The House Maid: The Most Shocking Thing Is Seeing Sydney Sweeney Eat A Fat Sandwhich

Amanda Seyfried won’t apologize for calling Charlie Kirk hateful even after he died, nor will she apologise for starring in this slop.

Female slop is the easiest way to categorise this film, it is like one of those cheap romance/crime novels you can pick up from any supermarket made for the mass market, and mainly used for Instagram stories to show people what you are reading. The twists and turns are incredibly predictable, if you have ever watched a thriller, drama, or have the imagination of anyone over the age of 6 I am sure you can see where it is going from the start of the film. It feels like a big budget CW made for TV film, except it doesn’t star teens, it stars older actors who should know better.

The film itself is long and bloated, and feels like a film that is so afraid of actually going there and giving you something new that it just reheats greasy left overs it knows will make you smile at first but be sick later. When the film tries to shock you it just reminds you how dumb it assumes you as an audience member are.

Neither Sweeny nor Seyfried can do much to liven the film up and don’t even seem interested in trying.

Overall, yet more slop from Hollywood.

1/5

Pros

It is unintentionally funny

Cons.

It is predictable

It is boring

It is safe

Neither of the actresses want to be there.

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, customised film recommendations to suit your personality and tastes, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Chirsty: The Left Will Only Support Films About Lesbians If They Star Left Wing Luvvies

Summary

Sydney Sweeny takes on the role of a legendary boxer.

This film was hard to find for me thank goodness for the internet.

This film reminded me somewhat of Sweeny’s turn when she played a whistleblower facing her life being destroyed around her, I feel like she really does have a great propensity for dramatic work and is more than just her body. I think she delivers a solid performance here, despite, what washed up has been Ruby Rose has to say about it.

Throughout the film you really emote with Sweeny’s lead and feel for her and her situation, particularly in the second act of the film, it works as a sports film in the way that the journey and the personal struggle become the thing that defines the film, and the main thing that makes you as an audience member enjoy it. I wouldn’t quite call it Rocky in terms of being inspiring, but I would say it is a lot more real.

I think the main reason this film is not getting more attention is due to the perception that Sydney Sweeny is right wing and so is being shunned by a lot of the film journalists that would normally call something like this stunning and brave.

Overall, Sweeny is good and the film works well as an inspiring sports film with harsh dramatic turns.

3.5/5

Pros.

It is inspiring

You believe the personal struggle

Sweeny is good

It is well paced

Cons.

It does get a bit depressing at times

The third act needed tightening

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Wake Up Dead Man Knives Out Three: The End Of A Deal

Summary

Rian Johnson gives up.

The first Knives Out film was good, the second was bad, but the third is meh. Whilst it is better than the second film which was out and out trash, it is an effort in passive watching and little more. By that I mean the film feels very low energy and as though it was done just to make another one rather than out of a genuinely good idea, or need.

Josh Brolin commands the film admirably, but everyone else is just turning out for the pay check, even Craig’s fateful inspector feels like a flanderised version of himself from the previous films. Craig’s Blanc feels at times almost cartoonishly impotent or incompetent, and behaves at times in a way that is entirely alien to how we have seen him up until that point. Bad character writing.

The commentary of the film is on religion and how it divides us, but I suppose if done in a more effeminate way, is still good I guess, would arguably be the message of the film. Personally, I am not very religious, but I can imagine how if you were you might find elements of this film highly objectionable.

Overall, this feels like it was done to satisfy the Netflix demand for new content and not out of need, or due to some great new idea.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

Brolin

It has a few laughs

Cons.

There are too many underdeveloped characters

The preaching

It feels purposeless

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Roofman: Randomly Showing Juno Temple’s Nipple

Summary

The real life story of a man who lived in a Toys R Us after breaking out of prison, and then becoming infatuated with one of the workers there.

It is very hard to give this film a coherent review, there are aspects about it that work: the lead character is very likable and you do root for them and want to see them reunited with their daughter, in this respect Channing Tatum does a good job. However, there are also aspects that really don’t work: there are decisions made in the film in a narrative sense that make no sense at all, you just don’t buy it at times.

Also the writing of the film particularly when it is Tatum interacting with the church group, is so horribly cringe that you want to escape. I like cringe comedy but this is so painfully cringe that it makes you want to scream, I’ll also add that the film is not trying to be cringe which makes it all the worse.

It is nice to see Kristen Dunst back in a major role, I feel like we see a lot less of her these days, I know she was in Civil War but she used to be far more regularly on our screens.

Overall, a film with heart but also a lot of cringe.

3/5

Pros.

It has heart

It is weird but in an interesting way

There are some funny laughs

Cons.

The plot holes

The cringe

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Die My Love: J-Law Shoots Softcore

Summary

Jennifer Lawrence gets nude for attention.

So this is a Lynn Ramsey film and people need to understand what that means, a lot of the negative reviews coming out of this film don’t seem to be familiar with her or her work, and seemed to expect something different out of this film than clearly what it was promising.

This film is black-pilled to the core and suggests that some people cannot be saved, no matter how much you or they may want to be. Lawerance’s character is deeply troubled and only gets worse as the film progresses it is about her slip into mental instability and the uncurable nature of it. Rather than be a film that comments simply on post-partum depression this film takes it a step further and presents the very idea of family life as maddening, but also presents a counter-idea of inescapable trauma.

Jennifer Lawrence gets nude a lot, and has multiple scenes of her fingering herself, if this was done by a male director you would almost say is this voyeuristic, however, the film presents this as another sign of her mental decline, as women being sexual must mean they are crazy right, rubbish. It is kind of odd that since Jennifer Lawerance came back to our screens after a little time away, after she used to be on them all the time, she is now in competition with Emma Stone for who can get the closest to shooting porn without quite doing it. I wonder if this is a conscious career pivot by Lawerance or something that she has been ‘encouraged’ to do. It is showing as a pattern at this point, No Hard Feelings had a lot of full on nudity and so does this film it will be curious to see if her next role does as well.

Overall, an well made film that can feel a little exploitative at times.

3/5

Pros.

It is an interesting look into mental health that moves away from more trodden paths

The performances are good

I thought the film used surrealism and magical imagery in a way that was novel

Cons.

The nudity also feels uncomfortable at times

It is depressing

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

The Ballard Of Wallis Island: The Ultimate Stan Move

Summary

An oddball who wins the lottery, invites his favourite pop duo to his private island for a show after they have long since broken up.

This was quite a heart warming film and it doesn’t go the way you expect it to, you imagine the duo are going to get back together, musically and romantically, but in the end they don’t and that is presented as okay and a healthy step forward.

This film is not really a laugh a minute sort of film, I would almost hesitate to call it a comedy film, I would say it is more of a feel good film, it makes you smile rather than laugh. That is not to say there aren’t jokes in it, there are but that is not really what the film is going for.

You could I suppose argue it is a comedy drama film as there is a raw emotional side to this film, with the island owner being a widow who is incredibly sad, or the male half of the pop duo hating his life since the band broke up. This for once works as you do care about the characters so both sides of the comedy drama split hold up, you care about them and they make you smile but also you feel bad for them when you see how much pain they are in.

In many ways this is a rare beast these days an intelligent film that doesn’t need to be pretentious or tell you openly how deep it is, this is a film with hidden depth palpably throughout that is obvious to those who can recognise it.

Overall, a sweet film.

4/5

Pros.

The characters

The music

The charm

The emotional depth

Cons.

Some of the character arcs are perhaps not explored enough

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Bruce Springsteen Deliver Me From Nowhere: Wallowing In Depression

Summary

Bruce Springsteen is depressed.

That description sums up the entire two hour plus runtime of the film. You don’t need to watch it or read up any further that sums it up.

It was always going to be difficult to do a drama biopic of the life of The Boss, as unlike someone like Kurt Cobain, or Amy Winehouse he did not have the same level of demons. Yes he had a troubled relationship with his father here played by Stephen Graham, but other than that he was relatively clean. So they needed something to play up, and boy did they.

This film barely features any of Springsteen’s songs as it is doggedly set in a short time period in his life, so don’t expect many bops. Do expect scene after scene of him looking on at his childhood home as he sits in his car. The film really plays up this sense of he is mentally troubled and feeling down to such a point where it beings to feel melodramatic.

This may have worked if it was about the wider life of the man, and this was simply one of the sequences in it, quickly cut away from with a new song or event, but no the film felt the need to fixate on this period of The Boss’ life and show how he let down the girl who loved him and her little girl.

Overall, if you like Bruce Springsteen or his music this may not be for you.

2/5

Pros.

It has a few good songs, but most are absent.

It is well paced

Cons.

It is depressing

It is melodramatic

It does not feature a lot of his music

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Tomorrow: Guilt Is Both A Motivator And Destroyer

Summary

A Hollywood makeup artist faces a moral quandary for the ages.

So this film really captures the flawed nature of the human condition, it shows us as we are, base creatures that often do bad things, but also presents the spark of wanting to change, wanting to do the right thing in the end, in that sense this film is optimistic.

I found the characters to all be well rounded and to reflect the above message, I would say that what could be a very predictable sort of film manages to go in a surprising direction, and the ending hits a chord and leaves you thinking.

I think there is something beautiful about this film as it presents such a challenging view on life. I think there was a real chance that the lead protagonist could have felt unlikeable, however, I think the film manages to redeem them even though they are fundamentally flawed.

Overall, a touching examination of the human capacity for guilt.

4.5/5

Pros.

The message

The characters

The ending

It gives you something to reflect on in the end

It is well paced

Cons.

Some of the side characters need a little more to shine

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

The Long Walk: Stephen King Slop

Summary

A group of boys go for a walk.

So the easiest way to describe this is to call it Stephen King slop. In that frame I mean if this film was not based on a short story by King it would not have been made, it is very forgettable and there is nothing novel about the premise.

Basically it is a forced march, people die if they stop walking. It is a comment on dystopia’s and authoritarian states, I must say I am thankful that I have not seen lots and lots of online comments going oh this is modern day America, however, it seems very likely that the people who made it wanted those sort of comments.

The characters each have one defining characteristic to them and they are not much beyond that, all very one dimensional. Moreover, there are lots of things that happen that you just have to turn your brain off to and ignore as if you thought about it too much your brain would explode as they make no sense. The fact that the kid that wins the overall walk doesn’t sleep and doesn’t need to due to the fact that he has had a tough life and is an orphan is one such thing you will notice over the course of the film.

Overall, deep unneeded.

1.5/5

Pros.

A few funny moments, unintentional.

It is short

Cons.

It is dull

The characters are one dimensional

You have seen things like this before

The ending is predictable

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Downton Abbey, The Grand Finale: The Scandal Of A Divorcee Having A One Night Stand

Summary

We return for one last trip to Downton Abbey.

In many ways this film was unnecessary, a lot of it felt like filler, and it didn’t really need to be a thing. However, it was nice escapist entertainment, and allowed you to return to a simpler time for an hour and change.

It did meaningfully close out the series/film saga in such a way as to suggest it is in fact the end. Homage was paid to the earlier seasons of the show, and moments that fans would remember, there was a sense of change that permeated the film, and whilst no major characters died there was enough done to provide a sense of finality.

I would say that Mary, Michelle Dockery, has the most boring plotline, with her being scandalised for her divorce, even in high society people would not have been so precious about it at that time. This stretched incredulity a bit too much. Coupled with the fact that she then had a one night stand and was blackmailed for it, it all seems very American and over the top. That is not what Downton is.

The plotline about Mary taking over Downton and becoming the lady of the house was far more well done and in keeping with the series.

Overall, a solid if somewhat unnecessary third film.

3/5

Pros.

It is fun escapism

There are some cheer worthy moments

The ending hits the right note

Cons.

It is unnecessary

The divorce storyline

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below