The Seventh Day: The Devil In The White Collar

The Seventh Day

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

A lot of possession or exorcism films play a lot of lip service to the Church, as such it is nice to see a film that takes a different approach and asks the question what if the monster/demon was the priest? It is an interesting idea as yes, if a demon was possessing people why wouldn’t they possess priests, figures that are trusted by thousands of people. It reminded me a lot of Robert Kirkman’s terrific comic Outcast.

That said, despite the twist being interesting it is not executed well. It is clear which of the priests is evil almost from the get-go, and the film does not subvert your expectations in anyway, the one you think is bad is.

I thought the ending was a little too sequel baity for my taste, and I don’t think this film is really good enough to warrant sequels. The horror was very iffy, some moments were strong and had real promise and other moments were painfully by the numbers and played out.

Guy Pearce brings a lot to the film, but even he cant save this film from mediocrity.

Overall, a few good moments but for the most part very average.

Pros.

Guy Pearce

A few good scares

Cons.

It is painfully obvious

The ending teases an unearned sequel

More than a few bad/ generic scares

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Held: After The First Hour Turn It Off, That Way You Might See A Good Film

Held

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

If I was just reviewing the first hour of this film I would give it higher. The first hour of this film poses an interesting concept, a married couple is forced to do the bidding of an omnipotent stranger- with the goal of purifying their marriage. However, after the hour mark this film falls apart.

With the reveal of what is really going on in the third act, the film ceases to be anything good or original and instead becomes a very blatant and obvious attempt to rip off The Stepford Wives into an inferior product. Moreover, you are annoyed with your self for liking the first hour of this film and feel almost tricked for not having seen the similarities before.

I think the subject matter and ideas that this film discusses are very important, however, the way the film conveys these ideas is in the least subtle and most tasteless way you possibly can. There is a heavy Me Too aspect to this film that translates into their being a constant rape threat throughout that I found uncomfortable, and thought could have been handled a lot better.

Overall, this film is lazy and in your face- a very off putting combination.

Pros.

The premise is interesting

The acting is serviceable

Cons.

The constant rape threat

The reveal and the fact that this film is a discount Stepford Wives

It is annoying at times

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Behind Her Eyes: The TED Talk On How Not To Do A Twist

Written by Luke Barnes

Behind Her Eyes is a supernatural thriller series directed by Stephen Lightfoot based on the novel of the same name by Sarah Pinborough. The plot revolves around a love triangle at a local doctor’s clinic that becomes more dangerous due to the fact that one of the trio can astral project.

This was billed as Netflix’s most recent must binge series and I did, and honestly I have to say it is kind of a mess. The first few episodes start the show off on a strong note, there is a keen sense of place and characters and the hint of something more at play- a supernatural element. However, as the series rushes to its end, things quickly start to come apart.

The last two episodes of the series feature a number of twists that I believe ruin the show. The generic erotic thriller themes of the first few episodes are made more interesting by the tease of something more supernatural going on, and boy do you get that in the last two episodes. Sadly, when we do start dealing with the ideas around astral projection it is boring, poorly thought out and leaves more questions than answers.

Overall, the series does have moments of promise, but it throws it all away at the end.

Pros.

Some early intrigue and the tease of something more

Cons.

It quickly becomes generic

The twist is not very good

The astral projection stuff is riddled with issues

It derails itself

1/5

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Dawn Of The Beast: People Should Know By Now That Nothing Good Ever Happens In The Woods.

Written by Luke Barnes

Dawn Of The Beast is a horror film directed by Bruce Wemple. The plot sees a group of graduate students head out into the woods in search of Bigfoot, however, what they find is far more terrifying.

There is only one truly good horror film about Bigfoot and that is the Lost Coast Tapes, the rest of them are frequently terrible. I am pleased to say that though this film has issues, this falls into the category of good Bigfoot horror, and does provide a nice entry into the subgenre.

I think the creature design on both Bigfoot and the Wendigo is very well done, and though we only see brief amounts of them over the course of the film they do leave an impression and look suitably scary or perhaps monstrous.

In terms of scares, the film isn’t scary, it has a few tense sequences and attempts a few jump scares but to limited success.

The issues with this film are all structural and fundamental. The pacing in this film is way off and what is a relatively short film ends up feeling far longer to watch then it actually is- developing a bloat. Moreover, the acting from the human characters is incredibly weak: yes I understand that most wont be watching this to see how layered and well written the human characters are, rather instead to watch monster carnage, but it did impact on my viewing experience.

Overall, a good Bigfoot horror film that is brought down by several glaring issues.

Pros.

Using its monster well

The creature design

A few tense sequences

Cons.

The pacing

The acting

3.5/5

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The Voices: Family Trouble

Written by Luke Barnes

The Voices is a horror thriller film directed by Wesley Alley and Bradley Fowler. The plot sees a young woman escape to a family member’s remote home where she must deal with her own and her sisters worsening mental health.

I found this film scary in that you never quite know what is going on in someone else’s head or what they are going through. Mental health issues can and often do affect us all at some point in our lives which makes the horror of this film have a personal feel to it.

I think the scares of the film are quite well done, yes there are quite a few jump scares which I found off putting, but there is also a strong horror atmosphere to the film that greatly enhances the ultimate impact of the film and is able to make you feel unsettled after the credits roll.

The appearance from horror icon Lin Shaye is greatly appreciated, she adds a lot of credibility to the film and sells the scenes she is in.

My one negative of this film would be that it feels almost like a stigmatisation of people with mental health conditions, the characterisation of the sister and how she is put across almost feels like a demonisation of those suffering with mental health, which is not on. Of course, this could be me reading into something that isn’t there and be how I took it- it may not be deliberate.

Overall, a few good scares in a passable horror film.

Pros.

The atmosphere

Lin Shaye

A relatable horror

Cons.

It approach and depiction of those suffering with mental health

Jump scares

Quite uninspired

2.5/5

Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Takes The Portal Gun

Written by Luke Barnes

Friday The 13^th Part 6 is a slasher horror film directed by Tom McLoughlin. The plot sees Tommy Jarvis (Thom Matthews), be proven right to fear the return of Jason Voorhees (C.J Graham and Dan Bradley), as he inadvertently ends up resurrecting Jason after his death at the end of Part 4.

This is a lot of dumb fun, is it as good as Part 2 and 4? No, no it isn’t. However, unlike a lot of those other films this film seems to have an almost self-aware air to it, and it seems to revel in knowing how ridiculous its premise is, though without making the film overly silly.

In that vein, it is in this film we see Jason start to develop his superhuman abilities, putting him power wise in the same ball park as a few of the other major slashers. To me these powers don’t ruin the tension of the film, but I can understand how they would for some. Jason teleporting around the area, though that is never confirmed, does make for some unbelievable moments though again this doesn’t bother me as I was not taking the film seriously to begin with.

Finally, I just want to touch briefly on the end credits song. As the credits for this film roll we are treated to the song The Man Behind The Mask by Alice Cooper, and it might be one of the best film tie in songs I have ever heard. For fear of this becoming a music review, let me just say that since I watched this film I have been listening to that song on a near constant loop.

Overall, more solid Jason action, the supernatural elements do derail things somewhat, however, if you were not taking it seriously to begin with then it doesn’t hugely effect things.

Pros.

The end credits song

The dumb fun

Still very watchable

Cons.

The supernatural elements derail it somewhat

Tommy Jarvis has a weak ending

3/5

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Friday The 13th Part 5: Will Summers Ever Be Safe Again?

Written by Luke Barnes

Friday The 13^th part 5 is a slasher horror film directed by Danny Steinmann. The plot continues the saga of Tommy Jarvis (John Shepard, now playing an older Tommy), who has been left scarred after the brutal end of Jason (Tom Morga), in the previous film and now lives in fear of the killer’s return from beyond the grave.

I will applaud this film for what it was trying to do, it was trying to exist without Jason; an errand that was always fated to fail as the series lives because of Jason, but that is also bold and interesting. I also thought the decision to focus on the after effects of a final showdown with Jason on Tommy was inspired.

However, ultimately I think this film is disappointing. Mainly because it squanders the chance for where this series could have gone without being reliant on Jason, by introducing a newer and blander version of basically the same character who has nothing noteworthy about him at all.

Moreover, other than Tommy, who benefited from having a previous, good, film to set him up, the rest of the cast of slasher fodder were all very forgettable as were the kills.

Overall, what began as a project of promise ended up being very generic.

Pros.

The mental health focus

The gutsy decision to try and move the series beyond Jason

Tommy Jarvis as a character

Cons.

It is dull

It is more than a little repetitive

It squanders its promise

2.5/5

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Friday The 13th Part 4: A Bald Child Proves To Be The Downfall Of The Hockey-Masked Killer

Written by Luke Barnes

Friday The 13^th The Final Chapter is a horror slasher film directed by Joseph Zito. Originally billed as the last entry in the Friday The 13^th series, this film sees Jason (Ted White), finally die.

This along with Part 2, which in my mind are tied, are the best entries into the Friday the 13^th series (of the first 5, as I haven’t seen past that yet). However, both films fall just short of glory with one thing disrupting each. In this film’s case it is the ending tease of Tommy Jarvis (Corey Feldman), becoming the new Jason. I did not like this tease and I thought it spoilt the film somewhat, I would have preferred if the film had been left open ended, with the effects of the brutal killing on Tommy’s psyche being left up to our interpretation. Even if they do end up going into it in detail in the next film.

I think this film has some of the best teens in the series with Trish (Kimberly Beck), Rob (E. Erich Anderson) and Jimmy (Crispen Glover), all being standouts. Of course Feldman is very serviceable as the lead and is fine as far as child actors go. I would have preferred for Rob to get a wider focus as his storyline, of coming to kill Jason after he attacked his sister years prior would have been very interesting to explore- sadly we didn’t get that. However, the small amount of time we get with Rob and his plotline is enjoyable.

I think the final showdown and what would have been the death of Jason Voorhees, if he wasn’t brought back 2 films later, feels satisfying and well-paced. Much like a lot of the series kills, the death of Jason is suitably bloody and over the top, reveling in the deranged spectacle.

Overall, a nice ending for the series, sadly the final few minutes taint the film somewhat but can be ignored.

Pros.

The showdown

The ‘death’ of Jason

The teens are likeable and have personality

Rob and his storyline

Cons.

Teasing Tommy as the next Jason

4.5/5

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Case 39: The Most Upfront and Blatant Twist In All Of Cinema History

Written by Luke Barnes

Case 39 is a horror film directed by Christian Alvart. The plot sees dedicated care worker Emily Jenkins (Renee Zellweger), save a young girl from a brutal death at the hands of her parents. However, one thing leads to another and the rescued Lilith (Jodelle Ferland), begins living with Emily and Emily soon realises that there is something off with her.

Spoiler warning for one of the most obvious twists in cinema history.

Ok last chance.

Lilith, as the incredibly on the nose name would suggest is in fact a demon. Yes, to make it even more obvious she is a succubus demon- they are really hitting you in the face with it. She can make those who go against her see horrible visions and meet grisly ends, it is all fairly generic and nothing that you haven’t seen better before.

This film felt to me like the producers and creatives behind this film had watched Orphan and seen the great twist in that film and been like ‘let’s make something similar but dumber’.

The film has quite an all star cast as well, landing Zellweger at the waning peak of her Bridget Jones fame, Bradley Cooper and Ian McShane and manages to waste all of them. The acting in this film is the usual collection of horror movie cliches with little to elevate it beyond mediocrity.

Overall, one of the worst and most obvious twists I have ever seen in a film, and yes to a degree I applaud the film for being so blatant and up front about it, but at the same time it is still an incredibly weak film.

Pros.

Some dumb fun to be had

Ian McShane is trying his best

Cons.

The cast excluding McShane either don’t care or are being sorely underused

The twist

The ending

They repeat plot elements over and over again

2/5

Friday The 13th Part 3: Jason’s Gap Year

Written by Luke Barnes

Friday The 13^th Part 3 is a horror film directed by Steve Miner. The events of the film take place directly after Part 2 and sees a defeated and hurt Jason (Richard Brooker), taking a moment to heal up before getting back out their to slaughter more camp councillors.

Of the film’s I’ve seen so far on my rewatch of the series this is definitely the worst so far. That is mainly because this film feels like filler, it is the middle film between Jason being hurt and then being ‘killed’ in Part 4. In terms of moving the franchise forward, this film just feels like more of the same.

Honestly when thinking about this film to write my review, it just blends in with the other films and all the moments I think ‘oh wait that was pretty cool’ were in fact from other entries in the series and not this film- literally nothing interesting happens here.

The teens are generic, and so are the kills. The original idea to have Amy Steel come back as a scarred Ginny Fields would have worked so much better for this film, sadly Steel didn’t want to come back, so they just made the film generic instead.

Overall, there is not a lot to say about this film it is definitely a low point in the series and is also deeply generic maybe skip over this one.

Pros.

It is still mindless fun to watch

Cons.

It is bland

It is forgettable

The new teens are painfully one note

Jason’s story is not furthered in any meaningful way

1/5