High Heat: Life After Miami Vice

Summary

A chef, played by Olga Kurylenko, takes on the mob.

I put this on as the trailer made it look as though it was a relatively fun and silly hour and a half and I went in expecting bad puns and a general tongue in cheek attitudes. However, in all honesty all I was met by was an incredibly generic and forgettable action movie, that struggles to maintain your attention as you are watching it.

This is very much in that subcategory of action films that could be described as a John Wick clone, everything from the way the action is shot and presented to the mysterious past angle of the lead is reminiscent of the Wick films, however, unlike those films this does not have the world building or incredibly strong lead performance from Reeves to prop it up.

In that vein Kurylenko is fine but certainly isn’t breaking the mould. Looking at her recent filmography I worry somewhat that her career might take on a Bruce Willis like quality as she releases film after film like this wherein she gets paid for minimal effort. I suppose everyone needs to take work to keep the lights on, but she is so much better than this, this is a waste of her talents.

Overall, a deeply forgettable action film.

2/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It is unintentionally funny at times

Cons.

It wastes Kurylenko

The action is all very tame

It feels like a bargain basement John Wick clone.

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The Banshees Of Inisherin: Talk To Your Friends, Don’t Let It Get To This Point

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A friendship breaks down in rural Ireland.

I thought that this film was just the right amount of funny and sad, and shows how Martin McDonagh finally has his light side and his dark side under control, near perfect tonal balance.

The paring of Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson works tremendously well and the two play off each other really well. Additionally Kelly Condon and Barry Keoghan add a nice flavour to the film and do make their presence known despite only having relatively small roles. There is a lot of depth to both the world and the characters that inhabit it within this film.

I found the film to be quite funny, it made me laugh several times, however, I will say that the humour didn’t always land and sometimes the elevation and ramping up of the drama between the two men just felt silly rather than earned. Perhaps this was a deliberate intent to reinforce the futility of the feud to begin with, but rather than not I feel like a few of the twists and turns within the narrative are shoved in for cheap shock value, and that is to the films detriment.

Overall, a funny and well done film, that does border on the ridiculous at times

4/5

Pros.

Farrell and Gleeson

It is funny

The characters feel deep and the world feels aching to be explored

The supporting cast also have moments to shine

Cons.

The escalation at times feels done for shock value rather than in service of the story

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

White Christmas: Frighteningly Pro-Military

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A Christmas classic featuring one of the most well known Christmas songs of all time.

Personally I can see why people like this film, but for me it left me cold. Maybe it is the outdated views which make parts of it feel problematic or just how into the Army this film is but there was something about it that I just didn’t like.

Moreover, a lot of the songs, outside of the obviously fantastic titular song, ended up sounding the same and in the end the musical numbers became tedious because it was just constantly more of the same rather than any form of variety or range.

I did enjoy the sentimentality of the story, however, and thought that the central kind deed feels very in-keeping with the meaning of the season.

Overall, not a Christmas film that I believe ages well.

2/5

Pros.

The sentimentality

It is watchable

Cons.

The songs

It ages poorly

It is very pro-Army

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Matilda The Musical: Netflix Doesn’t Seem To Understand How To Adapt Books

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A reimaging of the classic Roald Dahl story.

Yes, this is yet another case wherein the original is vastly better than the remake, and I don’t even mean book to film, no what I mean is that the original Matilda film with Danny DeVito was vastly, and I do mean vastly better than this film.

My main issue with this film is that it loses a lot of the cheeky sense of fun from both the original film and the book, this film fundamentally isn’t fun but is instead depressing. Within the DeVito version we never really got a sense that Matilda’s parents were outrightly abusive towards her, yet we get that here. In addition Miss Trunchbull in the original film is a sinister villain at times but also has a core of cartoonish silliness to her that makes her actions seem less outrightly sociopathic and cruel, again this is missing here.

Another thing I disliked about this version of Matilda is the songs. There is no getting around the fact that the songs in this film are not strong, worse yet the film goes out of its way to repeat the same songs or lines from them over and over again to the point wherein you question whether the film is trying to force you to like them.

I will give this film praise for a stellar performance from Lashana Lynch who does make a great Miss Honey, but her performance isn’t enough to save this film.

2.5/5

Pros.

Lynch

It is watchable

It has one or two funny moments, but it is by far not enough

Cons.

Pacing issues

It is depressing and no fun

The songs make everything worse

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Troll: A Very Norwegian Kaiju

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An unearthed Troll begins to cause havoc in Norway.

In many senses this is a monster movie, or perhaps even a kaiju movie, it is about a big creature going around wrecking things and causing lots of damage and then humans having to come up with a way to stop it. Maybe that is what I should have expected, but I was thinking this was going to follow more in line with something like Troll Hunter and be about Trolls and explore the Troll legends of Scandinavia, but not have it devolve into CGI destruction. I was disappointed with what I got in the end.

Moreover, this film is in a sense also quite comedic and I don’t really understand whether that was on purpose or entirely unintentional, as the film takes itself very seriously but every now and again there will be a line that is very silly and that you can’t help but laugh at, it is quite odd.

Additionally, I found the CGI of this film to be quite distracting for all the wrong reasons. Now I am not going to go after the film too harshly for this as though it has some Netflix money, it isn’t like it has a Hollywood style budget so a little shoddiness in the CGI department is to be expected, but this film really takes the cake. It frequently shows it’s CGI Troll and my word does it look fake and jarringly so.

Overall, another dumb monster rampage movie with sub-optimal CGI.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It has an interesting premise

It is funny but I don’t know if that is intentional

Cons.

The oddness in humour and tone

The lackings in the CGI

It is dumb and squanders its premise

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The Eternal Daughter: You Can Guess The Twist Just From The Title Of The Film

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A mother and daughter, both played by Tilda Swinton, head to an old manor house that has familial significance to both of them and slowly mysteries begin to unravel and things plunge towards the gothic.

I was very disappointed by this film. From the trailer I was expecting a classic British ghost story, with maybe a few modern twists thrown in to update things, however, what I got instead was a suitably creepy film that then delivers one of the most obvious twists used far too frequently within horror cinema which then puts the kiss of death on any hopes of the film being good. The twist, which is that the mother is actually dead and the whole time she and the daughter are interacting it is only in the daughter’s head is incredibly obvious and I could have guessed it from the title alone, I was hoping the film wouldn’t go in that direction and would instead do something more clever and creepy but clearly that was too much to ask for.

It is a shame as the film boasts quite a creepy atmosphere for most of its runtime that does deliver some unsettling moments and leaves a lot of unanswered questions to go over after the film ends, both of which are why this film hasn’t scored lower.

To briefly comment on performance, Tilda Swinton is very capable as usual, but I would say she is hamming things up just a little too much at times here and there are moments wherein you could claim she is overacting.

Overall, a sore disappointment.

2/5

Pros.

The creepy atmosphere

The unanswered questions

Cons.

The twists is incredibly obvious

Swinton goes a little too hammy in her performances

Pacing issues

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Splinter: The Darkness Stares Back At You

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After the death of his wife and son John, played by Bill Fellows, sinks into himself. Whilst gazing into the abyss he begins to feel as though someone or something is watching him.

I thought this film was a smart psychological thriller, it played with you in all the right ways whenever you started to feel like you knew what was going on it then veered in a completely different direction and kept you guessing. The way the film approaches ideas of grief and mourning are also really well formulated and written as it brings a sense of grey tinged moral nuance to things and reflects deeply on a shared sense of emotion that most people can on some level relate to.

In terms of the scares/ thriller aspects of the film I thought they landed really well. Like a lot of good horror films Splinter is very focused on building and establishing an atmosphere, that feels just the right amount of oppressive, throughout the film and doesn’t waste its time stuffing in tons of jump scares.

The performances across the board were strong with Fellows being the obvious standout as the haunted man, the man out of touch with time and reality, the man lost in his grief. Fellows gave a very believable emotional performance that really powered the film forward.

Overall, a good film with an intriguing premise, definitely one to watch.

4/5

Pros.

The themes and message of the film

How it plays with grief

Fellows

The ending

Cons.

The pacing dropped a little bit in the mid-second and it started to lose me a bit

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Pinocchio: More Disturbing Then It Had Any Right To Be

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The classic tale of Pinocchio, voiced by Gregory Mann, but now with added nightmarish creatures and fascist leaders.

Well this film achieved the impossible, it managed to make the Disney take on Pinocchio, animated not the trash live action, look tame by comparison. That is no small feat considering the fact that the animated Disney film has it fair share of deeply unsettling moments, but this film pips it by having some truly quite disturbing moments. Whether it is Pinocchio’s frequent deaths wherein he goes to an underworld like land and has conversations with frightening looking creatures, in most cases voiced by Tilda Swinton, or in the design of Pinocchio himself that never quite lets you settle down. In all honesty I found Pinocchio himself and the way he looked and acted to be the most scary thing about the film.

Writing this review for you now I can’t honestly say whether I enjoyed watching this film, it was certainly an experience viewing it though I don’t think wholly pleasant. Instead of giving it slap bang in the middle marks I have given it an above average score as whilst a lot of things in the film didn’t work for me or I found a little jarring, I like how far Del Toro pushed the concept and the risk he took with it, the Mussolini stuff he did was really quite daring and funny and fit the film in a way I wouldn’t have expected it to.

The ending will also be a source of contention for many as it is not by any account a happy ending, if anything it is fairly melancholic, it reminded me of the stylings of Tim Burton if that is any indication for you, but hey Ewan McGregor does a great job as the cricket and mostly keeps things light.

Overall, I can’t say I enjoyed the film but it is bold and some of it works really well.

3/5

Pros.

A risky and more adult approach

The setting and time period

McGregor

Cons.

It is incredibly sad

Pinocchio himself is hard to warm towards because he looks unsettling

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Avatar The Way Of The Water: Nothing Short Of Torture

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

We return to Pandora for far too long and see the testament of one man’s ego.

I am calling this now Avatar 2 won’t make anywhere near the same amount of box office as the first film, mainly because this is infinitely worse as a film. It never needed to exist and that comes through in technicolour here. It is the sort of film that will be talked about on release weekend and then immediately forgotten about next week.

The film is on for way too long, and spends far too long exploring the world and spending a tedious amount of time with the new kids, all of whom have as much personality as a plastic bag, honestly the second act wherein nothing happens at all is basically torturous and the sort of thing I imagine even Guantanamo would say is cruel and unusual.

They bring back Stephen Lang’s character from the first film, for reasons, and normally I am a big fan of Lang but here he is given nothing to do. He has a very basic alpha male rivalry with Sam Worthington’s character, and a new son to contend with. Again the relationships and inter character drama is nothing new and show that as a writer James Cameron is way past his heyday even with other writers helping to boost things up.

The only people who are praising this film are people who are impressed by it from a technical approach, and in this regard I think this film is nothing much to be impressed by. The CGI looks about as good as some recent videogame cutscenes, and the use of 3D reminds you how glad you are that that gimmick died off last decade.

Finally the environmental message is just as ham-fisted as it was last time around.

Overall, a testament to why creatives can’t be given unlimited creative control. Let’s hope the 3^rd film is the last.

1/5

Pros.

The water effects are pretty neat

Cons.

It doesn’t need to exist

It is way too long

The story is terrible

They waste Stephen Lang

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Arthur Christmas: Getting The Same Present You Have Had For Christmas Over And Over Again

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Arthur Claus, voiced by James McAvoy, the bumbling but well-meaning son of Santa Claus, played by Jim Broadbent, embarks on his own personal Christmas mission when he realises that a Child has had their gift left behind.

I have heard a lot of people sing the praises of this film, but personally after watching it for the first time this Christmas season I just don’t see what is so good about it.

To be blunt with you there was nothing here that hasn’t been done better before in other animated movies, from lessons about self-reliance to not judging a book by its cover to family relations all of these themes that the film tries to explore have been done better elsewhere. Adding to this the plot mostly feels cliched and entirely predictable, you know from the off how it is going to go and how it will end and whilst for some watching this that narrative safety might be an endearing feature of the film, for me I felt it was boring.

To further build out the list of problems facing this film, the characters have no charm to them at all, and this is in part because of the writing but also because of the incredibly timid voice work done across the board. Both Sony Animation and Aardman have put out better characters that are far more charming than these dozens of times in the past, so who knows why they think this would fly here.

Overall, a watchable film and one that is good to use to mindlessly distract kids in the run up to or even on Christmas day but not one that has any merit beyond that.

2/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It would entertain little kids and would make a good distraction for them if any parent is looking to have some time to themselves during the Holidays

Cons.

It is boring

It is uninspired

The voice cast are only in it for the pay checks

I’ve seen all of its ideas and situations before

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer