers,

Overall, a very strong horror film that I would argue is a classic.

Pros.

The atmosphere

The scares

Todd, Larter and Sawa

The deaths

The ending

Cons.

A little repetitive

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Child’s Play: Don’t Get Your Kid A Doll And You Might Just Be Saving Their Life

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Little Andy Barclay, played by Alex Vincent, gets a Good Guy doll called Chucky, voiced by Brad Dourif, for his birthday little does he know that it will change his life forever.

Though I do enjoy the more light hearted fare that we got as the Child’s Play franchise progressed I have to say that I think the more serious approach of this film first worked well, maybe even better. I liked the wider focus on Chucky/Charles Lee Ray as an evil serial killer, who isn’t cracking jokes all the time, as well as the more serious look at voodoo magic.

I liked the plot of the film even if it does feel a little samey now as all other possessed or evil doll films take a similar line, I thought that it was engaging and I liked that most of the characters in the film just thought Andy was lying and tried to lock him away, it is more realistic.

Overall, it still holds up well though it may seem a little familiar to modern audiences.

Pros.

Dourif

A more serious tone

It has some good scares

The fact people don’t believe Andy

Cons.

It feels a little familiar and worn watching it in modern times

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The Curse Of Bridge Hallow: Marlon Wayans The Family Film Star

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family moving into the suburbs are surprised to find that Halloween decorations are coming to life all over town.

Marlon Wayans in a family comedy? The phrase seems wrong doesn’t it, when I think of Marlon Wayans I think of his plethora of adult focused parody films or perhaps some of his surprising dramatic turns, but never once do I think of him as being a family film star. That said I actually liked him in this and thought that he was the best part of the film, without him this film would have been a lot worse that’s for sure.

I think the premise of the film feels very familiar and nothing new is added to it here, for the most part everything is incredibly predictable and you know where it is heading. Obviously as this is a family film the scares are fairly light on the ground, but Wayans does bring one or two laughs to make up for it.

The wider cast outside of Wayans might as well not even be there because none of them even register. For the most part they are a collection of phoned in performances and cliches lacking anything even remotely resembling character or personality, this is why Wayans and his character anchor this film so well as they at least bring some charm to proceedings.

Overall, a fairly average film made slightly better by Marlon Wayans.

Pros.

Wayans

A few funny moments

It is watchable

Cons.

It is very familiar and predictable

Most of the cast here aren’t very good

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The Midnight Club Season Overview: The Horror Series That Forgot To Be Scary

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of terminally ill teens spend their time telling each other scary stories and vowing to send each other signs from the afterlife.

What I am about to say might sound like horror heresy to some but stick with me, I think Mike Flanigan’s Netflix series have been on a downward spiral since Hill House, with this being quite clearly its lowest ebb.

I have quite a few issues with the season as a whole but I think the worst is just how teen angsty the whole thing is. You would be forgiven for thinking that what you are watching is a YA series rather than a horror one and really that is because very little time is spent actually trying to scare the audience and a lot more is spent having the kids make long speeches about how the adults just don’t understand them. This is accompanied by many, many long drawn out conversations about feelings.

Another fairly large issue with the season is how badly paced it is. For a start the whole thing could be cut down by a few episodes and be a lot better, a lot of the episodes are packed with filler and plot lines that just go nowhere which could easily be cut out at no expense to the show. Honestly in the back half of the season this show is a slog to watch.

I really do think the most damning piece of criticism I could give this show is that it is not what it claims to be, this is not a horror series in any way as it never sets out to scare you and the few scares it does include, to avoid claims of false advertising, don’t work at all.

Overall, Mike Flanigan should take a few years off from making horror content and go back to basics and really figure out what is working and what isn’t.

Pros.

It is watchable

Anya’s story is easily the best and is genuinely creepy

Cons.

For the most part this show is more of a teen drama then it is a horror series

It is not scary

It has horrible pacing

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Invasion Of The Body Snatchers: Is Anyone You Know Behaving Differently?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

People in small town America are switched with parasitic aliens who make doubles of them.

I have never seen the original Invasion Of The Body Snatchers so I can’t say how this remake compares to it. Additionally due to my lack of experience with the original film I came into this one with fresh eyes not sure what to expect, I would say widely I enjoyed the film though there are a few elements where I think it can be improved.

I liked the paranoid thriller aspects of this film wherein we don’t know who is a pod persona and who isn’t right away, and as the number of pod people grows our heroes become more and more outnumbered both of these add to the stakes of the film as well as the greater sense of threat. However, the scaling of the threat is not done very well, these elements are brought in fairly early on and are at maximum from the get-go so there is no rising sense of things getting worse throughout the film, from the midpoint things are at their worst and it continues at the same level from there.

It is nice to see the familiar faces of Jeff Goldblum and Donald Sutherland, I would say both add a lot to the film though Goldblum probably steals the show. Outside of the two of them the rest of the performances are more of a mixed bag, I think this is more easily gotten away with due to the genre of the film and the fact some of the actors are tasked with playing aliens.

The pacing of the film leaves quite a lot to be desired, I would say the film could quarter its runtime and be better for it, as you approach the last act of the film viewing really starts to feel like a drag. It goes on for far too long.

Overall, a good paranoid thriller that could be better paced and performed.

Pros.

Some good paranoid elements

Goldblum

It is watchable

Cons.

The performances aren’t great across the board

The threat isn’t scaled up over the course of the film

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