The Mean One: Like The Grinch But Worse

Summary

The Grinch, David Howard Thronton, goes bad and goes on a killing spree.

Basically if you have seen the Winnie The Poo slasher this is the same thing yet now with a Christmas character instead, I don’t think the Grinch is yet in the public domain so they call him The Mean One here instead.

In many ways this feels like a student film, and believe me that is harsh. None of it is particularly good, it is made on the cheap, near always dark even in places with lights on, the acting won’t be winning any awards any time soon and the film takes itself far too seriously. This film needs to be more like Nightmare On Elm Street and by that I mean it needs to have fun and embrace the ridiculousness rather than just being gritty.

I will give praise to Thronton he does bring the physicality as he did with Art, he is a good choice to play the titular Mean One, but sadly he isn’t given much of any note or interest to do, still we do get a few good gruesome kills for all the gore hounds out there.

Overall, not a new horror Christmas classic and more fodder for the horror twist of a beloved family film school of schlock

1/5

Pros.

A few good kills

Cons.

It is dumb

The characters aren’t likeable

It doesn’t have fun with it

It is too dark to see anything most of the time

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Demon Slayer: Swordsmith Village Arc

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Demon Slayer gang head for the Swordsmith Village to rest and repair following the battle in the Entertainment District.

I think that in some ways this is a step up from the Entertainment District Arc and in other ways a step back or a continuation. I liked the story more here I thought it had a lot of good moments such as Nezuko being able to move in the sun, and the introduction of the love Hashira Mitsuri Kanroji who is a scene stealer. Moreover, I thought the threat of the demons themselves were felt more accurately here as the scale of their attack felt larger, in the last arc it was an entire district sure, but here it is the whole village doing battle against the demon attacks which makes the scope feel more epic.

However, I didn’t like that again their was more filler, you could argue that what I call filler is actually backstory for the characters and what not, but I would say a lot of it is largely needless and doesn’t inform much of how we see the characters going forward. It just feels like they don’t want to get on with the main storyline quick enough so they have to pad it out in order to meet the episode count. I also thought the other new Hashira was quite dull and the arc spent a lot of time trying to give him more of a personality but even then you still didn’t like him, one could argue that it is a poor story telling decision to centre so much of your season around an aloof character and expect audiences to them like them or not want to skip through it.

Overall, though it had some cheer worthy moments this is another step backwards and if the filler issue doesn’t get addressed one could foresee that the next arc will be an even further slip in quality.

3/5

Pros.

Some cheer worthy moments

The scale of the final battle

The love Hashira

Cons.

The other Hashira

Far too much filler

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Demon Slayer: Entertainment District Arc

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Demon Slayer gang head for the big city.

I preferred the more individual style of the first batch of episodes wherein they would be less serialised and more loosely connected, like some episodes would carry over but for the most part it felt more like they were going on individual adventures. Anyway, I liked this batch of episodes on the whole, I thought that the new Hashira and his wives were fun and worthwhile additions to the cast, I hope they come back again the future.

I think my major gripe with this arc is that it is a very slow start, the build up to the show down with the siblings takes far too long, there are multiple episodes that almost drag by as though they are killing time, filler I know. In terms of pushing things forward, I think this arc does a lot of good character work and improvements on the main cast as characters in a number of ways. I will say here that making Nezuko into a woman in demon form and giving her a rather low cut top and what not feels a little icky when it is clear that she is clearly a little girl at other points in the show, but maybe there is something cultural I am missing there.

Overall, a little slow in parts but for the most part another fun arc with a lot of entertaining moments.

4/5

Pros.

It advances the characters

The new Hashira and his wives are interesting and good new additions to the cast

The fights are epic

It pushes the story forward in a meaningful way

Cons.

It is a slow start

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Five Nights At Freddy’s: Possibly The Worst Video Game Movie Ever Made

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An out of work man, Josh Hutcherson, takes a job at a Pizzeria that is full of dead children residing in robots.

I will open this by saying that though I am aware of the game franchise this is based on I have never played one of the games.

I thought this may have been the most disappointing and misguided film of 2023. My central thesis question would be who was this made for? I would guess the hardcore fans and that is it as I entered this film as a normie and didn’t understand most of what was going on. That shows a bad job on the writing front as if you are required to have a dedicated knowledge of a game series to be able to follow the plot of a film then maybe it should have come out on a fan site rather than at the cinema, at least then people like me wouldn’t have wandered into something that clearly wasn’t for us.

Additionally, the tone of this film is also completely off. So, I thought this was a horror film, the games are horror games are they not? Well clearly no one told whoever wrote this film that because for all the scenes you get of the robots ripping people apart it is entirely undone by a film breaking sequence in which they all sit down and have a tea party with a little girl and its all happy and played almost for laughs. Again I understand that their was a hostile undertone to this scene but the music and the dialogue shifted the scene and made it seem like I had entered a screening of Night At The Museum.

The acting is okay, I had forgotten the lead existed in a post Hunger Games age I thought maybe he had retired, he was warm enough and I believed his bond with his sister. Elizabeth Lial faired better and was quite easy to like and root for, it was clear that she was going to be involved in it from the jump but I like that they didn’t make her evil in the end and have kept her alive for the sequel. I think by far and away Matthew Lillard steals the show, I wouldn’t have guess the twist reveal with him and I think he played both ordinary and evil with great relish.

Overall, the actors do their bests but this film is only for the fans and if that isn’t you don’t bother.

0.5/5

Pros.

The actors across the board

Cons.

The tone

The inaccessibility of it

The weird dream stuff

The needless family drama

It Lives Inside: Roots Of The Past Follow And Consume

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Samhinda, Megan Suri, is punished for shunning the ways of her parents.

I was excited for this film, frankly I am quite bored of the bevy of overtly Christian horror films and I thought that a film that relies upon a different sets of religious and cultural practices could be quite fresh and really say something new in the scene. Sadly Blumhouse made this and not someone better.

I think the demon is the most interesting part of the film, the idea of it keeping its victims alive and torturing them is novel when viewed through the eyes of the traditional possession story. I also thought the ending wherein Samhinda allows the demon to possess her but rather than this be bad as in say The Exorcist she instead traps it and controls it inside of her was interesting and I wish they had done more with it. If I were to recut this film I would add ten minutes onto the end of it so we could see more about how Samhinda and the trapped demon interact, but the film has no time for that.

Instead the film wastes its time with a YA love story because of course it does, this is a hallmark of Blumhouse fare especially when it features teen characters it has to spend about a quarter of its runtime away from the main action following around some doe eyed kids until one of them dies. Boring, stop it. I think the relationship between Samhinda and her mum, Neeru Bajwa, is way more compelling but it doesn’t get anywhere near the same screen time bar a few scenes at the end. I think Bajwa’s character was done an injustice as there was a lot to explore there: she didn’t want to come to the US, she wasn’t adjusting well, this film could have tried to dig into those feelings a bit more and had something of substance to say but no we need another teenage romance subplot.

Overall, there are good bones here and it could have been fresh, new and welcome but it falls into the same holes as a lot of Blumhouse more teen orientated fare and as such is lesser.

2/5

The mum daughter relationship

The demon and the lore

Cons.

The romance subplot

It wastes a lot of the first act

The mother’s character outside of her listening and advising her daughter is largely overlooked

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Marionette: Are You Real?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A therapist, Thekla Reuten, begins taking sessions with a boy, Elijah Wolf, that can seemingly see the future, however, as their time together grows stranger it becomes clear that something far more grand is going on.

This is one of those films that has a twist that you will never guess, now whether that is down to just how outrageously out of left field it is, or because it is well done will be a matter for you to debate after watching it, personally I lean more into the former than the latter.

I will say that the scares regarding the boy and just what is going on are quite well done, and it was nice to see a relatively recent film not have to rely upon jump scares but instead use atmosphere, the bleakness of the remote Scottish village and the menacing weather really add to the whole aura of the film. I think my issue with jump scares is just how obviously they often are and how you can see them coming from a mile away if you know the signs to look for.

Overall, a good thriller with a twist that is either genius or ridiculous it is hard to tell.

3/5

Pros.

The tension and scares

The atmosphere and how the environment informed the film

The ending

Cons.

The ending

The child acting isn’t good

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Sax X: Jigsaw Or Jesus?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Jigsaw, Tobin Bell, heads south of the border.

I’ll admit I liked seeing Jigsaw back in a big way. I think Bell’s character is just so compelling that he makes the films a damn sight better just by being in them. I think the franchise really did shoot itself in the foot by getting rid of him from the timeline so early, though there is promise in the apprentices. Personally, I thought Spiral didn’t work as well without either a proper apprentice or Jigsaw in it.

I thought the story here was a little thin, they really had to pad out the opening of the film just to kill time because they knew they didn’t have enough material. Once the trick is revealed and the deaths start then things pick up and become far more interesting. It is in this frame we come to know Cecilia Peterson, Synnøve Macody Lund, who comes to be somewhat of an antithesis for Jigsaw himself. She too has a murderous rage but she doesn’t believe in helping people to get better and as such she becomes the final victim of Jigsaw’s game, only to escape. It is in this new character that I think the series has new life, Cecilia is easily the most interesting new character coming out of this film and I think to not have her be a big part in at least the next film would be a massive mistake, she could hunt John aka Jigsaw down with a rag tag group of survivors from early games that we haven’t seen or met yet, probably ending up in a champion of champions sort of contest in one of Jigsaw’s warehouses.

I thought Amanda, Shawnee Smith, was fine here but I would have liked to have seen more from her, I think her character keeps getting undercut by the franchise at large, though I must confess that I was hoping some of the other apprentices might have shown up at least at the end.

Overall, it’s another fine instalment made better by Cecilia but also one you could easily miss.

3/5

Pros.

Cecila

The return of Jigsaw

The traps

Cons.

The opening is slow

It does nothing special

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The Exorcist Believer: Perhapes The Worst Legacy Sequel Ever Made

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Blumhouse doesn’t have enough original ideas so needs to ruin a horror classic.

I liked Halloween Ends, that was an incredibly controversial statement once upon a time, but I absolutely hated Halloween Kills and you best believe me that this is far more of the latter than the former.

I think that David Gordon Green is a hack horror director, he can’t seem to come up with anything new or interesting to say so instead says: ‘what has been in the news’ and forces that in in some contrived way. This is no different.

There was potential for this film to be like the recent Scream films in bringing back the original actors, those who are still alive, and mix in some new faces to try and shake things up. However, here they bring back the mother from the original film, Ellen Burstyn, for exposition and to be like see remember her, they give her nothing to do she isn’t there for the actual Exorcism and she has one line that ruins both this film and the original, she says she was not allowed in the room when Regan, Linda Blair, was being exorcised. This line almost made me get up and leave, it is the most lazy trash I have ever seen so in a contrived effort to be like we are cool and progressive we hate the patriarchy, despite being a group of male writers, they force this in. In the first film Karris, Jason Alexander, literally dies to save her daughter you would think she would be a bit more grateful for that, but no a dumb men bad comment. Again the lack of diversity in the writing pool makes these comment seem almost like they are trying to cover themselves.

Finally, the actual exorcism scene itself, because the standard stuff with the priests probably isn’t PC anymore, they have multiple different faiths all working together, is the message well enough down your throat yet? Personally, I wouldn’t have minded this approach if they did something with it, I agree that the standard priest or demonologist cleansing the unclean spirits out of the girl is a little done to death, but here again it just feels like they are ticking a box, it feels like diversity for the sake of it rather than for a valid reason which is never good.

Overall, this film made me angry, it made me dislike Blumhouse, David Gordon Green, and just the state of modern Hollywood where reaffirming a certain political viewpoint is more important than actually making a good film. Hopefully, now that Gordon Green has left they can actually get in a talented writer to do something better than this. A good example of a possession series that has an interesting an evolving story throughout a trilogy is the Hell House LLC films so check those out and give this a miss.

1/5

Pros.

A good twist ending

Cons.

It brings characters back for the sake of cheap nostalgia

It is lazy

It cares more about its message then actually being good

It ruins the original

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The Nun II: A Superhero Showdown

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Sister Irene, played by Taissa Farmiga, is back and now has super powers.

I enjoyed this a lot, but I have to say if you don’t like the Conjuring films and aren’t up to date on the shared universe then you won’t like this as much as I did. Again I have no idea what the other reviews for this film are like, but I think that this may be one of the cases wherein my own review is a little higher than others because I am so into horror and more ready to give stuff a pass.

I think the horror is good hear, I really liked the goat and thought that the scene early on with the little girls and the devil’s eye, or whatever they called it, was a lot of fun. I would say that some of the jump scares with the Nun were a little obvious, especially if you have seen some of these films before. Again the possession angle was a great way to reunite some of the cast from the first film though I think the film spends way too much time on it we need more Valek.

The third act showdown is a funny state of affairs, where rather than it being more horror focused it almost becomes like the end of a superhero film, with Sister Irene getting special powers from a saint and then going toe to toe with Valek for a bit. It feels very odd in terms of this being a horror film but at the same time it is nice to see a more even fight in one of these demonic possession films usually it is the demon has all the power and then the demonologists or priests manage to somehow best it when all seems lost but it is much more even here.

I think that Taissa is just as capable as her sister in the leading lady department and really carries this film on her shoulders, I think if there are any more Nun films which lets face it there will be Farmiga has to come back. I would like to see her interact with Loraine, played by Vera Farmiga, but I don’t think they could swing that as they like to say that the Conjuring proper films are based on real events whereas the Nun ditches all that. I will say that there is no reason on God’s green earth that Storm Reid needs to be in this film, she adds nothing, and her bad acting is distracting, was she put in for the kids?

Overall, another fun day out in the Conjuring Universe, but not quite as good as the first film.

3.5/5

Pros.

The superhero smackdown at the end

A few good scares

It is nice to see them tie it so well into the first film

Farmiga does a good job

Cons.

Some of the scares are predictable

Reid adds nothing

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Haunted Mansion: Danny Devito Goes Full Conspiracy Theorist

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Another film about a Disney park attraction this time sans Eddie Murphy.

This film got slaughtered in a competitive summer season and would have been much better if Disney had waited and released it on Disney + for Halloween, but hey I’m not Bob Iger.

I thought that this film was better than some have said it is, I think the main cast have great chemistry, even if you have some problematic actors in Haddish and the leading man, and mostly play off each other well. I would say that once again Owen Wilson is used perfectly in a small supporting role, I think he is really finding a new niche for himself in these more considered roles like Mobius in Loki.

Again the horror of the film was fair good for a family setting, it had its moments and wasn’t as comedic as they could have made it. Going In I was worried they would have the ghosts be a threat but also be cracking jokes every few minutes to reduce it but no the film did manage to sustain a level of spooky atmosphere throughout.

I would say that the villain was quite weak and the CGI used for him even more so, as I have said in other reviews and articles I am starting to get sick of third acts that boil down to one big CGI battle again I think it just reflects poor writing and how these writers don’t know how to wrap things up in a satisfying way and so the creatives regurgitate CGI colours all over you to try and make you forget.

Overall, an entertaining film that won’t be winning any awards

3/5

Good atmosphere

The cast work well together

I thought the emotional beats hit where they should

Cons.

The CGI

It has pacing issues

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