Long Legs: Nicolas Cage Makes Some Dolls And Screams About His Mom And Dad

Summary

A hunt for a serial killer begins.

Many people were upset with this film expecting it to be something it wasn’t. The marketing suggested this film to be a crime thriller ala Silence Of The Lambs, however, the film was far more of a supernatural horror film and for me that worked.

Much like with Ti West, Osgood Perkin’s to me as a director is incredibly hit and miss, whilst he can make a scary film he can also make art house garbage, as such I went into this with low expectations. I must say in every way this film blew me away, not only was it coherent, but it was also incredibly scary, I may say that this film is the scariest of the year so far. This was especially true as the more supernatural elements began to develop in the plot, the idea of the dolls and the devil was used very effectively here. Another thing that’s praiseworthy is the fact that the film relied on an atmosphere rather than cheap jump scares, which diverges the film from a lot of recent horror releases.

Maika Monroe is quickly becoming a scream queen, if not THE scream queen of our age, she plays the lead here with equal amounts of charm and unease. She commands attention but can also be quite comedic at times, there is a scene in which a little girl invites her character to a birthday party and it is some of the best cringe comedy that you might ever see.

My two main gripes of this film are both fairly minor. Firstly, I don’t like how much of a willing participant the mum becomes, as the narrative of the film suggests she’s just doing it to keep her daughter alive, to me this shift in motivations doesn’t make sense. They could have explained this away by her becoming possessed or something but they don’t. Secondly, though I am a massive fan I think Nicolas Cage was miscast here, so his character looks scary sure, but Cage’s delivery and performance makes the character almost a joke at times and is distractingly bad. They have seemingly let Cage go full Cage and this film didn’t require or need that, if anything it hurts it.

Overall, one of the best horror films of the year so far

4/5

Pros.

It is scary

The mythology

Monroe

It is well paced and keeps a good atmosphere

Cons.

The mother’s character motivations

Cage is wrong for the part

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M3GAN: Chucky’s Competition?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A new evil doll is born, Chucky has competition.

I went into this film with high expectations, after hearing all the praise for the film and seeing al of the decorated reviews I was expecting this film to be good and honestly, it was just okay.

I think the strengths of the film are M3GAN herself, she is both sassy and scary in equal measure, and the fact that the film doesn’t take itself too seriously and that there is a good amount of tongue in cheek humour throughout the film that will likely make you laugh.

However, my issue with the film is that the tone never really feels quite right, it wants to be scary, but also wants to keep the jokes in, but then also doesn’t want to fully abandon the scares and go full comedy either. In my mind if the film had committed more to being silly and had gone even more over the top then it would have been better, we have enough spooky doll films something more in line with Bride Of, Seed Of Chucky would have played better in my mind.

Another thing that bothered me was that it all felt very played out, and by that I mean that this film did not surprise me in anyway everything that I thought was going to happen did and it happened when I thought it would. Maybe this stems from the fact that I watch a lot of horror films and for someone who watches less they might not find it so familiar, but for me it was an issue.

Overall, certainly watchable and with potential if they ramp up the satire and silliness for the next film then I could easily see a new horror franchise be born, but as it stands it feels too derivative.

3/5

Pros.

M3GAN herself is quite funny

I enjoyed the comedy for the most part

It was very watchable

Cons.

The humour doesn’t go far enough and there are tonal issues

It felt very familiar

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Chucky: Halloween II

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Continuing on from the end of last season Andy, played by Alex Vincent, seemingly perishes destroying the last of the Chucky dolls. However, a few months later the original group of teens from the first season start to find themselves under attack again.

I still do like this show, even if I think this opening episode is quite weak. I think Brad Dourif’s Chucky is still al lot of fun and the show can really master tension when it wants to. I enjoyed the Chucky scenes we got in this episode.

However, my issues with this season premiere is that the writing feels quite contrived. Andy is seemingly killed off even though it is super obvious that he will be coming back, and the kids all find themselves sent to a Catholic boarding school at the end of the episode, can you get anymore cliché. Furthermore, this idea of a school for troubled kids reminded me a lot of the military academy setting for Child’s Play 3 so it seems as though the series is just recycling ideas from the films.

In addition to that I thought this episode really went out of its way to sexualise Alyvia Alyn Lind’s Lexy, which is extra creepy when you realise that the actor is only 15. This is not just a one off incident either as there were scenes in the first season that again put her character in very revealing and sexualised scenes. I understand that the show wants to tackle teenage sexuality, but it could have at least had an older cast playing younger rather than having minors play out sex scenes, it feels very inappropriate.

Overall, the season will need to do a lot more to keep me around, also stop sexualising a 15 year old it’s weird.

Pros.

Dourif’s Chucky

It is watchable

It can still deliver the scares and the tension

Cons.

It is creepy towards a minor

It feels deeply cliched

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The Curse Of Robert: The Horrors Of The Netflix Algorithm

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

This is what happens when you trust a Netflix recommendation. A possessed doll film.

As the summary suggests Netflix thought I would like to watch this film so I put it on, and my my it was bad. I will give it credit for being exactly what I was expecting it to be, and also having some quirky B movie esque charm, but that is where my praise for this film ends.

An important point that I think should be noted up front is that I fell asleep whilst watching this film and then had to go back and finish it off, this was not at night dear reader oh no this was late afternoon, such is the film. To say it is boring and generic would be an understatement.

This film was clearly made to cash in on the recent trend of possessed doll films, see Annabelle and its various sequels, but somehow this film managed to screw up even that basic concept. What makes the Annabelle films scary is the demon that is attached to the doll that goes around and kills people, whereas here they forgo that and have the doll randomly come to life and kill people Chucky style but without any of Brad Dourif’s charm.

Overall, a forgettable possessed doll film.

Pros.

It is watchable

It is unintentionally funny at times

Cons.

It is boring

It is generic

It is nothing you haven’t seen before

It feels derivative

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Sabrina: Move Over Annabelle

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An Indonesian demon doll film.

I enjoyed the originality of the scares on display in this film, and that despite being a doll film which in and off itself is a very played out genre there is some originality here. Moreover, I also will commend this film for the lengths it goes to in terms of its physical effects, though at times you can tell it is very low budget when the demon woman, played by Asri Handayani, is featured you can tell the film is pulling out the stops. The look of the demon woman is constantly on point and well maintained.

However, where this film falls apart for me is that its tone is all over the place, sometimes it is scary and seems like a genuine horror film whereas other times it feels closer to a horror comedy as the campy elements start to play up. Furthermore, the film has awful pacing issues and has no business being on for almost two hours, what makes this especially bad is the fact that the film has several long drawn out flashback scenes that drag on and on.

Overall, though I appreciate the originality, the tone and the pacing issues really stop this film from being in any way above average.

Pros.

The originality

The make-up effects

The scares

Cons.

The pacing

The tone

The performances

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Chucky: Just Let Go

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Chucky, voiced by Brad Dourif, is finally exposed as Jake, played by Zachary Arthur, and his friends finally decide to put a stop to the evil doll.

It is a shame that the series didn’t go down the Chucky’s apprentice route it would have made things more interesting, instead we get the fairly standard all of the characters teaming up to stop the killer, with Jake staying firmly on the light side. However that is not to say this was a bad episode, in fact I actually quite enjoyed seeing Jake and Lexi, played by Alyvia Alyn Lind, team up, I thought it was an interesting way to take their characters and having them both be honest with each other was a masterstroke. I thought the scene in which Jake is saying how he wished her dead because she is a bad person and she is actively scared of him was powerful.

I also enjoyed the continued backstory of Chucky. I like how each episode is giving us more and more of his early years thereby expanding out the Child’s Play world and building on the character.

One thing that I didn’t like was Detective Evan’s, played by Rachelle Casseus, interrogation of Jake. She has no evidence, he is a minor and she tries to force him into confessing, yet we are still supposed to like and root for her character, as she is doing it with good intentions? No, I find her and her moral outrage to be quite infuriating, with her character often just getting in the way of the story.

Overall, a good episode if one that felt a little safe.

Pros.

The team up

The ending

Chucky’s backstory

The needle kill

Cons.

It felt too safe

The integration scene

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Chucky: I Like To Be Hugged

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Chucky, voiced by Brad Dourif, continues to push Jake, played by Zachary Arthur, down the path of murder.

I thought this episode was one of two halves. On the one hand you have the good half, which is to say everything to do with Chucky, his backstory continued his attempts to kill those in Jake’s life he doesn’t like and of course his attempts to have Jake become his apprentice. All of this is good and with regard to the backstory it helps to flesh out the Child’s Play world nicely,

Whereas on the other hand, you have all of the teen angst stuff. I understand the show wants to dive into teen issues such as bullying, sex and sexuality and that is not necessarily a bad thing, as Sex Education shows us it can be done and done well. However, the issue here is that all of the teen characters are such wet blankets that as soon as they come on screen you find yourself longing to be back with Chucky again. It was a noble aim to tackle these issues but maybe one executed poorly.

Overall, two thirds of this episode are really good sadly the teen stuff is just dragging it down.

Pros.

Chucky’s backstory

Jake’s further descent into become Chucky’s apprentice

The ending

Cons.

The teen angst stuff is boring

The teen characters are wet blankets

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Brahms The Boy 2: Are Haunted Doll Movies Dead?

Brahms The Boy 2 is a horror film directed by William Brent Bell; it is a sequel to the 2016 film The Boy. Revolving around a family that, after a home invasion, moves to the British countryside to try and regain a sense of normality. However, they move in a stone’s throw away from The Hillshire Estate, which has one special prosocline resident that quickly becomes obsessed with the new family.

Please let this ‘franchise’ end here, there was no need for this film and my god there is certainly no need or reason for a third film. This film spends its hour and a half runtime tearing apart and ruining everything interesting from the first film and replacing it with haunted doll clichés. The first film earned my praise when they revealed that no nothing paranormal was going on, instead it was a killer in the walls.

However, this is how the second film continues that reveal, the Braham’s in the wall is just never mentioned again, and the doll is revealed to be evil or possessed or something. So, they go from a smart twist to a wannbe Annabelle film; what a waste. Rather than be a sequel that fits with the first, this feels incredibly at odds from the beginning.

The acting is nothing special either, Katie Holmes fills the Lauren Cohen role from the first film and is hugely outperformed by Cohen. The only difference between Holmes’ character and Cohen’s is that Holmes is a mother that has to worry about her disturbed kid. You would think this extra character dimension would allow for a more emotive performance, but no Holmes’s expression doesn’t change once over the course of the film, other than to occasionally shout, clearly this was just a paycheck role for her.

The kid is annoying right from the beginning and doesn’t get better, however, as I have said before I am not going to call out a child star for being bad at acting, it is low hanging fruit.

The only good thing about this film is the performance by Ralph Ineson who plays the groundskeeper who is secretly under the control of Brahms. Ineson seems to be the only person in this film that cares about giving a good performance and you can tell he is trying; he deserves better than this.

Overall, this film wasn’t as terribly bad as I thought it was going to be, that is as much praise as I can afford it. It is lazy, the cast other than Ineson don’t care, and it ruins the first film entirely.

Pros.

It is not terrible.

Ralph Ineson.

Cons,

It is lazy.

Clearly no one cares.

It ruins the first film.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke