Silent Night Deadly Night: Killing Nazi’s and Pedophiles

Santa’s gonna slay.

So for the most part I enjoyed this film and found it to be charming and over the top, I liked the slasher aspects but also how it was flipped by having the slasher being the hero of the story. The kills were suitably gory, if you’re a gore hound you’ll eat well here.

I thought that the romance between the lead and Ruby Modine was a lovely surprise, I thought it was believable and gave the film a nice centre to work around, the ending wherein Ruby’s character accepted the lead for who he was and believed his Santa curse is also a nice change of pace from running away and acting like the character is evil and pretending like all murder is the same. I thought that the ending wherein she took over the curse also set things up nicely for a sequel.

The only thing I would point to as being a draw back for the film is that at times it is a little depressing in how its styled and how the world looks, there is a gloom to it all and that can dampen the fun a bit.

Overall, a great way to reboot a slasher franchise.

4/5

Pros.

It is fun

The kills are good

The romance

The ending and future

Cons.

It is a bit depressing at times

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Final Destination 5: Death VS Corporate America

Summary

Death decides to attack corporate America.

I enjoyed that this film tried to tie itself into the previous films, even if the idea it is a prequel makes little to no sense. I also thought it was sweet to see some of the highlights from across the franchise in the films end credits.

I would say that the plot was a little thin on the ground here, much like with the fourth film, however, at least they brought back Tony Todd as William Bloodsworth for a meaty role.

The deaths were good particularly the massage parlour crushing, however, I can see why they retired the franchise for a while after this, the deaths have lost some of their creepiness and creativity, and it does just seem like they were going for gross out shock value.

My main issue with the film was that there was too much talking and melodrama, the film seemed to be more focused on this than Death getting its vengeance at times.

I would argue that this is better than the fourth and sixth films in the franchise but worse than the original trilogy.

Overall, a mixed bag of a film.

3/5

Pros.

The ending

The love for past films

The massage parlour death

Cons.

Too much melodrama

A thin plot

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The Strangers Chapter Two: Destroying The Myth Of The Franchise

Summary

The Strangers are back.

Did you want to know that the Strangers met at a Christian school? No, well maybe this film is not for you. So this film is incredibly intent on trying to tease out and explain the origins of the Strangers, the people behind the mask, and when it gives you that information it is the most generic thing you could imagine.

There was absolutely no need to make this a trilogy, really the Strangers as a brand should have been left alone after Prey At Night, we didn’t need this. If anything this effort is just ruining the brand by overly explaining everything.

Then there is the pacing as you can imagine, remember, trilogy, this film is slow to the point of being off putting. It is basically just one long chase sequence of the Strangers going after the one who got away, the film starts and ends like that, there is no final showdown in the film it is clearly an in-between effort.

Really the only cool thing here is when the Strangers set a blood hound boar onto the lead in an effort to track her down and presumably kill her. That was unexpected and fun, but that was it.

Overall, this was a bad idea.

0.5/5

Pros.

The boar scene

Cons.

The plot

The reveal of who the Strangers are

The pacing

The scares

The filler new characters

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Final Destination Four: Cheap Tricks To Appease James Cameron

Summary

Death is at the races.

After the height of the franchise in the previous film we now get to the low point. This is easily the worst of the films.

I think for many people this was the worst of the franchise and shed a lot of fans. Certainly this one doesn’t try and do new things from a plot point of view and instead just adds in some cheap visual gimmicks, for a now dead format.

Whilst there were a few good deaths, such as the red neck in flames death, I thought for the most part they lacked some of the creativity of the previous films and felt a bit like a franchise film going through the motions. Moreover, whilst it was nice seeing the credits reference previous deaths from the other films, this would only go on to show how disappointing the deaths we get here are. Particularly the final death when the survivors just get ploughed into by a truck.

The survivors are also a lot more intensely dislikable herein, with the couples best friends being the worst of the lot, one is a brat and the other a creep and a cheat. I know we need to have side characters to not like so we can enjoy their gory deaths, but this felt like the film was taking things that bit too far in making them the worst.

Overall, this hurt the franchise in a number of key ways.

2.5/5

Pros.

Some good deaths

It is watchable

Some nostalgia plays land

Cons.

The characters are awful

It is gimmicky

The ending is terrible

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Final Destination Three: Oddly Prescient

Summary

Death is hanging out at a theme park this time around.

So this is my personal favourite Final Destination Film, whilst the ties to the previous films are less, and Bloodsworth doesn’t come back. I think Wren, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, is an incredibly relatable protagonist, and has a similar likeability to the Alex and Clear.

I also enjoyed the ‘There is someone walking behind you’ song and think that it should have become a franchise calling card ala Jeepers Creepers to me this song is more memorable and impactful than the log truck from the second film.

I also found the inciting incident, the rollercoaster going off the tracks to be particularly effecting, more so than the plane or pile up of the previous films. It put me off going on rollercoasters for a while when I first saw this film over a decade ago now.

The main negative I will say about this film is that it is more pervy, and whilst there is nothing wrong with a bit of nudity, the sun bed death felt quite over the top with its amount of nudity, and it feels very teenage boy aiming.

Overall, the best of the series but not without issues

4.5/5

Pros.

Wren

There is someone walking behind you

The inciting incident

The deaths

It tries to do new things

Cons.

It is needlessly pervy

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Final Destination Two: Ali Larter The Best Scream Queen

Summary

Death is back at it again.

So I have been rewatching the Final Destination films for Halloween and it has given me a new appreciation for the series broadly.

This film is definitely benefited by bringing back Ali Larter’s Clear and Tony Todd’s Bloodsworth and feeling very connected to the first film. As the series progresses that connection to the other films is a vital part of the series that helps it to feel like a bigger multiconnected thing. Personally I would have liked to have seen more people survive these films and then come back, as Clear does here, to tell the new lot how it works. I wanted a death fighting avengers esque team.

The deaths are broadly better than the first, the fence death and the glass death are both strong. I would say that Clear’s death, whilst somewhat heroic was a bit of a letdown, considering she is the one who got away, I would have kept her around, but if you had to kill her off she should have got one of the more impressive death scenes of the picture.

I note that this franchise introduced the log truck which a lot of people have latched onto, but for me it was not as memorable as some of the other moments from the series.

Overall, easily better than the first film, but not the best of the series.

4/5

Pros.

Bringing back old characters

The connections to the first film

The new deaths particularly the glass and fence deaths

The ending and the arm

Cons

Clear deserved better.

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Screamboat: Mickey Mouse As He Really Is

Summary

Mickey Mouse behaves as we all know he does behind closed doors.

Honestly, I can sum up whether you will like this film in one sentence did you like Terrrifer and do you find Art’s antics funny or not? If the answer is yes to both then you will like this film. It tells the tale of a group of people taking the Staten Island Ferry who run into Mickey Mouse and who then picks them off.

This is one of those public domain films, but I would say it has more charm than something like a Blood and Honey, there is more of a sense of whimsy here. I also thought all of the references and inferences to Walt Disney were quite clever.

The kills were good but weren’t to the same level of gore as in Terrifer, they again were played more for laughs than for chills, and it delivered in much the same way as the campier later entries in most slasher franchises of old did.

The ending that has the lead dress up like Minnie Mouse to try and seduce Mickey was something I never thought I would see in my life but here we are.

Overall, if you are a fan of Terrifer and of gore than you will likely like this.

3/5

Pros.

The kills

The backstory and the references to Walt

It is funny

Cons.

It can be repetitive

The acting is truly awful

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I Know What You Did Last Summer: Bashing Men Is Bad For Your Box Office Who Knew

Summary

Screams little brother gets another go at things.

This film was a hugely mixed bag for me.

On the one hand there was some cheer worthy moments here and some funny scenes but on the other there was a deliberate attempt to bait the audience and a twist that makes little sense.

To the good first, it was nice seeing Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr back, and it was nice that this film had so much reverence for the original films. I also liked Chase Sui Wonders as the lead character and thought her friendship with Danica, Madelyn Cline, was the heart and soul of the film. The scene where it appeared as if Danica was dead was genuinely upsetting. However, this fondness was undone with the line from Wonder’s character’ and to think this all could have been avoided if men just went to therapy’. Now the killer of the film was Stevie, Sarah Pidgeon, a woman who after the gang killed her boyfriend decided to seek out Ray’s help. The reason why this final line is so infuriating is the killer is female, Rey helped but he did not set her on that path she did it all of her own accord, but rather than say that it has to be an open attempt to bash men. Why is all I can say to this? What did they think this line was going to achieve, whilst horror has a big female viewership the majority are still men.

There are also a lot of modern dayisms in the film, the main character is BI, as Hollywood thinks everyone is pan, there is needless teen drama, and there is a hell of a lot of therapy speak. In fact Danica’s soon to be husband is killed whilst she is in the bath listening to a motivational podcast, which adds a whole new spin to that line about men going to therapy, and feels like after Wonder’s character said it maybe Danica should have challenged it, as her walking that road meant she could not save her husband to be.

A hypocritical message to the end.

Overall, I was enjoying the film to some extent until that line right at the end of the film, it felt so needless and antagonistic that it really did make me leave the film with a bad taste in my mouth.

2.5/5

Pros.

Reverence for the original films

You do care about the characters

Bringing back the original stars

Cons.

The modern dayisms

The line about men needing therapy

How they bring back Freddie Prinze Jr only to have him be one of the villains

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Heart Eyes: Death The Ultimate Cock Block

Summary

A serial killer is killing couples, can you survive?

I enjoyed this film quite a bit, if reminded me in a number of ways of the Scream films and also the Scary Movies, that is not to say that it was a comedy film it was still a slasher but there were comedic elements within that. In many ways it wanted to hit on both fronts in the way something like Thanksgiving also wanted to do, but where that film couldn’t really land its comedy this one does.

I think a hell of a lot of what makes this film work is Olivia Holt, she is such a charming and likeable lead that you cannot help but root for her, you also really believe the love story as well, it feels very warm but also modern and not cliché. When I saw Christopher Landon’s name in the credits I knew why I liked it so much as Ally has a lot of similarities to Tree from Happy Death Day on of my all time favourite slasher films.

Overall, a surprisingly fun slasher film.

3.5/5

Pros.

Holt

The humour

The romance

The kills

Cons.

The reveal is obvious

Pacing issues

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Terrifier 3: Blowing Up Kid’s Christmas

Summary

Art the Clown, David Howard Thorton, is back and this time he is dressed like Santa Claus.

So if you want to write this film off as just another gore fest then I would say to you what did you expect? Did you watch the last two film? Personally, I think that is just people trying to be trendy by being contrarian to a popular new release.

I found this to be an improvement over the second film, but I would say that some of its issues were still there. Namely that the film has pacing problems and has Art get away in the end, this is problematic as it just feels like we are then going to have to wait for yet another sequel which is going to be yet another showdown between Art and his nemesis, Lauren LaVera. I think at this point there battle should already be over and Art should have moved onto a new group of victims ala Freddy or Jason.

I did enjoy how over the top this film took the gore, I thought the mall scene with the bomb was pretty funny, as was freezing Santa Clause, I liked the black mirror it held up to the holiday of Christmas and took every opportunity to make it as nasty as possible.

Overall, if you are a fan of the franchise you will like this one.

3.5/5

The black mirror

The gore

The comedy

Some great kills

Cons.

It is badly paced

Art got away

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