Death Of A Unicorn: Hollywood Sticking It To Themselves?

A rich father, Paul Rudd, and his daughter, Jenna Ortega, kill a unicorn.

So before watching this film I had heard how it was an eat the rich narrative about the evil ways of the haves and how the have nots can get wrapped up in it. This made me groan as we have seen this before, but then I watched the film and groaned louder.

It is an incredibly on the nose message of these cartoonishly evil rich people who want to defile the corpse of a unicorn in order to cure cancer. Of course they want to sell this cure rather than give it away for free, which makes them then even more evil. Can you get the message yet? One has to ask are they evil or is the system that creates them evil, is the fact that America is one of the few countries in the world without free medical care not the real evil here, but no such nuance is thrown in the bin. The rich are bad and responsible for all the world’s ills. This feels like it was written by a naïve student who really doesn’t get how the world works despite daddy’s credit card funding self-indulgent narcissism in the form of instagramable charity work in deprived countries.

What for me makes this film worse is that it is Hollywood telling us the rich are bad, in the place where the director will be making over a million for the film, the actors will comfortably be making over a million for the film and where even the slightest hint of self-awareness is viewed with disgust.

Anyway once the evil rich people are dead, the Unicorns resurrected Rudd’s character the good working class father who can afford to send their child away to school, ah Hollywood really understanding the working class, and who also dresses in designer clothes. Have you got my point yet?

Overall, the sort of film that slowly and insidiously kills Hollywood.

2/5

Pros.

Unicorns are original villains

Some good kills

Cons.

The eat the rich message

The hypocrisy

The ending

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From Season Three: The Wheels Come Unstuck

Summary

Answers are revealed and far, far more questions are asked.

So, I would say upon reflection that this is probably the most polarising of the series released so far, I saw a lot of angry fan backlash to this season. For the most part I agree with it, I think the pacing this season was bad, I think this is likely a result of the writers strikes and then needing to make more of less. I think the fact that we only got a very limited amount of night scenes which are often the best in the show and a lot of this season happened over a couple of days was disappointing. Pound for pound we got a lot less of the monsters this season overall.

As for the mysteries and answers I thought Tabitha’s, Catalina Sandrio Moreno, time in the real world was a little too short lived, they could have done more there but they didn’t. Moreover, the reveal of the baby being a creature and Tabitha and Jade, David Alpay, being reincarnations of previous From residents all felt a bit too much like fan fiction. In the former’s case people liked Smiley and wanted him back, in the latter’s case it felt like they didn’t know where to take the mystery so read something on reddit and was like yes I’ll do that.

When the show was good, such as during the barn scene in the first episode and the ambulance scene later in the season, it was really good and reminded you of why you like the show. However, there was just too much talking and filler this season and that crucially was its central problem.

Overall, a step back from previous seasons.

4/5

Pros.

A few good scenes

Possible better reveals being set up

The man in yellow

Some good scares

Cons.

Far too much filler

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The Woman In The Yard: The Black Woman In Black

Summary

Like the Babadook but with black folks.

So for me if this was a short film and ran to about the forty minute mark I would be giving this a near perfect score. The first act where you meet a supernatural woman in black who is incredibly menacing towards a family in the middle of nowhere, and wherein the threat level is slowly ramped up over time is very good. The second act begins to fall apart as we get more of an idea of who the woman in the yard is, and then the third act which is both nonsensical and reveals the film to be a Babadook clone entirely ruins the whole film.

The woman in the yard,Okwui Okpokwasili, is a compelling monster, and her power set does make for some good scares. However, the filmmakers break the cardinal rule by telling rather than showing and when we learn that she is just a manifestation of the lead’s depression and that a lot of the broader more supernatural things that happen may well be in her head, you just go eh and lose interest. The Babadook which this film clearly wants to be did a similar thing, however, it left the ending ambiguous enough to the effect that you didn’t know if the Babadook was real or not this film spells it out for you.

Overall, a strong first act positions it above average, but then everything else stops it from getting into the good rating tier.

3.5/5

Pros.

The early scares

How they set up the woman in the yard

The lack of jump scares

The setting use

Cons.

When they reveal what the woman is

The ending

The pacing in the end of the second act and start of the third.

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Deadly Intent: The Shadows Of A Father’s Love

Summary

A mother, Rebecca Reaney, and child, Gus Barry, face the threat of an abusive husband and father, Peter Lloyd, from beyond the grave.

So anyone familiar with maternal horror will find that this is quite by the numbers. All of your standard hallmarks are there, overwrought mum, withdrawn kid, and some kind of supernatural threat. However, where this film gets some extra points for me is by having the spirit that is harming them being the father who tried to kill his son in life.

The exploration of domestic abuse and how the trauma can stick around long after the person has died made this film interesting to me and separated it out from being yet another Babadook clone. I also found interesting how this film approached grief showing how the mother is in no way effected by it and is instead overwrought by her fears of losing closeness with her son. This marks a distinct difference from how single mother grief is often depicted in these sorts of films and offered some much need divergence.

Overall, it pretty much is what it says on the tin, or in the summary, what you see is what you get. The reason I am interested in it is because it is different and provides a counter weight to other films in the maternal horror subgenre.

3/5

Pros.

It offers a different perspective on grief

The intimate ghostly connection and comments on domestic abuse

British charm

Cons.

The pacing

It looks very low budget

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Cinema Issues: The Summer Of Dumb

In this edition of Cinema Issues we will be discussing the quality of this summers cinematic offerings.

A few things to get out of the way, firstly this is my own taste, if you like bang bang bang and forced Marvel humour in your new releases that’s you, but I most certainly do not. I also acknowledge that blockbuster entertainment is supposed to appeal to the masses.

That said, I look at the summer slate, particularly the month of July, and am saddened. Where is the originality, where is the effort to make good films that would last the test of time, rather than just easy sequels and reboots, where is the excitement. Looking at the cinematic slate for July, it just seems as though Hollywood is in a race to the bottom for low effort stinkers that the masses may still put up with.

Coming in on opposing sides you have the Superhero genre which itself cannot accept that it is dead. On the one side you have the 5^th iteration of Superman, which looks not only like they don’t understand the character, despite posting all those Instagram shots reading comics, as Clarke, would rather make whoopie with Lois than save the city. Added to this is the fact that the film will clearly continue James Gunn’s track record of goofy humour, and has more animal abuse in it. Unoriginal, goofy, doesn’t understand the character.

Then on the other side you have the Fantastic Four the 3^rd iteration of that IP, with most of the characters unrecognisable, a girl boss Sue Storm obsessed with gender politics, a soft and effeminate Johnny Storm, Pedro Pascal playing a scientist etc. What’s more this film will continue to push Marvel’s unwanted Multiverse Saga that increasingly no one other than Kevin Fiege wants. Unoriginal, does not get the characters, continues a saga no one wants continued.

Proceeding both of these threats to cinema, is yet another Jurassic World film. Turns out the big finale where they got the old and new cast together was not the finale everyone thought it was going to be. Now we are back fighting yet more dinosaurs which do not in any way have even the slightest bit in common with actual dinosaurs anymore, so for all those people who say oh I just watch them because I like dinosaurs you might as well say you just like bland CGI monstrosities that look a similar shape to dinosaurs. Unoriginal, repetitive and dull.

Coming out in the rest of the month you have a legacy sequel to I Know What You Did Last Summer which was barely strong enough to hold a sequel let alone a sequel decades later. You can bring back all the nighties stars you want it won’t make anyone care about this, this is not Scream. Scream had an enduring popularity, and the Summer films were always a bargain bucket version of them. Unoriginal, unasked for, and desperate. As well as that you also have the third or fourth reboot of the Smurfs as they just can’t let any IP go. The fact kids have not enjoyed or gone to see the other iterations of the Smurfs should clearly give the studio executives pause but no this is going to be the one right, it has to be. Even more desperate, even more unoriginal.

In that short list of 5 of July’s big releases did you notice that not even one was an original film, did you notice how they were all sequels, spin offs, or reboots, most of which were unasked for. When Hollywood sits there and wonders why folks aren’t going to the cinema like they used to, this is why.

They need to let IPs end, they need to understand that some IPs just are not relevant anymore and they need to spend money on original projects.

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The Monkey: Tatiana Maslany Is The Fun Mum You Never Knew You Needed

Summary

Oz Perkins follow up to Long Legs focuses on an evil monkey, who ‘holds the key’ to life and death and he’s ‘gonna get me’ and all of us as he is seemingly a harbinger of the end of the world.

So for me this was a step back from Long Legs and in many ways a tonally strange film, it seemingly didn’t know whether it wants to be a horror film or a comedy film and tries to mix and match different elements that don’t come together well. I would argue that this is probably also a weaker film than The Black Coats Daughter so it is not even second in the Perkins ranking.

The monkey itself was interesting, I liked the mythology around it and would have preferred if they had played into its connection to the Apocalypse, rather than waste time with an needless father-son story that really just felt like it was there to make the film long enough to be feature length.

Overall, it was okay but not some of Perkins better work.

2.5/5

Pros.

The mythology

Maslany

The kills

Cons.

The humour

The pacing

The father and son side plot

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Cinema Issues: Does Rape Belong In Star Wars, A Discussion, [Andor Season Two]

In this edition of Cinema Issues we will be discussing rape in Andor. Now bear in mind we will be doing this sparingly but if you find this topic triggering then this might not be the edition for you.

So within the latest season of Andor, a Star Wars tv show, there is a suggestion that one of the female characters was assaulted by an Imperial Officer Now this is causing a great deal of controversy, as people are saying that rape has no place in Star Wars, and for me personally this is somewhat of a nuanced conversation. For those angry I would say this, what do you think happened when Leia, Carrie Fisher, was enslaved and before Luke, Mark Hamill, showed up. Moreover, throughout the saga we have seen genocide, the abduction of children, forced re-education and a number of other atrocities, this is a story about war and rape is a common occurrence to POWs so it makes sense for it to feature. Additionally, Andor was never marketed as a kids show, just because it is of the Star Wars IP and on Disney+ does not mean that it is for kids. They have been pretty straight up in saying it isn’t, if you can’t do basic research to see the themes and subject matters in a show before allowing your kid to watch then that’s on you.

However, on the flip side there is the question of is it necessary? They could say it happened do they need to show it so graphically? This becomes a matter of taste. To add that you have the fact that these sort of scenes, whilst relevant in the setting in terms of war, can be traumatic for those who have experienced rape or for those who have had a loved one experience it and that is going to cause strong feelings. So again we go back to the matter of taste, and was it necessary to depict it in the way they do?

Ultimately the answer is up to you, if you want the practical realities of war then it is an important component, and it is needed and important to show, but if you find it triggering then it might be a sign that it is not for you and you should avoid it for you own mental health, which is totally valid. It is a matter of personal preference.

I will end with this, whilst I can understand both sides of the argument here, the idea that rape being in Andor ruins Star Wars or has no place is stupid inherently, as not only is it implied elsewhere and other atrocities are shown, but also this is a show for adults and reflects the realities of what the war against the Empire would have looked like. If you want your soft family friendly Star Wars with puppets and only mild themes like kids being abducted and brainwashed into becoming First Order soldiers then you can totally just skip Andor. It is not required viewing.

So whilst I understand the sensitivity of the subject matter and how it can impact people I think a lot of the outrage is performative and in at least a few cases from people who don’t watch the show, Josh from Den Of Nerds comes to mind. In these cases people just want to outrage farm, for in my opinion no good reason, but I also like the show and its approach to showing the war so I could be bias.

It really is one for you and what you are comfortable with.

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Cinema Issues: The Death Of Joel [The Last Of Us Season Two]

In this edition of Cinema Issues we will be discussing The Last Of Us and its future.

Well folks I thought they would push it to nearer the end of the season and have this season and the newly announced season three be the second game’s story, but no, they did it in episode two which was pretty bold of them.

The it I am referring to is the death of Joel, Pedro Pascal, the central character of the show. In the games this shocking subversion was met with outrage, as was the following journey to get vengeance on Abby. This is mainly because Joel is both the main character and also in this case he is played by Pedro Pascal and a lot of people like him, in both instances it caught people off guard and felt out of left field.

The fact remains that with Pedro leaving the show, he’ll be around for flashbacks but he will be stepping back for the most part, there will be audience members who leave. The question I am asking in this Cinema Issues article is how much of an effect will this have on the popularity of the show and will the discourse become as angry as it did surrounding the second game?

It is curious that the show decided to depict the scene in the same way the game did as other aspects of the second game have been changed, mainly that Abby, Kaitlyn Dever, is not the musclebound presence she is in the game. I thought perhaps they would tone it down a little bit so that it might be less off putting for people, but no.

I think the question really becomes is Ellie, Bella Ramsey, enough of a draw to get people to watch, and is Ramsey herself a good enough actress to centre the show around? Both of these questions are up in the air right now and time will tell, however, if enough of the audience do check out over the death of Joel it could be a massive blow to the show, possibly a mortal one.

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Cinema Issues: The Fresh Half-Blood Prince

As many of you know the adult casting for the Harry Potter TV series is now out. Whilst there are some spot on casting decisions such as Nick Frost as Hagrid, there are also some impractical ones such as John Lithgow as Dumbledore, given the actor’s age, but one stands out above all as being ill conceived.

This of course is the casting of Snape, now Snape is the central character to the Harry Potter narrative. He is a half blood wizard, this will now be a problem, and severs as a minor antagonist throughout the series for Harry before eventually helping him out of love for his mother.

The casting of Snape is notable for one key reason, they have race swapped the character turning from Alan Rickman to a young black male actor. Now why did they do this well that’s pretty obvious? The cast was too white for modern day Hollywood and even though it is supposed to be the UK in the nineties which was predominantly white, you have to hit your quota.

The reasons this is problematic are four fold, he doesn’t look like the character from a book’s perspective, he undermines other key black characters from the books, it was done for the negative headlines, and the whole everyone is now a racist thing.

So firstly in the books they give a pretty good physical description for Snape, sallow skin, pale, long greasy hair hanging like curtains, so straight, and a hooked nose. Now clearly this is not describing a young black man, and the fact that both HBO and WBD have said they want this to be a faithful adaptation of the books means this is a problem. They cannot claim that with his major change that they are respecting Rowling’s books anymore, and it will only be the first of many changes.

Secondly, characters like Kingsley Shackelbolt and Dean Thomas who were prominent characters of colour in the books, could have been brought in and explored in more detail rather than race swapping a character. This is irritating as rather than explore these underrepresented characters both of which could do with some fleshing out, they are instead taking a well known character and just making him black which adds no new depth or anything like that. Honestly it feels gimmicky.

Thirdly, you have the fact that if this wasn’t just done to tick a box it was done to make people angry and to get people talking. Hollywood is still under the belief that all press is good press and that if they get people angry and making content about their casting or other aspects of their productions that it will translate into more sales. This is wrong. I have seen many people say after the race swap that they won’t be watching the show, because as I said earlier this wont be the only change done to generate outrage, it will go further and it will go deeper, this is a symptom of a wider disease. Many people will stupidly think that someone not watching something over a race swap is racist, when in actual fact they can just see the red flag that something like that generates with regard to respecting the source material and making ‘changes’ and that’s all they need to stay away.

Fourthly in the world of Harry Potter you already have racism to a degree with the idea of half bloods and pure bloods, and now they are going to make this even more overt by having a black man be labelled the half-blood prince, and teach the dark arts it couldn’t be anymore on the nose. Moreover, Harry hates Snape all the kids do, is the show going to say they are all racist, all these white kids hate their only black teacher, seems like a school of bigots. Moreover, Harry’s father was Snape’s bully, and you are supposed to like him despite this, yet the tv show will now have all these kids picking on the half blood boy, or worse yet if Remus, Sirius, James and Peter are white, a group of white boys picking on a black boy. Again the optics are God awful.

There was no need for this change.

Maybe I am making things worse and giving them what they want by spending time writing about it, but I see a bad moon ahead, I see this series becoming a Rings Of Power esque situation wherein it has no resemblance to the source material anymore and just boils down to over produced fan fiction.

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Heart Eyes: Death The Ultimate Cock Block

Summary

A serial killer is killing couples, can you survive?

I enjoyed this film quite a bit, if reminded me in a number of ways of the Scream films and also the Scary Movies, that is not to say that it was a comedy film it was still a slasher but there were comedic elements within that. In many ways it wanted to hit on both fronts in the way something like Thanksgiving also wanted to do, but where that film couldn’t really land its comedy this one does.

I think a hell of a lot of what makes this film work is Olivia Holt, she is such a charming and likeable lead that you cannot help but root for her, you also really believe the love story as well, it feels very warm but also modern and not cliché. When I saw Christopher Landon’s name in the credits I knew why I liked it so much as Ally has a lot of similarities to Tree from Happy Death Day on of my all time favourite slasher films.

Overall, a surprisingly fun slasher film.

3.5/5

Pros.

Holt

The humour

The romance

The kills

Cons.

The reveal is obvious

Pacing issues

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