The Last Voyage Of The Demeter: Dracula’s Untold Journey

Summary

The untold story of Dracula’s voyage to the UK.

I was looking forward to this film for a while, and in my opinion this film got a really unfair roll of the dice. Again it was a shame what happened to the production company but it really undercut this film’s ability to really find an audience. However, it did reach me, and I will be its cheerleader.

Yes in a sense this is a creature feature in the way you would expect, that is not a compliment, in that it is a group of people getting picked off by a monster one by one, but I found that outside of this the film did enough to lift up its fairly generic premise. Chiefly, this film does a good job at establishing atmosphere and making the confines of the ship feel even more claustrophobic then they otherwise would. On top of this when you do see Dracula, particularly at the end, the creature effects look well done and distinctive.

Overall, the best Dracula film in a while

4/5

Pros.

The atmosphere

The creature design

The scares

The pacing

Cons.

The acting is a little patchy at times

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The Blackening: The Racist History Of The Board Games Industry

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of friends come across a racist board game when they meet at a cabin for a friends reunited weekend.

I was looking forward to this film and after having seen it I can say that it was fine…. Well perhaps a little better than that as far as horror comedies go, which as you know I have very mixed feelings on, it was serviceable but it was certainly nothing to write home about.

The cast do work well together and have a number of good moments, but I found there was far too much backstory and interpersonal drama and that distracted away from the main story. I wanted to hear more about this game and see other people it had hurt not learn about two of the characters’ strained relationship.

The comedy had its moments, but these are far too few and far between to be considered a strong point of the film. The horror does play on a number of interesting themes and does a lot to address the tiresome tropes surrounding black characters within horror cinema, this is probably the film’s greatest strength. I would, however, say that the game itself, central to the film’s horror, is underdeveloped and could do with more to bulk out the idea.

Overall, mildly entertaining but soon to be forgotten.

3/5

Pros.

It has a few funny moments

It does a lot to buck tropes and stereotypes

It has a good pace

Cons.

Quite a number of misses from the joke department

Again the central horror idea is very underdeveloped

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Talk To Me: Holding Hands Made Somewhat Scary

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of Australian teens start playing with a hand and seeing dead people.

This review might be slightly controversial as this film seemed to be liked by a lot of people, but maybe this is Midsommer all over again. I think, and pardon me if this seems a little pretentious, that for a casual horror fan or the mainstream audience this may seem new and fresh, yet for someone who is an obsessive on the genre this felt a little stale to me.

The urban isolation, the corrupting influence of the dead, the fact that the lead, played by Sophie Wilde, just wanted to see her mum again have all been done before. The twists and turns of the film weren’t surprising to me it has been done and done better before.

The violence in the film is visually shocking and does create an impact when you see it, but even then again if you are going into this film as a gore hound wanting to see some gnarly sites then outside of one or two moments your blood lust won’t be fulfilled here.

Overall a fine film, not good or bad just average, if you are less familiar with horror and less familiar with A24 then you will enjoy this film more than I did but if you aren’t then you will see this film is just a retread.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

The violence is done well

It is relatively short

Cons.

It is predictable

Been there and done that in the extreme

It does not surprise you

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Insidious The Red Door: Ignoring The Most Interesting Parts Of Your Franchise

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The seeming finale of the Insidious franchise goes out with a whimper.

This film had been billed by its trailers as a film that was finally going to have the human characters go into the Further and get answers for all that has happened to them, we as a viewing audience were finally going to get to find out more about how it all worked and learn more of the mythology behind the series. However, clearly there was a massive disconnect between the people who cut the trailer and the creatives behind the film itself. The actual amount of time spent in the Further was probably less than across the whole series combined, instead we got an angsty story about a father and son relationship, neither of whom you particularly care about.

The sort of schmaltzy vibe that this film tries to hit would not be so out of place in Wilson’s other horror franchise The Conjuring where the character relationships especially between Wilson’s character and his on screen wife, played by Vera Farmiga, play a big role. Whereas here we don’t care the Insidious franchise has never really dived into this sort of thing before and as such it feels out of place, it feels as though the original creatives were too busy to give this a proper end so Sony just hired their second or maybe even third choice and said, ‘go for it’.

Again there is no effort made here for scares or to be scary, because despite being part of a horror franchise this film is only really concerned with addressing broken family dynamics.

Overall, a disappointing film that is bound to leave a bad taste in many fan’s mouths.

1.5/5

Pros.

Wilson gives a good performance

It is mercifully short

Cons.

Byrne is wasted

The Lin Shaye tie in feels incredibly cheap

It feels as though no thought was put into this at all

It is incredibly disappointing

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From: Season One Overview

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A large group of people find themselves trapped in a town they can’t escape from wherein they are hunted every night by a group of monsters.

In many ways you can see how this show was from some of the producers and creative voices behind Lost, asthey have very similar mystery/supernatural aspects to them. However, where this show is much better than Lost is the fact that it knows how to use its tension and usually progresses things at quite a nice pace. Every time the monsters show up, which is in most episodes, the show becomes fantastic and is electric to watch with the threat and the terror being palpable.

Conversely, whenever the show slows down and focuses more on the characters or their drama the show can drag. Now for the most part this drag is a rare occurrence and the character drama is kept to a minimum, but with the largest cast of characters it is inevitable. Speaking off the cast is a deeply mixed bag, some do a terrific job and really can be counted on as reliable pillars of the show, whereas others seem only there to broaden out the show’s potential viewership figures.

Overall, well worth a watch, but with a few issues that hold it back from being the next big tv show.

3.5/5

Pros.

The monsters and the horror aspects

The mystery

The season ending

For the most part great tension and pacing

Cons.

At times the show slows down for character drama and this hurts it

Some of the characters serve no purpose

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The Boogeyman: Clearly This Film Didn’t Have The Budget To Spring For Any Kind Of Lighting

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family is plunged into a fight for survival after a supernatural evil takes over their home following the death of their matriarch.

The director behind Host and Dashcam made this film, two of the strongest horror films in recent memory, my, my what a step back.

This feels like the most bland form of studio horror, entirely by the book and with nothing new to surprise you. The metaphor of the film is ham-fistedly done and stands in a poor contrast to other films that try and reflect grief through a supernatural entity, see The Babadook. If you have been paying attention to the genre space recently you will see scares from Smile and Barbarian repeated here sans the punch they had in those films.

The monster is well designed and does look genuinely menacing at times and that is one of the few positives I can give this film. However, despite this good design you will rarely ever see the monster because the film is so dark that you can barely see what is going on most of the time. If you want to get incredibly drunk play a drinking game for every time a character in this film enters a room and doesn’t put a light on, or every time in the middle of the day everything feels like it is on half brightness. I understand this film may have been made on the cheap and as such not have the budget to be showing off a CGI monster at every turn, but the level of darkness in this film is just ridiculous.

Moreover, in terms of performances the central family are serviceable, Yellowjackets’ own Sophie Thatcher steals the show in a number of scenes, but she doesn’t have much to compete with. The film has pretty much all the characters outside of the main family be dislikeable, I don’t know why. They even try and force in some mean girl stuff towards the end that just feels like the most cliché pap and makes you roll your eyes hard.

Lastly, there is something so depressing about this film that at times it makes it unpleasant to watch. I understand the irony of saying that about a horror film but I would argue that plenty of horror films cover depressing and dark topics without making the viewing experience feel depressing. Take Hereditary for example a little girl dies fairly early on and a family descends into hell, but at the same time it is still a fun and thrilling viewing experience you don’t leave the film sad, or at least I didn’t, the same can’t be said for this film.

Overall, a disappointment.

2/5

Pros.

The monster, when you see it

Thatcher

Cons.

It is too dark both literally and figuratively

All of the non-family character are immensely dislikeable/ they force in some teen drama for no good reason

It has horrible pacing issues

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Planet Terror: Go-Go Gore

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The survivors of a biochemical disaster must face off against zombie like creatures and the military.

So of the two Grindhouse films this is clearly the better. Whilst not perfect, this film is far more enjoyable, both in terms of having a style and a charm that I could easily get on board with as well as having characters that I actually cared about.

I am a big fan of Robert Rodriguez, I like most of his more adult orientated content, and this film proves why I feel that way. It has such a personality and soul and never stops trying to be interesting. I liked the tone the film set and how it managed to swing between irreverent and dramatic at the same time whilst still managing to also gets some rad kills in along the way.

I really do think that Rose McGowan is terrific here. Her lead is both one that you end up rooting for but also one that is full of twists and surprises and is a very interesting character that Rodriguez should consider going back to in his future work.

My main issues with the film is that some of the ideas and themes don’t age well, as well as the fact that zombies, and yes I know these aren’t zombies in the traditional sense, feel very overdone and just boring at times. Due to this I am more interested in the army villains within the film instead, but these do end up feeling underdeveloped at times.

Overall, the better half of Grindhouse but also not without its own issues.

3/5

Pros.

McGowan

The tone and the style

The gore

Cons.

It feels dated

The zombie threat seems overly familiar and played out

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The Pope’s Exorcist: Russell Crowe’s Italian Adventure On A Vespa

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Vatican’s best exorcist, played by Russell Crowe, has to travel to Spain to fight the forces of evil.

This one was strange. On the one hand it was a very competent possession film, nothing ground breaking but it delivered all of its scares as you would expect them and ticked most of the boxes of what people would want out of a possession film. However, on the other hand the film had a number of overtly comedic moments and little jokes which took me right out of the film. I am not saying there isn’t a place for levity within a scary horror film but I am saying that cracking a joke right as something spooky is happening takes the tension right out of the scene. What is worst the demonic voice they gave to the little boy who was possessed just sounds like a Cockney person who has smoked too much and is almost unintentionally funny coming out of him.

I think Crowe is a serviceable lead, however, I do think the films decision to have him speak partly in English and partly in Italian was confusing, as it would have made more sense to go one way or the other with it, as it stands it seems clashing.

Overall, a watchable possession film that doesn’t do anything new but delivers mostly in the way you would want it to.

3/5

Pros.

It is serviceable

It has a few good scares

Crowe anchors the film well

Cons.

It is unintentionally hilarious at times

It forces in awkward jokes that derail the tension

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Scream VI: A Triggering Opening Sequence

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Woodsboro gang move to New York.

To get right into spoiler territory, I don’t know how I feel about no one, of importance, dying in this instalment. On the one hand I wouldn’t have wanted to see Gale, played by Courtney Cox, meet her end in a film without Sidney, played by Neve Campbell, but on the other the amount of stab wounds the cast take and survive beggars belief. You really have to suspend your disbelief with this one as in some scenes the characters are stabbed repeatedly and given injuries that would surely kill them, only to be fine enough for a kiss at the end of the film.

Adding to my issues with the film I don’t know if this instalment did enough to justify its existence. As I just don’t think having the family come to avenge the death of one of the killers from the previous film is enough of a reason to make a sequel, especially as it has been done by the franchise before. I did like however that they are continuing with the question of whether Sam, played by Melissa Barrera, will become a slasher just like her dad. I think that is a really interesting angle that I would like the next film to focus on.

In terms of performances the central cast were all fairly strong. I do think that Jenna Ortega is starting to upstage Barrera a little bit and may end up fronting the franchise a little ways down the line. Speaking off I did feel weird watching a Scream film without Neve Campbell, it didn’t feel right and I hope she comes back for the inevitable sequel.

Overall, an enjoyable sequel for the most part, but one that doesn’t completely justify its own existence.

4/5

Pros.

The meta commentary

The opening kill with Samara Weaving

Teasing out Sam as a future killer

It feels like the most violent

Cons.

The lack of deaths feels entirely unrealistic

It doesn’t justify its own existence

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Pillow Party Massacre: A Sublime Slasher Parody

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of teens reunite at a remote getaway a short while after their friend killed someone because of a prank that went wrong.

No this film won’t win any medals for originality but when viewed from a brain switched off place it is surprisingly entertaining. I must state before I get into it that I have an affinity towards the slasher genre and can watch the same thing over and over again within it, as such I am more forgiving.

What I liked about this film is that it bothered to set up a mystery and build the world. When the film does reveal the killer at the end it won’t be who you are expecting it to be as the film does quite a good job of misdirecting you. The more I think of this misdirection the more I wonder whether it was a direct homage or parody of the first Friday the 13^th, small spoilers there, if so bravo.

I also liked that this film had its female characters have personalities and have conversations rather than just strip off and be hacked up. When comparing this to the film from last month Kill Her Goats the two films do a similar thing yet the focus of KHG seems to just be getting the women out of their clothes for a shower scene rather than trying to set up a world or mystery as this film does.

Overall, to me this film felt like a warm mug of soup, familiar, comforting and at times a terrific parody.

3/5

Pros.

The characters and the world

The kills and the gore, even if the effects are bad

It feels like a knowing parody of other genre films in a good way

Cons.

It is overly familiar

The characters make dumb decisions

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