Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince: Killing Time Whilst J.K Rowling Gets Paid

Summary

Despite war being declared, Harry returns to Hogwarts for a 6th year.

This is only marginally better than the previous film, and you will find that the issues I had with that film crop back up here. For example, there is more filler, lots more. Whilst you may be wondering what Voldemort and co are up to, or how they’re taking over the world, you won’t see any of that. Instead, you get a Ron, Rupert Grint, love triangle and even more needless teen angst.

I will give this film that it at least fills in some of Snape’s, Alan Rickman, back story which is interesting and you get to see more of Voldemort’s horcruxes which again is welcome, however, it feels like the build up to another film. Even the death of Dumbledore, Michael Gambon, feels like it should lead to more but then the film just abruptly ends after the central trio decide to go and hunt down the remaining horcruxes.

The more we see of the Death Eaters the more interesting they appear and yet the film never allows us to spend much time with them, even less with the Order of the Phoenix members. Who get next to no screen time.

Overall, too much angst not enough exploration of characters outside the main trio.

2.5

Pros.

Some interesting wider world stuff

The horcrux plot line

More time with the Death Eaters

Cons.

It is slow

It has too much angst

It feels like filler

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Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix: The Wrath Of A Karen

Summary

Harry Potter faces his greatest nemesis yet a karen, Imelda Staunton.

This ties the first film for being the worst in my opinion, there is so much wrong with this from the fact of how the whole film is an act of filler, both in universe as people don’t believe Voldemort has returned, and also in a meta sense as this delays the inevitable war for future films pushing it down the road.

Furthermore, outside of the ending fight this film is a mess of teenage angst and Moody outbursts, it feels far more like a YA film than a fantasy adventure film. Once again I would like to see far more background on the Order members and get to know them, rather than have to go back to Hogwarts yet again.

Moreover, the idea that Dumbledore, Michael Gambon, would allow a teacher into the school who was hurting students as a means of discipline is just ridiculous, and the film goes oh he can’t do anything otherwise the Ministry of Magic will turn on him as a means of explanation. However, the films set him up as such a powerful force that the Ministry wouldn’t dare, and he would never allow a student to be harmed at Hogwarts. It just breaks its own logic.

The dementor scene at the beginning of the film is really the only good one of the entire film.

Overall, filler in everyway.

1/5

Pros.

The dementor scene

Cons.

It is boring

It breaks its own logic

It is filler

It has too much YA garbage in it

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Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire: A Traumatic One For The Twilight Fans

Summary

Harry enters the Tri Wizard Tournament and Voldemort is reborn.

So this Harry Potter film is easily the best, you have the expanding of the world by seeing the Quidditch World Cup and seeing other countries and how they use magic, as well as seeing the other schools and how they present. I would say though that this film marked the start of the teen angst which comes to linger and ruin the flow of the latter films, whereas at least here it is minor.

There does seem to be a genuine sense of threat during the tournament and the graveyard seen is able to capitalize on that, with it being quite harrowing to watch Voldemort’s return and the death of Cedric, Robert Pattinson. I would have to like to have seen more of the Death Eater trials but I suppose you have to streamline things for theatrical release.

I think the film manages to do a lot to keep the pace moving along nicely with a good mixture of action and character moments with it never slowing down too much as we will soon see with the later films.

Overall, the best Harry Potter has.

4.5/5

Pros.

It allows us to see more of the world

The graveyard scene

The tension

The pace

The opening sequence at the Quidditch World Cup

Cons.

The beginnings of angst.

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Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban: Rats And Dogs

Summary Harry meets his godfather.

This is easily the second best film in the series, I appreciate the more adult tone of it and think that seeing more of the wizarding world such as during the night-bus scene is a credit to the film. The dementors make for excellent monsters for Harry and co to face off with as they are both evil but also fairly unexplored, we know they are a threat without even needing to see them be threatening.

I thought the film almost had a paranoid thriller aspect to it with the prisoner being on the loose and supposedly out to do Harry harm. There was a great sense of tension particularly after the Fat Lady is attacked that really makes you share in the sense of peril.

Lupin, David Thewlis, is one of my favourite characters as he makes an impression right from the off and you really buy his connection to Harry. Finding out more about Lupin and Harry’s Dad as boys was also interesting. The twist is quite well done and you would not realise it unless you had seen it before, I am talking about Timothy Spall’s reveal of course.

Overall, a fun ride with a great gothic charm

4/5

Pros.

The twist

The atmosphere

Exploring more of the world

The past stuff

Cons.

The pacing is off

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Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets: I Hope You’re Not Afraid Of Spiders

Summary

Harry’s second year at Hogwarts brings killer Basilisks and a look at what is to come.

So this is a much better film than the first, outside of the first half an hour which feels like its aimed younger than the later sections of the film, it all feels very in keeping with what I would say is the tone of the series.

Getting background information into Voldemort and seeing the first horcrux is also interesting and helps to flesh out the character beyond just the name. I do find it difficult that Harry did not know Voldemort’s name was Tom Riddle as surely there must be information available about him in the wizarding world and he would want to know who killed his parents, but anyway.

I like the mystery of who has opened the Chamber of Secrets and why are all these students being killed or turned to stone, it feels just the right amount of horror for a film like this. There is a creep factor to it without it being unsuitable for kids.

Overall, a better sequel.

3.5

Pros.

The horror

The tone

Setting things up for the future

Seeing more of the Wizarding World

Cons.

The first hour feels removed from the rest of the film

Too many side plots and angst

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Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone: Out Of Step

Welcome dear reader to the first in a series of reviews I am publishing over the coming few days which will explore the Harry Potter series a few decades on. We will be talking about contemporary issues with the franchise, mainly around the actors and we will be discussing it in depth. I have watched the series many times all the way through and hopefully we can have an interesting conversation along the way.

So straight off the bat I just want to say that I tried to not let my dislike of the actors particularly Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson spoil my enjoyment of these films. I fully stand with J.K Rowling in everything she has said and I think the fact that these actors, who would not have careers without her, so openly disparaging her is disgusting.

Summary

Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe, a young boy finds out he is a wizard.

So this is my least favourite of the Potter films for the simple fact that it feels so disconnected tonally to the others, and it feels like they don’t do enough to build up to the big Voldemort reveal at the end. Now obviously you are bound by the books, but I think that a scene showing more of the aftermath of the fall of Voldemort would have worked well here, we could also get a tease him being on the back of the teacher’s head.

As it stands it feels very generic fantasy, and that makes sense as it is a first film so clearly trying to find it creative voice, but I would have liked more references to the wider lore and world in this film. I suppose the film does introduce us to a number of characters and locations here so that very basic but necessary work is being done but I would have liked it to feel deeper.

Overall, a slow start and one that feels very disconnected from where the series will go tonally.

3/5

Pros

The effects mostly hold up

There are some enjoyable moments

The ending remains strong

Cons.

It needs more explanation of what happened in the world post Voldemort’s defeat

It feels tonally disconnected from the rest of the series

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Cinema Issues: The Fresh Half-Blood Prince

As many of you know the adult casting for the Harry Potter TV series is now out. Whilst there are some spot on casting decisions such as Nick Frost as Hagrid, there are also some impractical ones such as John Lithgow as Dumbledore, given the actor’s age, but one stands out above all as being ill conceived.

This of course is the casting of Snape, now Snape is the central character to the Harry Potter narrative. He is a half blood wizard, this will now be a problem, and severs as a minor antagonist throughout the series for Harry before eventually helping him out of love for his mother.

The casting of Snape is notable for one key reason, they have race swapped the character turning from Alan Rickman to a young black male actor. Now why did they do this well that’s pretty obvious? The cast was too white for modern day Hollywood and even though it is supposed to be the UK in the nineties which was predominantly white, you have to hit your quota.

The reasons this is problematic are four fold, he doesn’t look like the character from a book’s perspective, he undermines other key black characters from the books, it was done for the negative headlines, and the whole everyone is now a racist thing.

So firstly in the books they give a pretty good physical description for Snape, sallow skin, pale, long greasy hair hanging like curtains, so straight, and a hooked nose. Now clearly this is not describing a young black man, and the fact that both HBO and WBD have said they want this to be a faithful adaptation of the books means this is a problem. They cannot claim that with his major change that they are respecting Rowling’s books anymore, and it will only be the first of many changes.

Secondly, characters like Kingsley Shackelbolt and Dean Thomas who were prominent characters of colour in the books, could have been brought in and explored in more detail rather than race swapping a character. This is irritating as rather than explore these underrepresented characters both of which could do with some fleshing out, they are instead taking a well known character and just making him black which adds no new depth or anything like that. Honestly it feels gimmicky.

Thirdly, you have the fact that if this wasn’t just done to tick a box it was done to make people angry and to get people talking. Hollywood is still under the belief that all press is good press and that if they get people angry and making content about their casting or other aspects of their productions that it will translate into more sales. This is wrong. I have seen many people say after the race swap that they won’t be watching the show, because as I said earlier this wont be the only change done to generate outrage, it will go further and it will go deeper, this is a symptom of a wider disease. Many people will stupidly think that someone not watching something over a race swap is racist, when in actual fact they can just see the red flag that something like that generates with regard to respecting the source material and making ‘changes’ and that’s all they need to stay away.

Fourthly in the world of Harry Potter you already have racism to a degree with the idea of half bloods and pure bloods, and now they are going to make this even more overt by having a black man be labelled the half-blood prince, and teach the dark arts it couldn’t be anymore on the nose. Moreover, Harry hates Snape all the kids do, is the show going to say they are all racist, all these white kids hate their only black teacher, seems like a school of bigots. Moreover, Harry’s father was Snape’s bully, and you are supposed to like him despite this, yet the tv show will now have all these kids picking on the half blood boy, or worse yet if Remus, Sirius, James and Peter are white, a group of white boys picking on a black boy. Again the optics are God awful.

There was no need for this change.

Maybe I am making things worse and giving them what they want by spending time writing about it, but I see a bad moon ahead, I see this series becoming a Rings Of Power esque situation wherein it has no resemblance to the source material anymore and just boils down to over produced fan fiction.

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Snow White: Disney’s Most Obvious Attempt To Court China Yet

 Summary

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, it is off to the Congress of Soviets we go.

So where to begin with this.

Firstly, I think the backlash to Gal Gadot being Israeli and having served in the IDF, as all Israeli’s have to do, is anti-Semitic and wrong. To make matters worse the disgusting and terrorist supporting comments made by her co-star Rachel Zegler, no doubt made the film set harder to be at for Gadot, as such not only should we support her but we should openly condemn Zegler. However, if there is any justice this film will flop and with it, after all the reports of how difficult she, Zegler won’t work again.

Secondly, what this film did to the Dwarfs, making them caricatures of themselves and making them look horribly uncanny, will be a badge of shame not just for Disney but for Peter Dinklage for the rest of his career. Remember they could have hired real actors that looked the parts, but because of Dinklage’s comments we got what we got.

Thirdly, this film hates the original and its message of hope, and replaces it with narcissism, divisiveness and some good old fashioned Disney approved communist propaganda, how else will it sell in China? The love story from the original is paired back, as is a lot of the songs that were tied to it, Snow White, Zegler, is now a rebel leader leading the oppressed workers against the evil rich factory owners, Gadot. If you thought Disney were done shoving political messages down your kids throats as you pay them to do it, then think again.

The film thinks it can distract from these glaring issues by adding cute animals to every scene, they can not.

Overall, in the glorious class struggle for liberation from tyranny the megalithic corporation wants you to think it is on your side, it is not.

0.5/5

Pros.

It has some unintentional hilarity

Cons.

Zegler’s open support of terrorists and terror sympathisers

The destruction of the hope and optimism of the original

The communist messaging

The bloat

The Dwarfs

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Lord Of The Rings The War Of The Rohirrim: The Death Of The Girl Boss

 Summary

A footnote from an appendix gets a film made about them, as that helps fight the patriarchy.

So in a world where The Rings Of Power season two can be called ‘the best tv show of the year’, which even though I liked it more than some is simply wrong, we have this film. Hera, voiced by Gaia Wise, is not an overlooked character in the wider works, she simply isn’t a character she’s a throwaway line and that’s fine. The facts of the matter are twofold firstly, this film was only made for rights issues, and secondly that the only reason it focuses on Hera rather than Helm, Brian Cox, you know an actually important character is because of modern day girl boss identity politics.

Hera is automatically fantastic at everything and all of her male counterparts are either stupid or evil, or both. Moreover, the film throws things from the original trilogy at you such as Saruman, voiced by Christopher Lee, but this is little more than nostalgia bait. I will admit I showed up after hearing bad things about the film because of the respect I have for Lee and I wanted to see what the film would do with him, considering he’s been dead for almost a decade. The few lines, and I mean like two or three, are fine it sounds like Lee but sadly it is not impactful and just feels like more member berries.

If WBD could move away from identity politics and accept that the blue hairs on X will never like Tolkien and that’s fine we don’t need them in the fandom and actually started properly adapting things like Unfinished Tales with respectful artistic license then they could have major hits on their hands, but they need to do better than this. It will flop like Furiosa did for them earlier in the year, and the take away lesson for them is this, the girl boss is dead the folks rose up and said no more to the stoic Karens and we now live in a post girl boss age.

Overall, a waste of time and money

1.5/5

Pros.

It shows us some classic book locations

The animation looks nice

Cons.

It is too long

Hera is a bland character

It is a girl boss narrative through and through

Canonically there are problems with it

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Wicked: We Must Never Let Cynthia Erivo Ever Be Erased

Summary

A beloved musical is rushed to the big screen in order to get a supposed ‘easy’ pay day, yet any magic has long been ripped out of this film.

As the trailers showed us this was the most generic film of the year, there was no substance to it at all, the poorly disguised racism sub-plot is the sort of thing you might have seen in a children’s cartoon about thirty years ago. It is obvious and has nothing new to say on the matter if you needed more.

The acting is terrible from both of the leads, not wanting Ms Erivo to feel like I am erasing her identity, I have made mention of her name in regard to this comment on poor acting. The fact that they cast women far past their teen years to play school girls is just a bit ridiculous, but hey if they could act well it wouldn’t be a problem. Both stick out in different ways but one way to describe it would be that is abundantly clear early on that you are watching a film, they take you out of it at every turn.

Moreover, and I would say perhaps most glaringly is the fact that for the budget the effects in this film are quite iffy. There are again a number of moments where you are taken out of the film by the effects as they look poor and make you question how they made it onto the final cut, but hey I guess they are still working out the kinks with AI so it will get better with time.

Overall, a needless film in many ways but hey this is Erivo’s moment in the sun and boy is it mediocre.  

1/5

Pros.

It is funny bad

Cons.

The CGI

The acting

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