House Of The Long Shadows: Attempting Welsh Accents

Summary, a manor house in Wales sees some horrific goings on.

It was nice to see this love letter to Hammer, however it did waste the talents of the returning cast of legends. None of them were starring or given all that much to do.

The slasher aspect had appeal, as seeing Peter Cushing, Vincent Price and Christopher Lee together in a slasher film is a new concept for the three. However the ending of the film ruined that by having a screw the audience flavour.

The ending of the film had two twists firstly all the slasher antics were the actions of the lead’s publisher and then after that the whole story including the publisher twist was all in the lead’s book that he was writing. This removed all the stakes and made it lame.

Overall, it edges a positive score more because of the cast than anything else however, the ending really ruins it’s chances of getting any higher.

3/5

Pros.

The cast

The unique premise

It is well paced

Cons.

The ending

The twists

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Scarlet: Even The Afterlife Can Appreciate J Pop

A Princess from long ago has her quest for vengeance interrupted by a medic from the modem era.

This wasn’t a perfect film by any means there was clear tonal issues and a mismatch in some scenes where the film felt a bit confused, however, it was still far better than anything western animation has put out in years.

This is centrally a two fold issue, firstly Scarlet looks a hell of a lot better than things like Hoppers, the animation style looks sharp and vibrant, whereas Hoppers looks like A.I slop 3D animation, that looks the same as many other films.

Then secondly you have the themes this had themes of love, war and acceptance, it had widely universal themes that many people can connect to, whereas something like Hoppers has left wing messaging seeded into its soul.

Watching this film you get a little angry, not at it, at how good aspects of this film are such as the animation such as the story and themes and it makes you think just how generic and bad western animation has become.

Overall, a film that whilst tonally confused at times has a lot of heart and wonderful animation.

3.5/5

Pros.

The heart

The story

The animation

The pacing

Cons.

The tonal confusion

The bloodless violence

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Project Hail Mary: Grogu 2.0

A school teacher helps his government and then is drugged and forcibly sent on a suicide mission.

This was a flawed film, in that it could comfortably have been 2 hours, there was no need for it to be as long as it was and a hell of a lot of it was filler scenes.

Rocky is easily the heart of the film and all of the scenes with him make the film, including the emotional payoffs. One would say that Rocky upstages Ryan Gosling across the course of the film repeatedly, and Rocky does at times have that sort of Baby Yoga energy.

In terms of being a hard science fiction film, the Martian is a lot better as it has a tighter focus and is less meandering, Interstellar is better as well. However, there is some appeal in that aspect here, it simply isn’t better than some of the other films in the space.

Overall, a competent film but nothing that will knock your socks off. Rocky will be a fan favourite.

3/5

Pros.

Rocky

The ending

It has appeal as a hard/realistic science fiction film

Cons.

The pacing is bad

It has been done better before

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How To Make A Killing: The Most Generic Film Of 2026

Summary, a man decides to kill off his relatives to inherit some money.

Incredibly generic would be the best way to describe this, this fable of where chasing wealth gets you is one you have seen about 1000 times before and many times done better than here.

Almost every single character in this film is intensely dislikeable, if you’re supposed to root for Powell’s everyman that would be news to us. In many senses it reflects the worst parts of American culture where everyone is just obsessed with money, whether they have it or not it’s seemingly all anyone can ever think about.

It is the sort of film that shouldn’t have made it pass the idea stage, let alone taking up space that could instead be given to other films.

Overall, Margaret Qually deserves better than this.

1/5

Pros.

It’s short.

Cons

You have seen this before

It is dull

It is stale

The ending makes the whole thing pointless

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The Secret Agent: The Most Interesting Academic Ever

Summary, after becoming on a corrupt government minister’s hit list. A university professor must go into hiding.

The biggest compliment for this film is the tone, it could have been a lot bleaker than it was. Whilst it wasn’t happy go lucky, it did manage to balance the grit with a more optimistic tone of displaced people creating a community.

The tension across the course of the film about whether the lead will be caught or not, creates wonderful stakes that carry through the film, making you invested in the ending. Sadly they decide to just have him die off screen which is anti-climatic.

There is also some more absurd stuff that comes out of nowhere and contrasts with the broader tone of the film. This should have been removed from the film, the metaphorical intent is clear but is just feels far too out of the blue.

Overall, an incredibly strong and likable film.

4/5

Pros.

The pace

The tone bar one absurdist scene

The performances

The ending, bar the death.

Cons.T

The absurdist sequence

The death happening off screen

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The Testament Of Ann Lee: Shaking Your Way To The Lord

Summary, Ann Lee, Amanda Seyfried, believes herself to be the female reincarnation of the Messiah during the period of the Great Awakening.

This film will be divisive, it was an art film in the truest sense, it is pretentious and it likes symbolism. That will put people off. It is a musical about a very depressing subject matter, and has uncomfortable sexual moments throughout, this will put off people. Then there is the fact that it’s about the Shakers, a Christian sect, and other types of Christians might find some of the things in this film to be heretical, which will put people off. If you make it through all that you’ll find an interesting and original film.

Yes the accents were God awful, but the film tried to do something a bit different, and take what could have been a very heavy and depressing story and make it more engaging and compelling.

The music also oddly works.

Overall, this is a win for Ms Seyfried.

3.5/5

Pros.

It does something different

The music

It is an interesting story

The sheer art-cinemaness of it

Cons.

The pacing

There are a lot of things that can put you off the film

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The Bride: The Most Brutal Curb Stop Since American History X

Summary, a new take on the Bride of Frankenstein.

It seems no matter where you go people didn’t like this film, to some it is too feminist, to others the Bride is unlikeable etc. Regardless, this film was an enjoyable take on the character.

Jessie Buckley’s manic monologues were a bad choice for sure, but her character wasn’t unlikeable or too feminist as others say. She was a real person who had suffered greatly at the hands of the world and wanted someone to pay, she developed a real love for Frankenstein, Christian Bale, over the course of the film and this was quite affecting on screen.

Stylistically the film was all over the place, and tried to be an art film and also something more commercial, not realising you can’t be both. It was very apparent as you were watching, that it was made by an early career director, but everyone has to start somewhere and this was perfectly serviceable.

Overall, not as bad as you’ve heard, but surely not one to rush out to either.

2.5/5

Pros.

The style mostly works

The Bonnie and Clyde feel of it

The ending

Cons.

The odd monologues

The pacing was off

It felt totally confused at times

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Missing Child Video Tape: A Mountain of Madness

Summary, after his brother went missing many years ago at the summit of a mysterious mountain a Japanese man and his roommate go on a journey to try and find him.

As far as ghost stories go this was quite effective, there were a number of twists and turns wherein your expectations are subverted, for example there was a time when it appeared as though the lead had killed his brother. The ending needed further clarity however, as the ending implied a number of things but nothing really directly. This was likely done so you could imagine the ending yourself and have your own interpretation however, it would have been nicer if there could have been more of a structured answer.

It does atmospheric well, and the horror mainly comes from creepy moments, and the overall vibe rather than from jump scares. If that is what you’re looking for arguably this is not the film for you.

An effective J-Horror film let down somewhat by its ending.

3/5

Pros.

The atmosphere

The scares

The twists and turns

Cons.

The ending

The pacing

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Cold Storage: Being Named After A Biscuit

Summary, a couple of storage workers accidentally release a deadly alien organism.

In a post Stranger Things world, it is noticeable that Joe Keery is trying to stay in the genre space. This in many ways felt very similar to older genre stuff such as Hole or something of that nature wherein it isn’t quite YA but is softer horror.

Keery was a likeable enough lead and anchored the film but it was a shame the film didn’t give us more of Liam Nesson considering he was the big name on the poster.

The film isn’t scary so much as it is gross, and if that’s what you’re into then you’ll enjoy this film. It is enjoyable but not really as a horror film.

Overall, fun and not much more

3.5/5

Pros.

Keery

The little we get of Nesson

It’s a nice little adventure

Its well paced

Cons.

It doesn’t really work as a horror film

The leads have no chemistry

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Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die: A Bit Too Close For Comfort

Summary: A man comes back from the future to stop a merciless AI.

Whilst this may sound like a retread of Terminator, there is enough savvy and spot on commentary here to make this it’s own fresh hell. The comments about teens and the whole side plot about school shootings was incredibly timely and needed, it was surprising to see the film go there.

The ending which also takes a dark turn works well, as it keeps the idea going, and doesn’t give it an easy happy ending to wrap it up with. The fact remains that as the characters say AI is inevitable, the only thing that really can be done is to put up barriers to try and protect ourselves.

Overall, likely the second best film of the year.

4/5

Pros.

It’s funny

It’s timely

The cast work well together

The science fiction concept is great

Cons.

It has some rather bleak moments

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